Rich

Here we are again...one more week until Thanksgiving. The most wonderful time of the year for sure. I try to honor each holiday with intention, but since reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts at least three times in the last five years or so - every day is Thanksgiving. Minus the turkey and pies.

So how does one make it special when already in the habit of deliberate daily giving thanks? I have journals full of lists of praise for provisions and experiences gifted by God. What else?

Prayer, Bible study, and a good book should give me what I'm looking for.

Philippians 4:19 "My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of God."

Perhaps Philippians' "riches of God" coupled with Ephesians 1:3-10, God has "blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ..."

What are the spiritual riches, eternal and unseen that are more valuable than the richest objects or experiences on earth? A new list!

To start:

He chose me
to be holy and blameless in His sight
In love, He adopted me into His family
He has freely given me abundant grace
In Him I have redemption through His blood (the only way to become right with God),
forgiveness of sin
in accordance with the riches of God's grace
that He lavished on us
Love
Joy
Peace
Christ's righteousness now mine
Hope for heaven
Intimacy with God
Good works prepared to fulfill my purpose

I'm rich! Rich in all the above (which is just scratching the surface).

Let's have some fun with this. What else am I rich in?

Currently-

snowflakes
trees - covered in snow
mountains
icicles
I'm rich in nature!

Friends who
love me and my family
ask hard questions
encourage and tell truth
sharpen me
who give up a Saturday morning
to shower my engaged daughter with gifts and marital advice
and come early
and bring food
and set up
and stay late
and clean up
I'm rich in friends!

praying parents
faithful, loving husband
grown kids who share with Scott and me:
love for Jesus
participation in family traditions
laughter
familiar jokes
a long history of memories and same experiences
daughters-in-law who love Jesus and my sons with gusto
I'm rich in family!

pastors who preach the Word
and pray for us
a Sunday School class to teach
younger women to mentor
Biblical worship to express this thanks
I'm rich in church!

I'm rich in bibles and books and sweaters and mugs (seasonal, of course) and shoes and table linens and artificial trees covered in white lights and food and Christmas music, movies & books....

I think I'm on to something. This is like giving thanks on steroids!

Not convinced? Psalm 84:11 says, "No good thing will He withhold from those whose walk is blameless." This cannot be true. Are you thinking this? Are you mentally listing out all the things the Lord has failed to provide for you? I am too. But guess what - I've learned this: If I pray for it, and God doesn't provide it, it means it wasn't a good thing or it wasn't a good thing for me right now. But even deeper than this simple platitude is the idea of 'withholding'. I read in John 3:34 that "God gives the Spirit without limit." Without limit! In other words, God does not withhold Himself from us. We can have all of Him that we want in an unlimited way."*

I've always wanted the most gifts. Excuse me while I go get a new journal.
But not just a list. If I'm rich, then the right thing to do is give it away - share the abundance of riches with others.  Advent is right around the corner. Stay tuned on how this plays out.

Wanna Join me?

And Happy Thanksgiving!

*My favorite book from 2018 - Seated With Christ by Heather Holleman

The Other Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I walked into work today and declared to everyone in earshot, "Tomorrow is the day! We have to decide what we are doing, what we are fasting from, etc." It was my joy when one said, "I knew Lent hadn't started yet, because Angela didn't tell us!" In addition, an email came today from a sweet friend, "What are WE doing for Lent?" Yes, it's time.

For years now as my obsession with God grows ever deeper, celebrating the sacred holidays with gusto has become one of my great joys. If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know Advent is truly my most favorite time of the year. Taking a concentrated amount of time to reflect, meditate and act on the anticipation of the arrival of Jesus (both - the one that already happened and the one to come) has transformed my family's December. It enables us to live Romans 12:1, 2 - not conforming to the world, but being somewhat different in our approach. It's so good.

The 40 days before Easter, Lent, has also taken on new meaning and new prominence on my calendar. In fact, it may be in first place now. We are invited to the undertake the journey with Jesus and thereby prepare ourselves for the two big events that are the pillars of our belief system - the crucifixion and the resurrection.

Typically, these days and weeks should turn our minds to Jesus' ministry here on Earth, specifically leading up to His death on the cross to pay for the sin of mankind, purchasing salvation for all who place their trust in Him. We contemplate the darkness of those days, what it cost Jesus on our behalf (it wasn't pretty), how He suffered willingly, lovingly and ultimately culminate with a grand celebration of His resurrection. The day He rose from the dead, securing eternal life for those who believe! Proof that there is none like Him. While a somber period, the purpose of Lent does not stop at sadness and despair - it points us to the hope of the Resurrection and the day when we will see Him face to face.

Like Advent, Lent is a time to open the doors of our hearts a little wider and understand our Lord a little deeper, so that when Good Friday and eventually Easter comes, it is not just another day at church but an opportunity to receive the overflowing of graces God has to offer. 

Unlike Advent, which is more characterized by excitement and abundance, this is a more solemn season, meant to be a lament. One can't appreciate the light and the miracle of resurrection without spending a significant amount of time remembering the dark side, the sin, the pain, the rejection, the suffering, the death.

Approaching Easter Sunday as a one day celebration with little to no heart preparation is no longer an option for me (or my family who I insist accompany me on this journey). It's too important. If I want annual heart transformation and to present God with pure, meaningful worship, it's going to cost me something. I look forward to fasting. I look forward to denying self on purpose. I've seen the results and I need it again.

