It Went Too Fast

I used to like the end of our kids' school breaks. I had no problem with them going back to school. I was ready to get back to routine and schedules. Of course, I knew they would be home for dinner every night.

Now the end of Christmas means all my kids leave home and go back to their own lives, apart from us. That's a whole different ball game. I'm not a big fan (at this moment).  So as usual, I'm fighting the post-Christmas blues. Seems a little tougher this year.

I tried explaining this to a few of my new 20-something friends. "It's because for a month or so I've been planning, making lists, choosing recipes, buying presents, decorating the house, baking, cooking, and so much more. Now they are just gone. Poof! And I feel sad."

The girls all sigh, entering into my emotion, and tell me it's going to be ok. The boys sort of look at me like, "Whoa, you're such a mom. Christmas is over. It's not a big deal."

Well, it is to me and I'm not sure I'll ever like the end of it. Scott has picked up on my mood and surely in an effort to comfort, reminded me that our goal has always been to raise responsible adults who are independent and mature. That was as helpful as you can imagine. But he's right and of course I'm grateful. I just wish I didn't love their company so much. 

That said, I'm fighting the sadness by 1. Not allowing my feelings to get in the driver's seat and boss me around, and 2. Putting my focus on all the joys of the last few weeks. This is where my ongoing list of blessings, gratitude comes in. As I record and re-read each line, I am reminded that the blessings and the positive always outweigh the negative.  

Just a little bonus tidbit you probably already know - late nights and little sleep do not help one discern feelings and thoughts. Rest! (FYI - older kids stay up later, especially when they sleep on an air mattress in your room. Our new place is considerably smaller than our last so every night one of our kids were in with us. One night both boys slept in our room. It was sort of sweet. There was no way I would get away with taking that picture.)

Part of my problem is that I can't figure out where all the days went. It's such a blur.  I look at the calendar and think, "When did that happen?" And "What did we do that day?" "How could it have been a week ago?"

Mind you, this is also the first time I've juggled working full time with family time. It was challenging to say the least. I'm not sure I did it well. I know I was fully present in every moment, but I still feel the time slipped through my hands and as hard as I tried, I couldn't make it last or slow down.

It's crazy inside my head sometimes. I honestly don't know how I would survive this life and all the unruly emotions that come with it if I didn't have a Heavenly Father who knows and understands and invites me to cry it out and let Him carry all that for me. Make that for US. He is so good. 

We have been spending a lot of time together and that is always time well spent. Nothing is as comforting and reorienting as Jesus and the Bible. 

New Years kind of snuck up on me too which was unsettling. I like to know what my new goals and spiritual disciplines will be and get a good start (control freak, much?).

Since I didn't read through the Bible last year, I decided to go that route again. January and Genesis just go together.  I believe we need to read the Bible with both a deep and wide approach. Deeply dive into passages and verses studying and lingering on them as long as it takes to understand and apply each. And wide, by reading the whole volume in a concentrated amount of time to get the whole picture. This is the best way to get to know the heart of God, and that's what I want more than anything.

I invited the women I work with to join me and I'm excited that many of them are. If you're interested too, I will leave the link to the plan we are using at the bottom of this post.

So how was your Christmas? I hope you were blessed with peace, love, and God's presence along with fun with family and friends. I wish I could sit with you and hear all about it.

I guess I'll end this post with some pictures from ours. I didn't take too many because older kids don't really want a picture after they open each gift. But if you are interested, this is what it looked like here in the mountains.

Ally came home first and because Scott and I were working, she drove an hour, by herself, to a train station she'd never been to and picked up her brother. Classic expressions pictured here. Ben does not dig selfies, so he rarely cooperates. She never includes both eyes.

One last shopping trip for these girls. You have to appreciate that any and all good shopping happens -at the very least - 50 minutes away. So we consider it a road trip. Which means a specialty drink (when you can find one).

Some people get and are not turned off by my love of gift giving and receiving. Many sweet friends sent me special gifts - all of which I love and adore (gift and giver). I got this special package in the mail loaded with goodies for me. I sent a pic to Brittany and she said, about the giver, "She knows you so well!" That's the point. And I am blessed.

