Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Choices - Living 2013 with 2014 In Mind

January 2, 2013.  My two youngest kids went back to school today and Scott is off to work.  I guess the holidays are officially over.  Our house is still decorated to the hilt and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon.  It's funny, while I still want to hold on to Christmas and celebrating and have everyone home, I don't necessarily want to hang on to the year 2012.

If you've been my friend a while or have read stuff I've written, you are expecting me to write a post about New Year's Goals.  I'm not really going to do that because it puts some people off and they will immediately stop reading.  Not everyone is into goal setting and sometimes the pride produced in meeting the set goals can actually be counterproductive to good character development.  Still, I think we get fresh starts, clean slates that we can take advantage of.  Not just once a year or at the beginning of a new season, but everyday!  That said, I'll just share a little from my heart about what this New Year means to me.

Last year was arguably the most dark, difficult, disappointing, frustrating and painful of years for our family to date.  We started out last January full of hope and energy and dreams. Come October and November we were limping to the end.  Talk about 'we didn't see that coming'!  Still, we survived.  We more than survived.  We live and are eager to tell of the faithfulness of God during stormy seasons.  It's all about choices, you see.

One of God's gifts to us is the freedom of choice.  He never forces us to do anything.  We get to choose.  Maybe this is what I like about January -  with a new year comes new choices.  I'm beginning to be convinced that all of our choices boil down to two things:  health and well-being as opposed to unhealthy and lacking.

If you're like me, you've already decided your eating habits need attention.  Every bite is a choice.  But, I'm not talking about going out and buying all new workout clothes and exercise equipment, for the Bible tells us that "physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." 1 Tim 4:8

No, I'm talking about the godliness part.  How can we choose each day, starting today, to live in such a way that when we get to January 1, 2014 we feel victorious....not like a failure.  It really is up to us.

Here's a few ideas:

Are you involved in a relationship (or two) that you know you need to be out of? It is not bringing out the best in you and you're not bringing out the best in the other person.  I have been there. You have a choice regarding your depth of involvement. 

Maybe you've given yourself to lesser living, blending in with the culture around you instead of conducting yourself in a manner worthy of the Gospel. Today is a new day.  You choose how you're going to behave. Christlike or world-like?

What if something bad has happened to you?  You've been wrongly accused or maliciously attacked. Or someone you  love has been. You have the choice to get angry, defend yourself or attack your accuser.  Or you can forgive and continue to live blamelessly, letting God be your Defender.

Maybe you've lost some friends and feel betrayed and misunderstood.  You can choose to lash out and hurt them back or you can let them go and seek a new friendship.

What if you have experienced great loss or heartbreak?  You can choose to stay isolated in your pain or you can invite God to bring healing and an opportunity to help others.

Maybe you just altogether wish you could have a do-over of last year.
You didn't meet your set goals.
You nursed a habit or an addiction you knew you needed to kick to the curb.
 You judged others but demanded mercy for yourself.
You spoke harshly to those you love.
You always had to have your own way.
You put yourself first and didn't give to those in greater need.
You ignored the annoying but surrounded yourself with those just like you.
You failed others (or yourself).

Sometimes our self-punishment is the worst.  We simply don't let ourselves off the hook because we "should have known better".  This attitude can be the single greatest hindrance to any lasting change and can keep us in a state of defeat.  Can you tell this is coming from a place too close to home?

I wrote back in the beginning of this post that 2012 was a rough year in the Burtis home. These last six months I've shared much of our journey here on the blog but there is more that simply doesn't belong here.  You have those experiences too I'm sure. Much of what we experienced is nothing we would have asked for.  Humanly speaking we all want our painful times to end as quickly as possible, don't we?  We certainly don't wish for or eagerly welcome them.  But God.  There's always God.  As I sift back through the emotions, I am amazed at how God was so near.  How He intentionally weaved beauty and fun and joy as light in the dark days.  Our thankfulness lists are busting at the seams!

He truly does bring good from the not-so-good. (Romans 8)  I'm convinced that no difficulty we endure goes unnoticed to God.  He will use every bit of it for our good and His glory...if we let Him. I choose to let Him.  To look for ways to glorify Him in light of all I've learned and in spite of all I don't yet know.

Today is a new day.  A new year.  A new array of choices are set before me and before you.

I choose today to accept God's mercy and forgive myself. No more defeating self-talk.
I choose to accept His abundant blessings and not feel guilty for or unworthy of them.
I choose to start fresh and not allow last year's failures to define me.
I choose not to hold a grudge or bitterness against anyone who has hurt me intentionally or otherwise.  Only God is capable of never letting me down.  All the rest are just human as I am.
I choose to forgive as I have been forgiven.  That pretty much covers everything.
I choose to receive everything as from God's hand. The good, the bad and the ugly, remembering that He gives and takes away.
I choose to trust God's good hand of provision for me because He knows best what I need and what I don't need. 
I choose to love others and extend grace to all who are created in His image.
I choose not to judge others or require them to act as I think they should.
I choose to release others from being the meeter of my needs, to not hold to any entitlements.  (Can you say 'high maintenance'?)
I choose joy and thankfulness as my primary attitudes.

This list is hardly exhaustive - I could go on all day, but you get the picture.  I probably need to print it out and post in a prominent place.  Why not spend a few minutes making a list (sorry, once a Type-A, always a Type-A) of your own?  I find that if you put your intentions in front of you (on paper) you are more likely to remember and heed them.

If you're not a list maker, journal it.  If you don't like to write, pray it.  Whatever you do, stop making excuses and decide to choose wisely.  Even if it's hard.  Even if it hurts.  Then let's meet back here in one year and discuss. :)

Remember, He makes all things new!  A good verse to memorize for reinforcement:  "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

I'll be praying for you!  Let's do this year well. 

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