So here we are the day before. Time to decide how to make it real.

I guess you could consider this my yearly invitation for you, too, to open your calendar and heart a little wider to approach Easter, the holiday that sets Christians apart, and enter into a journey with Jesus. It's always more fun when you have company.

First, pray. Ask God what He has in mind for you.

This could look like so many things. Focused Bible readings (there is no shortage of printed and digital devotional guides), fasting from something you will truly miss daily, denying of self (when you miss it, you give trade that desire for prayer), and giving to the poor.

As I purge my soul of sin and self, I also empty our home of excess. What can I give away to benefit another (both money and stuff)?

Finally, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it (Deuteronomy 6). I am seeking to know the Greatest Story, the pillars of our faith, with greater familiarity and sharing it with others. It's never just for me.

If you've never done anything like this, explore some of the ideas above. Maybe it will be come the Most Wonderful Time of the Year for you too. Who doesn't want that?

If you have, share some ideas in the comments on my Facebook or Instagram. I love to learn from others. One of my Advent/Lent buddies, when I questioned him today said, "I want to exude so much  joy that people ask me what is wrong or right with me!" Yes!

I will be spending 10 of the 40 days in the Holy Land this Spring. I've been invited by some special friends and in reality by Jesus Himself - an offer I have dreamed of for years to draw near and learn, to walk where He walked, to see what He saw. I will be sure to share pictures and more importantly, the lessons I will learn.

Remember, we start tomorrow at dusk and conclude on Good Friday.

Bible reading, prayer
Confession of sin
Fasting
Giving to the poor

We can do this. We need to do this.

And like every spiritual effort, pass it to the next generation.

The Songs Matter

We've begun our fourth year in the empty nest. I think we're navigating it pretty well. We love it when our kids are home. We love it when we're just two. It's all good.

Except in December. Here's the problem. In order for all the traditions to happen, it takes a whole month. All the songs that need to be heard (usually in my car on the way to everywhere), all the movies that need to be watched (have I mentioned my extensive Christmas DVD collection?), all the books to be read (not enough days in December for that even if they were home), etc. cannot be observed when they are only home a day or so around The Big Day. It makes me whiney.

I knew last year was the final of its kind when Ben and Ally would be home for at least three weeks. Now they've joined their older brother and family whose time is limited since he became a grownup.

It's just not as much fun watching all The Santa Clause movies without their commentary and laughter. How can I read aloud their childhood Christmas books without the eye rolling and sighing as I giggle or cry through them? I miss hearing them sing with gusto (or falsetto in Ben's case) Karen Carpenter's endless glorious riffs.

Last and most important, I miss our daily Advent traditions which evolved with their maturing. 

What's an overachieving, overzealous, overenthusiastic, overexcited, overdramatic, overeverything mother supposed to do with that? How do we keep it going now that they are in their 20's?

In an Advent reading this week, the subject was the importance of the songs. The sacred songs of old. The ones we only listen to this time of year. You know the ones. They reflect the glory of the story. 

One of my expectations (ok, rules) for December in our home was that we ONLY listened to Christmas music. Nothing else. I still try to enforce this, but am quite sure it's not happening to my liking. 

So the other night Scott and I were driving home from our small group, enjoying some favorites. Songs I'm pretty sure no other normal kids were subjected to. The ones, frankly, that I discovered after coming to faith in Jesus as an older teenager. New to me and enchanting as a new believer. (Think Sandi Patty, Michael W. Smith, 4Him, the Carpenters)

While we were belting The Form of Man by Bryan Duncan (look it up if you don't know it-you'll thank me) and killing it by the way, a thought came to me: I'll send the kids a song everyday that they've listened to all their lives but am certain won't be found on their own playlists. Ones that will provoke a family memory - remind of a part of the Greatest Story - bring a smile and/or maybe even cause a moment of thanks and worship. 

Yes, brilliant!

I floated the idea to them. Of course there was a little sass (expected), but as usual, they agreed to their mother's latest shenanigans. (Side parenting note - just because they roll their eyes, make fun of you or push back a little doesn't mean you shouldn't try (or insist). Sometimes a little Italian guilt helps too.)

As I'm choosing a song each day, naturally it's doing a work in my heart too. I do expect to add some silly to the sacred selections but I mostly hope that one of the outcomes is that we each sing the song to the Lord. That it would stand out from the culture's holiday noise and distraction.

"The angels, as they sang their glory song that night, began the singing of of a glory song that would never end. God's people have penned and sung glory songs ever since. Whenever and wherever they gather, they sing together of the birth, the life, the death, the resurrection, the promises, the presence, 
the power, and the grace of Jesus. Around the world, the precious truths of God's most wonderful gifts to us, the gift of His Son." Starting with the angels who sang over the manger.

Later in the Bible, the book of Revelation, we hear those who've passed to heaven singing their glory songs with the angels. "One day we will join that multitude, no longer looking forward in hope but looking back with the security of redemption accomplished, and with the angels and the saints of old we too will sing glory songs about Jesus forever and ever."

Friends, do you see it? The first Advent the angels were singing. The second Advent we will join the angels. Right now we are both looking back to celebrate the first Advent of Jesus' coming to earth AND looking forward to celebrating the second Advent of Jesus' future return to earth. It's going to happen.

