Living Lent

The next best thing on the holiday calendar is on the horizon. For Christians, we are about to move from Ordinary Time to Lent. 

To skip Lent and jump right into Easter is missing depth and richness leading up to the Big Day.

Easter is too monumental to the Christian faith to only give it one day of the year. Impossible! Heart preparation is needed.

Like Advent (my 2nd favorite sacred holiday), Lent is a time to open the doors of our hearts a little wider and understand our Lord a little deeper, so that when Good Friday and eventually Sunday comes, it is not just another day at church, albeit an exciting one bursting with pastel colors and Spring flowers.

Unlike Advent, more characterized by excitement and abundance, this is a more solemn season, meant to be a lament. One can't appreciate the light and the miracle of resurrection without spending a significant amount of time remembering the dark side, the sin, the pain, the rejection, the suffering, the death.

Both holidays - the focus is Jesus.  During Advent, we anticipate His comings to earth (the first 2000 years ago, the 2nd date TBD). During Lent, we walk the footsteps of Jesus to the cross of suffering all the way to the empty tomb. He is risen, hallelujah!

I've heard practicing Lent called spiritual housekeeping: 

Praying (drawing close to God)
Fasting (denying self for a spiritual purpose)
Giving (to the poor what we no longer need)

If I want annual heart transformation and to present God with pure, meaningful worship, it has to cost me something. All spiritual growth does, by the way. 

I actually look forward to fasting (after the initial dread). I look forward to denying self on purpose. I've seen the results and I need this annual purge.

I guess you could consider this my annual invitation for you, too, to open your calendar and heart a little wider. To approach Easter - the holiday that sets Christians apart - and enter into a 40-day journey with Jesus on His path of suffering and death to purchase our salvation with an empty tomb. This is the stuff!

Lent starts next Wednesday, March 2nd. I write today so you have some time to think about it and pray. Make a plan (like a good Type-A personality would!)

Ask God what He has in mind for you, what would make it most meaningful to you and pleasing to Him. How to live Lent. The goal is always to grow closer in our relationship with Him.

This could look like so many things. 

• Focused Bible readings.  Start with any Gospel. That's where the story picks up. In addition, there is no shortage of printed and digital devotional guides that will lead you in awareness of sin, repentance and appreciation. 
• 
  
• Fasting from something you will truly miss daily (not something you hate, but something you love and think you can't live without - go big or go home!); denying of self (when you miss it, you trade that desire for prayer).
• 
  
• Giving to the poor. Purging our souls of sin and self, also emptying our home of excess. What can we give away to benefit another (both money and stuff)?
  
  

If you've never done anything like this, I'm excited for you. 

Explore some of the ideas above. 

Maybe it will become the (other) Most Wonderful Time of the Year for you too. Who doesn't want that?

Bible reading, prayer
Confession of sin
Fasting
Giving to the poor

We can do this. We need to do this. When we decrease, Jesus will increase and our focus become sharper. (any other 50-somethings out there need some clarity?)

Living Lent is not simply a religious ritual. It's better than that - this is about relationship, relationship, relationship. God wants more of us and the attention we give to sacred holidays is an outward sign of how much we give to Him. It matters. Our efforts will not be wasted.

When we hit the final stretch - Holy Week - we are going to have so much to share with those around us regarding what we've experienced. How real and present God is. How sinful and helpless we are without Him. How mighty and loving Jesus is. 

And that's part of the point - spiritual growth and celebrating sacred holidays is never just for us, it's meant to be shared. 

Finally, when Resurrection Day is upon us and we gather in our churches, we will sing "Up from the Grave He Arose", "He's Alive", and all the other Easter songs with gusto!

Did I mention it's so much more than just a holiday?

Good stuff pictured:

40 Days with Jesus | Lent Study – The Daily Grace Co.

There is a women's and a men's study.

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My Midlife Crisis

I used to think midlife crises belonged to middle aged men tired of driving a family van for decades; eager to trade for something fun and faster to be seen in during the empty nest season. But, not for women. We know how to transition from season to season with grace and ease and contentment, right?

I thought so too, until I lost my footing. Not small changes - work, home, town, church, family (all the biggies, really) - converging at the same time can shake even the steadiest of us. I've spent the last year slowly adjusting. First unemployment (thank you, covid), then moving further away from our grown children and grandchildren. Shifting from working together in Camp ministry every day, my husband has taken his next assignment, pastor of a small local church while I wonder what is next for me. 

