The Goodness of Summer

Living in the northeastern United States brings a treasure of natural and cultural delights. Four distinct seasons extreme from each other in many ways, most anticipated enthusiastically, arriving usually later than we wish while sometimes wearing out their welcome, staying too long. But, always perfectly executed year after year. I adore this.

Typically, we love some aspects and dislike (hate?) others - the extremes I suppose. Still, I find there is always something of each to enjoy. 

Every season shines in some way during its turn in the calendar year. This is a reflection of the wonderful, delightful diversity of our Creator God's fingerprints. What He's lavished out for our enjoyment and pleasure.

It's no secret that winter is my favorite season for so many reasons I won't get into today lest I dampen the summer lovers' current bliss. When summer humidity suffocates, burns the color out of the grass, and forces me indoors to the relief of air conditioning, this is only underscored. 

However, I have lived enough years to know loving one but not the other, doesn't diminish the value or the gifts to behold in the lesser-loved. These can be enjoyed without hypocrisy. And they should be - with gratitude even!

That's what's on my mind today - the stuff that's been bringing me much joy in my not favorite season. The things that aren't to be found any other time of the year - that scream "summer"! 

What better way for a Type A observer to pay attention and squeeze out the wonder than keeping a list? 

• a baseball game with fireworks at dusk on a warm (not muggy) night
• a small town Main Street lined with red, white and blue flags 
• aged veterans saluting 4th of July parades, kids scampering for candy 
• kindergarten graduations (even if your beloved firstborn granddaughter wants to be a rockstar - not a missionary)
• country drives boasting fields and hills lush with green grass and trees bursting with leaves (and the wonder of how they die, fall off and replenish every year)
• boat rides on an Adirondack lake
• flip flops and no coats
• neighbors with green thumb excellence - hello gorgeous color bursting zinnias!
• slow, evening marital walks
• cool pool or lake water on hot, brown shoulders
• a barbecue at a friend's pool; dinner eaten on a red gingham tablecloth covered picnic table
• meeting outside with the Lord early every morning for Bible reading and prayer
• marveling at how a robin builds a nest in my hanging fern, fills it with gorgeous blue eggs, sitting on them until babies are born soon thereafter (the thrill wearing off when Mommy and Daddy Bird chase me off MY porch for days until their littles are ready to fly. Not cool.)
• thunderstorms at dusk - or anytime
• garage sales
• the sounds of owls hooting high above, roosters announcing morning and birds singing their praise to God - all before 6am
• graduation parties 
• ice cream stands on every corner - endless soft serve flavors with sprinkles or a hot fudge/pb sundae splurge
• grandchildren with bubbles
• vegetable stands and farmer's markets - locally grown delicious produce
• summer foods - corn on the cob, strawberry rhubarb anything, hot dogs, burgers, deviled eggs, watermelon, salt potatoes
• campfires and s'mores
• grandbaby in cute hat experiencing a pool for the first time
• marshmallow fights with my grown-up kids, while their littles giggle at the spectacle and join in
• the hum and relief of a window air conditioner and fan on steamy nights
• 80's beach music (The Cars, Huey Lewis and the News, Beach Boys, anyone?)
• neighbors not seen in other seasons, walking by, saying, "Hello, how are you?"
• outdoor amphitheater concerts
• hikes and picnics in parks
• vacation time off work
• sunsets when the moon can't wait for dark to start shining
• women fanning themselves during a Sunday morning worship service
• skipping evening tv to read in rocking chairs on the porch with my husband
• bike rides, wind in my hair (summer novels - so fun!)
• any meal eaten outside - shouldn't they all be? 

And that's just a few. :) I bet you could add some too. 

When my kids were growing up (and still today) I've been known to say from April to October: "Get outside - winter's coming!" This not to rush the summer by, but rather to exhort, "let's enjoy what the glorious outdoors offers before we are driven inside by cooler (cold, frigid) temperatures and conditions (glorious snow!)".

It's easy to complain about the undesirables in each season, isn't it? They really get under our skin. Mosquitoes pestering and biting, walking through invisible spider webs, (have I mentioned humidity?), sunburns, road construction, etc. 

