Beach Day and a Dinner Date

This is my home for the week.  It's a small but cute cabin. 

And here's a favorite perk.  If you buy the campground mug you get free coffee all week.  They even deliver it to your cabin first thing in the morning. Works for me!

Every morning we have two Bible sessions. I really enjoyed the first speaker especially.  Here are a few goodies from what he taught.

When Christ returns, all that will matter will be were we good and faithful servants?  A servant does the will of another.  Bottom line - we are not here to do what we want, but to do the will of the Father.

In salvation I am regenerated.  In regeneration, God transforms my heart.  Ez. 36:26,27

When I understand God's grace, it teaches me to deny sin and it energizes me to live a new life.

Deny ungodliness everywhere in your life.

The fruit of the Spirit is a personality transplant.  Christ's for mine.  **The more I love Him, the more I surrender to Him.

Sanctification is a behavior modification process.  It should be longterm change.  People should see us changing throughout our whole life and remark about it.  (ex.  You are kinder than you used to be.  You are more generous than you used to be.)  Always changing for the better.  See ** above.

I should have an increased frequency in my response to God (obedience) and a decreased frequency of living the way I was before He came into my life.

Say the following statements aloud when you need a reminder.

God said all my sins are gone.
I am white as snow in His sight.
God has forgotten all my sins.
Jesus will never condemn me for my sins.

I couldn't get out of that meeting fast enough to get alone and pray.  The first thing I said was, "Lord, there is no end to how much I need you.  And there's no end to how you can meet my needs."  Truly, as it says in 1Peter, He has given us everything we need for life and godliness.  Now we just have to do it.

After lunch, the girls and I headed to the beach.  You can see it was the perfect day for it.

Ben can't leave the Island since it's the last week of camp, so we've struck up a plan.  I come over at 6pm and bring him dinner.  Today's choice - the best pizza ever.

The bears add a nice Adirondack touch, I think.

Next stop - boat dock.  I was met by this stylish dude.

 and then we feasted.  And it was soooo good.

We sat in two big Adirondack chairs overlooking the basketball court and the lake and spent a few hours talking about his summer experience and the books he's read.  I love this kid.  And then we walked back down to the dock, his arm around me all the way and he said, "I'm glad you're here."  I said, "What are we doing tomorrow?"  He shrugged and said he didn't care.  I said, "Same time, different food?"  He laughed.

It's a date. 

Destination Reached. I Made it to the Mountains.

Left at 8:25 a.m. (after a quick tire fill - big thanks to my husband for following me to the gas station and filling them up). 225 miles. 3 and 1/2 hours. Destination reached.

Since it is Sunday and I missed church, I took it upon myself to conduct my own worship service right there in the front seat.  It consisted of shuffling through my ipod a grand assortment of MercyMe (of course), Matthew West, Matt Redman, Nicole Nordeman and more.  I sang to God all the thanks that was in my heart.  I listen to music loud you might remember.

So I especially loved the freedom of singing as loud as I wanted to without comments from the peanut gallery. I didn't have to hear the things I usally do, "You're not on key. Nowhere near the notes. Please, don't whistle along. Don't quit your day job. Kinda pitchy, dawg." And my personal favorite, "You're weird, man".  I think God liked it.  Especially when 'our song' came on.  God and I have a song.  It's named Here With Me. It makes me happy everytime I hear it.

Now, before I go any further, I want to assure you that I packed everything I need for my week away.

Laptop.  Check.  So I can blog. Ally was not happy with this decision.  Sorry girl!

My bag of Bible, journal, notebooks, etc.  Notice the plastic bag to keep them safe at the beach.

Shoes.  Just a few pairs.  You simply don't know what you're going to need for a whole week in the mountains. You must come prepared.

My stack of books to read. A little ambitious?  We'll see. 

A charged ipod.  And my rechargeable book light.  What if I can't sleep?  I have roommates.  Can't turn on the room light. Once a nerd, always a nerd.

Packed full.  I don't think I forgot anything. I could stay a 2nd week if necessary.

OOOps, don't forget the fan!

 As promised, I left a to-do list for the ones I left behind.  Reasonable, I think.  I wouldn't want them to get bored and watch tv.  Unacceptable!