And did you see that amazing line up there? "...no longer looking forward in hope but looking back with the security of redemption accomplished."

Aaaahhhh! Security of redemption accomplished. The day we no longer need hope! I can't wait for that day. Can you?

Sing the glory songs. Make them your song.

 P.S. If you want me to send you my daily choice, I will! 

If you think I'm nuts, disregard!

*Quotes from O Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul David Tripp

Bringing Wonder Back

"What has captured the wonder of our hearts will control the way we live."

Wonder.

It's a Christmas word I think. You hardly hear or read it any other time of year. Some might consider it a fluffy, whimsical expression, but it always makes me stop and consider what fills me with wonder.

When I read the quote above this morning out of the Advent devotional I bought for the important men in my life, something stirred.

The author cautioned that the Grand Story of Jesus entering our world to rescue us can become familiar. Familiar enough to not find wonder it anymore. God forbid.

I looked up the word familiar. And by 'looking up', I mean I asked my phone what it means (I'm so techie).

Familiar - well known from a long or close association; a close friendship; intimate.
OR
- common.

Oh. A choice. The first definition is wonder-ful. I like it. I want it. The second makes me think complacent, unimpressed, unnoticed, or worse - bored.

Paul David Tripp writes, "You are familiar with the story of the gospel of Jesus Christ because the love of God has been lavished on you." Whoa. Let's just take that in a second. Feel free to re-read. I'll wait for you.

That's the good familiar. Read on.

"But familiarity often does bad things to us. Often when we become familiar with things, we begin to take them for granted. When we are familiar with things, we tend to quit examining them. Often when we are familiar with things, we quit noticing them. When we are familiar with things, we tend not to celebrate them as we once did. Familiarity tends to rob us of our wonder. And here's what's important about this; what has captured the wonder of our hearts will control the way we live."

Is it possible for the Greatest Story, familiar to most of us, become unwonder-ful? It certainly is. I shudder at the thought. We must make it our job to work hard to prevent it from becoming so. We mustn't let ourselves or our children and grandchildren miss the Wonder.

My prayer this first day of Advent:

"Father, may the Story I will trace every December day, Your Story, make me fall on my knees afresh in worship. Open my eyes to Your Love in ways I've not discovered yet or worse-forgotten. Help me to notice You in every seemingly ordinary, mundane, unimportant thing I see and experience. Make familiar things new - like the songs and movies and books annually revisited. Don't let me miss one detail. Grip my heart with the wonder of your character and plan and Biblical truths of the incarnation of Jesus. May the extravagance of your Gift overshadow every other delight of the season. Amen."

You can pray it too. I hope you do.

PS. Nerdy detail - Prayer verbs! Verbs are so good. Live the verbs.

Quotes from O Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul David Tripp

50 - Full of Surprises

I had a birthday last week. A Big One. It turned out to be a much fuller week than I expected. Part of me wanted to ease into the new year without much fanfare because, well, it's 50. No one really wants to be 50. But there's a louder part of my heart that loves any occasion for presents and frosting to come my way.

Expectations can really...how shall I say...affect a marriage. Even an (almost) 28-year-old relationship where one spouse should know better. Warning if you're new to this blog, you're going to love and feel very sorry for my husband by the end and I hope we can still be friends.

Based on history of the previous two BIG decade birthdays since our wedding day, I didn't exactly drudge up the past, I just voiced my hopes anew. You've got to have hope, right? This happened quite a few weeks ago (I like to provide time to prepare).

A - "Don't you want to ask me what I want for my birthday this year?"
S - "What do you want for your birthday this year?"
A - "I'm not sure, but I want it to be different from all the others. Whatever you do or buy, I want it to scream 'I know my wife and this is an important birthday!'"
S - eye contact, but hard to read expression. Something like, "Awesome, no pressure there."

Fast forward to The Big Day. I woke up, grabbed a cute mug and headed to my chair for quiet time with Jesus. I found a card and three gifts - wrapped in wrapping paper - not just thrown in a gift bag! I let myself be hopeful. I opened the card and it was loving and beautiful as it is every year.

When Scott got up, I opened the gifts. They were perfect. Not big and flashy, nothing screaming 'This is a BIG Birthday!", but appreciated for sure.

We went to work. Our young co-workers giving hugs and happy birthdays all morning. We ate a cake that our very thoughtful and generous friends drove two hours to bring me the day before.

As the afternoon progressed a common question arose, "What are you doing for your birthday today?" Since there was no word on dinner plans. I had to ask.

A - "Was I supposed to take something out for dinner? Or are we doing something?"
S - "Uh, sure, what do you want to do?"
In A's head - "What do I want to do? Not plan this day, that's what I want to do."
A - "So you don't have any plans?"
S - "You want to go down the mountain and go out to dinner?"
A - "Either that or I can scrounge around and make us something."
S - "Ok, let's go. Decide where you want to eat."
In A's head - "Excellent, just what I was hoping for."

Later, on the way, I say, "I got an email this week that prescription sunglasses are on sale - maybe I could see how much they cost and order a pair." He likes this idea.

I resign myself that this is what 50 year olds (with brand new bifocals) do on their birthday. He, or should I say our HSA account, sprung for the sunglasses. It was a thrilling moment. 

S - "Where should we eat? How about Panera - we have a gift card?"
A - "Sounds perfect."
I mean, excellent - let's use the card I was given for Christmas. Exactly what I would've picked.
S - "We can walk around Hobby Lobby too if you want!"

