Unexpected Fruit That's So Worth the Wait

Change is in the air.

My summer buddy is back in the Windy City immersed in classes. He gave me one of my wish list items before he left, made by one of his co-workers. Isn't he cute? Well, both of them.

I miss my Ben. What a treat to have him all to ourselves for three months. Our early mornings all summer were a gift to me. Nothing quite like seeing your child get up an hour earlier than he needed to in order to spend some quality time with God.

I mentioned last week that the nights and mornings have turned gloriously cool here in the mountains. Good change. Being a very early riser, I've noticed another tell tale sign. I get up at the same time, but it's dark now.

None of us like darkness very much except when we're sleeping. We especially don't appreciate when our life seems to be in a period of dark, the future unclear. Count me in that crowd.

This past year God has shown us repeatedly and abundantly how He works in those dark times we experience. It doesn't seem like it to us at the time, but it is true.  He has proven Himself to me in ways I will always remember. Doubt is no longer an option. All His promises are for us and true. Some of them simply require waiting.

This was revealed to me once again two weeks ago when my baby girl Ally graduated from her 1st year at Word of Life (She's heading back for a 2nd year tomorrow - woohoo!). I envisioned both of my sons in that same cap and gown twice each in the last five years. Such an amazing gift, yet it was bittersweet. You see, thirty years ago I should have walked that same stage but didn't.

Oh I attended the Bible Institute and loved it and truly God did steal my heart at that time but because of some sinful choices made prior that led to delayed consequences, I disqualified myself from finishing the program and graduating.

I don't talk about it much because it's a huge regret and loss for me, a heartbreak for sure. The hard part for my 19-year-old self to understand was that I had repented. I had changed. I was 100% different and wanted to be there learning about God more than anything.

But. That is not my story. In God's beautiful grace and mercy, He interfered and stopped me from continuing in destructive patterns by taking me down another path. It was hard and dark and not quick.

"Why God?" I asked. "I love you and your Word and I'm not messing with that sin anymore. Surely you want me here." Why wouldn't he waive the consequences this one time, especially since I was poised to start my new life in Christ, for real this time, at a Bible Institute of all places?

Consequences can be hard to take when they show up later down the road. Unfortunately, some of us (younger me) choose to learn the hard way. It's become my experience that sometimes it's the suffering (which comes in many forms) that leads us to obedience. If we let it. When we receive God's discipline, drawing near to Him in humility instead of turning away because we are mad or confused, amazing things can happen. Not always immediately, but eventually and it's so sweet.

Thirty years of seeds growing in the dark that would one day sprout. Fruit I would never have dreamt, that all three of my children would follow in my footsteps, and finish what I didn't have the privilege of completing.

That's amazing grace, my friends. He gave my blessing to my kids. Turns out God wasn't mad at me. He wasn't punishing me. He had a plan that was clearly more wonderful. Don't we all as parents want our kids to have more than we did? It's so abundant! Only He could have planned to bless and surprise me with this so many years later. That's enough to silence all the old questions.

Never doubt the kind heart of God. He is always good. He always wants the best for you.  I know it doesn't always look like the best, but that's where trust comes in. May I encourage you? Even when it's dark and His hand is invisible, He knows everything that concerns you. He is there working, planning, preparing. He will surprise you. Expect it.

Don't quit hoping. Don't quit believing. Don't despair. No matter what, don't turn away from Him. Do pay attention. You wouldn't want to miss it.

He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?  Romans 8:32

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. 

For the Lord is a God of justice, blessed are all who wait for Him!

...how gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teacher will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."  Isaiah 30:18-21 

Listen to the Voice and walk in His ways. You won't be sorry.