We Said Yes! ...A Family Decision

The days are long and the years are short they say.

They're right.

After two boys and five years of blue and denim, this little girl was born to a mom who couldn't wait to accessorize - in pink and experience all things girly. She has given us so much more.

In March she turned 22.
In April she said yes to a marriage proposal.

If you know me and/or have been reading this blog for awhile, you already know a lot about Ally Burtis. So let me introduce you to the star of this blog post, Ethan Morin.

Ally presented Ethan to us almost two years ago when they were toddlers. She wanted to date him. Right. Now.
We were not in such a hurry; encouraging a slow approach: "Focus on building a friendship. There's no rush to name it something or 'commit' to each other. Chill."
She was not impressed.

However, they both honored our request for at least six months before we agreed they could make it Facebook official (God, help us survive the social media culture.)

As we took our time (s-l-o-w-l-y) getting to know Ethan and observing their relationship, we could see he was not only good for Ally, but that he meets the Burtis requirements - godly, funny, cute - in that order. Personally, I think it took him some time to get used to me, and introducing him to vintage Dr. Mario video games could be what God has used to knit our hearts together. Whatever it takes, you know?

A special wink from God to my heart is his connection to my beloved Word of  Life. Ethan grew up camping at the Campground (like our family), he attended the Bible Institute (like our kids - and me), and he hopes to serve the Lord in full time ministry at Word of Life. I mean, come on. 

Now that we've spent some time with them, it's easy to see he was raised well by parents who love Jesus; a couple with whom we expect to become fast friends, bonus gifts.

Since then, this brave young man approached Scott a few times for an acceptable timeline to propose. Even though we were blessed and impressed at his willingness to ask, we delayed him consistently knowing there was more growing up to do for all of us and waiting for the Lord's timing.



It felt right a week or so ago. Ethan was adorable when he came to us, rolled out his plan for marriage, and told us why he wants to marry Ally and how he would propose. Unbeknownst to us, he had purchased a ring back in November. What a champ - respecting our wishes and waiting for us to be ready. Big points!

He asked for our blessing.

We gave it without hesitation along with a few words from our hearts. We told him he has proven himself to us - love for the Lord first and foremost, a strong work ethic with desire for full-time ministry, can handle delayed gratification, and he's nuts about our girl. He loves her well, takes care of her, makes her smile big, thinks she's hilarious and sees the work God is doing in her life; wanting to join together with that. 

One of my favorite things about Ethan I wanted him to know is how he calls her out and calls her up to Godly wisdom and behavior, not letting her get away with foolishness or sin.

Is there anything more important than all that?

No, there isn't.

As you can imagine, when he sweetly asked her to marry him through tears (hers and his), she said yes. And then he kissed her. Her first one. And the parents said, "Amen".

When they called to tell us their news (after I had been stalking her phone on Find Friends all night), Ally showed us a written note Ethan started his proposal with. In it were three detailed categories describing Ally- 
godly, funny, cute. 

What a breathtaking moment for Scott and me. 

God has answered our prayers abundantly (a 3rd time) and helped her along with her brothers to choose well. We are so grateful and will praise His Name forever. The Lord can be trusted with our children and their future. Our job is to hold them to Biblical standards, model God-centered living, surrender them to His will, and pray without ceasing, always believing.

I guess I'm going to have to let go and let my girl be a grown up. In these later years, she has made herself irresistible to me by her joyful self-deprecating sense of humor, steady maturing, and growing deeply in her faith in a way that tells us she's ready to commit to a lifelong partner.

Mission accomplished.

Welcome, Ethan. Fasten your seat belt.
You're about to join the crazy.

We are wasting no time plunging in to planning my - I mean, Ally's - dream winter wedding. Ahem.
I believe I've already found a suitable mother-of-the-bride outfit.

When Your Obedient Child Disobeys And You're Not Mad About It

The last thing I said to him before he got on the plane a year ago was "Don't fall in love in Utah".

It was the end of Ben's undergrad studies at Moody Bible Institute and he needed an internship.

