Now the end of Christmas means all my kids leave home and go back to their own lives, apart from us. That's a whole different ball game. I'm not a big fan (at this moment). So as usual, I'm fighting the post-Christmas blues. Seems a little tougher this year.
I tried explaining this to a few of my new 20-something friends. "It's because for a month or so I've been planning, making lists, choosing recipes, buying presents, decorating the house, baking, cooking, and so much more. Now they are just gone. Poof! And I feel sad."
The girls all sigh, entering into my emotion, and tell me it's going to be ok. The boys sort of look at me like, "Whoa, you're such a mom. Christmas is over. It's not a big deal."
Well, it is to me and I'm not sure I'll ever like the end of it. Scott has picked up on my mood and surely in an effort to comfort, reminded me that our goal has always been to raise responsible adults who are independent and mature. That was as helpful as you can imagine. But he's right and of course I'm grateful. I just wish I didn't love their company so much.
That said, I'm fighting the sadness by 1. Not allowing my feelings to get in the driver's seat and boss me around, and 2. Putting my focus on all the joys of the last few weeks. This is where my ongoing list of blessings, gratitude comes in. As I record and re-read each line, I am reminded that the blessings and the positive always outweigh the negative.
Just a little bonus tidbit you probably already know - late nights and little sleep do not help one discern feelings and thoughts. Rest! (FYI - older kids stay up later, especially when they sleep on an air mattress in your room. Our new place is considerably smaller than our last so every night one of our kids were in with us. One night both boys slept in our room. It was sort of sweet. There was no way I would get away with taking that picture.)
Just a little bonus tidbit you probably already know - late nights and little sleep do not help one discern feelings and thoughts. Rest! (FYI - older kids stay up later, especially when they sleep on an air mattress in your room. Our new place is considerably smaller than our last so every night one of our kids were in with us. One night both boys slept in our room. It was sort of sweet. There was no way I would get away with taking that picture.)
Part of my problem is that I can't figure out where all the days went. It's such a blur. I look at the calendar and think, "When did that happen?" And "What did we do that day?" "How could it have been a week ago?"
Mind you, this is also the first time I've juggled working full time with family time. It was challenging to say the least. I'm not sure I did it well. I know I was fully present in every moment, but I still feel the time slipped through my hands and as hard as I tried, I couldn't make it last or slow down.
It's crazy inside my head sometimes. I honestly don't know how I would survive this life and all the unruly emotions that come with it if I didn't have a Heavenly Father who knows and understands and invites me to cry it out and let Him carry all that for me. Make that for US. He is so good.
We have been spending a lot of time together and that is always time well spent. Nothing is as comforting and reorienting as Jesus and the Bible.
New Years kind of snuck up on me too which was unsettling. I like to know what my new goals and spiritual disciplines will be and get a good start (control freak, much?).
Since I didn't read through the Bible last year, I decided to go that route again. January and Genesis just go together. I believe we need to read the Bible with both a deep and wide approach. Deeply dive into passages and verses studying and lingering on them as long as it takes to understand and apply each. And wide, by reading the whole volume in a concentrated amount of time to get the whole picture. This is the best way to get to know the heart of God, and that's what I want more than anything.
Since I didn't read through the Bible last year, I decided to go that route again. January and Genesis just go together. I believe we need to read the Bible with both a deep and wide approach. Deeply dive into passages and verses studying and lingering on them as long as it takes to understand and apply each. And wide, by reading the whole volume in a concentrated amount of time to get the whole picture. This is the best way to get to know the heart of God, and that's what I want more than anything.
I invited the women I work with to join me and I'm excited that many of them are. If you're interested too, I will leave the link to the plan we are using at the bottom of this post.
So how was your Christmas? I hope you were blessed with peace, love, and God's presence along with fun with family and friends. I wish I could sit with you and hear all about it.
I guess I'll end this post with some pictures from ours. I didn't take too many because older kids don't really want a picture after they open each gift. But if you are interested, this is what it looked like here in the mountains.
Ally came home first and because Scott and I were working, she drove an hour, by herself, to a train station she'd never been to and picked up her brother. Classic expressions pictured here. Ben does not dig selfies, so he rarely cooperates. She never includes both eyes.