You have to love this man.

Later that night as I listened to his contented sleep breathing, I had a choice to make. What does a mature, hopefully somewhat godly woman do? Let it go, enabling him to think the day was a success? That's what an unselfish person would do, right? Or do I honestly tell him I was hoping for a little (ahem) more?

On and off the next two days, because of my commitment and duty to help him continue to be the great man he is and for the benefit of all the young men he influences (and their women), I gently shared a few things with him. It was for the greater good.

A - "Are there going to be any more presents? I love the three you got me, but I see they stemmed from our recent trip to Utah (translation: not your idea). Does this mean you had no ideas for me prior to the trip?"
S - "You don't like them?" Brilliant diversion. Puts it on me.
A - "I don't want to be a jerk, but I want you to know this birthday didn't seem any more special than the others."
S - "What? We had your favorite cake and went out to dinner."
A - "You didn't provide the cake and I made all the decisions for dinner."
Awkward end of conversation.

Brace yourselves, there's more.

Fast forward a few days. A full weekend in Syracuse was planned. Birthday breakfasts I'll tell you about later and helping our son Drew, Brittany and The Cuteness move into their new house. Last thing on the agenda was all of us going out to dinner.

Without any suspicion, we walked into a restaurant filled with about 30 of my favorite friends (minus a few who couldn't make it), and my daughter who had been avoiding me.

I was almost speechless. It should have been a "Go away from me, I'm a sinful woman" moment, but I was too happy. Turns out Scott does love me and CAN DO IT!

I wish you could have heard his choked up thank you to each who came to help him make his wife feel special. Mission accomplished. What a champ!

After almost twenty eight years together, he totally surprised me and remains quite proud of himself as of this writing. And he should be, especially after all he took without response from his wife for two days.

Can you imagine the gloating that has been taking place ever since? It couldn't happen to a more deserving birthday girl.

Speaking of deserving, here's one last confession because I'm nothing if not brutally honest and because I actually did go there.

When I didn't hear from two of my three grown children on The Big Day, I may or may not have suggested that this was on Scott too.

A - "Did you notice I didn't hear from unnamed child #1 and unnamed child #3 today? You know how the kids always call you and send you a card for your birthday? Do you think that's a coincidence? It's not. It's because I'm the one reminding and prompting. You should be training them how to honor their mother on her birthday."

I know what you're thinking, "Who says that?" Well, I guess I do.

Turns out both delinquents were avoiding me so as not to blow the secret. Isn't that adorable though?
Oh, I cringe.

Can I get an amen for forgiveness? Ha! Handed out in buckets by the most patient and gracious man who is so enjoying telling this story. Did I mention his sense of humor? Took none of my shenanigans to heart. Oh to be more like him.

Lastly and more importantly, what I really want you to know is that God showed up in living color last weekend too, proving once again that He knows me, He sees me, and He will respond when my heart becomes forgetful and shaky. This time He used the sweet gesture of my wonderful, caring husband and the love of longtime friends.

For sure, this has become a benchmark, line drawn in the sand, new direction for a new decade kind of birthday but not for the reasons you think.

I'll save that portion of this story for Part 2 coming up soon.

Worth It

I dig sacred holidays. Any time I can pay attention to Jesus, the Bible and God's ongoing plan for mankind, sign me up. Today is Palm Sunday. The end of my 40 day fast (hello coffee, I've missed you so) and the beginning of the most important week (my opinion) of the calendar year if you're a Christian.

Each time reading through the Bible, when I get to the Triumphal Palm Sunday entry of Jesus into Jerusalem, I cheer and imagine a palm branch in my hand while shouting "Hosanna!" as He rides in. Just as quickly, I say, "I'm not ready!" because I don't want to read on to His last week of suffering, betrayal and death.

This morning's devotional reading put my mixed emotions into words "As we rehearse His messianic entrance on this last Sunday of Lent, we sing with exuberance and we wince with foreboding."* Indeed.

Forty days ago I wrote about fasting for Lent. Along with my family, some of you shared with me what you'd be resisting in your own journey. I love that. Maybe it won't be revealed to us immediately, but as I sent in a family text yesterday, it's time to now stop and evaluate the last 40 days as much as we can. Answer a few questions:

What has God revealed about Himself in the space we made for Him to do just that?
What has He revealed about us?
Has there been growth/change? 
What will I do with what I've discovered? 

I think it's good to share these findings with each other as we spur one another on in good works and devotion to Jesus. That said, pull up a chair and let me share mine with you.

I believe God graciously and honestly showed me the following:

I can do absolutely no good thing without Jesus' help and the Holy Spirit's filling. My first response to pretty much anything is usually tainted (by any number of things). I have no pure thought or motive on my own. Jumping to conclusions without facts, cutting remarks disguised by a joke, not giving the benefit of the doubt, ignoring the plank in my eye while highlighting the speck in someone else's. Truly every thought, word and deed needs to be transformed by God to be of any value whatsoever.

I am the most self-centered, self-focused, selfish person I've ever met. Self, self, self - blech! I was given fresh eyes to see this over and over again. Six weeks of me first, judging others, craving and seeking approval and admiration from men instead of pointing to Jesus, etc. Oh the pride, yuck! I could barely stand myself. Honestly, I don't want to see this most of the time, but I invited God to reveal and He delivered, remaining close by as I processed the horror of what was clear in the mirror's reflection.

