Surviving The Letdown

I have a question. Why the letdown?  You know how you look forward to something for awhile, plan for, possibly pray about it and generally just live off the energy of anticipation?  Then the glorious day/event (or events) happens, you thoroughly live in and enjoy the moment(s) but when it's over - splat!  You come crashing down from the high.  

I wouldn't exactly characterize myself as a thrill-seeker.  I don't ride amusement park rides (mostly for dizzy/equilibrium issues).  I take few risks.  I like nesting and routine.  I don't pursue adrenaline rushes.  So when I do experience this it often happens at Christmastime or should I say after Christmas - shocker!

But here I sit.

This whole month has been filled with fun activities, each one requiring some measure of preparation - a.k.a. a list or ten.  Not the least of these included:

• Easter (greatest holiday on the Christian calendar) 
• one college son able to hitch a ride home to celebrate with us 
• a delicious, totally splurging non-'January eating' meal that my thoughtful mother-in-law initiated (do I need to mention Easter candy?) 
• a short but sweet road trip south with two of my kids to visit a college
• throwing my son's fiancee a bridal shower that almost all of my favorite women attended
• hosting Brittany's family who I hadn't yet met in our home
• speaking to one of my favorite MOPS groups about marriage and parenting.  

Phew. (That's just the highlights - I didn't even mention my birthday was in there too.) Sounds like a lot, but I loved every minute of it.  I was born for this.

Then Tuesday happened.  The house was back to three of us, the clouds and cool air reappeared, my calendar emptied (for awhile) and I found myself smack dab in the middle of letdown or a meltdown or down in the dumps. Whatever you want to call it.  I really hate this place. Often I know exactly how to get out (usually prayer and focus on God and gratitude - not self), but sometimes it lingers.  And depresses.

I spent the day fighting negative feelings and accusing self-talk when I remembered what a friend recently said to me about the Christian's enemy, Satan: "He fights dirty. We've got to be aware and not give him so much power".

Too often I don't give him the 'credit' for wreaking havoc on my soul.  It's so much more spiritual to blame myself and my never ending supply of weaknesses, right?  Not really.  Not according to God.

Realizing I was standing at the crossroads of making a wise decision or not, I reached out to God, the lover of my soul (and yours) for help.  I prayed something like this,  

"I hate this darkness I feel.  I need something and I know better than to go anywhere else but to You to get it filled. (This the result of years of Holy Spirit teaching about substitutes that only soothe and comfort temporarily usually leaving consequences I never wanted in their wake.) Lord, you know me better than anyone else, will you give me what I need to get through today with hope and joy?"

Then I warmed up a corn bag, grabbed a book and blanket and curled up on my comfy couch watching the rain outside my living room window.  I read a little, drank some hot tea, and even fell asleep for a few minutes.  The dreary day droned on.

Some time had passed when I got a text from a friend.  "Are you free for dinner tonight?  I've been wanting to take you out to dinner for your birthday."  I considered what I must look like (hair day #3, no makeup and wearing old sweats - you know I'm down if I'm wearing sweats all day) and my gloomy attitude.  Not the best company.  Maybe I should postpone until I feel up to it. 

That my friends, is a self-focused foolish woman's response. I knew it immediately.  I recognize the fingerprints of God all over this. He has heard my cry and sent a life preserver.  So I accept with a warning of the aforementioned considerations to which she responded, "Throw on a pair of jeans and I'll pick you up at 5:30."  I hadn't even mentioned the sweats - does every woman do this?

I ate three different kinds of fish, was sung to by the wait staff (the birthday lives on!) and was loved by a friend. Of course it was just what I needed. God always knows what I need. 

He knows what you need too.  We can miss it if we're not paying attention or inviting Him in.

Are you having a gloomy day or week or month?  Have you succumbed to negative self-talk or false accusation?  Before you consider or continue self-pacifying, why not try running to God as your first option?

He's promised to be your best need-meeter (Phil. 4:19) because He knows you. He formed you in your mother's womb before you were born and is aware of all your days (Psalm 139).

He loves you.  Believe it.  And remember this is not dependent on what you've done or haven't done but on Him and who He is.

Don't lose another minute - reach out to God who is waiting for you.

"Therefore, the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you....blessed are all those who wait for Him."  Isaiah 30:18