I love ministering with Scott at our little church, getting to know our new people and serving them in our small community. But what else am I supposed to be doing? There must be more. Truth be told, I've come to enjoy the quiet and slowness of these eighteen months, hurry in the rearview mirror. Yet, I'm lonely for our growing family and familiar, intimate relationships no longer "on the daily". I worry about becoming stagnant, retreating within. Who knew an extrovert can take on introvert tendencies when secluded or withdrawn for a time?

The dictionary definition of a midlife crisis is "a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45 to 65 years old." Uh oh.

Adding to my restlessness are consecutive memoirs I've feasted on this winter, written by two very different men. One is a man of faith, an established musician, singer, author and gardener; endlessly creative. Another an actor, no faith recorded, who came to fame young, but didn't embrace the Hollywood spotlight; choosing instead a quieter, behind the scenes kind of life, now boasting four different successful career choices. Four! Both gifted with crafting words from memories and experiences into sentences and paragraphs that evoke deep emotions. They moved me. 

I confess, reading their contributions to the world has exacted two responses - first, inspiration! I loved these books and didn't want them to end. And second - the dark side - jealousy. Never a career-minded woman, happily a wife and stay-at-home mom for over two decades, this surprised me. I feel a new stirring inside to learn, to experience, to change, to share something of value; and not keep it to myself.

Here's what I know.

You can't be married to the same man for nearly thirty-two years, still looking forward to spending time together and daily dreading 'til death do us part, without having learned a little something about commitment, forgiveness and conflict resolution that might breathe some new life into weary marriages.

You can't raise three children to adulthood, all married with children of their own, and with their spouses still seeming to enjoy our company and welcome our continued input without some regrets, some wins, some losses, no few regrets and many joyful, hard-won experiences that might help younger moms on their journey. Or encourage older ones (like me) to stay in the game, engaged and intentional.

Most importantly, you can't be in a daily, intimate relationship with the God of the Universe who calls Himself Father, who sent His only Son Jesus to earth to purchase my salvation on the cross dying for MY sins, now called my brother, and then implanted His Holy Spirit, living inside my body to comfort me, instruct me in the ways of Jesus, convict me of sin, and guide me into an obedient, blessed life since I was eighteen years old, without knowing something about this 3-in-1 God that those coming behind need to know.

I also know that was the longest sentence in the history of sentences. Congratulations! You survived it. I appreciate you powering through.

Like Jeremiah of the Old Testament - my paraphrase - there is in my heart a burning fire and I cannot keep it in.

So, I vented and agonized with a few girlfriends who get me and they advised (unbeknownst to the other) we start by meeting back here at this blog, my small corner of the world. It's been a while. I realize there are already a myriad of voices available to you and I don't wish to contribute simply more noise. I pray and hope that what is written here in the days, weeks and months ahead will encourage, comfort, challenge and delight in some way that is personal, important, and enriching to your life.

Please scroll up and subscribe and follow to receive each post in your email (is email still hip?) so you won't have to rely on Facebook algorithms, or my memory to link through many social media platforms. And I'd love for you to share with your friends, family or someone who you think might find it worthwhile.

You can also respond or ask questions in the comments section. How fun would that be to chat together?

I'm glad you're here with me. 

More Winter

I was working at my desk the other morning (I've never had a desk of my own at home and I'm pretty jazzed about it) when I discovered this picture and promptly made it my background. Hadn't seen it in a while; it was taken ten years ago I think. One was home from college, one finishing up high school and the littlest just loving her teenage life.

It was obviously winter. 

As these years (in hindsight) seem to have sprinted by and I miss them, I feel a longing to leave hurry in the rearview mirror. Have you noticed winter is the only season most cannot wait to get through and see end sooner rather than later? The other three can linger as long as they want and we don't complain.

The shift to slow down winter came for me when my first son was finishing his childhood living with us. I left the Christmas tree up longer hoping it would delay the calendar knowing next year he'd only be home for a portion of December. I cheered snow days. I baked a lot. This continued as the other two eventually flew away to adulthood.

Not much has changed in the empty nest, but for different cause. I dig my heels into winter for more reasons than just the pretty snow. Today I heard February described as monochrome, monotonous and anonymous. Yes, this is true. (It sounds so white and colorless.) But the older I get, the more value I find beneath the arctic surface of this season.

Would you believe I recently thought this, "Winter is going to end before I'm ready. There's still things I need to pay attention to, do and enjoy."? I wrote the following in my journal:

It's mid-February and while winter seems to have us by the throat, I know spring rumbles underneath the surface and soon we will hear and see its stirrings - new life will abound everywhere. I will surely love it, but I'm not quite there yet.