Coincidentally, a few months prior, we had spent a vacation in Utah to visit a much-beloved couple, important friends whom we hadn't seen in the flesh in twenty years. We picked up right where we left off and enjoyed the Lord's kindness to us in preserving our long distance friendship. When talking about our kids, whom they hadn't seen since they were tiny, we mentioned the internship as the next thing in Ben's life. Terry offered to host him at his church.

"That's nice," I thought, but had no intention of sending my little guy so far away. Time passed, the opportunity presented itself again, and I was reminded by a wise brother-in-law that any time spent with this man would be most valuable for our up-and-coming pastor son. Of course, he was right. Heck, I would love to spend that kind of concentrated time learning ministry and life from him.

I doubt at 22 I would have flown to the other side of the country to live with a couple I've never met for six weeks. But Ben did. So Scott and I dropped him at the airport with my last instruction (see above if you missed it).


Before long, he reported that a family in the church sort of adopted him so he would have kids his own age to hang out with. That sounded good.

Then I saw pics of the two sisters. Whoa. I may or may not have gotten a little nervous. I mean, talk about cute. I regularly asked if there was anything I need to know. Nope, my Benny was focused on the internship.

A few weeks later, during a Facetime conversation, Mrs. East, the girls' mom, got on the screen and introduced herself to me. Equally as adorable as her daughters, she wondered if we might have mutual friends since she grew up in the Adirondacks. I doubted it, telling her I kind of live in a CAMP-of-the-WOODS bubble up here.

"I grew up in Schroon Lake."
Schroon Lake!
"What's your maiden name?"
"Oris"
I recognized it and gulped.
"Are you related to Jack Wyrtzen?" (the founder of Word of Life, my favorite place in the world, where the Lord stole my heart 30 years ago?!?!?!)
"Yes, he's my Grandpa." (Her grandpa is the man whose vision God used to change my life?!)
I may or may not have had a little heart attack.

It's not an exaggeration to say this blew me away. God is bigger than all geography.

The summer internship ended and Ben went back to Moody. The kids stayed in touch.
Fast forward to November.

"Mom, I'm starting to like Katelyn as more than just a friend."
"I don't see how you are going to date a girl in Utah from Chicago"
After bringing it up a few more times and getting my same response, he told me my influence was causing him to struggle and hesitate and that if I wasn't on board, he probably wouldn't pursue her.

I was horrified and immediately convicted of heart. "Don't listen to anything I say! You have to follow God and how you think He's leading. I promise to get in line with whatever He says."


Oh the scary influence of a mother.

Turns out Katelyn agreed with Ben. Soon it was Facebook official. Benny's got a girlfriend! We were excited to meet this girl who caught his attention like no other girl had. Scott and I promised to get them in the same room in the months to come to see if there was a future in this.


One winter weekend, Katelyn and her mom Tammy flew to Chicago, picked Ben up and then came to us for a long weekend in the mountains.

Getting to know them and retracing their family history and memories of our beloved Word of Life was a beautiful gift. We liked them both so much. Tammy and I marveled at how God could bring these two together from different sides of the country with this common bond. We agreed to continue praying to see what God would have in mind for them and try to stay out of it.

Watching this relationship begin has been a tremendous blessing. Slow and steady. Smart boundaries. Intentional goals. Self-control - physically and emotionally. Prayerful. Fun. Mutual desire to honor the Lord in every area. Welcoming parental input. (my favorite - not really - but kind of.)  A gift to both sets of parents.

 By the time he graduated from Seminary in May, we sensed something was shifting.

My Ben Ben had fallen in love! Once he makes up his mind and is sure of God's will, he's ready.

We went ring shopping. He planned a surprise trip to Utah for a proposal.

This last week, on a beautiful night in beautiful Utah, Ben got down on one knee, for the first time told Katelyn he loves her, and then asked her to spend the rest of her life serving the Lord alongside him. I hear she was quite expressive. She said yes!

Then, just like his brother five years ago after his girl said yes, Ben asked Kate for his first kiss.

