Sometimes You Just Need a Hug

I have a standing appointment on Wednesday mornings.  For a few hours each week, I get together with a group of ladies I've come to adore.  Yesterday while I was driving there, I wondered if I should even go.  You know how you just feel like you're not going to be good company?  Circumstances of life were overwhelming me and I feared the wrong question (How are you?) would reduce me to a puddle of tears.  I  never want to be the one who brings a party down or is so needy. Yet I know isolation can be even more deadly to the spirit.

I had a choice to make. Stay home and sulk or go be with these sweet friends and hope for a little pick-me-up just by being with them. Since we only meet once a week and I miss them in between, I went.

I figured I could slip in, avert eye contact for a little bit and then lightly join in with the rest. Guess what?  I was the first to arrive.  I'm never the first to arrive.  It would be risky to go in.  Maybe I should wait for someone else to show.  I sucked it up and went in.  Our hostess greeted me warmly as usual.  Then she offered me coffee. I went into the kitchen with her and she did it. She asked the question. I've come to learn that life's too short to fake it. We need one another. So, I croaked, "Not so good."

She reached over and hugged me. It wasn't one of those quick hugs like a pat on the back and release.  It was long embrace. She just held me and let me cry for a few minutes until I pulled myself together. During my mini meltdown she said the most heartfelt thing. "Oh Angela, I wish I could take this away from you and walk through it for you." That's what I call understanding.  It was so sweet and I knew she meant it.

Naturally, we usually can't do that for someone else but there's power and comfort in the offer. As a mom, I would feel the same way if one of my kids were going through something hard but a friend?  

The more I experience life's difficulties, the more I learn. In this instance, advice and problem solving were not only unhelpful, they weren't really possible. I wasn't looking for her to fix or remove my problem. I guess I just needed someone to understand the depth of it. She did. She carried my hurt for a little while that morning and lightened my load.

I absolutely love it when a Christ-follower lives God's Word out loud.  "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Gal. 6:2

So many friends have given me this same gift in the last year and I am grateful. Quite frankly, I wish I didn't need it so often, but I do. The lesson here is not to shy away from someone who is hurting because you don't think you can't help or make it go away. Just understand. There is comfort in simply acknowledging the hurt and validating it.

Do any of you need a hug today? It would be my privilege to carry your burden for a while.

On a much shallower note, the heat wave has lightened up around here. I think I may celebrate by actually styling my hair today. With a blow dryer.