Guess who insisted on helping me open them?

That watch though! If the goal was for me to feel loved, it worked! Thanks my friend, you know who you are and you amaze me.

Some special friends who mentored us during our first days of marriage, blessed us with this yummy treat. They have not failed to send these chocolates to us every year for 25 years. This is why we are fat, but we are happy!

One of Ben's best childhood buddies came for a 2 day visit. We loved having Josh with us. I always giggle at how close they sit to each other. I hope this friendship lasts forever.

Speaking of Ben, Ally begged him to let her straighten his kinky curly hair. An interesting experiment.

We decided he looked like he stepped right out of a Guitar Hero game.

Next up was another trip to the train station to grab these weary all night travelers. We are big fans of public transportation. We are even bigger fans of kids coming home for Christmas!

We attended a lovely Christmas Eve service and then came home to get to bed early because the grandmas were coming in the morning! Oh and Santa before that.

I went out on a limb and bought some matchy-matchy clothes for the kids, knowing I was taking a great risk. They have become quite picky about my apparel selections. Turns out I nailed it. Listen up young mothers who think your growing kids will refuse dressing alike again - you just have to get the right clothes!

Yes, Ally's shirt says "fries before guys".  For a reason. (Britt's doesn't say that, obviously)

When did they get so grown up?

And thanks to Scott's mom, we have triplets in the house!

This is the photo of a man who is very proud of his two sons. Notice his clone wears the same color.

When the rest of the family arrived, we had a really nice dinner together. Not everyone could come and not everyone is pictured. 

Selfie sticks make sensible people take silly pictures.

A boy and his grandma

My girls

I loved every gift specially purchased for me. Here are a few of my favorite gifts...

Books, of course! I gave Scott those boy and girl skiers because that's going to be us very soon as we take up cross country skiing. It's meant to be prophetic.

Scott gave me the 'wow' gift this year. Something I've always wanted, a personalized photo calendar. It is hanging at my desk at work. I just love it. Each family member is featured on their birthday month. Ahem, even me. Imagine the month of April - two pictures of Angela and no one else. Ew. I don't mean to be ungrateful or insensitive, but people. I guess I'll have to fold that one over when we get there. Can you imagine anyone visiting my desk and seeing a calendar with photos of myself? That sweet man, he means well. 

A few days after Christmas some longtime friends came up for a visit. Our kids were little together. Look at them now! We missed you Jesse. We had so much fun catching up, eating and playing games. We talked about God and laughed loud. Bob asks important, deep questions and I love hearing everyone's answers. It was faith building for sure. 

Scott was working while Donna & I were home staying warm, I mean, getting the next meal ready.

We worked on New Years Eve. A few of Ally's friends came up to work in the kitchen, eat up our leftovers and play more games. They are nice boys.

I hung out at the Front Desk with this fun bunch...

Scott worked all over and with the ones who were going to make sure these fell at the right time. They sort of did as we brought in the new year on Newfoundland time (the easternmost place). 10:30pm baby! This is the way to go for those of us who don't like to stay up til midnight.

And shortly thereafter, it was over.  All but one has left, and we only have 2 more days with him. It's so bittersweet.  So much to be thankful for. We had unending fun watching numerous favorite childhood Christmas movies, playing silly games, reliving memories, talking about important things, and just enjoying one another's company. Gifts upon gifts. Joy and more joy.

After our kids and guests left, the snow arrived. Bad timing. 

Winter is here now. So is a new year. New beginnings. A clean slate for God to continue writing the stories of our lives for His glory. Let's be sure to not try and take the pen away or doubt it's accuracy and intent. He knows what He is doing. We can trust all of it will be for our best.

This is a great passage and prayer to start us off...

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is 

before all things and in Him all things hold together.

And so I pray for you asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and 

increasing in the knowledge of God. 

May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."*

That's enough to chew on for a while. It is the kind of amazing truth and intention that will carry us boldly into the new year, eager to fulfill His calling in our lives. This is my prayer for you and me.