Don't feel too badly for them.  I did make cookies before I left.  Well, ok, Ally made them, but I stood there teaching her how.  And I bought oreos!  Doesn't happen all the time, folks.  Double stuff.

 Now, back to the road trip.  I don't think I was gone one hour before I got this text.
Fresh guilt for a new day!

As I chugged along, Rte. 87 I came upon my favorite sign in NY State.  I know what you're thinking.  I stopped the car.  Probably not real safe as huge trucks whizzed by but it's got to be better than taking it while driving, right?

 And before I knew it, I had arrived at destination #1.  Gotta see my boy first thing. Here I am at the dock looking over onto the island.  So beautiful. Glad I had a few minutes to just take it in.  Worth the drive.

He wasn't sure if he could be at the boat dock because he might be in church.  Turns out he couldn't make it so because he knows gift giving is my love language, he left me this package.  That's  my Benny.  So thoughtful.

 I went to the laundromat and took care of that little project, delivered them to his cabin and sat down in an Adirondack chair with a book and waited for him.  I saw him first and he didn't see me (guess he expected me to still be folding laundry), so I whistled my "Come here, Mommy's calling" whistle.  It worked.  How I love that face.

 Spent a couple of hours with him then headed to the Campground to meet my friends. Here are 3 of us at the cute place we went for burgers and milkshakes.  Appropriately named The Main Street Ice Cream Parlor.  A good dinner. Kind of fattening.

And that's the end of the first day.  Amen.

Random Ramblings of an Emotional, Maybe A Little Crazy Woman

Hey there!  It's Saturday night and tomorrow is a big day.  It's the start of the week I've been waiting for all summer and also the week I've been dreading.

My recent high school graduate and second son, Ben has been working at camp for seven weeks.  I haven't seen him in four.  This is his last week. Yippppeeee! He's coming home! (Even if it is for just two short weeks until he heads back up for college.)  Gotta be grateful for what we're given.

Meanwhile, I get the silly pleasure of staying at the Word of Life Campground in a cabin with some fun friends for the first part of the week and then alone for a few days until I bring home my 'package' on Saturday.

But alas, it's also the week I've dreaded because it marks the last week my favorite firstborn, Drew is home for the summer. He leaves Friday to head back to school.  For his final year of college.  Then he's getting married next summer. No more living at home in June, July and August. Or ever. Waaaaaa! Sorry, I'll be ok.

Talk about conflicted!  I want to go up to this wonderful place to pick up this little guy that I've missed very much.

But I also want to be home for this guy's last week.  Especially since all he wants to do is talk about wedding stuff....with me!  I don't want to miss any of that.

Naturally, he's making me feel guilty about leaving.  "Sure, go ahead. Don't worry about me. Ben's your favorite anyway."

Do all kids do that?

Which begs the question, "What kind of mother leaves the last week her son is home for the summer?  Who won't be home to see him pack his car and leave? He'll be gone when I get back. Summer over. Waaaaaa.

But I miss Ben-Ben who has been gone so long. Who I haven't seen in FOUR weeks (did I mention that already?) Sniff.  He's actually glad I'm coming to keep him company when he's not working, bring him food (real food as he put it) and he's ready to come home!!

What kind of mother doesn't respond to that?

Choosing between your children s-t-i-n-k-s. Plain and simple.

And I haven't even mentioned these two.  They are really laying it on thick.  "Don't go! We'll be bored without you. Sure, just leave us and go on off with your friends. Who cares about us stuck at home? Don't worry, we'll try not to starve." 

Do all husbands do that?

I've never been much for guilt trips. Neither taking them or giving them. (Well,  maybe I've given a few.) I grew up in an Italian Catholic extended family. I get guilt trips. They can be effective. But they are rarely fun. I don't dig them.

But I do feel bad and a little guilty.  I want to live up to everyone's expectations for me. I don't want my kids to be disappointed or feel like I've chosen one over the other.  And I really don't like leaving Scott for that many days.  I miss him.

So what's a wife and mother to do?!?  Stay home?  Go?  Hide under a rock?  Flip a coin?  Have someone else decide?  Eat something chocolate and hope for the best?