Their excitement is intoxicating and contagious. We are so thrilled about this upcoming marriage. Admittedly, I may have been a little skeptical over the distance and if I'd be losing my boy to the miles, but not anymore.

It could have been enough, that our over-thinking, long-praying, wise-decision making son chose her.

It could have been enough that our most influential friend, her pastor, loves her and actually had a little hand in this matchmaking.

It could have been enough that she is Jack Wyrtzen's great-granddaughter (Seriously God, did you have to go that far to get me on board?) and that I became best buddies with her mom instantly upon meeting her.

It should have been enough that God obviously orchestrated bringing these two God's will-seeking young adults together from opposite sides of the U.S.

And all those things factor in, for sure, but that's not what did it.

It was Katelyn.

Simply put, she's irresistible. We fell in love with her. Godly, funny, cute - in that order (our family requirement) - in spades! A kind, sweet, innocent, unassuming, thoughtful, deep young lady who dreams of marrying a pastor and raising a family. She'd have to be pretty amazing to bring Ben from not talking to girls to engaged in less than a year.

She's every mother's dream and the answer to this one's specific prayers for her beloved second born.

When we first met back in February, I asked her at what point did she know she liked Ben as more than just a friend. In the most adorable way, she covered her face, looked at me, grinned and said, "The day I met him."

I dig how she digs him.

One of the things I love about Kate is her willingness to wait. To not get in the driver's seat. To not hover or hint. To not pursue him when he was clueless and slow. She told me she gave her desire to the Lord and let Him decide if Ben was the one for her. Girls can be aggressive in this culture of immediate gratification and easy access by phones and social media, but not this one. She waited for God to bring Ben to her if it was His will. Can I get an amen?

Another thing that endears me to Kate is that she is what I will call a one-piece girl in a bikini world. Her modesty and the way she manages her abundant outward beauty around men keeps this mom of sons completely at ease and very proud of her. This is huge and so Romans 12:1, 2 countercultural.

I could go on, but with all that said, it is with great joy and gratitude to the One who is writing the story of their lives (and ours), that I introduce you to Katelyn East, our boy's fiancee, our future daughter-in-law.

Funny story - I've always offered to select my kids' spouses as a continued service to them (ahem) and though I was not called upon in this instance (or any - let's be honest), I'm a big fan of how this played out.

So much so that I'm going to let this kid's disobedience slide without punishment. This time.

Marriage is serious business - the role of husband and wife are clearly described in the Bible as the reflection of Jesus' relationship to all those who've trusted Him for salvation. It's a big responsibility, one that should be entered into with much prayer and intention.   

Malachi 2:15: Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring...

The longer I live the more convinced I am that in order for a family to accomplish the mission of passing down God's faithfulness to the next generation (godly offspring), it starts here. It's going to be a lot harder to do if a couple isn't intentional about this chief priority, choosing a godly spouse.

Moms, pray for your children's future mate, set the bar high for the process in how they date and whom they choose (godly, funny cute - in that order!), and also train them to be the one that someone else is dreaming of.

The reward is staggering. We are so very grateful for how our family is growing. Thanks for rejoicing with us!

It's Not Over Yet

It's no secret that birthdays make me nostalgic and emotional and eager to celebrate. Imagine what is happening in my head and heart as my little girl, my baby, approaches her 20th birthday next week.

I'm sure all moms experience this. The memories of their childhood rush in. The cute, the irresistible, the happy, the good, the bad, the ugly.

Since my three children will be in their 20's as of next week, I sort of feel like I'm on the other side so I want to talk to the young moms today. (Older women, I'll get to you at the end.) You don't need me to tell you that the days go quickly or to appreciate them while they're little. I know this is not particularly helpful and can make you feel guilty. Not today.

Instead maybe you need someone to address the issue of how to survive the hard days. Maybe you're worried about what kind of adult your strong willed child will turn out to be. Maybe you're afraid everything you try will backfire. Maybe you wonder if you're ruining your child. Maybe you cry yourself to sleep some nights because it feels like you're failing.