Thank you for reading all the way to the end, indulging me by letting me hold on to Christmas a little bit longer. The sadness has lifted and I'm excited to see what God has planned in the days ahead. I know it will be worth it.

This doesn't mean my Christmas trees are coming down anytime soon or that I'll stop listening to the music in the early mornings. I need a little more time...

________________

*verses from Colossians 1

Bible reading plan 

(I really love this reading plan because you can read the OT in the morning and the NT in the evening.  Is there anything better than getting the Word in your mind first thing and last? No, there isn't. Also, you are given a day off on the weekend to catch up or get ahead.) Please join in. It's not too late.

Happy Is a Verb

Every day I find more things to love about Christmas and December. It's the most wonderful time of the year for so many reasons.

Just the other day after work I said to Scott, "This is my favorite time of day in December." Typically, I come home, put on some Christmas flannel pants, warm up a corn bag to cuddle up with, start a Christmas movie and curl up on the couch for a power nap. Fifteen minutes max. When I wake it's dark out and all the lights in our house are twinkling. Aaaaah, I love it!

But as good as that may be, the truth is the early morning time is probably my most favorite. I seem to be in a new stage of life where I don't sleep well.  I can fall asleep like a champ, but stay asleep til morning - not so much.

There is an upside. I get to sit and gaze at this while I observe Advent with the full attention of my truest love, Jesus.

We sit here together every morning while it is still dark. It's quiet so I can listen better. I'm so hungry for Him to reveal a new truth from the very familiar story of His birth. I'm watching for Him to show up in a new way and He never disappoints.

Just yesterday I was reading in Matthew 2 and came across this that I've read at least 75 times over the years about the Wise Men:

When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy.

And going into the house they saw the child with Mary His mother, and they fell down and worshiped Him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered Him gifts. 2:10,11

I didn't rush past. Three actions jumped out: 

1. They rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. 

2. They fell down and worshiped Him. Fell down people! When was the last time you fell down on purpose or because you couldn't respond any other way?

3. They offered Him gifts. This is a rabbit trail and I'm not going to go there today.

That first highlighted phrase is what really popped. They rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. That's a lot of adjectives, I thought. God is trying to paint a picture here for us. This verse should land with fireworks! It's almost like saying, 'They were happy beyond happy with overwhelming happiness!'

Check it out in the Message:

Then the star appeared again, the same star they had seen in the eastern skies. It led them on until it hovered over the place of the child. They could hardly contain themselves: They were in the right place! They had arrived at the right time!
They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary, his mother. Overcome, they kneeled and worshiped him. Then they opened their luggage and presented gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh.

The Living Bible:

 Their joy knew no bounds! Entering the house where the baby and Mary, his mother, were, they threw themselves down before him, worshiping. Then they opened their presents and gave him gold, frankincense, and myrrh. 

Phillips:

 The sight of the star filled them with indescribable joy!

Seems to me the Wise Men are like the most hyper morning loving person jacked up on coffee with espresso shots that you've ever seen. You know, the kind you either avoid because they get on your last nerve or the kind you are drawn to because of their incessant joy. Maybe secretly you'd like some of that to rub off on you.

Interestingly, as I consider all the movies, church pageants, and Christmas programs I've watched, this is not how the Wise Men are typically portrayed.

No, usually they are reserved, respectful, reverent, slow. All good things, of course, and very appropriate. But that's not what the Bible says. I get the impression they were high-fiving! Jumping for joy! Giddy with happiness! These men were having a party! They finally were led straight to what they'd been studying and waiting for! They had laid eyes on the co-Creator of the Universe. The Kind of Kings. Their Savior. It was the best day of their lives.

I may or may not be one of those annoying Christmas-loving, happy people. I've noticed the reaction from others. Some smile and celebrate with me. Others groan and try to bring me 'back to reality' or at the very least, ignore.

In recent days I've heard statements similar to these:

"I'm just not into Christmas."

"I don't get excited about all the hype. It's too commercialized."
"I am stressed out! I have so much to do and not enough time to get it all done."