I've made up my mind.  I just have to go. Word of Life is more than just a happy place for me. It's the place where I surrendered my heart and life to Jesus for the last time so many years ago.  Being there stirs up so many meaningful, grateful emotions and I love reliving them when I can.

I.Love.It.There. I stare up at the "Adirondack blue" sky (as my friend Linda calls it).  I marvel at the tall pines.  I breathe the mountain air.

When the soul is thirsty, this is the place to go.

I meet with God there. I read a lot. I journal. I pray. I sit and listen. I hear great Bible teaching. I am refreshed and renewed.

You see, it's more like a spiritual retreat and I think a wise woman knows when she needs one and gets her body, mind and soul there when the opportunity arises.

So I'm off first thing....stay tuned for my Adirondack Adventures.

And don't worry about the ones I'm leaving home.  God's got plans for them too - ones that I won't be able to interfere with from so far away.  Even though I am leaving a to-do list.  Ssssshhhh.

Something To Hang Onto When You Think You've Got Nothing Left

What do you do... When God feels distant? When God doesn't cooperate? When God seems late?

A little something you should know about Scott and me is that we are sermon junkies. We love to hear us a great sermon straight from God's Word. We love gifted communicators. It's no secret that Beth Moore has been one of my favorites for many years and I credit her with mentoring me into a love for God's Word and presence.  For Scott, it's Andy Stanley.  In fact, I like to refer to Andy as Scott's Beth Moore. Does this make us weird to you?

 Andy Stanley answered those questions above in a dvd series Scott and I just watched called When God?.  Watch trailer here.

It couldn't have come to us at a better time. (Naturally, God knew that.) We've been in what we could call a season of waiting for quite a while now.  The questions hit close to home. Andy's teaching really encouraged me so I want to share some of it with you in case you find yourself not wanting to ask those questions but you wouldn't mind hearing the answers.  

A lot of this will be direct quotes from the notes I took.  

"God's lack of cooperation (in our lives) is not an argument for or against His existence. In the Old Testament and New Testaments there are men and women who experienced God's inattentiveness, uncooperativeness and lateness but it's not a reflection on His feelings for them."

Well right of the bat I liked hearing that.  I guess I hadn't thought about this much lately. Of course there are plenty of men and women in the Bible whom God loved, knew their names and had a plan for their lives, but He still didn't necessarily rescue, heal or say yes to their prayers. Consider the lives of John the Baptist, Paul and Lazarus.

The good news here is that I'm in good company.  And so are you. Just because God hasn't answered our prayers (yet), or rescued us, and perhaps has said no for now (or forever), doesn't mean He isn't here. He still loves us. Still knows our names. Still has a plan for our lives. PHEW!  Did you need to hear that too?

He tells us that Paul asked God to remove the thorn in the flesh that God Himself gave him. It was a nuisance to him, painful, and even hindered Paul from doing what God called him to do.  Do you know what God answered?

Part 1.  "But He said to me, 'No. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'"*  Andy contends the answer is also for us. 

What are you asking God for?  The answer may be....No, but My grace is sufficient for you.

Grace - ability to put one foot in front of the other; ability to endure the unknown for one more day

Sufficient - adequate; more than enough

Part 2.  "for My power is made perfect in weakness."

He says, "We're all about giving glory to God through our strengths, success, talent, opportunities but none of us jump up and volunteer for giving glory to God through our weakness, our failure, inabilities or lack of opportunities."  OUCH.

Well, that's a hard pill to swallow but I regretfully admit it describes me. I've never wanted to be that Christian, do you?

"God will....God has....God is....going to showcase His strength in our weakness if we learn to take NO for an answer realizing it has nothing to do with His love for us, His compassion for us or His presence in our lives."

And get this...."His strength in our weakness IS His presence in our lives."

Let's remember that we have permission to ask God to remove our thorns and He has permission to say no.

Remember the definitions of grace and sufficient?  Call it sustaining grace. "You can't experience God's sustaining (His strength in my weakness) grace by refusing to take no for an answer (resisting His will)."

Oh boy. Deep breath before continuing.

"Sustaining grace begins with the prayer 'Not my will, but Yours be done.'"

