Earlier that day, I was reading one of my favorite Christian bloggers. One of my favorite posts is when she suggests books and comments on the ones she's reading. This particular day, though, she was recommending shows and movies to watch.
As one who doesn't want to waste my time on trash, I really don't watch much tv. Not a fan of vulgarity, violence, nudity, dumb foolishness and excessive cursing. I mean, can't we be a little more creative in our word choices?
That said, I love a good movie. So I value recommendations by those I trust.
"This made my whole week when I saw it. I cannot wait for _________ to be back in my life. If you haven’t watched the first season on Amazon Prime, then you haven’t lived. It’s so good and so funny", she wrote.
She had proposed good selections in the past, so I didn't hesitate. I looked it up and noticed it was approved for ages 12 and up. Excellent. Safe, I was sure.
So I told Scott and Ben, who happened to be home, that we had to watch it.
Within the first 10 minutes there was a full out sex scene. The two lovers were clothed but it was more than obvious what was happening. I bristled. Not cool. Then the language. Not impressed.
A few well-placed laughs kept me in my chair, giving a second chance, benefit of the doubt that something valuable would redeem this show.
Next thing I know, the main character dropped her top. Full frontal nudity from the waist up.
FULL FRONTAL NUDITY!
My wide eyes glanced around the room. My recently engaged 23-year-old son looked at me and then averted his eyes.
All these years we've shielded him and implored him to guard his eyes, avoid pornography at all cost, to honor women by refusing to watch this kind of degrading entertainment, and here I've brought it into our home and placed it squarely in front of his face.
I was aghast and ashen, I'm sure. I quickly looked into the dining room where my daughter's 19-year-old boyfriend was playing a board game with her.
I breathed a quick thanks to the Lord that I had not exposed him to nudity in our home. How would I explain that to his mother?
I've been around the bend long enough to know that Hollywood ratings for minors are not even close to what I find appropriate for myself and those in my care, so my bad on regarding that. But a Christian woman who writes Bible studies and encourages women to live for the Lord is recommending this?
The rest of the night I seethed. Where was the warning? There's been many a movie that we have turned off in the first 10, 20, 30 minutes because the language was so filthy and excessive which makes me so careful when recommending any visual entertainment. Most of the time I just don't. Sometimes I even say things like, "This is a great movie, but they say the S word seven times." Or "I want you to know there's one scene that is inappropriate, so watch out for that."
Why didn't she feel like she needed to say, "Hey, if you're watching with your husband or young sons or adult sons or anyone for that matter - the main character will let it all hang out in the first episode? And you will see a couple having sex - so be aware." Just a warning. That's all I ask. We don't have to agree on the value or not.
Nope, she only mentioned the jokes, assuring, "you haven't lived if you haven't watched this" show.
Well I have lived better. I didn't need that nor did my husband and son.
It's forced me to ask some questions.
What's my limit of how much I consume from Hollywood?
When will I decide if it's ultimately not good for me, doesn't help me become who I want to?
At what point will I say "Enough! This isn't worth my time and brain space."?
How much immorality will I ingest for a laugh or two?
Now, you may think I'm overreacting. You may say, "Chill out, you're never going to find a movie without these kind of scenes." Or "You learn to ignore this stuff and don't even notice it."
Reminds me of something I accuse one of my children of. Whenever the tv is on, specifically golf or basketball games, you can have a full on conversation with this kid and he won't even know you're in the room. He only hears the tv. You don't exist. He's in the zone. I stretch out my arms in front of me, mocking a zombie, and say, "He's in the take me to your leader" zone.
Is that what this is? It's exactly my point. How desensitized have we become? Why aren't we shocked, embarrassed, ashamed? Why doesn't it bother us? Or bother us enough to say, "Nah, I'll wait for something that's appropriate, in line with my Biblical worldview", dare I say..."wholesome"?
Why do we just let Hollywood dictate what we are going to fill our minds and homes with? Are we blindly following?
If we claim to live by a Biblical worldview, does that include and encompass our entertainment diet?
When I used to go away on various women's retreats and conferences and such when our kids were still in the nest, I would leave a note on the tv:
Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.
How about reading a book?
It was received as you can imagine. They rose up and called me blessed. Right.
The verse in its entirety: "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but I will not be mastered by anything."* They heard that a lot along with "I will set no unclean thing before my eyes."**
I watched another Instagram exchange from yet a different author I esteem. She was recommending a tv series that we watched a few episodes of and laughed for a while, but soon it became uncomfortable, too edgy and the laughs lost in the end. We stopped watching. On the post, other commenters were pushing back, "I've heard that show is dark and sacrilegious." Then a string of back and forth from many others, some for it, some against. In the end, the author stuck to her guns and said, "I love it. It's so smart and funny." Do I have a problem with her watching that show? Of course not. But I did find myself uncomfortable with the persuasive conversation. And along with the other blogger quite honestly have shaken my confidence in their wisdom.
So here we are living in America. A very divided, argumentative, intolerant climate and culture. Do we have the right to watch what we want and have our own opinion about it? Absolutely. That is not my beef.
My 1st concern and self-talk today is how will I use my influence? In my last blog post, I mentioned the principle of walking with the wise and what we gain from finding those kind of people to hang out with and learn from.
When do I become the wise one and pay attention to what I'm encouraging others to do?
I read this quote the other day and knew it would fit here:
The Bible presents holiness as both given to us and asked of us. It says,
"In Christ, you are made holy, now be holy."***
Holiness.
Given. Expected to be given away.
Christ sees me as holy because I have received the gift of salvation He purchased for me on his cross of suffering and subsequent resurrection from the dead.
Now, He expects me to live holy.
What does that mean? What does it look like?
Holiness by definition is not dressing in white with a halo perched atop our heads.
Holiness means to be set apart. To be different in a good, clean, pure, enthusiastic, contagious way that might cause others to ask, "What's going on with her? I'd like to know more."
Again, one of my parenting go-to verses applies here:
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed
by the renewal of your mind,
by the renewal of your mind,
that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,
what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
Even in our entertainment choices? Yes, even there.
Christians, we need to get serious about how we live. Jesus is serious about it. He left a warning:
Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,
it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. Mark 9:42
I am being followed. The only leader I want to follow is Jesus. I want to go where He's going and live like He wants me to live. I want to help others find and believe Him. I hope I will leave my grandchildren a path to wisdom. They watch what we do and often do what we do. I need to consider everything in my life to reach that goal.You are being followed. To whom and what are you leading them?
There's a war going on for our souls, our holiness, our obedience to Jesus and for those we are trying to bring along with us. Let's not be absorbed in the culture. Draw some lines, reject foolishness and influence with wisdom.
*1 Corinthians 6:12
**Psalm 101:3
***In His Image by Jen Wilkin