I've wondered all those things. I worried about each one. I've cried those tears.

There were days my husband came home to, "I don't know which one of us is going to survive this." In defeat, I lamented, "When she leaves our house she will surely say, 'I could never please that woman.'"

And after some tumultuous teenage years, I feared she wouldn't be able to get out of here fast enough and wondered (and doubted if I'm honest) if when she became an adult we would be good friends.

What do you do when you're tired of the fight? When nothing seems to work. When you're sick of giving the same lecture(s). When you wonder if anything will stick. When you've prayed all the prayers you can think of.

You phone a friend. You get very real and throw pride out the window. You confess. You cry if you need to. You ask advice. You receive support and prayers.

I know I am one of the lucky ones. We raised our kids in a large church where I had many friends. Some were peers, in the same stage of life. Some were a little further down the road, having raised their kids. All were an integral part of my survival. And Ally's too, I suppose.

I can't stress enough how much I needed someone to say:
"Keep going. It will sink in. Don't give up. You can do this."
When one who understands your family dynamic and has freedom to speak truth, defending the child says, "It's not easy living with the Brothers Wonderful."

Not to mention the friends who were especially hopeful:
 "Don't worry. She'll be a leader one day." (This, of course, is the nice way of referring to bossy. Don't ask me how I know or who she takes after.)
"She's a good kid. A really good kid and will be an amazing adult."

You see, sometimes when you're in the war you simply don't see it.
Until one day you do.

And you fall to your knees in praise because you know God came through.
That picture. Her words under it. Blows my mind.

At some point, one friend challenged me to give thanks in advance. Before I see the end product. Faith prayers that went (and continue) something like this:

"Father, I know you are writing the story of my child's life. You love her more than I do. You have a plan for her life. Your Word says you will finish the work you started (in her).* So even though I can't see it, I thank you now that you will do a beautiful work in her one day. Amen."

I now believe them to be pivotal and powerful.

Tuesday she will be 20 and she's amazing.
Or should I say God has done something amazing and beautiful in a young woman's life.
So many prayers spoken, begged at times. Now answered. Glorious!

The difficult, arguing, not always fun to be with child has been transformed. She's sweet, thoughtful, caring, funny and a delight to be with. Most importantly, her heart is soft. She apologizes, seeks reconciliation quickly, and is teachable. She constantly asks her parents for advice (praise hands).

She remembers her church-infused childhood with both fondness and some regret.
She has the best self-depracating sense of humor of anyone you've met.
She loves God and His Word and wants His plan for her life.
She senses a call to ministry, willing for it to be anything God decides.
She's leaving the details and timing in His hands.
She hopes for an upright, Christian husband to assist in ministry and share the gift of children and responsibility of raising the next generation up in the faith.

Scott and I marvel. God is and was in control the whole time. Changed lives are His specialty. He's always been doing something good even though we couldn't see it at all times. My friends say, "I'm not surprised. I knew it would happen. Of course she's awesome."

Which is why I implore you to cozy up next to older parents. The ones who see your kids' potentials when you're buried in the messy today. Those who will hold your hand, dry your tears, pray you through, affirm your efforts, and send you back in the battle, reminded, better equipped and fortified.

Here I'd like to name names, but I think you know who you are. Thank you. Thank you so much. Check out the fruit - I believe a good portion will be credited to you.

Lastly, to those of you who are ahead in the race. Look behind you and when you find an exasperated parent, approach with kindness and understanding, then walk with them. If I believe anything about God's will appropriated to individuals, I believe He has made His purpose clear for women.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2

He knows we are all connected and what we need. I just love Him so much for including these words in the Bible.

P.S. He's not only doing a work in your childrens' lives that will one day be revealed, but He is doing it in yours too. He changed this mother. She's not so naggy, suspicious and easily irritated. Oh, but she can still deliver an on-the-spot lecture like a champ!

So chin up and put your trust and hope in Him. 

If no one has told you lately - let me - you have a special kid who has many gifts to offer the world and that kid has a great mom.