But to find the thrills? To squeal with delight at the wonder God has given to us in June, July and August? This belongs to the wise and curious who know this season will end, the next one right on its heels. Happens every year without fail. Why not squeeze all the good out of the one you're firmly planted in?

Sometimes I even welcome the notion that one can't fully enjoy the wonder of winter unless summer has sweat us ready. Same going the other way - how can one enjoy summer to the full if not having survived a frigid winter? Call me crazy.

You get the idea. The joy comes with being grateful for everything today brings. So much to notice and thank the Lord for!

Feel free to add some of your summer joys in the comments. We've still got about half way to go!

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For the Graduates and the Rest of Us

Last summer, we celebrated countless weddings. I was at HomeGoods every week it seems combing through the kitchen section. One for the couple (and one for me). Not really. Well, sometimes.

This summer seems to be the year of graduations. High school, college, grad school. So many smart people I know! As I write my congratulations and well-wishes in one card (or book!) after another I find myself wanting to pen a volume of counsel and maybe even a few warnings. You know, the "learn from my mistakes" type.

I think back a few decades (ahem) to the shaky end of my high school career and wonder what my party guests could have imparted by way of advice to guide me on my way to adulthood. Something more than just "Great job!", "You did it!" and "Have fun in college!" Wisdom, perhaps, that would have helped in every season. Nuggets I would remember and maybe still need when I got older - like now.

Once firmly planted in my twenties, I began seeking friendships with older women. I didn't have many friends my own age having left high school and its immature drama in the rearview mirror. I was craving something though I couldn't name it at the time.

I accepted every woman's invitation into homes and studies; even inviting myself from time to time. I loved sitting in their kitchens, watching them prepare meals, interact with their husbands, discipline their children, serve at church. I asked endless questions especially from the ones I deemed having "done something right." I wanted what they had.

I understand now I was looking for wisdom. I ached for the ability to make better decisions going forward than I had in the not-too-distant past of adolescence. I had been a teenage trainwreck and needed a new and better path for life going forward. I desired my new faith in and relationship with Jesus to be the focus of it. But how? 

I could answer that question in a myriad of ways. Pray. Read your bible. Love God. Go to church and serve in it. Cultivate authentic relationships with other Christ-followers. Try not to sin. Learn from those further down the road, be obedient to and led by the Spirit and so much more. But for graduates, consider this.

The Book of Proverbs is a good place to start. It's important to know this is not a book of promises, guarantees or formulas for success. Rather, it is a volume of teachings on how to live skillfully, honoring God and others with your one life. 

It was written by the wisest man in history for this purpose:

To know wisdom and instruction,

to understand words of insight,

to receive instruction in wise dealing,

in righteousness, justice and equity,

to give prudence to the simple,

knowledge and discretion to the youth - 

Let the wise hear and increase in learning,

and the one who understands obtain guidance.

Wisdom is not just being smart. It's skill, action and applied knowledge. Did you see all those glorious power words in verses 2-5 of chapter 1 up there? This is the stuff! This is what I wish I knew way back when.

One thing I can say with confidence is that these characteristics don't come by accident. You won't stumble upon them. They require intentionality. They must be pursued and sought out (verbs!)

Proverbs is not just a book of good advice. It's God's invitation to learn wisdom from previous generations; what the older know now that they wish they knew then. 

What have they discovered? The only thing that matters, that delivers joy and meaning is this; knowing God is the chief business of our lives. 

And that's my graduation advice - spend your life getting to know God. And I might add (because I can't just offer one thing), don't waste a minute of it on any lesser things. (Hint: Everything else is a lesser thing.)

Consider your life a house -

By wisdom a house is built,

and by understanding it is established,

by knowledge the rooms are filled

with all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 24:3-4

Knowledge - having the facts.

Understanding - knowing how to discern what the facts mean and how things fit together in the big picture.

Wisdom - knowing how to apply knowledge and understanding into the everyday life of a Christ-follower.

But first, the foundation of the house must be laid, and it is found in 1:7...

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

Fear here is defined as reverence and awe of who God is in relation to who I am and accepting God's idea of right and wrong. It's a moral mindset of "I am not God and don't get to make up the rules."

But there is a second part to the verse,

                                                ...fools despise wisdom and instruction. 

The Bible has plenty to say about the opposite of wisdom - foolishness, folly and where that will take a person. Disappointment, discouragement, broken lives, destruction, disaster and more.

Any questions?

I, for one, want to stay as far away from foolishness and folly as I can get. Imagine arriving at the middle or end of your life and finding you have always been known as a fool? Fear of the Lord, living in awe of who He is and according to His ways is the hands-down better option. It leads to the very best life and benefits everyone around us.

I often repeat to myself and my children a teaching from Andy Stanley that has proven extremely helpful. "In all the decisions you face, ask yourself the following question. 'Based on what you've experienced in the past, your current situation and where you want to end up in the future, is there wisdom in this?'"

Here's the thing I didn't fully comprehend at eighteen years old; every decision I make effects my future and someone else. Heeding that piece of advice could have saved me a good amount of pain and regret.

Not convinced yet? Read the Book of Proverbs for yourself. I triple dog dare you.

Graduates and the rest of us, there are choices before you that require action (verbs!): 

• Wisdom or foolishness? 
• Live according to His word, the Bible, or do things your way? 
• A God-blessed life or a life filled with regrets?

You can't have it both ways. You'll never slide into wisdom by being indifferent, but into foolishness you surely will. I pray you choose well. I'm cheering for you.

P.S. My husband will be preaching through the Proverbs this summer as our church pursues wisdom for living. You can watch messages here or listen to them here.

What If It's Not Somebody's Fault

Along with the rest of you, I watched the news in horror this week - and not just once. A gunning down in a grocery store. Children and a few adults terrorized watching everyone in the room being shot and killed. It's unspeakable and unimaginable. We grieve to the gut over this for all the same reasons. Who can help us?

As I somewhat reluctantly throw my hat into the opinion ring today (which I admittedly mostly loathe), I wonder if we could take a minute to turn aside from all the voices - so many voices vying for our allegiance to a cause. Could we resist knee-jerk emotionally driven generalizations, solutions, and blame throwing?

Because here's the thing - some things are sure, but others are not. 

It seems we feel the need to hold someone or something accountable for a tragedy like this because maybe it gives us a sense of control or just some solid ground to try and make sense of it? We can't imagine anyone slaughtering a group of innocent vulnerable souls. But it happened. It's not the first time and likely won't be the last.

Who or what is responsible?

mental illness

guns

family upbringing/home

social media influence

government failure

security weakness

political responsibility

There's no sense to this. It is outrage-ous. It's not wrong to feel that. It moves us to take action (control?) to prevent it from happening again, to honor the lives lost and loved ones who remain inconsolable.

My opinion: I don't think blaming each other is the solution. Whether it's race or political party or religious affiliation or geographic location or moral choices. Blaming is divisive and possibly hateful. Why doesn't this work; only causing more angst and anxiety and anger?

Because we are fighting the wrong war. This isn't a war between men and women and ideals. This is a battle against evil which has been present since shortly after creation.

Evil. What other word could cover such unfeeling, cold, monstrosities of behavior? 

Turning on each other and our opinions will hardly generate peace, love or harmony which is what we crave.

May I suggest we come together - as humankind - created in God's image - and war against a real enemy, who is named Satan? Evil destructiveness started with him. He finds a weak prey, an opportunity, and exploits it to bring death. He is the one warring with everything good - which originates from God, who is exactly the opposite.

What we really need is a consideration of how we can together look beneath the surface or take a wide-angle view to see what's really going on here.

Down through all of time and the history of mankind evil has been present. Every generation has their shameful stories. We are aghast and try to forget the Holocaust, war crimes, genocide, American slavery, sexual abuses and coverups, and more. 

Even before that, evil slaughtered babies, raped and killed women, left the suffering on the side of the road. (Read more about this in the Bible. It's all there in gory detail.) Human beings - every man and woman - you and me - are capable of all manner of sin. We are born with it. We do it all the time and apart from God, we can't not do it. 

Hear this, evil and sin are not going anywhere. We don't have the power to stop what is happening in a spiritual world where dark forces are throwing around everything they have to try and thwart all of God's goodness toward men, women and children - His favorite.

But there is something we can do. We could consider looking up, shifting our gaze from other created beings and look to God for help and comfort. "Lord, have mercy on us!"

We could also stop blaming each other - specifically those with different ideas than us. 

Evil is lurking around all of us, tempting each to pursue and demand our own way, take what we want for our personal fulfillment and agenda no matter what the cost to others. What if we refused malice, accusation, division, meanness, despair and blaming?  

Perhaps not post our jabs on social media, those snarky comments that fill readers with rage, angst or questionable solidarity (building a team)? Instead, we can come together, humble ourselves (is there any chance we could be wrong?), and recognize that none of us are immune. 

We could take a look in the mirror and maybe make some changes in how we are living, raising our children, making daily decisions, influencing others?

What if we sought out a Jesus follower full of faith, and asked questions, seeking understanding with an open mind? Even if we don't have all the answers (it's impossible to, we are not infinite), we could receive comfort and encouragement from the Only One who can give it first for ourselves and then to pass on to others.

What if we picked up His Word, the Bible, written generations ago, preserved (miracle) and authenticated for those who are open to believing what is recorded inside? It requires faith, of course, even as tiny as a mustard seed, to understand it. Open the pages and perhaps utter a prayer like, "God, if you're real, give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Show me what the truth about life is."

Warring with fellow men/women doesn't solve these types of issues. I even wonder if it makes it easier for the enemy to do more damage. No person or group of persons can "fix" this. 

No, what we face is bigger. The problem of evil is what we need to fight. Can we win you might ask? We can if we are on the winning team. There is one Warrior who will end this war on evil one day. His name is Jesus. And He loves everyone He has created. Everyone. Not all love Him, of course, but all are invited to know Him. You could consider this your invitation if this is new news to you.

You see, these victories come through faith in God, prayer, knowing God's heart and mind about things - learned through reading the Bible and becoming members in churches who teach it. 

It comes with reaching out a hand to someone hurting and trusting that one day, as God promised, Jesus will make all things new. He will conquer death. He will wipe away every tear. He will replace this world and the evil running rampant in it, and eventually usher us into His Kingdom. 

There will come a day when the type of evil we have observed and experienced will no longer happen. This is good news! We can look forward to that day with trust. 

In the meantime, what's the point of small mankind, ripping each other apart with pointed fingers, demanding solution (our solution) without even consulting the Only One who can do something about this? It won't touch the tip of the iceberg of the evil among us. In fact, what if it's adding more destructive damage to our society?

Let's do this - bring our lament and grief to a holy, loving God, ask Him for help, to show us how to fight spiritual evil. Lord, have mercy on us! 

He always knew these unexplainable tragedies would happen but, in His righteousness and fairness gave men (and women) a choice way back in the garden of Eden. Live according to His plan for mankind rife with beauty, delight and promise or do it their own way. 

We have that same choice. 

I think it's a good start.

The Lord is righteous in all His way and kind in all His works.
The Lord is near to all who call on Him to all who call on Him in truth.
He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him; He also hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord preserves all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy.

Psalm 145:17-20

In Honor of My Friend

Yesterday I was supposed to say a final goodbye to a friend. We've been needing this day for a long time. To have closure, they say. I've said it too. But with no casket and no body to actually say farewell to, I didn't really feel it.

Perhaps I said goodbye to her on that shocking day nine months ago - nine long months ago - when she left this world. She had been sick for about a week but expected to beat it. I talked to her on the phone one day by FaceTime. Thank God for FaceTime.

I remember it vividly. To help get their house in sell-ready condition, I was painting our son's bedroom while entertaining his daughter, my darling first granddaughter. This was no small feat to begin with. Ever painted a room with a five-year-old firing off nonstop questions such as, "Mimi, can't I help you paint? Mimi, when can I paint? Mimi, is it my turn?"

We were all in constant prayer and on high alert, waiting to hear any improved news from the hospital my friend was pretty well locked down in because of covid quarantine and restrictions; phone calls scattered and unpromised.

My beloved, worried, scared daughter-in-law finally was able to connect with her mom, my sick friend. After a brief conversation and before needing to hang up, Brittany gave me a gift. She put the phone in my hand, interrupting her own conversation with her mom, giving me a few minutes to see my friend's face and hear her voice. I didn't know it would be the last time. 

We had been eager for her to get well and drive to Syracuse from her home in Connecticut so we could celebrate our shared granddaughter's 5th birthday. We went in on a big girl bike for Addy and wanted to present it together. Would we learn today when she would be released and birthday party date set?

She was in bed and on oxygen. She (still) looked herself, smiley, even laughed a bit, albeit somewhat weary. Sick of being sick, I figured. I wasted no time on small talk. I looked her in the eye and told her I loved her. That's not normal for me. I tend to need to warm up and save that kind of declaration for just before saying goodbye. But it came out with urgency. Holding her gaze, I reminded her of all the friends and family who love her and were praying for healing. I told her Jesus was with her, even in this, and that He is good and trustworthy. She already knew that. I said I'd see her soon and couldn't wait to hug her.

Keeping close tabs every day, we hoped for the news we wanted. A few days later, Drew called and through tears, his wife sobbing beside him, said, "She didn't make it." 

I admit, I didn't know what he was saying. Who didn't? One of the zoo of dogs belonging to his in-laws? 

I pressed, "What did you say?" 

"She didn't make it." 

Wait, are we talking about Brenda? No, that can't be right. "What do you mean, 'she didn't make it'?"

"She died, Mom," he barely croaked out. I regretted making him say it three times while his wife openly wailed, but I was aghast. I don't think any of us expected this outcome. How could she be gone? She is younger than me! She's always been so, so, full of life. It can't be.

My turn to weep. I wasn't prepared. (Are we ever?) How could I comfort these two kids when I was suddenly stabbed with the pain of loss? I couldn't imagine a world without Brenda in it. She was a huge presence. 

As was recalled at yesterday's Celebration of Life ceremony, which was standing room only, packed with those whose lives she touched, Brenda was one of a kind. She and I came together about ten years ago when my oldest son and her oldest daughter fell in love at Bible College. As they planned their future, we became fast friends. Her one-of-a-kindness was evident immediately.

As our friendship grew, we became prayer partners, often sharing prayer requests for our kids. She called on me more often than I did of her, but I remember the day I did reach out to her. I had said some things that I thought were to be the doom of a relationship, no future for trust to be built, I had blown it and didn't see it resolving well. I asked Brenda to pray. I'll never forget how loving and encouraging she was to help me see through my own insecurities and fears and find truth. She understood and propped me up, mom to mom. She was the one I needed in that moment, and I thanked God for her often. She was a faithful friend. But she was so much more. 

Have you heard of Brenda Burke-DeSantos hugs? Legendary. She didn't just lean in and pat you on the back with a quick release. You know, polite-like, actually caring if you wanted to hug? No tentative does she really want to hug me or is she just being polite embrace. She grabbed you and brought you in. Body to body, her warmth permeated you. 

And it wasn't quick. It lasted as long as she wanted it to! No personal space respected.  I realized some time later it wasn't just because she was a hugger. She wanted it and she wanted you to know it - to know you were valued, that you mattered to her. She didn't seem to care if she knew you well or it was a first-time introduction. I marveled at this.

Over time I came to love these hugs myself. Living in two different states, we mostly only saw each other on special family occasions. Because I spent more time with our grandchildren and their parents more often than she did for a season, I would not crash the scene when it was her time to visit them.

Except this once, I was missing her. I snuck over to Drew and Britt's house and came through the door. Addy shouted, "Mimi! What are you doing here?" I sheepishly, yet somehow confident it would be ok, replied, "I'm not here to stay, I just needed one of your Grammie's hugs." Brenda wasted no time embracing me. I can't remember what was bothering me that prompted this show of neediness (also not characteristic of me usually), but it calmed me and soothed me and I left feeling better.

Most importantly, she taught me how to live the Gospel. The thing about this exceptional woman that everyone who knows her testifies to (I have heard this countless times by dozens) is how her home and heart is always open to you. And I mean ALWAYS. Weekly family dinner far exceeded blood family. And all of her kids' friends, nieces and nephews, boyfriends, girlfriends, hairdressers, dog groomers (oy the dogs!), etc. knew it and came fully expecting to get that hug knowing they were wanted. I honestly don't think they came for the food, though there was always plenty. 

The real kicker in my observation was how she saw and loved each one the same. She listened to them. She was safe. No one was turned away no matter what they had done - even if they had hurt her. How she could treat everyone like they were her favorite, while excluding no one was as much a mystery to me then as it is today. How did she do it? It almost seemed, the messier the life, the more she insisted on showing love to that one(s).

Oftentimes, seeing this extravagant love and acceptance in action, I would compare myself to her and when I did, I would always come up wanting. I've been the quick, pat, lean in type of hugger myself. Not too close, not wanting anyone uncomfortable, overthinking big love (too much too soon?). Burtis family dinner meant dinner for five, pulling the leaves and extra chairs out for special occasions, not weekly. Healthy boundaries, right? Sometimes I would include their friends, the ones I liked. I may have said I had an 'open door policy' and 'you're always welcome here' but it was nothing like Brenda's - who had strays sleeping on her couches on a regular basis. I'd like to think I loved those most in need of love, but if I'm honest, I favored those who had it a little more together if you will. 

This is where I learned from Brenda how to be more like Jesus and how to live the Gospel. Jesus came to Earth to show who His Father is, to invite everyone to join His family, to give His life away by enduring hardship, rejection, betrayal, suffering, beatings and death for the ones in the most need - the ones He loved the most - the poor, the sick, the down and out, the sinners, the ashamed. Wherever those hung out, Jesus was in their midst. He loved them and they loved Him in return. 

This is the way to do it.

Brenda got it. 

Perhaps she remembered the shape she was in when Jesus called her to follow Him. Perhaps she was daily mindful of her gratitude for God's forgiveness of her own sins. Perhaps she realized she needed Him every day to help her live according to His ways. That's a good place to start because that's where we all live, am I right?

In her memory and honor, I aspire to take on more of my friend's lifestyle (she gave me a front row seat to Biblical hospitality), by becoming more like Jesus myself. Understanding the Gospel - that Jesus came to save sinners - those who've messed up the most or the most frequently, I will offer a safe place where there is no shame for how you got there, a listening ear and a warm meal. A place where Jesus' love is freely on display for one and all. No questions asked. No good behavior required. He brought salvation, eternal life and only requires one thing of us. It's here in one of my favorite quotes from Jesus himself in John 6:37: "whoever comes to me I will never cast out." One thing - come. 

In the meantime, I'll remember her fondly. I can only think of one thing about her I would change - her infernal love of dogs! I've never experienced so many pets in one house. I actually asked her once, "What is this new dog going to do for you that the other 7 doesn't do?" She just laughed and said, "I don't know!"

I'm so grateful I got to tell her I love her one last time (for now). I miss my friend. I miss her laugh. I miss her understanding and encouragement and prayers. I miss her hugs. I miss watching her loving relationship with her daughter, my daughter-in-law, always leaving room for me to be a part of them. I miss the way she loved my son. I miss the way she adored our shared grandchildren. 

I grieve the huge hole in all of their lives. That Brittany no longer has a mom to share her life with every day, feeling her love and encouragement in everything she does. That Addy and Judah will have little memory of the limited time they spent with their Grammie. A giant loss for them - she loved them so big. And I grieve my boy's loss of a champion and prayer warrior mother-in-law on his behalf.

My heart also breaks for Brenda's other three daughters, one son, one daughter-in-law, two sons-in-law, three grandchildren and dear husband. When the young (similar in age, she and I considered ourselves young!) leave the earth, it feels wrong, too soon. I feel that. Some days I still can't believe she's gone. I still can't imagine the world without her in it.

But God makes no mistakes and none of our tears are wasted. The Bible clearly tells us that our days are numbered by Him. He's in control and He's good. He's trustworthy and still has good things for those of us still here on earth. 

And truthfully, we should be so happy for Brenda - she wins! She finished her race. Her Father welcomed her into glorious eternity - His very presence! Yup, she's a lot better off than us. We are the ones left still having to wait for our day of ecstasy that is planned for each of us who have trusted Jesus as Saviour. It will come. That day when He welcomes us to heaven with a giant, all-encompassing hug that will remind us of our girl who gave us a taste of what it will be like.

When Eavesdropping and Stealing are OK

Yesterday while spending time with God in my favorite chair (chaise), I went looking through some favorite books for new words to pray. Ever have that itch? Like wondering if God is sick of my same old same old asks? I certainly tire of my own repetitive prayers sometimes.

I want to be a mighty pray-er, speaking power prayers that will move heaven on earth. I don't believe God requires this or is even impressed by it, but still, overachiever much? 

Of course, God hears all prayers, and I think they even endear us to Him when they come from a place of weakness - as simple as "help". The point is to come to Him who is always eager to receive us.

Still, I have a side that longs to express myself to my Father in heaven with well thought out words that communicate how much I value His time, listening ear, and the intimacy of our relationship. I don't think it's a Type A drive, more like an eager child wanting Him to find the same kind of joy I dig in a gorgeous, well-crafted sentence I might read in a treasured book, you know? I want to delight Him with my words.

Naturally this means I have to take more time in prayer, imagining Him sitting in the chair beside me, attentive, smiling, waiting. I often consider the question Jesus posed to the blind men in Mark 10 and Luke 18: "What do you want me to do for you?" knowing He is posing it to me too. This is who He is.

Problem? I'm not often as creative and inventive as I'd like to be, so I resort to stealing ideas. I keep a collection of printed prayers to reference; to breathe new life into how I could answer Jesus' question. This is the one that jumped off the page to me in my recent search: 

"Lord, I have too long given the devil a foothold (Eph. 4:27). Please help me to stop offering him so many opportunities to bring defeat into my life. Your plan for me is victory."*

That's it! These words described both my current frustration and longing perfectly. Why do I keep getting tripped up by the same things? Why do I continually need to circle back to the same prayers for rescue and forgiveness? When will I stop doing this?

The short answer is I'm weak and sinful. We all are. It's the human condition. But the longer, better answer (truth revealed) is that this is not God's plan for me, and with His help, I can overcome it and leave this struggle in the rearview mirror. Jesus has the power and is willing to give it to me.

Further, the idea to "...stop offering the devil so many opportunities to bring defeat into my life" hurt a little if I'm honest. Looking in the mirror does that sometimes, doesn't it? Is some or all of this on me? Is it something I'm doing or not doing? I believe the hard reality is yes.

I declare I'm sick of feeling defeated - on a regular basis - and suddenly feel empowered to do my part of putting a stop to it. I know I won't be able to do it on my own. I don't have that kind of power in myself, but I can cooperate with the Holy Spirit who does have it in abundance. He is in me and available to help. Through prayer, I can strengthen up and say no, no more of this. Can I get an amen?

Naturally, it will take some work. Awareness of the same old same old choices (which honestly are simply selfish desires/entitlements), acknowledging where they will lead. Pleasure for a moment, regret for much longer. I can make a better decision. Do you see it? That prayer is empowering!

What a blessed reminder. What a help that someone else had a similar experience I can learn from, and I can borrow those prayers. 

Friend, I think this is pleasing to God. We need each other. To teach from our experiences. It's perfectly acceptable to eavesdrop on each other's prayers and make them our own.

I'm so thankful for those who write them down. I suppose I could too - as could you - and before we know it we will be encouraging a brother or sister. Learning from each other's defeats, confessed sin, and new patterns that stop offering the devil a foothold, opportunities to bring defeat into our lives. And our wins - the answers to our prayers! Presenting honest, real, and vulnerable requests to our God who wants to answer us with a resounding "yes, I'll help".

Don't look now, but in doing this, we are being the Church - this amazing gift God has given to His family for encouragement and strengthening. Let's not neglect this provision from God.

"Father, thank you for answering my prayer before I even prayed it - new, meaningful words I couldn't find myself that are already an answer yes from you because they come from your Word. Words that strengthen and empower me to do my part in growing closer to you and farther from the things I leave available for the enemy to attempt to use to defeat me. Defeat is not your way for me. Victory is. I choose your way today. Remind me of this when the opportunity for self-gratification presents itself next. I don't have to give in to it. You give me power to resist and choose better. Ah! You are always for me. And I love you even more today. 

In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen."

*Praying God's Word by Beth Moore

Other suggestions: Every Moment Holy Volume I and II

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