 I'm not ready to say goodbye to dark early mornings, sitting in the quiet by an electric fire and crackling candle. I'm not ready to pack away the white lights on evergreen branches in every room of our new house. I still eagerly watch the clock to feast my eyes on blue dusk at the 5:00pm hour. I want to indulge in more orange and cranberry sweets, richly flavored hot drinks and warm comfort food dinners (Joanna Gaines' cookbooks, anyone?) and smell homemade bread wafting through the house. I need more indoor time because once the sun shines warm, I'll want out! 

I pray everyday but winter seems to be more about listening and I need more time to listen and be still before the birds interrupt the silence. I have yarn to knit into mittens and hats and a stack of books saved for a snowy, cold afternoon. I haven't taken enough walks outside, listening to the snow crunch under my boots (even if I fall off the sidewalk and down in a very unflattering, ungraceful heap like last week). Also, I need to finish the Iowa Pine-scented dish soap before I trade it for something fruity and light! In short, I still have room for the wonder and pleasure that winter brings to all five senses.

The Bible tells us God, the Father created every season for a purpose AND that He is the best giver of gifts. Each season is full of gifts He gives us to enjoy and I'm determined not to leave this one unfinished because just like the season of full-time, in house parenting is far behind me, this one will be before I know it too.

And, like all others, I won't be able to go back to add to, modify or do differently.

The Weight of It

So I got this idea for a Christmas gift and pitched it to my husband - a cooling weighted blanket. I had heard how they can make you sleep better, bring comfort, and quite possibly reduce anxiety. He was unconvinced of the "necessity". Can we just stop right here and ask, "Why does a Christmas present have to be necessary?" Anyway.

Maybe the kids would be more supportive. I believe my firstborn son responded, "a what?".
"A cool weighted blanket. You know, heavy (so I can cuddle down for the cold winter), but not hot (because I bring enough heat)", I answered.

He whipped out his laptop to look the blanket up on Amazon. I think he doubted the existence. He started reading aloud and Scott, Brittany and I died laughing. Partly for the description, and partly for Drew's reading with expression (something I begged him to do when he was younger and reading to his siblings) - better yet, his inability to read it through for fits of cracking up - with tears, even.

4.0 out of 5 stars Boyfriends loves it & won't get out of bed

Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2019

Size: 60''x80'',15lbsColor: Dark GreyVerified Purchase

My boyfriend asked for a weighted blanket for Christmas, and I attempted to do some research. I quickly
became bogged down in conflicting reviews - and found the whole process rather frustrating.
As Christmas loomed, I eventually had to throw caution to the wind and just hit 'add to cart' on something. 
I chose this blanket & cover set.

In a blatant display of ignorant bravado my boyfriend requested 'the heaviest blanket possible.' 
I deferred to the accepted wisdom of 10% of his bodyweight. Long story short -- my bf loves 
the blanket. He tells me almost daily. I do suspect a big part of the love is the soft, 'minky' cover.
 It's pretty fantastic. He doesn't find it too hot, but bear in mind it's January in Winnipeg Manitoba. 
If you aren't familiar with Winnipeg, we literally made headlines for being colder than Mars. Google it.

I too love the feel of the blanket, but often find it too hot. That said, I'm in menopause 
-- which if you aren't familiar -- google it.

So all in all, we are both happy with the blanket -- and our cats are also big fans. 
Personally, I love that it's not a magnet for cat hair. That was a big concern for me.

My other concern was/is -- if we are in a raging house fire would all the beads melt 
and effectively laminate us to our mattress. I worry about stuff like that. 
My boyfriend says this is not something I need to be concerned about.

a blatant display of ignorant bravado
laminate us to the blanket
Who is this author? I want to meet her. I had no idea Amazon reviews were so amusing or creative.

We now have Drew read it often strictly for entertainment purposes. It's a spectacle. I'm willing to share it - private message me. 

Fast forward to Christmas morning. Because I have a wonderful, tolerant husband, I got the blanket, king-size.

I could barely lift it. 17 pounds of substantial density. The girls and I tried it first and sunk under the pressure - and fell in love. Brittany threatened to fall asleep with me as an experiment of whether or not her father-in-law would kick her out of our bed.

I tell you, friends, do yourself a favor and invest in this treasure. The first few nights I slept better than I have in months. I didn't get up in the night like I usually do. Mostly because I couldn't get out from underneath it. I didn't roll over repeatedly, maybe because I couldn't lift it in my sleepy state. Some mornings I can only manage sliding out from underneath. Regardless. It's more than a bed linen, it covers me with gusto. 

Making the bed has become a sufficient daily workout now, especially when I wash the bedding, but the reward at the end of the day is worth it during another long Adirondack winter. 