You've heard those and many more similar statements. Maybe you've spoken them to that happy Christmas person who drives you nuts. I get it if you don't know Jesus as your Savior and Lord, but that's not who said those things to me. 

They are believers in the One True God and to them I lovingly say, I think you're missing the point. If you are basing your stance on American Christmas hype, your gaze is off. Modern western cultural traditions are fun and we can enjoy (or dread) them, but they certainly should not be the driving focus of a christian's Christmas activities.

There's so much more. This is why Advent is so important. Taking the time as Christmas Day, the day we observe and celebrate the birth of Jesus, approaches to read and re-read the many passages in the Bible will direct our devotion. Setting aside time to marvel and worship privately should center us and quiet all the other noise.  

And it should spark a reaction. Fireworks! Rejoice exceedingly with great joy! Abundant joy! Smiling. Kindness. Generosity. Maybe Happy is supposed to be a verb.

It saddens me when the cares, pain and losses of life that we all experience dictate how some observe holidays, namely Christmas. Knowing God personally gives us the ability to experience joy even in our pain and what sets us apart from those who don't know Him. That's the purpose of Jesus coming to earth to be with us. To carry these burdens and help us keep walking through by bringing goodness with Him.

If you read through the Old Testament, you will see how God's people were continually dropping everything to build an altar and worship God. Life was hard for them too, but it didn't derail them from recognizing and honoring the God who loves and takes care of them. The God who was with them. Who is with us too.

Listen, I know that Jesus probably wasn't born in December. Likely it wasn't snowing. There weren't trees with lights. (But there were gifts!) Again, that's not the point. December 25 is the day that we have set aside to honor and celebrate the first of two greatest events in our history (Easter is coming!). 

I like the way John Piper puts it, "Christmas (the birth of Jesus) cut history in half." Think about it. This is HUGE and it deserves to be recognized, commemorated and celebrated with great joy! With crazy happiness even if you are surrounded by curmudgeons (notice I refrained from using grinch or scrooge).

Perhaps you are the curmudgeon or just sad or too busy, may I gently suggest you sit quietly, get out your Bible and read the familiar passages. Let them wash over you with a fresh, new awareness. Be in awe. Marvel. 

Then maybe, just maybe when you (and I) do, we will respond like the Wise Men did. We too will fall down and worship. Maybe we will bring Him gifts. Remember, we only have one gift to give and it's the only one He wants. Our hearts. Meaning, our simplest love and devotion, our trust that He is who He says He is.

Now that's the Christmas I want to celebrate, don't you? It's what will last long after the gifts are opened, food is eaten and decorations are put away until next year. 

 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.”   

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host 

praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest,  

and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” Luke 2:10-14

This should be more than enough reason for us to get happy - out loud! Let's get it right for the world who is watching and wondering what the big deal of Christmas is to Christ-followers. Because it needs to be a big deal.

Merry Christmas

The Songs Matter

Hey there! It's been a while since we have had a chat. I hope you are well.

This morning I got up early and came down from the mountain for some much needed time to myself. Of course, it started here at one of my favorite places.

Back when I lived in civilization I came here often to sit, read and write. It's been months and I'm tickled pink to be back. And if you haven't tried the orange scone at Panera, do yourself a favor, drop everything and go get one right now!

I had to pull over a few times this morning to capture the beauty of God's creation. I've been whining to God for days that we need snow. Locals tell me it will come. I know this, but I'm talking December snow. The scenery is still gorgeous.

When I ride alone, I listen to music kind of loud. Ok, very loud. The reason of course is so that I can sing along and not ruin it. Did I ever tell you I sound exactly like Karen Carpenter when the volume is just right? Oh that Christmas cd. It's a wonder it still plays from all the use.

I love the variety of Christmas music. From the silly to the sacred, they all have their place.  As the songs played today, some tears fell. Nothing like singing "Go Tell it on the Mountain" as you are driving through the Adirondacks. You should try it.
Like every year when taking inventory of the past twelve months, I know we have so much to celebrate and be glad for. Almost every morning these last few weeks  tears of thanks well up because last year our Christmas, our lives, were so very different. We were hoping for hope, praying for hope, waiting for hope. It's not easy to wait. I've yet to meet anyone who doesn't say, "I'm not a patient person. I hate to wait." You are not alone.