*Phil. 1:6 "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

That Was Quick

Well, here we are at the beginning of our last week of Summer camp. Fastest summer I can remember. I haven't written in a few weeks because, well, it's been kind of nuts around here.  A real zoo, in fact. I sit in this window every morning and this is what I see.

Bears!

 

And deer. They practically let you walk right up to them.  

 

I don't know if I've mentioned some of the endless perks to our jobs up here, but one of my favorites is daily Chapel. Most of the time I listen through the speaker on my desk phone, but every once in a while I can sneak out of the office and actually go to the auditorium. A few weeks ago Crawford Lorrits was here with us. I love his style and his study. That week I put on a hat (incognito) and snuck in the back on my day off to get a much-needed message. So great!

Of course you've noticed that summer is slipping away. I've always been one who is eager for Fall but not so much this year. Since it's rarely super hot or humid up here in the mountains and the nights and mornings are gloriously cool, I don't wish it away. Especially because I know that we dwindle back down to a 40 person staff and only host guests on the weekends. My summer staff has been slowly going back to college for 2 weeks now. Sniff. In other words, it's way less busy and bustling. That's got its pros and cons for sure. Essentially though, I've loved this summer and will be sad to see it end.

Because of our insane schedules, we've barely had time to sit back and enjoy the view. That's coming up after Labor Day too. In the meantime, let's just pause a moment and take it in.

Sometimes you just have to find a beautiful place to sit and be quiet. These are a few of my favorite spots.

As if adding a new member to our growing family, baby Adeline Grace (see gratuitous pic), wasn't a big enough event for us to marvel at, this other little thing happened last week.

Our baby girl graduated from the Word of Life Bible Institute in Schroon Lake. I was introduced to WOL when I was 18 and our brand new pastor suggested I attend. I remember wondering, "Why would I do that? Will it make me a nun?" Oh, youth.

I won't tell the story of how I got there today but suffice it to say, Jesus stole my heart during my time at WOL and completely changed the course of my life and I couldn't be more thankful. I fell in love with His Word, the Bible, and His people. I surrendered my will and promised to follow His ways for all of my days. Best decision I ever made. 

Later we annually sent or took our kids to WOL Camp every summer but didn't even consider that they would follow in my footsteps and attend the BI. My emotions can't handle (aka - I weep) that all three of our children now have the same foundation heading into adulthood. Isn't that just like God? He blesses us beyond what we can imagine (Eph. 3:20, 21). 

Back to our CAMP-of-the-WOODS perks, our kids always have a job when they are here. Now that Ally's l9, she can run the grill at the TeePee. No complaints from her. I'm sure it's her work ethic or the fact that she can eat all the fries and mozzarella sticks she wants. Whatever.

 

As sort of a graduation/we know you need to get away present, the other night we put her on a train to spend a week with her brothers. First stop, Chicago and the big city, then on to Indianapolis for baby love. 

Gotta love public transportation. It's cheap and convenient. We were both a smidge nervous about her travelling alone all night, until we saw some of my people waiting for the same train. Phew.

Still, I texted Scott and Ben to tell them she was on the train but scared.

Feel the love. 

Happy last week of Summer everyone!

There Are No Shortcuts To Lasting Growth

I like to read autobiographies and biographies. For some reason unknown to me, I mostly read them in the summer. I'm not sure when this started but it's been a pattern for some years now. When my kids were being raised up I insisted they read at least one missionary biography every summer. These were the heroes I wanted to put before them. They were mine too.

I have expanded my interest and will pretty much read anything recommended to me. We can learn so much from someone's story. If nothing else, how to be a student of our own. That inspires me.

This summer's first selection is Never Broken by Jewel. She's a popular singer/songwriter. I've likely heard a few of her songs on the radio but to be honest I'm not very familiar with her music. I picked up the book because I learned that her family was the subject of a Netflix show I got interested in last year. Alaska, The Last Frontier.

Her story is so heart wrenching I can't put the book down. This particular passage has my attention.