The jury is still out for Scott who occasionally has nightmares that he is buried alive and can't get out, but every night when I fall asleep, I thank God for it because the blanket reminds me of Him. The heavy comfort of His presence. 

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

2 

You know when I sit and when I rise;

    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 

You discern my going out and my lying down;

    you are familiar with all my ways.

4 

Before a word is on my tongue

    you, Lord, know it completely.

5 

You hem me in behind and before,

    and you lay your hand upon me.

6 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

    too lofty for me to attain.*

What if God's love and care for me is like the weighted blanket? It protects me. His love bears down and weighs on me. It prevents me from making a quick getaway when I feel like it's smothering. No, it comforts me, surrounds and cloaks me in comfort and safety.

You are my hiding place;

You will protect me from trouble

and surround me with songs of deliverance.**

Is the feeling I get under this blanket like what it feels to be under the shadow and wings of Almighty God? 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.

He will cover you with His feathers,

and under His wings you will find refuge;

His faithfulness will be your shield and defense.***

Keep me as the apple of your eye;

hide me in the shadow of your wings,

from the wicked who assail me

from my enemies who surround me.****

I love imagining these images as I drift off to sleep. I consider Psalm 4:8, a verse I used to meditate on when I was young and afraid of being alone at night:

I will lie down and sleep in peace,

for you alone, O Lord,

make me dwell in safety.

And in the end, my husband wins the prize for getting me the "wow" gift for Christmas 2019.

 *Psalm 139

**Psalm 32:4

***Psalm 91:1-4

****Psalm 17:8

Rich

Here we are again...one more week until Thanksgiving. The most wonderful time of the year for sure. I try to honor each holiday with intention, but since reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts at least three times in the last five years or so - every day is Thanksgiving. Minus the turkey and pies.

So how does one make it special when already in the habit of deliberate daily giving thanks? I have journals full of lists of praise for provisions and experiences gifted by God. What else?

Prayer, Bible study, and a good book should give me what I'm looking for.

Philippians 4:19 "My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of God."

Perhaps Philippians' "riches of God" coupled with Ephesians 1:3-10, God has "blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ..."

What are the spiritual riches, eternal and unseen that are more valuable than the richest objects or experiences on earth? A new list!

To start:

He chose me
to be holy and blameless in His sight
In love, He adopted me into His family
He has freely given me abundant grace
In Him I have redemption through His blood (the only way to become right with God),
forgiveness of sin
in accordance with the riches of God's grace
that He lavished on us
Love
Joy
Peace
Christ's righteousness now mine
Hope for heaven
Intimacy with God
Good works prepared to fulfill my purpose

I'm rich! Rich in all the above (which is just scratching the surface).

Let's have some fun with this. What else am I rich in?

Currently-

snowflakes
trees - covered in snow
mountains
icicles
I'm rich in nature!

Friends who
love me and my family
ask hard questions
encourage and tell truth
sharpen me
who give up a Saturday morning
to shower my engaged daughter with gifts and marital advice
and come early
and bring food
and set up
and stay late
and clean up
I'm rich in friends!

praying parents
faithful, loving husband
grown kids who share with Scott and me:
love for Jesus
participation in family traditions
laughter
familiar jokes
a long history of memories and same experiences
daughters-in-law who love Jesus and my sons with gusto
I'm rich in family!

pastors who preach the Word
and pray for us
a Sunday School class to teach
younger women to mentor
Biblical worship to express this thanks
I'm rich in church!

I'm rich in bibles and books and sweaters and mugs (seasonal, of course) and shoes and table linens and artificial trees covered in white lights and food and Christmas music, movies & books....

I think I'm on to something. This is like giving thanks on steroids!

Not convinced? Psalm 84:11 says, "No good thing will He withhold from those whose walk is blameless." This cannot be true. Are you thinking this? Are you mentally listing out all the things the Lord has failed to provide for you? I am too. But guess what - I've learned this: If I pray for it, and God doesn't provide it, it means it wasn't a good thing or it wasn't a good thing for me right now. But even deeper than this simple platitude is the idea of 'withholding'. I read in John 3:34 that "God gives the Spirit without limit." Without limit! In other words, God does not withhold Himself from us. We can have all of Him that we want in an unlimited way."*

I've always wanted the most gifts. Excuse me while I go get a new journal.
But not just a list. If I'm rich, then the right thing to do is give it away - share the abundance of riches with others.  Advent is right around the corner. Stay tuned on how this plays out.

Wanna Join me?

And Happy Thanksgiving!

*My favorite book from 2018 - Seated With Christ by Heather Holleman