Maybe you are waiting right now. May I encourage you? God is faithful. He truly does reward those who hope in Him and wait for Him. He is near even if it doesn't feel like it.

The sacred Christmas songs are so rich and generous in faith-filled, glorious statements and sentiments. Have you noticed? Must be I'm getting older and I think more about these things. I remember my mother who came to faith later in life saying her first year as a believer at Christmas was so different than all those before. The words of familiar songs sung from memory year after year took on new meaning. I totally get this. We mustn't let the familiarity shadow the beauty and depth of the lyrics.

Every December it seems to happen to me now. Beautiful, powerful phrases pop out and all I can do is worship Him.

I think we can all agree that we are living in fearful days. Sin is everywhere. Senseless violence. Intentional terror. Sickness. Unknown futures.

The cultural climate was the same at the time of the first Advent of Jesus.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

His people were up to their eyeballs in the 'law'. Weary. Desperate to hear God's voice after a 400 year silence. No peace. Then the baby came.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices.

 Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

From this year's Advent devotional: "The central theme of Christmas can be boiled down to three words...God With Us."

God sent His Son to us.
Jesus came to us.
He wanted to be with us.
He loved and loves us.

This kind of love is demonstrative in nature. God loved us enough to give us His Son. Jesus loved us enough to be given. Both knew there would be a terrible price to be paid. Both knew the rejection and violent death Jesus would suffer.

Probably the hardest part of that for me to fully understand is that they both knew what kind of people Jesus would come to save.

The undeserving
The unaware
The unbelieving

In all honesty, I would not give either of my beloved sons for people like that.

But God did. And Jesus came down here. To us. Has your soul felt its worth yet?

I like the way The Message puts John 1:14

The Word became flesh and blood,
    and moved into the neighborhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
    the one-of-a-kind glory,
    like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
    true from start to finish.

This is the message of Christmas. Reminds me of one of my favorite, now 'old school' Christmas songs by Bryan Duncan. I beg you, if you have never heard it (or haven't since the 90's) and like me can't resist a high tenor, to click here and listen.  It will be the best 4 minutes of your day.

One day an infant's cry
In a troubled land
Joined the heavenly hosts on high
In peace, good will to man

(Chorus)
God's thoughts and ways are not our own
And I can't understand
Why He wrapped His love in flesh and blood
And he took the form of man

And Jesus' lowly birth brought riches to the earth
Lord of heaven coming down, risking human birth

(Chorus)

Every heart that knows His name
Lift your voice and sing
To the praise of God With Us
This Child, Redeemer, King

There's never been a greater love
Since the world began
God the Father sent His Son
And we held Him in our hand

He wrapped His love in flesh and blood
And took the form of man
We held Him in our hands....

If your heart knows His name, lift your voice and sing today. I never can sing "we held Him in our hands" without choking. That's because this is real. Jesus came to save us from our sins.

"When the Father gave His only begotten Son, He gave Him to die. That's the kind of love the Father has. It is a giving love. It gives His most precious treasure - His Son.

Meditate on that this Advent. It was a very costly love. A very powerful love. A very rugged, painful love. The meaning of Chrsitmas is the celebration of this love. 'God so loved..'  And wonder of wonders, God gives this clostly love to an undeserving world of sinners, like us."

He came near to us, friends. He is still near - to you. He still loves - you. 

My favorite lyric this year: the hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight. Truth. Let that comfort you. 

I hope you know that and can feel it this Christmas. Because without that gigantic truth and reality, what's the point of all the rest of Christmas?

So enjoy and rock out to all the songs, but make room for these classics. If you let them, they'll speak deep richness into your Christmas - and the whole year through.


Quotes from John Piper's The Dawning of Indestructible Joy

For What It's Worth

It's rainy and windy here in the mountains this morning and I'm up too early but I do love the first hours of the day to begin with quiet.