This one likely may be my favorite quote:  "Into the gap between what I want, what I deserve, what God owes me, what He does for everyone else and what God has decided to do is the sufficient, sustaining, empowering power of God."

In the book of John, Jesus said to Lazarus's sister Mary, "Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of God?"**  He said that seconds before He glorified God by raising Lazarus from the dead.  Raised from the dead.  I'd call that glorious.

Well my friend, you've read all the way to the end because this has struck a chord. I'm so glad you're getting the same good news I got today. Even if it doesn't feel like a warm, cuddly blanket just yet, Andy says that while this kind of message isn't emotionally satisfying (doesn't really fix our situation), it gives us something to hang onto. Yes, that's what I'm looking for. Something to hang on to.

I want to see the glory of God in my situation.  I think you do too. Our job is to believe.

Always underneath this hard teaching I remember, God loves me. He sees me. He knows my name. He has a plan for my life. Jesus called John the Baptist the greatest man who ever lived. Paul was called to change the world with his preaching and write most of the New Testament. Lazarus was referred to as 'the one Jesus loves'.  Still, John was not rescued from prison or beheading, Paul was told no and Lazarus died because according to his sisters, Jesus was late. Yes, I too can trust Him.

So I end with this prayer. Lord, I don't know if this is ever going to change. I don't know if I can go another day, but God's grace is sufficient for me. In my weakness, He is strong. If this is what you've chosen for me...not my will, but yours be done.  Amen. Bring on the glory.



P.S.  You can imagine I highly recommend this series. You'll get much more from it. You won't have any trouble finding it to purchase on the internet.  Do it.  All noted quotes in this blog are from Andy Stanley

*2 Corinthians 12:7-10
**John 11:40

We've Got an Announcement!

Godly. Funny. Cute. In that order. It's what we told our teenage kids should be priority characteristics in what they look for in a date (mate). I remember the day I got a phone call from my beloved firstborn son, Drew (19 at the time), calling from Word of Life Bible Institute.

"Mom, I want you to pray about something.  I've met this girl."
I responded, "Oh really. Has she got the three things?" 
"Yes."
"Are they in the right order?"
"I'm not sure yet."
"Let's talk when you know."
"Ok, but I really want you to pray about this, Mom. I want to do the right thing."

Yes, I certainly would pray.

Not too much later, another call: "Mom, she's got all three and they are in the right order."
Deep breath. Not sure at what age I expected this to happen, the first 'outsider' penetrating our family circle, but I'm sure my first thought was, "Already? But you're so little!".

When he asked us to observe them for a weekend and let him know if we thought they were ready for dating, my jaw dropped. It's that invitation you hope will happen, but you're not really sure your kid will indulge it and trust you with that kind of input. He was 19 after all. I certainly didn't approach dating like that - at any age. Let's not go there.

I probably should confess that I'm fiercely protective of my kids as any mom is, but I have a powerful, soft spot for these boys of mine due to the strong mother/son connection we share and protecting them from girls has been my full-time job since they turned out so darn cute! Well, let's be honest, I've made a career of it.  I think God is ok with that.

Soon the weekend arrived.  Drew was bringing a girl home to meet Mom and Dad! I wasn't sure if I was quite prepared for this, to see him with a girl he obviously had developed strong feelings for that I hadn't met yet. Perhaps I was still nursing the fantasy that he'd let Scott and I choose for him.  Still I knew (mostly because Scott kept telling me) I needed to suck it up and not just be accommodating, but to embrace this as a very important event in my son's life. I can do this.

Honestly, I was ok until the day they arrived. Turns out I was cranky and short with the rest of the family as the time got closer. Deep down I realized that I was fearful and nervous because I didn't know how Drew would treat me while he was trying to impress a girl. The right response was to put all my insecurities and fears behind me and act like the grown up. Bottom line I had to make a decision that this wasn't about me.

Here they are that very weekend.

It's clear from the picture how cute she is and soon we learned that she's fun, too. We liked her right away and I appreciated her sharing her testimony with me while helping me do the dishes. Approved. I mean she obviously was wise (she was attending WOLBI) and she had good taste (she liked my son).

