Well, it's Sunday afternoon and not humid, so I am spending it out on my back patio. I'm still basking in the glow of Drew and Brittany's wedding. Every morning when I'm out sweating around the neighborhood at least one song from the wedding playlist comes on my iPod and I relive it all over again. I love this. Yesterday the one Drew and I danced to played and I almost did the ugly cry. Not cool. Scares the neighbors. Still, I was happy even though it didn't look like it.
This is why I haven't written lately - how much more wedding talk can you stand? You're welcome.
So I've got something completely unrelated on my mind that I just can't shake. A sweet, younger friend of mine is allowing me to walk through a serious crisis alongside her. It's a privilege to listen to, pray for and try to support her though the burden is heavy. The further we go, the more ill-equipped I feel in some ways because I have never personally experienced what she's going through.
As I prayed for her, I asked God to show me what I can do to help. He whispered a name to me. The name of a young wife and mother who shared her similar story with me not too long ago. Brilliant! God always has the best ideas. I hoped if I could connect the two, a friendship would be born and my friend would know she's not alone and that maybe just maybe she could see light in the middle of her darkness. I wanted to give her the gift of hope. I knew she would benefit from meeting someone in the flesh who has been through the same thing and made it to the other side - where beauty rises from ashes.
As you can imagine, I knew this could be tricky. I needed one to be willing to meet and trust someone new and be open to listening (not always easy when your pain level is so high). I needed the other to be vulnerable and willing to risk sharing her tender, painful, but triumphant story with a stranger.
Of course, because it was God's idea to begin with, He had already prepared each of them for my call. I explained the goal to each and they both said yes. One was a little hesitant, but trusted me and the other was 100% ready to do anything she could to help a woman, any woman in need.
The meeting came and I was expectant that God would show up. As Beth Moore says, "He never comes small because He is so BIG." This was never truer.
I sat in that booth for an hour or so observing something breathtaking. I was in the presence of:
Courage.
Vulnerability.
Bravery.
Resolve.
Confidence.
Determination.
Endurance.
Spirit.
Fortitude.
Spunk.
Grit.
Tenacity.
Honesty.
Triumph.
Truly it was jawdropping. We listened to this young woman whose life had seemingly fallen apart into total ruin but refused to leave it there or accept it. She did the hard work of fighting for what she knew to be God's best. She also knew she had an enemy who was pulling out all the stops to get her to quit, walk away, or take the easy way out. She had to sort through good and bad advice and she chose not to run toward what seemed like the quickest and least painful path out.
Astoundingly, even in the church she found no one who had walked this path before her or stuck it out to the end or was willing to share their story with her. She was desperate for someone with first hand experience just to tell her she would make it. She never received that but refused to give up or give in.
At one point she said, "I knew God would bless me if I waited for Him". She said it with such confidence. It blew me away. I may or may not have gasped.
Wait. She's not here to talk to me. Get a grip, Angela. Friends, God is not stingy, He let me get some good stuff that night too.
I looked over at my hurting friend who was listening intently. She was crying. God was speaking to her too. She could identify God's presence in these moments. It was huge.
When there were awkward pauses, I prompted questions I thought would be helpful. Soon it was no longer necessary. A Spirit-connection was made. Guards were dropped. We got down and dirty as one put it. Neither one cared what the other thought of her. They just gave in to honesty. (I so love this but mustn't chase that rabbit trail.)
It was one of the most memorable (women's ministry) experiences of my life. As only God can do, pain and despair turned to hope right before my eyes. We even laughed.
A question was asked, "Can I contact you again?". The answer was, "Of course". Numbers were exchanged. I high-fived God (in my head, naturally). That's what I wanted so badly. Later when our new hero left, my friend wiped her face and said, "If she can do it, I can do it." Yes. She can. Hallelujah.
That's the whole point, ladies. There is power in the telling of our stories. We don't have to have gotten it all right. We can have made tons of mistakes. But, when we have the want to and presence of mind to let God write and rewrite our stories and He does, we have to tell it! We have to.
I know life can be super messy. To be completely honest, I don't like messy. I prefer neat and tidy. But let's be real, whose
life is neat and tidy all the time? Nobody's. I'm slowly getting used to
this. I was told recently, "God can and will walk right into the middle of our messes and take our hand to walk us out." God is not apalled by our mess. Can I get an Amen? Please let that be the good news you need today.
My wise friend told me that oftentimes when she tells her story it's like having an old scar removed and wound exposed. Likely this is why few tell theirs. But I know this. While still in the midst of her own storm, she once told a friend, "No matter how hard this gets, don't let me forget that I'm not going through this just for me, but for the women coming behind me who are going to need to talk to someone."
Just take a minute and let that settle on you.
This is a young busy wife and mother, my dear readers. Incidentally, I hope you've noticed how many times I've mentioned these are YOUNG WOMEN going through hard stuff. It's intentional. I rarely place myself in their category anymore for obvious reasons.
Older women, we've got to sit up and pay attention here. She didn't have years and years of God proving Himself to her to draw on as some of us do. She had almost no support when she needed it most and when it was taking too long. Don't miss that.
But she had God and His Word and prayer and His promises. And that.was.enough.
If it was enough for her, it is enough for me.
We have no business keeping what we know to ourselves. It's always been meant for someone else.
When did we become so reserved and private and afraid? We don't have to figure out someone else's problems and come up with a solution - we just have to tell them how faithful our God is and how we've witnessed it!
What if
Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Ruth, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, Peter,
Mary and Jesus and all the others hadn't told their stories? Who would
we look to for help?
Our storyteller has been living in the blessing of her obedience for several years now and it is contagious. You should hear her describe her life today. You'd smile. You might even respond the way both of us listeners did. "I can do this too. I want to do this so I can get to that."
Resolve - to come to a definite or earnest decision about; determine to do something.*
I walked away from that dinner full to the top and it wasn't because of the veal francaise. Two lessons will stay with me for a long, long time.
1. Ask God for the resolve to live the life given me to glorify Him even when it's not what I plan and not what I want. I would rather wait for the blessing of hard won obedience than rush down the road that makes the pain stop and puts my needs and wants ahead of waiting for God.
2. Share my stories. No matter how messy they were, be willing to get real and be transparent and help someone else, no matter what it costs me. There are women coming behind who will need me (us) to open my heart and my mouth to tell them how God got me through.
God has done great things. God will continue to do great things. Let's remind each other because let's be honest, no matter what our age, we sometimes forget.
Reminds me of some verses that I usually refer to as my life verses:
"But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all Your works." Psalm 73:28
Well, and these just previous:
"Nevertheless, I am continually with You (God);
You hold my right hand.
You guide me with Your counsel,
and afterward You will receive me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever." Psalm 73:23-26
*dictionary.com
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