I have expanded my interest and will pretty much read anything recommended to me. We can learn so much from someone's story. If nothing else, how to be a student of our own. That inspires me.
This summer's first selection is Never Broken by Jewel. She's a popular singer/songwriter. I've likely heard a few of her songs on the radio but to be honest I'm not very familiar with her music. I picked up the book because I learned that her family was the subject of a Netflix show I got interested in last year. Alaska, The Last Frontier.
Her story is so heart wrenching I can't put the book down. This particular passage has my attention.
"Great survivors have the ability to yield, adapt, give. This stopped me in my tracks. My life was not teaching me to yield, it was teaching me to cover up, protect, harden. I felt a panic. Hardening was the opposite of yielding. I walked home deep in thought and wrote in my book, things that don't bend break. This lyric has stayed with me my whole life, reincarnated in many songs. It made such an impression on my soul.
Slow growth meant thoughtful growth. Thoughtful growth meant conscious choices...hard wood grows slowly. If I wanted to grow strong and last, and not be brittle or broken easily, I had a duty to make decisions that were not just good in the moment but good for long-term growth. I would not let myself drink or do drugs because that was a quick fix to escape an uncomfortable feeling. The better thing was to get to the root of what I was feeling. It meant solutions had to be the right ones for long-term happiness - there were no shortcuts. I could not use drugs to numb, I could not use anorexia or bulimia to lose weight, and it also meant not using cynicism to cover my real feelings of anxiety or vulnerability. In a world of cool, casual, hip, and snarky, I knew if I indulged in these feelings, I would sink to the bottom of my life like a stone. I had to respond to my life with vulnerability, sensitivity, honesty, because they were my only real defenses in this dangerous endeavor called surviving life. I vowed to try to remember to take the time to grow slowly. To take the time to make notes and study. To stay in my body even when I was in pain.
I have summoned this motto repeatedly in my life. It helped me...with countless decisions that shaped not just the kind of artist but, more important, the kind of human I would become, as well as the kind of longevity I would have."
I highlighted the sentences that really struck me. I mean, seriously. Where was that kind of self-awareness when I was in my late teens/early twenties? I regret that it was nowhere to be found. One poor, pathetic decision after the next was more of my story. I had no real forward thinking strategies in place. Present choices were not being made with the desired future in mind.
I think this particular portion jumped off the page because I have a daughter at this very same stage of life. How could I not ask myself if we have trained her in wisdom such as this?
Will she know what could cause her to sink to the bottom of her life like a stone and avoid it? Does she know how to make decisions that are not just good for the moment but are best for long term growth? Will she be present enough and hopeful enough to stay in her pain, considering it is part of becoming the kind of person she aspires to be? Or will she self-medicate, run the way the culture around her is running, not giving much thought to a deeper, better life?
I agree that slow growth is lasting growth. In a world of quick results and instant gratification, this will take some self-discipline for people of every age. This is why the practice of sitting down every day in a quiet space to read my Bible, talking and listening to the One who created me and has a good plan for my life, who loves me no matter what, is the most important thing I can do to grow.
A slower pace is really where it's at. Being able to read the road signs posted all around my life requires alertness, paying close attention both to who I am and who God is. This is not acheived by flitting about from one activity, one noise to another.You'd better believe I have read the above paragraphs to my girl. We've discussed them probably longer than she cared to. She didn't roll her eyes though, which is major progress! I want her to benefit now from what took me decades to nail down (slow growth is lasting growth). This is the major calling of my life. I don't think we can talk too much about important things to our kids. My number one go-to parenting verses shows that God thinks so too:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Dt. 6:4-7)
That's a lot of talking. Good thing that comes easy for us Burtis's. Diligence I can do. One of the gifts of raising the next generation is that we can teach them to avoid our mistakes, learn from them and choose better. God makes promises we can count on. I have seen one of my favorites come true in living color. When we are faithful to live according to His Word, He will change the course of generations.
A do-over perhaps and I am so grateful for it.
I'm only about half way through Jewel's book. I hope by the end I read that she has found the truth of the Gospel and accepted it as her own. Man's wisdom can only go so far in the pursuit of a meaningful life but one lived by the wisdom of God is what lasts for eternity.
PS. You should really read someone's story.
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