"Great survivors have the ability to yield, adapt, give. This stopped me in my tracks. My life was not teaching me to yield, it was teaching me to cover up, protect, harden. I felt a panic. Hardening was the opposite of yielding. I walked home deep in thought and wrote in my book, things that don't bend break. This lyric has stayed with me my whole life, reincarnated in many songs. It made such an impression on my soul.

Slow growth meant thoughtful growth. Thoughtful growth meant conscious choices...hard wood grows slowly. If I wanted to grow strong and last, and not be brittle or broken easily, I had a duty to make decisions that were not just good in the moment but good for long-term growth. I would not let myself drink or do drugs because that was a quick fix to escape an uncomfortable feeling. The better thing was to get to the root of what I was feeling. It meant solutions had to be the right ones for long-term happiness - there were no shortcuts. I could not use drugs to numb, I could not use anorexia or bulimia to lose weight, and it also meant not using cynicism to cover my real feelings of anxiety or vulnerability. In a world of cool, casual, hip, and snarky, I knew if I indulged in these feelings, I would sink to the bottom of my life like a stone. I had to respond to my life with vulnerability, sensitivity, honesty, because they were my only real defenses in this dangerous endeavor called surviving life. I vowed to try to remember to take the time to grow slowly. To take the time to make notes and study. To stay in my body even when I was in pain. 

I have summoned this motto repeatedly in my life. It helped me...with countless decisions that shaped not just the kind of artist but, more important, the kind of human I would become, as well as the kind of longevity I would have."

I highlighted the sentences that really struck me. I mean, seriously. Where was that kind of self-awareness when I was in my late teens/early twenties? I regret that it was nowhere to be found. One poor, pathetic decision after the next was more of my story. I had no real forward thinking strategies in place. Present choices were not being made with the desired future in mind.

I think this particular portion jumped off the page because I have a daughter at this very same stage of life. How could I not ask myself if we have trained her in wisdom such as this?

Will she know what could cause her to sink to the bottom of her life like a stone and avoid it? Does she know how to make decisions that are not just good for the moment but are best for long term growth? Will she be present enough and hopeful enough to stay in her pain, considering it is part of becoming the kind of person she aspires to be? Or will she self-medicate, run the way the culture around her is running, not giving much thought to a deeper, better life?

I agree that slow growth is lasting growth. In a world of quick results and instant gratification, this will take some self-discipline for people of every age. This is why the practice of sitting down every day in a quiet space to read my Bible, talking and listening to the One who created me and has a good plan for my life, who loves me no matter what, is the most important thing I can do to grow.

A slower pace is really where it's at. Being able to read the road signs posted all around my life requires alertness, paying close attention both to who I am and who God is. This is not acheived by flitting about from one activity, one noise to another.

You'd better believe I have read the above paragraphs to my girl. We've discussed them probably longer than she cared to. She didn't roll her eyes though, which is major progress! I want her to benefit now from what took me decades to nail down (slow growth is lasting growth). This is the major calling of my life. I don't think we can talk too much about important things to our kids. My number one go-to parenting verses shows that God thinks so too:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Dt. 6:4-7)

That's a lot of talking. Good thing that comes easy for us Burtis's. Diligence I can do. One of the gifts of raising the next generation is that we can teach them to avoid our mistakes, learn from them and choose better. God makes promises we can count on. I have seen one of my favorites come true in living color. When we are faithful to live according to His Word, He will change the course of generations.

A do-over perhaps and I am so grateful for it.

I'm only about half way through Jewel's book. I hope by the end I read that she has found the truth of the Gospel and accepted it as her own. Man's wisdom can only go so far in the pursuit of a meaningful life but one lived by the wisdom of God is what lasts for eternity.

PS. You should really read someone's story.

A Few Good Men

This week we celebrated an anniversary. I wrote him a love note on one of our many leftover, unused wedding invitations I still have. He brought me roses at work. Small tokens of a big love. I couldn't be more grateful that God didn't let me marry the last few guys I dated. Seriously. Makes me thankful for prayers that were answered with a NO. He does know best.

