Day One

It may be January 8th, but it's still Christmas around here. The temperature outside is well below zero, scoring Ally a two hour delay from school today. Since the radio stations have betrayed me, I have been listening to Pandora Christmas all day. They sure do favor Michael Buble and Bing Crosby. I don't mind. I love it all. I also don't mind seeing this from where I'm sitting.

Makes me happy. I could use some happy. The week started out rough. Ben went back to college signalling the end of the holidays. One of us couldn't be happier that "Now we're back to just the three of us!" but it's a little more complex for a certain someone else.

If that wasn't enough, Scott and I seemed to be a little off. Once we took the time to explore why that might be, it turns out there was nothing to blame, which means it was probably just me.

Yesterday we made a few hospital visits. One to an older lady from our church we'd previously not met who is recovering from painful surgery. The other, a young family we love whose baby had some scary seizures.

When the boys were home they accused Scott and me of becoming 'soft' since they've been gone. Usually this is in regard to their perception of how we are raising Ally (and supposedly how different it is from their experience under our roof - a.k.a.The Truth According To Drew and Ben Burtis) but also that we are more emotional than we used to be.

They're right (about the emotional part only). Tears seem to flow so easily for both Scott and me like when I tried to pray for the sweet little guy in his mom's arms and got choked up, so grateful for the interrupting nurse allowing me a minute to pull myself together.

Part of this rawness I'm sure was from earlier when we were on our way to the hospital. I received a text from a dear friend who got some jarring and unwelcome news that morning. The kind you hope you never receive. I kept it to myself until we were done with our visits and eating lunch. I tried not to sob as I told him about it but was not successful. Soft.

When my friend and I had chatted awhile, these words came off my fingertips onto the screen:

"This is Day One of a new chapter in your life. A different kind of new beginning but you will be discovering new and wonderful things about our dear Jesus that you haven't known yet."

Her response: "I am looking forward to it."
My thought: "I want to be like her when I grow up."

See what I mean about it starting out a rough week? Why would anyone in their right mind take Christmas decorations down and add more sadness? Anyway....

Day One.

I've been thinking about that little phrase over and over since I wrote it. During what seasons - good and bad - do I wish I had the presence of mind to experience with a Day One attitude?

When I got married - Day One as a wife no longer living selfishly for one but sharing everything now until death do us part.

When I found out I was pregnant - Day One of sharing my body and growing a real person inside me.

When Drew, Ben and Ally were born - Day One of being a mommy. Day One of my heart walking around outside my body. Day One of shaping a little life and raising an adult. Day One of not sleeping all night for about fifteen years.

When I miscarried at twenty weeks - Day One of my first up close and personal experience of loss and grieving.

When we bought our first house - Day One of living in the same place for 14 years, the home where we would raise our family.

When we began serving at NSBC - Day One of the best 17 years of ministry at one place.

When family members divorce - Day One of accepting change and rearranging family gatherings.

When Drew left home for college and three years later when Ben followed - Day One of a new normal I knew would one day come but secretly hoped might not.

When we resigned from our jobs without the safety net of new ones - Day One of truly living by faith and not by sight; what I refer to as "the daily bread" stage.

When Drew graduated from college and got married - Day One of him not living in our home anymore. Talk about a family makeover.

None of those Day One's had a predictable outcome. Some of those Day One's we welcomed eagerly, excited for the change they would bring. Others we stumbled into, not knowing what challenges and joys lay ahead. Some we were dragged into against our will and they were painful. Yet others surprised us by bringing good gifts (like a godly, funny, cute daughter-in-law who loves God and our son as wildly as we do).

I can tell you with confidence that in all of these Day One's, God has been faithful, kind and oh-so-loving. He doesn't do everything the way we'd like Him to or when we'd like Him to, but He is always true to His character and promises. He is always present, with His eye on those who love Him.  A deep, growing relationship with us (and you) is always His #1 priority.

Even in the pain, there are joys to be found if we are aware and expecting them. I feel like that's what I do as a full-time job right now.

It's an adventure and a challenge. If I could go back to any of those Day One's listed above, I would be more alert and intentional in how I observed and experienced all that came with them.

I encouraged Brittany recently to be journalling. I wish I could go back and read how I was feeling and what I was doing as a new wife (like what on earth did I cook for Scott those first years before I really learned how? I don't dare ask him for fear he has blocked it out.) and during all those other Day One's. I didn't start writing things down until about ten years into marriage, eight into parenting. My bad. Back then I thought I had a great memory that would serve me in the future. Then I hit age 40. Ahem.

I think being aware, grateful and on the lookout for God's fingerprints is something all of us can do to maximize our life experiences. I laid the challenge out to my friend to notice her Day One as that kind of opportunity. This season she is entering isn't going to yield a conclusion any time soon. She is in for a long haul and a lot of waiting. It will likely be months before a period is put on the end of this sentence in her story.

Just like you, we have more Day One's ahead of us including THE BIG ONE coming up later this year. Day One of the empty nest (picture my aghast expression). God help me, I can't go there right now in January. Be patient, I'm sure you'll be reading more about it than you ever wanted to know.

 Do you have a new situation that just started or is about to? Why not name it...Day One of __________ and go after it with gusto....expecting the Lover and Creator of your soul to be with you in all of it? I love how intentional it is to declare "Day One".

May I press farther by suggesting you write your experiences down? Recording it brings a whole new level of retaining. I promise you'll never regret it. To be honest, my confidence in telling you how faithful God has been throughout my lifetime comes largely from reading my journals.

Did you know that sometimes the best way to get through a dark time is to dump your heart onto the page? Seeing it in writing can somehow lighten the burden a bit. Works for me anyway. Every time. And then to read the stuff that precedes lots of exclamation points!!!! well, that's exciting too. Go ahead, give it a try.

Maybe soon it will be Day One of Christmas Is Over Put The Decorations Away and Move On around here.

Or not.