Twenty six years of marriage. How in the world? Sure doesn't seem like more than a quarter of a century, but then again it does. We've settled into a very comfortable, secure rhythm of love and commitment that takes years to acheive. Don't quit too soon, young marrieds. The good stuff comes with years.It is no coincidence when I picked up my Bible early the morning of our special day, I would read the first few chapters of Job. Look how he was described:
There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. (v.1)
Behind the scenes where God lives, a conversation with Satan occurred. The snake was looking for an opportunity to show God that His true followers only loved Him because He blessed them with a good life...
And the Lord said to Satan, 'Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?' (v. 8)
I don't know about you, but I sure would like God to describe me like that. The drama-filled story continues - you should read it.
As I read the familiar verses and felt Job's pain of bad news upon bad news and loss upon loss, stunned at his unwavering faith in God, both when He gives and when He takes away, I couldn't help but think of my own husband.
Scott can easily be described as Job was. Easily. He is blameless (unless, of course I blame him for something that technically I did). He is upright. He lives by wisdom. No drama. Fun yes, foolishness none. He fears God with the utmost reverence. He turns away from evil. I'm not talking about avoiding those who smoke, drink or chew and go with girls who do. He chooses to stay away from anything that might dishonor God, his family and the church, even in the smallest of decisions. He doesn't flirt with anything that might grieve the Holy Spirit. He will never tell you this, but I've seen him live through some seasons of loss, pain, confusion and silence, and just like Job, Scott did not sin or charge God with wrong. (v.22)
I realize with the freedom of writing my own blog I could blather on proving what a great man Scott Burtis is, but what would be the value for you?
Instead, I want to speak to those of you who are raising boys and young men.
Last weekend I spoke at a women's retreat here at Camp of the Woods. I told the story of how my beloved firstborn Drew pursued, dated and married his wife Brittany. I often tell it because it is extraordinary in my opinion. So unlike the norm of our current culture. Not the only way of course, but a darn good one!
You see, he purposed in his heart (in advance) two things. 1. To not throw the powerful words 'I love you' around until he could back them up with a committment, a promise to love her and only her forever, with an engagement ring.
2. In a bold effort to not take what didn't belong to him before marriage and to protect their purity individually and as a couple, he didn't kiss her until she said yes to the proposal. Two years they dated. No I love you. No kissing. Self control. Delayed gratification. It was countercultural and inspiring. (Very Romans 12:1, 2 - look it up.)
Without fail, whenever I tell this to a group of women, some come up to me and say, "That story about your son is so beautiful. Do you think anyone else is raising sons like that? Will there be a principled young man for my daughter(s) to be loved by?"
It's a good question. Of course it is happening. But there certainly doesn't seem to be a large supply. I'd like to see more. I pray for God to bring this kind of man to the young women I know who are asking and waiting for a blameless and upright man to come into their lives.
Makes me want to throw that challenge out to you. Raise one. Raise more than one if you can. You can do it. But you won't do it by accident.
Model Biblical virture first and then train him how to reach it. Blameless and upright. Fearing God and shunning evil. If you want amazing results, you have to raise the bar up past what is normal, easy and status quo pointing as high as Biblical standards describe.
Convince him the benefits of a blameless, upright life far outweigh the price of slowing down, honoring God first then honoring every girl as one created in God's image for a great purpose. This is done by asking an important question before every decision, "Is there wisdom in this?"
As our favorite preacher Andy Stanley has said, "You can't expect extraordinary kids by raising them just like every one else." Amen.
I sincerely pray for young parents to be intentional in parenting. Stay a step ahead of your kids so you aren't taken by surprise at what's coming next. Recognize that you are raising an adult. Always keep before you the end product that you are aspiring to, and let that guide your decisions, boundaries and expectations.
With constant prayer and instruction from the Bible and the influence and support of wise people you admire, you can raise the next Job. What a gift he will be to the world.
One more thing - just in case. If there are any young men reading this, I throw a different challenge out to you. Become a Job. Don't wait for your friends to agree it's a good idea. You do it. You lead. Stand out and be extraordinary. Love God and turn away from evil. Step up your game. Reach for holiness (be blameless and upright) instead of lingering near the line of 'how little do I have to do and be and still be ok with God?'.
One thing I've always said about Scott Burtis is this: "What you see is what you get. He's the same guy at church as he is at home."
Blameless. Upright. Fears God. Turns away from evil. Continues to trust God when the life he enjoys falls apart for a season.
My sons are blessed to have been raised by a man like Job. I hope yours are too.
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