So many people and their troubles weighing heavy. It may be holiday time, but these are not Norman Rockwell days for everyone. On my prayer list:

a friend who had her heart broken by a church and it's leaders
a friend who is struggling to salvage her broken marriage
a family and church who lost a young wife/mother/daughter/friend/pastor's wife in a senseless, "random" shooting in her home
a friend who is approaching her entrance into heaven slowly, day by pain-filled day and her family, dreading the impending loss and daily suffering

It's the season of Thanksgiving. Finally, something politically correct for everyone - to give thanks. I see many daily posts of gratitude on my social media. It is good to share these reminders of blessings that we enjoy. An excellent exercise for not just November but all year long.

Since reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts several years ago, I continue to keep my own record everyday. A list of all the ways God shows His love to me. I have found this to be life-changing. It tends to prevent me from my natural inclination to complain and grumble.

I'm also a big fan of spiritual disciplines, engaging in different practices for specific purposes, especially at holiday time. So as November approached this year I was eager for something to do to make my worship go deeper still.

A good friend sent me a link to an idea and invited me to join her. You can look at it here.
It is a 30 day Scripture writing plan. Of course, we all know we retain more information when we actually write it down, taking reading or hearing a step further. I have written a lot of Scripture through various Bible studies in my life and I absolutely know the deeper value. Yes! I was in!  Seriously, is there anything more wonderful than a blank book and a new pen?

Each morning as I write the suggested passages, I'm amazed at how God's Word speaks. Wild things happen. Prayers form for myself and more importantly, for the others who are on my mind (specifically those mentioned above).

It's thrilling to see repetitive words and themes emerge, especially those filled with promises for Christ-followers and the attributes of God that benefit us. I can't stop thanking Him. My heart loves God more and I'm eager to get up the next day and read what's next.

I know we are half way to Thanksgiving, but it's not too late to join me. I can't recommend this enough. Maybe you are struggling this year and not feeling much like celebrating or giving thanks because what you've got is not what you want. All the more reason to invite God in. Or maybe, like me, you need a little more than just a list of the good things in your life.

Whatever your situation, print this chart off or choose any Scriptures and start writing them down. A little bit each day and watch what happens.

Oh, and before I let you go... if you've read this blog for more than a year, you know that one of my favorite times of the year is coming, Advent.* Now is the time to start preparing for that too. (More to come on this.) You don't want it to sneak up on you.

These came in the mail the other day. I can't wait to dive in. December 1st won't come soon enough.

And yes, that is a tree up already, but it's not a Christmas tree. Notice the brown theme. Very November. Very Thanksgiving. No harm. No foul.



*If you would like to read more about Advent and why I love it so, just scroll through my late November/early December posts for the last few years.

Masquerades

Today is Halloween. The day to celebrate masquerading. We don't use that fancy word very much so since I am a word nerd, I looked it up for us. You're welcome in advance.

Meaning: "false outward show; façade; pretense: a hypocrite's masquerade of virtue."*

Well, that's kind of negative. To be honest I'm not very interested in Halloween without kids in the house. I always enjoyed dressing my three up in cute costumes, going to their school and watching them parade around the property with their classmates and then eat a good portion of the loot they would come home with after trick-or-treating. But with them not here it feels like just any other day.

Unless of course, you consider that tomorrow starts the two most wonderful months of the year in my opinion. Now it's an "eve". The Most Wonderful Time of the Year Eve? It's got a pretty awesome ring to it, don't you think?

That's not really what's at the forefront of my mind today. After waking too early on my day off again, I've enjoyed sitting in my red chair praying. I'm aware of many friends and others who are hurting, whose lives have come to a rough patch.

I've received some messages asking me to pray. One is from a man who's been married for thirty years and headed to a courtroom to end it. Heartbreaking.

The family unit is so important to God. It's a gift to us and ours should model His. He is our Father and loves us with a wild love. This love is unexplainable because we simply don't deserve it. But He lavishes His love anyway - because He is love.