Twenty six years of marriage. How in the world? Sure doesn't seem like more than a quarter of a century, but then again it does. We've settled into a very comfortable, secure rhythm of love and commitment that takes years to acheive. Don't quit too soon, young marrieds. The good stuff comes with years.

It is no coincidence when I picked up my Bible early the morning of our special day, I would read the first few chapters of Job. Look how he was described:

There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. (v.1)

Behind the scenes where God lives, a conversation with Satan occurred. The snake was looking for an opportunity to show God that His true followers only loved Him because He blessed them with a good life...

And the Lord said to Satan, 'Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?' (v. 8)

I don't know about you, but I sure would like God to describe me like that. The drama-filled story continues - you should read it.

As I read the familiar verses and felt Job's pain of bad news upon bad news and loss upon loss, stunned at his unwavering faith in God, both when He gives and when He takes away, I couldn't help but think of my own husband.

Scott can easily be described as Job was. Easily. He is blameless (unless, of course I blame him for something that technically I did). He is upright. He lives by wisdom. No drama. Fun yes, foolishness none. He fears God with the utmost reverence. He turns away from evil. I'm not talking about avoiding those who smoke, drink or chew and go with girls who do. He chooses to stay away from anything that might dishonor God, his family and the church, even in the smallest of decisions. He doesn't flirt with anything that might grieve the Holy Spirit. He will never tell you this, but I've seen him live through some seasons of loss, pain, confusion and silence, and just like Job, Scott did not sin or charge God with wrong. (v.22)

I realize with the freedom of writing my own blog I could blather on proving what a great man Scott Burtis is, but what would be the value for you?

Instead, I want to speak to those of you who are raising boys and young men.

Last weekend I spoke at a women's retreat here at Camp of the Woods. I told the story of how my beloved firstborn Drew pursued, dated and married his wife Brittany. I often tell it because it is extraordinary in my opinion. So unlike the norm of our current culture. Not the only way of course, but a darn good one!

You see, he purposed in his heart (in advance) two things. 1. To not throw the powerful words 'I love you' around until he could back them up with a committment, a promise to love her and only her forever, with an engagement ring.

2. In a bold effort to not take what didn't belong to him before marriage and to protect their purity individually and as a couple, he didn't kiss her until she said yes to the proposal. Two years they dated. No I love you. No kissing. Self control. Delayed gratification. It was countercultural and inspiring. (Very Romans 12:1, 2 - look it up.)

Without fail, whenever I tell this to a group of women, some come up to me and say, "That story about your son is so beautiful. Do you think anyone else is raising sons like that? Will there be a principled young man for my daughter(s) to be loved by?"

It's a good question. Of course it is happening. But there certainly doesn't seem to be a large supply. I'd like to see more. I pray for God to bring this kind of man to the young women I know who are asking and waiting for a blameless and upright man to come into their lives.

Makes me want to throw that challenge out to you. Raise one. Raise more than one if you can. You can do it. But you won't do it by accident.

Model Biblical virture first and then train him how to reach it. Blameless and upright. Fearing God and shunning evil. If you want amazing results, you have to raise the bar up past what is normal, easy and status quo pointing as high as Biblical standards describe.

Convince him the benefits of a blameless, upright life far outweigh the price of slowing down, honoring God first then honoring every girl as one created in God's image for a great purpose. This is done by asking an important question before every decision, "Is there wisdom in this?"

As our favorite preacher Andy Stanley has said, "You can't expect extraordinary kids by raising them just like every one else." Amen.

I sincerely pray for young parents to be intentional in parenting. Stay a step ahead of your kids so you aren't taken by surprise at what's coming next. Recognize that you are raising an adult. Always keep before you the end product that you are aspiring to, and let that guide your decisions, boundaries and expectations.

With constant prayer and instruction from the Bible and the influence and support of wise people you admire, you can raise the next Job. What a gift he will be to the world.