Some people get and are not turned off by my love of gift giving and receiving. Many sweet friends sent me special gifts - all of which I love and adore (gift and giver). I got this special package in the mail loaded with goodies for me. I sent a pic to Brittany and she said, about the giver, "She knows you so well!" That's the point. And I am blessed.
Some special friends who mentored us during our first days of marriage, blessed us with this yummy treat. They have not failed to send these chocolates to us every year for 25 years. This is why we are fat, but we are happy!
One of Ben's best childhood buddies came for a 2 day visit. We loved having Josh with us. I always giggle at how close they sit to each other. I hope this friendship lasts forever.
Speaking of Ben, Ally begged him to let her straighten his kinky curly hair. An interesting experiment.
Guess who insisted on helping me open them?
That watch though! If the goal was for me to feel loved, it worked! Thanks my friend, you know who you are and you amaze me.
Speaking of Ben, Ally begged him to let her straighten his kinky curly hair. An interesting experiment.
We decided he looked like he stepped right out of a Guitar Hero game.
I went out on a limb and bought some matchy-matchy clothes for the kids, knowing I was taking a great risk. They have become quite picky about my apparel selections. Turns out I nailed it. Listen up young mothers who think your growing kids will refuse dressing alike again - you just have to get the right clothes!
Yes, Ally's shirt says "fries before guys". For a reason. (Britt's doesn't say that, obviously)
When did they get so grown up?
When the rest of the family arrived, we had a really nice dinner together. Not everyone could come and not everyone is pictured.
A boy and his grandma
Books, of course! I gave Scott those boy and girl skiers because that's going to be us very soon as we take up cross country skiing. It's meant to be prophetic.
Scott gave me the 'wow' gift this year. Something I've always wanted, a personalized photo calendar. It is hanging at my desk at work. I just love it. Each family member is featured on their birthday month. Ahem, even me. Imagine the month of April - two pictures of Angela and no one else. Ew. I don't mean to be ungrateful or insensitive, but people. I guess I'll have to fold that one over when we get there. Can you imagine anyone visiting my desk and seeing a calendar with photos of myself? That sweet man, he means well.
A few days after Christmas some longtime friends came up for a visit. Our kids were little together. Look at them now! We missed you Jesse. We had so much fun catching up, eating and playing games. We talked about God and laughed loud. Bob asks important, deep questions and I love hearing everyone's answers. It was faith building for sure.
Scott was working while Donna & I were home staying warm, I mean, getting the next meal ready.
We worked on New Years Eve. A few of Ally's friends came up to work in the kitchen, eat up our leftovers and play more games. They are nice boys.
Scott worked all over and with the ones who were going to make sure these fell at the right time. They sort of did as we brought in the new year on Newfoundland time (the easternmost place). 10:30pm baby! This is the way to go for those of us who don't like to stay up til midnight.
And shortly thereafter, it was over. All but one has left, and we only have 2 more days with him. It's so bittersweet. So much to be thankful for. We had unending fun watching numerous favorite childhood Christmas movies, playing silly games, reliving memories, talking about important things, and just enjoying one another's company. Gifts upon gifts. Joy and more joy.
After our kids and guests left, the snow arrived. Bad timing.
Winter is here now. So is a new year. New beginnings. A clean slate for God to continue writing the stories of our lives for His glory. Let's be sure to not try and take the pen away or doubt it's accuracy and intent. He knows what He is doing. We can trust all of it will be for our best.
This is a great passage and prayer to start us off...
"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is
before all things and in Him all things hold together.
And so I pray for you asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and
increasing in the knowledge of God.
May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."*
That's enough to chew on for a while. It is the kind of amazing truth and intention that will carry us boldly into the new year, eager to fulfill His calling in our lives. This is my prayer for you and me.
Thank you for reading all the way to the end, indulging me by letting me hold on to Christmas a little bit longer. The sadness has lifted and I'm excited to see what God has planned in the days ahead. I know it will be worth it.
This doesn't mean my Christmas trees are coming down anytime soon or that I'll stop listening to the music in the early mornings. I need a little more time...
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*verses from Colossians 1
(I really love this reading plan because you can read the OT in the morning and the NT in the evening. Is there anything better than getting the Word in your mind first thing and last? No, there isn't. Also, you are given a day off on the weekend to catch up or get ahead.) Please join in. It's not too late.
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