How Are You Doing?

Hey there!  How are you?  I'm coming down off the high of having my college boy home for the weekend.  It wasn't a scheduled visit, which made it all the sweeter.

I had just told Scott that these last five years of my boys being away I have not had to endure the stretch between Labor Day and Thanksgiving without a visit.  This year I knew I would have to and wasn't looking forward to it.  Twelve weeks is a long time and would be a record for me and Ben.  Not one I wanted to set.

I can always tell when I'm at my missing kids limit and need a fix (usually between 5-6 weeks).  In fact, last Monday I was facetiming Ben and may or may not have whined, "Hey, why won't you come home for a visit?"  Not missing a beat, he responded, "Because you didn't give me a car."  Oh yeah.

The next day I went to Bible study where a new friend who also has a son at the same school approached saying, "We are going up to get our son for the weekend and yours is welcome to ride along."  Yee--ha!  I couldn't wait to get home and make plans.

On the way, I had two thoughts.

1.  Good things happen at Bible study.  (Go to Bible study!)

2.  Sometimes God gives us something we want even when we don't ask Him for it.  Just because He loves us.  I was feeling the love.

So we had a glorious weekend enjoying our son's company.  This picture a sweet friend of mine took captures one of my favorite moments even though he was probably making fun of me for something.  I washed up all his laundry, made him some yummy food but could not seem to convince him to read to me or let me read to him any of our collection of Fall scholastic books collected over the years.  I only asked for that one little thing.  Sheesh.

The older I get, the more I'm learning about myself and my patterns.  While truly grateful for the last few days and every chance I'm with my older kids, I still tend to experience some letdown when one of them leaves again.  That's where I found myself today.  Usually it doesn't last too long but long enough for others close to me to notice if you know what I mean.

Additionally, I was a little disappointed that something I was hoping and praying for over the weekend did not happen. Then I woke up this morning to find cloudy skies and when rolled together all this threatened to put me in a grumpy mood.  It so ticks me off when the weather can affect me that way. 

Because this ain't my first rodeo, I know I quickly have to fight the temptation to let this kind of discouragement take me completely over.  If I don't a new, meaner battle emerges - doubt.

As I sat down for quiet time this morning with the Lord, right away I remembered something I heard just last night when I was kind of bored and catching up on some blogs I enjoy.  The author said this and it has been on my mind ever since.

"I'm doing as good as God is making Himself known to me.  I'm a happy girl even if I'm going through a difficult time if God is revealing Himself to me through His Word and through my circumstances and through how He wants to show Himself to me.  I'm the happiest when I read the Scriptures and they seem to come alive to me."

This brought a question to my mind:  How good am I doing?  People ask all the time. What warrants me to respond, "I'm doing good."?  

Is it mood?  Is it circumstance?  Am I good when things are going my way?  When I'm in good health?  When my kids are obedient to me and to the Lord?  When my husband is showing me love in ways I like him to?  When all the bills are paid?  Does it have anything to do with the weather (God forbid)?

What makes me (doing) good?  

You see, had you asked me that question this morning and I felt safe enough to be completely honest, I might have answered, "I'm kind of bummed I won't see Ben for another six weeks." OR "I'm a little sad because I miss Drew and Brittany and they aren't coming home for the holidays." (See how quickly I slide down that slope.)  OR  "I'm disappointed because something I really wanted didn't happen as I hoped."  OR Would I go the other way and say "I'm great" because I want to be positive even though it's really me being phony?

Can I just say here how much it drives me nuts that the high of a great gift or blessing from God can sometimes fade into a longing for the next thing in no time at all?  That quote up there wakes me up and really challenges me in an exciting way.   

I am adopting that measuring stick.  Why?  

Because as I think about it, God IS revealing Himself to me through His Word.  Often.  The Scriptures ARE coming alive when I read them.  Most days I get up from my red chair encouraged and motivated, even happy.  From here on out, that will be enough.

Secondly, I do see Him at work in the lives of others even when I can't see what He's doing in mine (this is why we have to tell each other what God is up to!).  He is revealing Himself to me this way too.  It doesn't make me jealous or feel neglected, it gives me hope.

The truth is if I use that measure - I'm doing as good as God is revealing Himself to me - based on those things - then I am doing good!

What a better way to look at things. That's something solid to stand on, rather than my feelings for any given day.

But wait, that was the easy part.  Did you notice the other phrase that stood out to me as well 'even when I'm going through something difficult'? That is the struggle, isn't it?  I know it is for me.  And here's my frustration, this isn't new news.  I already know all this and you probably do too.  The problem comes when I fail to dwell on it and allow the day's concerns to take over.  Even when....

So much of being an overcomer is mind over matter.  It's what we choose to think about and dwell on in our minds.  No wonder we are encouraged by Paul in Philippians 4:8:

 "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, 

whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

This is why I have to shift my thinking.  Even though I'm going through something difficult and have been for two solid years now, can I say I'm good?  Today 'these things' means to me that in spite of all that's going on or not going on in my life, as long as I can see God in His Word, I'm going to be just fine because it's here that all is right in the world.

Does that make you uncomfortable, cause you to bristle?  Could it be that God hasn't revealed Himself to you in a while?  Therefore you aren't honestly 'doing good'?  

If you've read this far, you know the solution.  Now it's just a matter of doing it.  We need to slow down, sit down, get out our Bibles and invite God to show off.  He does it so well.  Don't wait another minute.

My son was just telling me that he doesn't understand how his roommates can be so messy.  When he asks them, the answer is that they don't have enough time to put their laundry and other piles away (which drives my neat freak crazy).  He said, "Mom, we all have the same amount of time in a day.  How can they say they don't have enough?  They have hours to sit on their phones and computers every night.  I tell them to quit making excuses and just take a few minutes and do it."

Same goes for us, girlfriends.  It doesn't take hours of Bible study to experience God.  If you are new to this, start out small.  Five minutes if that's all you have.  Increase the time as you go.

But if you've been walking with the Lord a long time and find yourself dwelling on the negative and being discouraged much of the time, don't struggle any more.  You need to be in His Word.  I mean really reading it getting to know the God who loves you.  That's the whole goal of the Bible.  The only way those pages come alive to us is if we read them. 

As God begins to reveal Himself to you and you remember to dwell on it through your day, you'll find yourself when asked saying, "I'm good!  Even though things are tough, I'm happy because God is alive and showing Himself to me!".