One more thing - just in case. If there are any young men reading this, I throw a different challenge out to you. Become a Job. Don't wait for your friends to agree it's a good idea. You do it. You lead. Stand out and be extraordinary. Love God and turn away from evil. Step up your game. Reach for holiness (be blameless and upright) instead of lingering near the line of 'how little do I have to do and be and still be ok with God?'.

One thing I've always said about Scott Burtis is this: "What you see is what you get. He's the same guy at church as he is at home."

Blameless. Upright. Fears God. Turns away from evil. Continues to trust God when the life he enjoys falls apart for a season.

My sons are blessed to have been raised by a man like Job. I hope yours are too.

The Beach - 10 Years Later

Once upon a time there was a young family. Through the years, these parents took their three kids on an annual vacation to the beach. Myrtle Beach, to be precise. Twelve consecutive years of memories made. Eventually other events took priority and the kids grew up. 

Lo and behold, ten years pass with no beach vacations, when the parents have a brilliant idea. "Even though they are grown, two in college and one married, maybe they might still want to spend a week with their parents and each other in the South. In March."

Much to the parents' surprise and delight, the answer was yes! Some very generous and kind friends offered us their beach house. We hit the road a few weeks ago and this is what it looked like.

backseat shenanigans - brothers will always pester younger sisters

After a 14 hour drive, it took us approximately 15 minutes to empty the car and get ourselves outside.

It seems we had enough to satisfy our sweet tooths (teeth?)

Something on Drew, Ben and Ally's to-do list was to visit one of the many souvenir shops they frequented as children. And take a picture.

Which led me to dig this out. Turns out it was taken on our last trip. Did I mention it was 10 years ago?

waaaaaa!

God gave us day after day of abundant sunshine and warm temps.

This is pretty much what we did all day.

This guy here got some new sunglasses.

For a whole day I kept looking at him and wondering who he reminded me of. I couldn't rest until I figured it out.

Do you see it too?  Any guesses?


Ahhhhhhh yes......Dr. Nefario from Despicable Me.....of course!


Because Brittany is officially a Burtis now and certainly fits in with the family nonsense - she made her father-in-law a friend.

Do you see it now? Imagine the white lab coat.

You should really pray for this patient man. He doesn't deserve us.

Yay for beach toys!

We got in trouble for leaving this hole (which was much deeper than shown here). Apparently a deer was euthanized just the week earlier after falling in a similar hole. They are illegal on the beach. It's an official ordinance. Who knew?
PS..turtles can fall in too - which is also frowned upon.

                   Gorgeous sunrises...for those who got up early enough to see them.

Some, who will remain unnamed, even after years of experience with sunburns still prefer to learn the hard way, even though they are gently reminded (not nagged) to use sunscreen.

Natural consequences

Chocolates do not make that mistake and can stay in the sun longer. Mocking their mother's hat, however, is completely unnecessary.




This is what we did one day to keep the vanillas occupied.

I asked for one picture here under the pier - just one - and this is what I got. If you know these people, you probably know which one (think blue shirt, black shorts) started this shenanigan.

Every night we played games, all sorts. So much fun. Endless ridiculous humor.

But the best part of the week - the very best thing of all - also happened around this table.

Before we arrived, Scott gave us an assignment. We were to take turns giving a family devotion. One night per person. Can I just tell you what a gift this was?

We sat around that table for almost an hour each evening after dinner, everyone with their own Bible, discussing and commenting on the content chosen by the speaker. So many important things said. Weaknesses were confessed, struggles shared, while hope in God and His Word was declared as the ultimate goal.

Night after night God gave us a glimpse into the work He is doing in each of the hearts and lives of our children. Amazing.

Fellow moms who want to raise awesome kids, may I encourage you to make dinner a priority in your home? No electronics. No tv. Just full on eye contact and important topics intentionally brought to the table with the expectation that everyone participates. 

Insist on it. This is where the fruit we are hoping will appear in their adult lives begins growing.

Hard times will come to all, but a firm foundation has been laid that will give them something to always stand on if it is chosen.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in the truth. 3 John 4

                       (and that they still want to go on vacation with their parents)