God's greatest expression of love came through His Son Jesus. He gave His most prized possession as a sacrifice for us to make a way for us to enter His family. Maybe like me, you've allowed the wonder of that to fade a little.

I think all of us long for that kind of love and inclusion in a family setting more than anything else. We want to be understood, cared for, protected, provided for and adored. In Christ, all that is abundantly available. We are just one surrender from receiving it and never losing it.

When I consider the family God has given me, I marvel. He gave me a man who is faithful and loving, not to mention patient and fun. I did nothing to deserve that gift. If the truth be told, I did everything to prove I didn't deserve it. But that's not how love and gifts work with God and I am forever grateful. If Scott wasn't blessing enough, God expanded our family and gave me three children here on Earth and two in heaven I plan to meet one day.

These kids. Not every day of the last twenty three plus years has been a picnic and they weren't charming every minute, believe me. (Nor was I as the mom.) They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. In this case, for me at least, it's true. All three have flown out of our nest and don't live here day in and day out anymore. Yet my heart seems to be growing in deeper love for each of them. When I do get to be near them, it's pure joy.

Just last week I got to "see" all of them. One in person and the others on a screen. (I'm a big fan of modern technology that makes this possible.) Looking at their smiles just does something for me. The very best is when every personality is in the same room. Family.

She's the queen of selfies and yikes, I look tired.

As I consider this GIANT, ever increasing love I feel for each of them, how can I not marvel at God's love for me? He is a much better parent than I'll ever dream of being. All love started with Him and He heaps it on us. It's huge. We get to be a part of this family! Don't let that get lost on you.

So this couple who is allowing their family to disintegrate, somewhere along the way one or both lost sight of the gift and began a masquerade. You can't be in church and community with others for the thirty years of marriage, no one suspecting how far away from each other you've drifted, and then suddenly one day reveal it's over, without having been putting on a facade for awhile. Too many times I've seen this and when suggesting solutions have been told "it's too late". The masks finally come off. But is it really too late? Couldn't we all just promise to get help right from the beginning? Fight for our marriages instead of against each other?

What I'd like to say to this struggling couple is this. "You've walked with God a long time. You know His Word and the principles therein that are expected of you if you belong to Him. Are you living it? Treat one another the way God expects you to in each of your roles. Husband, if you love your wife with the self-sacrificing, generous, kind love that Jesus loves His bride (us) with, your wife would never turn her gaze from you. Wife, if you respect your husband and be his helper, his champion, always encouraging, building up and believing in him, his gaze will never leave you."

Sounds simplistic, I know (see note at end of post). Marriage is complicated and can be difficult at times. I'm not minimizing that. It's true in all relationships. But I honestly believe that if two Holy Spirit-filled believers are both seeking to become Christlike above all else, above all else, and making every decision based on that desire, our relationships can be mended, redeemed, resuscitated. Parents and children, siblings, friends.

This is where God really shines. Redemption. Making the broken whole. Repairing destruction. Healing wounds.

Our job: live according to His Word. 
His job: everything else. 

So on this Most Wonderful Time of the Year Eve when love and family will be highlighted and celebrated, don't despair if you are lacking in this area.

1. Know that God is your Father if you have received the truth and gift of His Son, Jesus. Your loving, generous, forgiving, patient Father. Let that settle on you.
2. Entering into His family is the best decision, full of eternity-long benefits and responsibilities, you'll ever make.
3. He can make all things new. You. Your troubled relationship. Your family. Everything.

Invite Him? Do the hard work of obedience. Give up your rights. Seek to be Christ-like in every area. Love your people the way God loves you - with their best interest as priority. 

Then watch God breathe new life into your marriage, your relationship, your family. Do as much as God requires of you and trust Him for the rest.

No more masquerading. There's no shame in honestly living as broken children made whole by their Father. This is who we are. Embrace it and let it give hope to everyone you know. If at all possible, don't give up on family.



*dictionary.com
**If you are in an abusive relationship, this post is not for you. Please get safe and then get Godly counsel right away. If your marriage already ended, this post is not to assign blame or shame. The past is the past and there's no condemnation here. You are loved.