In light of all the above, God isn't mad at me. I heard it said once that God's intention is for us to see the depth of our sin, acknowledge it, tell Him we're sorry and move on. He never expects perfection because we can't achieve that. There is always forgiveness (1 John 1:9) so we don't have to worry about how God will respond to our confessions. This is good news, friends! A 40-day Lent (or any) fast should never end in defeat. God is for us!

My annual goal here is always transformation, not just to wallow in the fact that I am a weak sinner or to feel bad about self (another form of self-preoccupation - insert throw up emoji), but rather to invite God to make me aware and change me. Oh I pray He has, even a little will be a vast improvement.

Some of you tender hearts are going to want to soothe me and say, "Don't be so hard on yourself, Jesus loves you. You're doing just fine and need to lighten up." Thank you for your kindness, but I believe when God reveals what's deep down in us, it is our obligation to look at it honestly. We need to take our sin seriously, be sorry for it and confess. This is the way to freedom from sin and I'm grateful for it.

Repentance is quickly becoming a forgotten concept in our tolerant culture. May it never be! Repentance is a gift from God. It is the path back to close intimate relationship with Him when our self-driven passions and decisions have resulted in an uncomfortable distance between Him and us. One thing you can be sure of - any rupture in our closeness with God is on us. He never moves. He is always wanting us to draw near. It's us who pull away.

We accumulate bad habits and pick up baggage along the way sometimes without realizing it. This is why regular attention to soul care - fasting and purging - is such an important spiritual discipline. Doesn't always feel great during the process, but there is a cleanliness and peace that replaces the corrosion. Worth it.

So as we near Good Friday and the remembrance of Jesus' unfathomable pain and suffering on our behalf to purchase our salvation, stay in that uncomfortable moment for a while. Stay for as long as it takes you to acknowledge the sin you are currently in and remember the state of hopelessness due to sin you were in when He found you.

Offer a fresh confession of current sins, gratitude for Jesus' sacrifice, and receive His abundant forgiveness and mercy. Then repent and don't look back.

Just as sure as Friday is on the horizon, remember, so is Resurrection Sunday.
This week is going to end very well. Hallelujah!



PS. The top pic - so cute, right? On the back of each card** is a daily prayer, Scripture to read, encouragement or activity of some sort for each of the 40 days leading up to Easter. Today I turned the last one over and hi-fived God. Can you make it out?

"Have coffee with or call a friend or family member and share with them something that God has been teaching you during this Lent season."

Get it- I had been fasting from coffee. Ha! God is good and funny (insert Praise hands!). I love Him so much. He is worth everything and amazingly, He feels the same way about me and you. Thus, Easter.








*Living the Christian Year by Bobby Gross
**Available at www.allgoodthingscollective.com

Big Day Tomorrow

Wait - where did January go? It seems we haven't met here in over a month. It must be because we are all busy enjoying this winter beauty. I mean, come on. Or we've been sick. Or busy. Oh well, it doesn't matter now - we're back together!

Today I'm getting excited about tomorrow. No, not for Valentine's Day. I mean red is usually my favorite color and I love chocolate, but it's not my favorite holiday. Not by a long shot.

Lent, the 40 Day adventure leading up to Easter begins Wednesday. Seems early to be planning for Easter, but I don't write the calendar. I'm just a player who loves the sacred holidays more and more as I get older and learn more about Jesus.

As I read and study up more on these holidays and celebrating them appropriately and with increasing enthusiasm, I learn something new every year. It seems "many Christians are rediscovering fasting along with other long-neglected disciplines that can deepen and enrich" our faith."

"Christian fasting is the voluntary denial of something for a specific period of time for a specific purpose...a restriction that creates space for God....There is no Lent without fasting."

After the abundance of celebrating Christmas, we plunge into a fasting, a stripping, a thinning of self (and some of its desires) to make room for God. "We abstain and resist and refocus our attention on God, who is our life."

I love this.
I need this.
I dread it some too (because I am weak).
But I always benefit.

Last Spring I fasted from social media. I argued with God in prayer for a full 20 minutes I think. He won. But really I won. Talk about created space that God could fill with Himself. Win Win!

Scott and I often embark on the same fast. This year will be no different. Food fasts, while most Biblical, aren't "hard" enough now that we have completed Daniel fasts and others.

The point is to create a gap, a hunger, a hole that God can fill anew and our affections will be turned toward Him instead, directing our thoughts to linger on Jesus' great sacrifice of love.

Desserts - nope.
Bread - nope.
Eating out - do you know where we live?
Having just finished another Whole 30, none of these feel like enough. We just did it and wasn't for a sacred reason.

What, Lord? What do you think?
Oh.
I'm not so sure about that.
I mean, it's still winter.
It's cold up here in the mountains for many more weeks.
What will I hold every morning?
The smell!
40 days?!?!
It's going to hurt.
Oh right. That's the point.
Scott says yes. Geez, that guy.

So now I'm going to indulge one last time before tomorrow.

Lest you think I engage begrudgingly, oh no. This is my pleasure. My privilege. And after the headache subsides and I beat my body into submission, God will have good things for me,
 and I. Want. Them. More. Than. I. Want. Coffee.

As always, we've twisted our kids' arms, I mean, invited our adult children to join us here. I'm amazed at what came through in the family text last night and today.

Sports on tv.
Netflix.
Social media.

They get it. Transformation is on the horizon. Just like Easter is.

"When we fast during Lent, we identify with Jesus in a tangible way. The weeks slowly build in intensity. The more that we can enter into His sufferings and death in that final, holy week, the more we will know both our own great sin and need and God's great goodness and love."

Don't forget to read and meditate on the Bible. This is how He reveals Himself. Quiet yourself in the presence of God in order to take an honest look at yourself. This can be unflattering and discouraging, but take heart, "we confess to God who loves us and who wants to transform us, who describes Himself as gracious, merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from punishment."

You have nothing to fear.
He's not mad at you.
He is for you.
He wants you.
He sent His Son to free you from sin's grip and give you hope.
One day He'll send Him back again to get us.

We will rise with Him.
Resurrection Day indeed.

This is the stuff of sacred holidays.
Don't cheat yourself and make it about the bunny.
There is so much more.



 *all quotes from Living the Christian Year by Bobby Gross

Things That Need To Stick

When it became apparent that family vacation wasn't going to happen this Spring, a new idea was needed. The kids' school, work and sports schedules did not line up, so Mama got crafty. Thank God for a husband who (eventually) warms up to my schemes.

Since we each had a few days off for Easter, I calculated the half way point. Erie, PA. Well, who doesn't want to go to Erie, PA for a weekend? So tropical. The plan went like this: Ben would take a train from Chicago to Drew and Brittany in Indianapolis, Scott and I would pick Ally up at Word of Life, then we would each drive 6 hours to check in to adjoining hotel rooms (Scott's treat) for two nights. Glamorous, right?

The thing is, Christmas was the last time all of my favorite personalities were in one room. AND I have no future date when that will happen next. AND we have a baby in the family now. She's growing too quickly and lives so far away we are afraid she won't know us. So desperate times call for desperate measures. Also, we are addicted to daily photos and pictures our thoughtful daughter-in-law provides. (Yes, I said daily. She's the best.) We just needed to get our hands on her.

Road trip here we come.
I love how Brittany gets me. She sent these from her vantage point. One with the caption "Brothers". I couldn't help but notice the size difference. Just like their Dad and Uncle. The oldest doesn't mean the tallest.

This face!

Dinner time was always a priority when these kids were growing up. It still is.




Not just because of the food.
Though there's that.

We all had a blast with Addy Grace. Did you see what Pop did here?

My job was holding her during morning nap time so her parents could get ready for the day. After that we just fought over her.

 

Next up, the hotel pool. I wondered what we looked like to the others in the room as all of us hovered around her and pushed her back and forth in this little jig I picked up. Yes, it seems we've become those grandparents.

 She has the cutest parents.

 

Another thing I realized is how easy it is to let your grandchild do things you would never have let your own children do. Like sit in the middle of the table until the food arrives.

But she's so cute!

 

And has crazy Uncle Ben hair!

Adjoining rooms was the best idea.

 

We could do this after the baby was asleep.

But probably my favorite part of the weekend is not pictured here. Some things need to be sacred. 

We called a meeting in our room. One showed up with his Bible and told the others to bring theirs. At this point in time all three of our kids are in school studying the Bible. We love when they want to tell us what they are learning. Essentially how they are making their faith their own, apart from us. This is a very good thing.

Since it was Good Friday and we would not be spending Easter Sunday in the same church, Scott led us in a Communion service right here in our room. It was special to say the least. Family time does not trump important holiday traditions.

I came wanting them to know what I have been learning while reading through the Bible this year. It's amazing to me that each time through, new treasures emerge that I didn't catch the last time. It is too good to keep to myself.

The context is way back in the Old Testament when the people of Israel were approaching the end of their time in the desert (40 years) and entrance into the Promised Land. Moses was giving instructions on how they are to live in this new land. The land God brought them to so He could start again with a people He would call His own.

The Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the people of Israel, and tell them to make tassels

 on the corners of their garments throughout their generations, 

and to put a cord of blue on the tassel of each corner.

And it shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the LORD, to do them, not to follow after your own heart and your own eyes, which you are inclined to whore after. 

So you shall remember and do all my commandments, and be holy to your God. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt to be your God.

 I AM the Lord your God."*

I love so much about this passage that comes at the end of a long list of instructions. First - an accessory akin to jewelry!

But more importantly, a visual reminder to remember. It's so easy to forget how far God has brought us and that He expects obedience, isn't it? 

And it's easy to follow selfish desires that often lead our hearts toward distractions that later prove empty, unsatisfying and possibly destructive. We forget that God is holy and calls us to be holy, less like the world around us in increasing measure.

Sometimes even though we know what to do and what not to do, we don't and we do. We need reminders. I need to remember.

My children are adults now. All in their 20's and mostly independent. I can't bear for them to forget and drift. I want them to remember. 

So I attempted a little craft. (I know better than to ask them to make their own. #crafttimewithmommy)

I tied a blue tassel on each of their wrists. "Remember God's instructions. Do them. Don't follow yourself. Be holy." 

I don't expect them to wear it everyday of course (I've learned my limits), but asked each to put it somewhere visible. I see Scott's on his dresser. I got this picture a week later.

I admit I cried a little. My favorite parenting verse in living color. 

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."**

Obsessed with God. That's the gist I think. Of all the things we teach our littles, this is the main one that needs to stick. Passing God's faithfulness to the next generation. Even when they are adults. Because life is hard when you're a grown up. They still need instruction. Let's be real, I still need it.  

Sadly, our time came to an end too soon for any of us and we had to say goodbye. I'm grateful for these kids who put up with their mother's ramblings (and lame crafts) and get on board with her nutty ideas, including 12 hours in the car for 2 short, uneventful days together.

At times parenting can be so hard, and other times so good. I'm glad it doesn't end when they turn 18.

PS. Lest you think it was a holy moment and my kids were in awe when I produced a tassel for each of them, their response was a quote from a favorite childhood movie:

"Hey Rug Man, haven't seen you in a  few millenia, give me some tassel...."
Another proud parent moment.

But the worst part, I knew one of them would say it. And it's not because I thought it first. Well....

*Numbers 15:37-41 Yes, Numbers! (This is why we have to read the whole Bible - amazing treasures hidden in there.)
**Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Space + Time = Clarity

It never ceases to amaze me that when we create space in our lives for a specific period of time and ask God to fill it with what He wants, He does - in abundance!

As Lent approached and I considered what I could 'give up' in an effort to have more room to consider the last weeks of Jesus' life on Earth, I murmured to God, "What would I miss more...coffee or chocolate?" (because you know you have to choose that thing(s) you really want on a daily (or hourly) basis).

The voice in my head said, "social media".

"Excuse me? Coffee or chocolate?"
"You heard Me."
"Not that."
"Yes, that."

I confess I was worried I couldn't do it.That's embarassing. Always wanting to be invited to the party,  what would I miss?

Long story short of the battle of wills - I deleted my apps. (I've learned - sometimes the hard way - it's always best for God to win because when He wins, I win.)

Been ten days now and I'm fine. In fact, I'm better than fine. I no longer look at my phone every few minutes or need to charge my phone everyday - or for a few days (how embarassing).

The even bigger story of course is how much margin has emerged. I'm not preoccupied with real news or fake news, drama in the lives of 'friends' who I may or may not even be engaged with on a regular basis, or the feelings of anxiousness that often accompany all that. Also, I have more time than ever to read the books stacked on my nightstand and listen during times of prayer.

I'm free! The space in my mind and heart now inhabited with all I'm reading as I prepare my heart for Easter is a gift I'm so thankful for.

Today God just blew my mind again. Have I mentioned how much I love reading through the Bible and seeing themes emerge (and that you should try it)? Consider it mentioned.*

In case you've heard otherwise, the book of Revelation are not even slightly intimidating. The first chapters are especially interesting and easy to understand. John is receiving images and instructions as God is critiquing seven churches. It's so applicable to us as the church and individuals.

Each has similar elements. (1) He praises them for what they are doing right and/or enduring. (2) He confronts what they're not doing so well. (3) He gives each a promise.

These promises are goosebump inducing. Check it out.

1. To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. (2:7)
2.  The one who conquers will not be hurt by the second death. (2:11)
3.  To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it. (2:17) So intimate and relationship-driven.
4. The one who conquers and who keeps my works until the end, to him I will give authority over the nations, and he will rule them. (2:26)
5. The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels. (3:5) Us - presented with pride.
6.  The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name. (3:12) --3 Names!!!
7.  The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. (3:21) Whoa. 

Hopefully you're jumping up and down with me right now. Or at least smiling ear to ear. Those are some hefty sure-things!

Perhaps you also noticed the common denominator? Not everyone is included - only a certain group of people jackpot these promises. Conquerors.

Hmmmm. That's not a word that crosses my mind often. Reminds me of medieval times.

Webster's definition of conquering:

 to gain mastery over or win by overcoming obstacles or opposition; 

to overcome by mental or moral power.

Can we just take a minute and let that settle?

Those are some powerful verbs and I dig them.

Not because I think I rock at them or that it will easy, but because if God promises to reward conquerors, then becoming a conqueror is possible with His help!

Gain mastery. Win by overcoming obstacles or opposition. Overcome by moral power.  Ooooo. Christ-followers can master and overcome...no wimps here!

Before we land on just this good news, which is important and super motivating, let's remember what comes before the promises. I wonder what He would say to me.

I know your ___________ and how well you ______________, BUT I have _________________ against you.

Gulp.

If you're like me, you pay more attention to the 2nd part, what we're not doing so well in. You know, the spiritual discipline of self-punishment or self-torture. I don't think this is God's intent or very fruitful if prolonged and results in our paralysis.

For sure we need to honestly self-critique and make the adjustments necessary to please God. But we also need to stop, reflect and possibly celebrate what we have and are getting right.

God does...so we should too. Successes are motivating toward becoming conquerors! The spiritual discipline of celebrating growth?

Maybe the modification below is more accurate...? You fill in the blanks with your stuff.

Dear ________,

I know your ___________  (great job!) and how well you ______________ (congratulations!), BUT I have _________________ against you (repent and sin no more).  Because when you become a conqueror, I have unimaginable things planned for you.

Your Heavenly Father who loves you so much,
God

We're merely over a week into Lent and have learned this - Space + Time = Clarity. Not too late to get some of your own.

 *P.S. this is not nagging, I promise.

Willing to Dabble....Just a Smidge

Five days until Thanksgiving. Seems like the older I get, the quicker the holidays and the passing of time.   

