Over the last twenty two years, we've evolved from family parties with my feeble attempts at creative cake decorating when they were toddlers to McDonald's parties when they were in elementary school (these were the best because no set up or clean up!) to alternating between dinner out with our five at their favorite restaurant one year and parties at our house with teenage friends the next.
Then they have the nerve to go to college and begin the new normal of being away from home on their birthdays. Not cool. I think I've whined every year since the first one left that I believe kids should be with their parents on their birthdays. And I do! Yeah well, so much for that. Last year I got lucky because Drew was only an hour away so we could easily be with him. So I could do this.
Let's not go there.
Tomorrow is my Drew's twenty-third birthday. He is married now and lives in Indiana. Not sure if I've mentioned that before. I prepared his package the other day and insisted Scott mail it even though we were in the middle of a significant snowstorm. He said, "Can't I send it tomorrow?" Can he send it tomorrow? Was he serious? With all the sweetness I could express between my clenched teeth, I replied, "Either he gets this package before or ON the 5th or you can take me to him on Thursday. Your choice." I bet you can guess what happened next. Let's just say I haven't packed a bag.
Because I'm nuts about my kids and gift giving is my love language, I put alot of planning into what I think is the best way to communicate our BIG love for them. During this most recent preoccupation, in my morning quiet time I was reminded of the fact that when I joined God's family, He assumed the role of Father to me.
As I considered how much I love my kids and all the different ways I attempt to express it with various gifts (especially at birthday time!), of course I had to compare it with the way God loves and parents me. Here are two things I know for sure:
1. As a parent, He gives the BEST gifts. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father..." James 1:17
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:9-11
How much more. What an awesome thought! I understand more.
2. As a parent, He disciplines those He loves. Hmmmm. That doesn't sound like a very warm-and-fuzzy-Jesus-loves-me kind of love. As adults we bristle at the notion of being discplined, don't we? Ok, well I do. To God, though, we are children. His very deeply loved children. Consider what He wants us to know about this:
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as His children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined - and everyone undergoes discipline - you are not legitimate children at all. Moreover, we have all had parents who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! Our parents disciplined us for a little while as they thought best. God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:7-11
I feel myself softening. It's kind of beautiful when its put that way. Could be actually be a gift to me (us) perhaps? Similar to God, Scott and I disciplined our children because we love them, because we had the adult end product of each in mind. It has long been our desire to present them to the world as responsible, unselfish, caring adults who love God more than anything or anyone and live according to the principles outlined in the Bible, a blessed life. (And who call their parents and come home often once they move out.)
(Ok, I just added that last part.)
As each of our kids' 2015 birthdays approach, Drew's tomorrow,
then Ally's in March, 
So what about me? Can I accept and appreciate God's fatherly love for me too - in all its different forms? Even the hard discipline knowing that if I heed it, a harvest of godly character will result? I mean, really lean into it and find comfort there like I always hoped my kids would with us.
Then this prayer stopped me short.
"Father, 'discipline' is not my favorite word. It doesn't sound very tender. But when you discipline it is always for my good. Thank you for treating me, not as a stranger, but as a child in your family. I trust the way you are working in my life."*
Honestly, it took me several read-throughs to pray this without hesitation. I got hung up on your "discipline is always for my good" and "I trust the way you are working in my life." While at first those were a bit difficult to swallow if I'm being honest, my heart soared at the good news, "thank you for treating me...as a child in your family." Light bulb!
Disciplining our kids was not easy either (for them or us) but it was definitely an act of love. As I often say, raising children isn't for wimps and when I see the desired character qualities forming in them, I know it was worth it.
When I finally did pray that prayer enthusiastically, meaning it, relief set in as a whole new Dad-shaped love filled my heart. Accepting and celebrating God's love for me means receiving His parental love in all its many forms, including both the gifts that delight and the discipline that is painful. They are all for my ultimate benefit because He is good and trustworthy. Not just on special days, but every day.
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
Sounds like a party to me! With or without a birthday attached to it. You and I are invited. And all the gifts are for us.
*The Tender Words of God by Ann Spangler
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