To Pray Like This

Early while it's still dark, before anyone knows whether the sun will shine brightly or be hidden by clouds for the day, and a few minutes before the neighborhood rooster announces its morning, I find my way first to the coffee pot and then my favorite space to pray.

Last Christmas, two of my kids chose a book off my wish list and presented me with The Valley of Vision, a book of Puritan prayers and devotions. Often, I begin reading one of these prayers to the Lord as I warm up my own thoughts to say. 

Today was no different but the selection proved not merely a beautiful invocation to breeze through wishing I could dream up my own such prose. No, this one was not a prayer to offer without much thought; it required an honest probe inside with conviction and resolve. 

Look at this:

Holy Lord,

I thank thee that many of my prayers
have been refused -
I have asked amiss and do not have,
I have prayed from lusts and been rejected,
I have longed for Egypt and been given a wilderness.

Go on with thy patient work,
answering 'no' to my wrongful prayers,
and fitting me to accept it.
Purge me from every false desire,
every base aspiration,
everything contrary to thy rule.

I thank thee for thy wisdom and thy love,
for all the acts of discipline to which I am subject,
for sometimes putting me into the furnace 
to refine my gold and remove my dross.

Deliver me from every evil habit,
every accretion (increase) of former sins,
everything that dims the brightness
of thy grace in me,
everything that prevents me taking delight in thee.*

I stared at the words and read them again. These confessions are so God-centric; more about a humble understanding of God's character than a disappointed (fit-throwing?) child who hasn't gotten her way.

 When was the last time I prayed like this?

I mean, have I thanked the Lord for intervening and preventing me from marrying the boyfriends I thought were a sure thing? Absolutely! Many times, over the years, in fact.

But what about this week and last month? What about the things I want right now and am, in fact, begging God for? Do these requests reflect a desire for Christ's character to be developed in me or the person for whom I'm asking? Do I wish for God's kingdom to be built and advanced through the circumstance; for Him to be glorified in it? 

The proper response is to consider what's underneath these petitions. Might I be asking amiss or appealing from my own lusts or selfishness - not in harmony with God's will? If so, I must repent. Will I then thank Him if He refuses, trusting He always has my best interest at heart and also those I pray for? 

If not, I will wait. Waiting is good. Hard, yes, but it does deep work that is necessary for a genuine faith. Recently, I took up the challenge to pray this way: "Lord, I know you're never in a hurry. So, I'm just going to leave this here with you. You take your time. Do with it what you think is best when you want to. I trust you." 

Oh boy! That didn't come out quickly or easily, but the more I practice, the more comfortable it becomes. Our God is trustworthy with everything that concerns us. 

How do I know? Paul tells us in Romans 8:31, 32: 

If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son 

but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

Make no mistake, when one has put their trust in Jesus and taken up a permanent place in God's family, you can ask for anything in prayer. Feel free. But as we grow to know Him, our prayers should reflect that understanding and ultimately, His heart for us as His children.

I think I'll just sit here awhile as I shape my own prayers today from this springboard, grateful for the challenge to remember to whom I'm speaking - a heavenly Father, full of steadfast love, wise in all His ways.

*Valley of Vision, p.138, 139