Because this is my favorite time of year, I'm up to my eyeballs in lists, and loving it. I have lists for what to pack for our upcoming road trip, the menu, groceries I need to buy upon arrival, and of course, my year round daily list of gifts. This one never ends and serves to keep me from my natural tendency to complain or feel entitled.

 

The practice of gratitude is everywhere and quite fashionable these days. Of course we know to be thankful in November. All the cool kids are doing it. So I'm not going to talk about that today. 

As Thanksgiving Day approaches, we as consumers are constantly tempted to rush into Christmas. You know it's true. I find many people are quite passionate on both sides of the aisle about it too. There seem to be two camps of people. The die hard "No Christmas until after Thanksgiving" And those who dive right in, blending both with joy. I have two friends who describe each well. One insists "no co-mingling" the holidays and is a purist - no red and green until brown and orange have fulfilled their place on the calendar.

Another, who has known much pain and difficulty in life (connection, maybe?) is a true co-mingler. She insists that Thanksgiving and Christmas are the holidayS. Plural. She has no problem joining the two together. She says the Christmas season is too short and it brings so much joy. Why wait? 

I get this. I'm actually kind of jealous of yet another friend, born in Canada, who is free to launch into Christmas right after Halloween because they've already celebrated Thanksgiving in mid-October. Yes!

I usually land in the middle somewhere. Not one who cares too much about Halloween, I'm all for extending the Christmas season. Four weeks is simply not enough time! People are generally happier, mellower and eager to bless others during the season. We need more of that, don't you think? I think we should petition lawmakers to move Thanksgiving up. Why does it have to be so late in November? I mean, if it's meant to commemorate harvest time, the 4th Thursday is much too late.

Still, the truth is I don't decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving, but I am willing to listen to a tiny smidge of Christmas music on the radio (when we lived in civilization where we actually had radio stations), saving my coveted and much loved CD collection until Black Friday. (You know how I feel about the practice of delayed gratification!)

I start out the family with both MercyMe albums (as loud as possible to wake them up), then move on to the Carpenters, Michael Buble and a new favorite if you can imagine, Rod Stewart. And so, so many more. 

My latest justification to become a co-mingler is that I work full-time. For 23 years, I was a stay-at-home mom and had as much time as I needed to search for new holiday dishes and dessert recipes, find crafty items to make with the kids, and create my own homemade gifts. I walk 4 minutes to work everyday, therefore, spending no time driving around listening to the familiar songs. Not to mention having plenty of hours to watch all the non-negotiable Christmas movies.

 

I am limited now. I don't have enough time! I'm tired at the end of the day. Waaaaa. Earlier this week I read that there's only 36 days until Christmas - what???

So here's my confession. I charged up my Christmas ipod a few days ago. And I listened to it. Yes, I have an ipod dedicated to the most wonderful time of year. In our family, Mommy gets all the kids' hand-me-down, outdated, cast aside electronics. Works for me. Now I don't have to change the songs out. The kids used to do this for me but now my faithful husband puts up with, I mean, lovingly appeases my wishes, making sure I'm fully stocked and ready to shuffle.

The thing about Christmas music is the deeply meaningful phrases. Sometimes in the familiarity we miss them.

A few that have captured my attention and affection the past few years:

The soul felt its worth

The thrill of hope; the weary soul rejoices

The wonders of His love 

The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight

He's the savior we have been praying for
In our humble hearts he will dwell
God is in us, God is for us, God is with us, Emmanuel*

Here is our Promised One, Jesus our Hope has come

With the angels we sing Glory to God in the Highest

He has brought this great love unto us**

Typically, I can be resistant to new music. All genres. I have my faves and I stick with them. Did I mention how many Christmas songs I already have (615 on the ipod to date)? I don't really need any more. But I'll take that back in a New York minute if Carrie Underwood puts out a Christmas album.

Alone in the car last night an unfamiliar song started. I was aghast! What was this? I didn't authorize this addition. I recognized the voice but didn't immediately place it and definitely had not heard the song before.

It was amazing. I fell in love. I cried. I hit repeat about 17 times.

I burst into the house and told Scott of my discovery.

 He gave me the side grin. 

"Have you heard it?"

"Who do you think put it on there? I knew you wouldn't listen any other way."

Well, that makes me seem a little stubborn. I reject this. 

Faithful to my loves is more like it.

At any rate, I had to tell someone so I sent the song to my daughter-in-law because she is trying to become a co-mingler but is married to her father-in-law's clone. Certain other family members would not have shared my joy. Ben, I'm looking at you.

I played it 8 more times for Scott before turning in for the night. I heard him singing along. I think he is quite pleased with himself. He's so sneaky though.

Oh how I love a new favorite thing. Want to hear it?  Click here

Go ahead, I'll wait.

See what I mean? Amazing!

Talk about phrases that capture and delight...

pick any from this amazing song Christ With Us by Todd Fields:

God is with us

He has come to save us

Mercy lights the darkness

Christ is Here

God is with us

Healer of the broken

Word of Heaven spoken (!!!)

Christ is here 

All rise, in His presence we are free

His love has shown that we are not alone

And that's the best news of all, before Thanksgiving or after. We are not alone, God is with us. Receive it today without hesitation.

PS. If you must wait six days to listen to it, that's fine, but don't forget to come back and Click here 

*God is With Us by Casting Crowns

**Unto Us by Matthew West