I admit it took me a little while, maybe a few months, to be able to get the words 'Drew' and 'girlfriend' out in the same sentence but eventually I could.  Don't judge me. Remember he is my beloved firstborn and this is the first dating we've experienced. Baby steps for mommy.

We've never had any reservations about Brittany, no not one. But some months into this, as I was muddling through my complex feelings about this relationship and the long term effects it could have on our family dynamic, God gently whispered to me.

He said something like this, "Why isn't Brittany in your gifts journal?"*
"Um, she isn't?"
"No."
"Of course she is.  I'm thankful for her."
"She's not in there.  Look for yourself."
"Um. Oh."
"What if Brittany is my gift to you?  The answer to your prayers?  What if she is the daughter-in-law you've prayed for?"

Talk about take my breath away. I could only muster one response. Tears. Lots of them. I hadn't considered God's kindness expressed that way. What if Brittany wasn't just for Drew, but she was for me, too, and the rest of us? I got out my pen.

Changed perspective. Joy. Fear gone.

Fast forward about two years.  I'd like to describe their relationship and the intentional, mature way they have both approached it, but I think I'd rather you hear it straight from Brittany. She writes a blog too, and THIS is what she wrote just last week. (Go to her blog here). Seriously, please take a few minutes to read it (and share with any young men and women you know). I hope it inspires you to have high standards/expectations for your kids in every part of their lives, especially relationships. Take special note of #6 and #8. They are my personal favorites!

I'll pause so you can read it.

See what I mean?  Good stuff. We could not be prouder of both of these kids.

Which brings us to this summer.  The boy wants to buy a ring.  Hot flash!  For weeks our days have been chock full of scheming.  Looking at rings, brainstorming how he should propose, what we like in weddings, etc.  He hasn't wanted to talk about anything else.

He's worked two jobs and saved all his money then one day he brought the beautiful ring home. When I saw that huge, perfectly straight toothed smile I can never resist, I gulped. It's real. This is going to happen. My heart was so....happy.  Like giddy.  Like I-can't-wait-til-he-asks-her happy.  Kind of surprised me to tell you the truth.

The feelings I feared of wanting to hold on to him and not give him to another female or a future independent of us simply were not there. (Now I'm not saying there aren't going to be some tears shed in the near future and some ripping of the heart strings, but as for this day, just peace.)

You see, something I've learned about God during my parenting years is that He ALWAYS prepares me and equips me with what I need, or changes me to be able enter the next phase when the time comes.  Always.  Never beforehand.  This is probably why we panic when we imagine future events with our kids and say to other moms, "I'll never be able to handle that!".

I remember many overwhelming mommy emotions and meltdowns like when:

• Drew, my first baby, went to kindergarten
• Ally, my last, went to kindergarten ending my parenting preschoolers phase
• each one left elementary school
• Drew went to high school much further from home
• I encouraged my boys at 16 years old to spend their summer away from home working at WOL (what on earth?)
• Drew graduated high school and left us to go to college

Heartwrenching, I know. But survivable. Bittersweet turned mostly sweet because we trust God with our kids. We trust that He has a plan for their lives that is likely better and bigger than ours.

We've been praying for years that God would provide each of our kids with a partner who loves God first and loves our child next - a lot - the way we all want to be loved. We dream that they will together pursue God and His purposes for their marriage/family.  Brittany loves our son and is passionately pursuing God privately and publicly. That's what we asked for and that's what we got! Godly. Funny. Cute. She's all 3 - in the right order and that is a gift not lost on us.

Ok, enough talk from me. Tuesday, July 30 our little guy got engaged. See for yourself below.

See what I mean about the smile?

She said YES!

Then he asked her for his first kiss that he waited 21 years for.  She said yes to that too. 

Ok, ok, let's not get carried away :)

It's a happy time here at our home. We are so grateful to God for many, many things. We are looking forward to a wedding next summer and welcoming a daugher-in-law into our family.  I think the word 'fiancee' is going to come out pretty easily.

This might be my favorite.  That's a lot of love.

*Just a few months previous to that day I had begun a journal of gifts, things that made me happy, things I was thankful for, inspired by the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp