Put it to Death

 In my Bible reading plan last week, I found Job at the end of his responses to his friends' accusations and advice (chapter 31) and his rope, I think. Not only does our suffering friend vigorously defend his reputation (the good old days when people respected me!), but he demands a trial before God. 

Cue the dramatic music. The app host teaches that this indicates pride and entitlement issues even though Job is earlier declared righteous by God. These are betrayed by the crisis Job finds himself in and God is about to deal with them. She went on, "Some trials reveal deep seated issues as nothing else can."

The air went out of my little library I sit in every morning. Don't I know that from experience? Yes, I surely do. Or to put it plain - ain't that the truth? It's been a soul-revealing first weeks of the year and what I've found in the mirror isn't pretty.

Oh, the love/hate relationship with pride and entitlement. Of course, I don't love either - at least I don't say so - but they come out to play when I'm not paying attention.

I'm revisiting a book I read last January - a recommendation from my grown children - to start off my goals for spiritual growth in 2024. It's been glorious and breathtaking (read everything into that) in equal doses. 

Based on the following verses:

I have been crucified with Christ. Gal. 2:20

..knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin. Romans 6:6

Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Gal. 5:24

And He (Jesus) was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me." Luke 9:23

Have this attitude in yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus, who emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant...humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Phil. 2:5-7

Did you catch the theme? The Bible tells me when I entered into faith in Christ, I, too was crucified on Jesus' cross. My old self was slain there. "Christ's death and mine are so intertwined as to be inseparable."

Because of this, "God is committed to my dying every day, and He calls me to that same commitment. I should expect every day to encounter circumstantial evidence of God's commitment to my dying; and I must seize every God-given opportunity to be conformed more fully to Christ's death no matter the pain involved."

When was the last time you heard a sermon like this? Challenged to accept that mission? Speaking for myself, we like being conformed to Christ's life, but don't talk much about what being conformed to His death looks like. 

Yet, putting certain things to death has been a sacred echo in my private life for some months now (see Colossians 3). And I know it's a direct answer to my daily prayers to become more like Jesus; to take on the character of Jesus in every area.

The author continues with this possibly painful list (it was for me at 1st, 2nd and 3rd glance - if I'm honest):

"When my flesh yearns for some prohibited thing, I must die.
When called to do something I don't want to do, I must die.
When I wish to be selfish and serve no one, I must die.
When shattered by hardships that I despise, I must die.
When wanting to cling to wrongs done against me, I must die.
When enticed by allurements of the world, I must die.
When wishing to keep habitual sins secret, I must die.
When wants that are borderline needs are left unmet, I must die.
When dreams that are good seem shoved aside, I must die.

'Not My will, but Yours be done,' Christ trustingly prayed on the eve of His crucifixion."

It's ok if you just need to sit with that for a few minutes. I certainly did and do.

Jesus' prayer is the model prayer every true believer and follower of Jesus must adopt. Harsh? Unfair? Unrealistic? Of course not!  

The truths of Christ's resurrection prove that God will not leave me for dead but also raise me to new life too - if only I will allow my "self" to die.

"Indeed, on the other side of each layer of dying lie experiences of a life with God that are far richer, far higher, and far more intimate than anything I would have otherwise known." That's what I'm talking about!

Jesus said it in Luke 9:24, "Whoever wishes to save his life will  lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he shall find it."

It's a good word of teaching to identify with Jesus' death as our own - what we are called to - and that is how we join with Christ and all His promises for new life and life to the fullest! No pain, no surrender, and no death is wasted with God. 

Well, I don't know about you, but that's the life I want. All these things I struggle to let go of (die to), pale in comparison to being free from the power they hold over me.  Of course! Brilliant!

Jesus knows the way to abundant life. He said it Himself: "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."* Always with the invitation to come and see.

The thing I love about Job - when confronted with his pride and entitlement, his first humble, repentant response in 40:3-5 was: 

"I'm speechless, in awe - words fail me.
I should never have opened my mouth!
I've talked too much, way too much.
I'm ready to shut up and listen."

Anybody (else) relate?

And then a few chapters later in 42:2-6:

"I know that you can do all things.,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'
Therefore, I have uttered what I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
'Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you will make it known to me.'
I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes see you;
 therefore, I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."

Job's is the proper response to God's questions for sure. I don't believe God wishes us to despise ourselves per se, but our "self" (selfish, contrary to His Spirit appetites, desires and demands) is what needs to be put to death so we can really live.

A healthy dose of who we are and who He is goes a long way in correcting course. Job knows and we can know too.

I wrote my response down so I won't forget.

Father,

How can one learn these truths about you and not ask 'how am I doing'? We both know the answer. Confession and repentance are appropriate and required. I offer that humbly and receive the forgiveness I know you freely give because Jesus purchased it for me on the cross. Put to death anything in me that rears up and demands "give me what I want, when I want, how much I want and the way I want it" or thinks any of this is about me. Like Job, I've talked too much and I'm ready to be quiet and listen.

I wish to be overpowered and subdued by you. Following Jesus is my top priority. You get to decide where we go. Everything IN YOU. As Jesus prayed: not my will, but yours be done. You chose me because you love me and have a plan for my life. It's a good one - far greater than these ridiculous things I think I need and can't live without. Take your time enfolding it. I'll try not to rush you. It's yours. I'm yours. Time is yours. Thank you for including me. Thank you for loving me. That's all I need. 

Love, 

Angela

As soon as the words were out of my mouth a smile creeped across my face. Why, I wondered. Because peace came. I was carrying some heavy burdens and a load too heavy, now transferred to the only one who could bear the weight. I felt lighter and with it came joy. 

I'm so thankful our Father is committed to maturing and changing His children, making us new. Even committed to my dying every day so I can be conformed more fully to Jesus. My job - to cooperate, participate, pursue.

Death first, then the resurrection life. Sign me up. Death to Angela!

*John 14:6

All quotes from A Gospel Primer for Christians by Milton Vincent