An Invitation to Lament

What is happening in the world? It seems to be falling apart. Mankind killing mankind. Lies. Deceit. Harshness. Hypocrisy. Deception. Fear mongering. Judgment. Division. Selfish gain. Did I miss anything?

Like you, I'm sure, I keep an eye on the current events around the world each day. The powerful power- hungry preying on those trusting, believing, hoping their best interest is at stake. The senseless, brutal slaughter of the innocent in the wake of evil. 

None of it is new news. It's been happening since man was created. This doesn't comfort. The problem is that it's occurring on our watch, and we don't know what to do so far away. And if we're honest, we fear it will come near and disrupt our carefully crafted peaceful lives.

Growing up in a free country breeds entitlement. I've seen it rear its ugly head in my heart in living color in recent days. I confessed to my husband (and to God) just last week that I am a true American with all the prideful entitlements intact. 

When authority overreaches and tries to take away a freedom, my back arches and my neck cranes and I say, "Well, we're not going to put up with that." If another country tried to invade and take us captive, well, we can't imagine that here in America. We simply can't accept that as a possible reality.

While scrolling through Instagram yesterday, I happened upon a post that I could have written - but not nearly as well - so I'm going to share it in the author's words.

"I love the season of Lent. I think this is a relatively new development; in previous years, I wonder if I was distracted - perhaps in some way rightfully - by the fasting, the "giving up" of something; the sugar, the social media, the soda.

These days, I am more grateful for the chance to lament, so relieved to be guaranteed a season in which I can sit and quietly grieve, in which I can acknowledge without reproach that things are not alright here. We are not okay.

What a relief it is to get to say that aloud, in a chorus alongside the rest of the global church. During our Ash Wednesday service last week, the priest looked at us gently, talking about his rended heart, about what he's witnessed the last two years. "We've behaved badly," he said, and oh, what a balm that truth was to my soul.

A quiet, somber, whispered alleluia for the acknowledgment that we have not handled things well. We are not okay. The world is not as it should be, and we continue to behave badly. But an alleluia, too, for the hope that there is Someone working diligently, powerfully to make things right, to turn our sins into seeds of something better.

Thanks be to God for lament, for repentance, for the chance to try again to make things right with each new day. Thanks be to God for Lent, which comes along right when I seem to need it the very most."*

I felt like crying after reading that honest assessment of the result of corporate sin. I think and talk enough about my personal individual sin, not daring to discuss yours - that's between you and God. But collective, communal, shared sin? Owning the togetherness of it? It's not really in our daily conversation.

Can any of us look back over the last few years and these current days and think we've nailed it? That we don't have something we got wrong to confess as sin? I admit I'm at the front of the line. These crises we've been assaulted with bring out the best and worst in us, for sure.

I have a saying I smirk out regularly that always draws a laugh: "It's not that I have to be right (all the time), it's just that I happen to be." What a joke indeed.

Every morning I sit in our little homemade library by an artificial fire and candle that provides the crackle. I read my Bible, I pray, I think, I practice stillness in God's presence. It's usually a comfortable, joyous time investing in my relationship with God. But since last week, I've purposefully paid more attention to the idea of lament. It's uncomfortable, unsettling, even painful.

Lament defined by the dictionary is: to feel or express grief, sorrow or regret; to mourn deeply for or over. That is what we need.

What a gift if you think about it. To feel and mourn deeply over the suffering and the sin far away from us as well as that in our own backyard. It really is a collective problem. We're all in this together. I do believe it's valuable to sit in it awhile and let lament do its work within.

Of course, we don't stay there for long because we have hope - the rest of the story of our lament and our Lent focus - Jesus and the Gospel of God - the historical event of Jesus, God's sinless, perfect Son, coming to earth as a man to pay the price with his life, suffering and death for our sins fulfilled and available.

Gospel means "good news". This was the good news of great joy the angels sang about in the shepherd fields. All that is needed for us to have a relationship with God is to confess and turn from our sin and put trust in Jesus.

This is what Lent and Easter are all about. Remembering Jesus' fulfilling God's eternal plan to include us in His family if we respond to Him in faith. Jesus' death isn't the whole story though, also His resurrection back to life - the life He is living today!

These days can be difficult to navigate, and the path seems to be getting darker as we gaze into the future. It is right to take the time to lament, to grieve, to feel sorrow and regret, to mourn deeply for our sins and the sins of others.

Lent gives us that annual invitation to lament. And while we do this, the days are marching toward a crescendo of wonder - the most exciting sacred holiday of them all - Easter morning. Look up, friend, it's coming and with it new life for all who believe.

*Annie B. Jones

One final thing, I have a little something for you today. Our family is endeavoring to compile an Easter playlist - each one contributing their faves. I started last week with this song by Andrew Peterson. I won't comment on it in too many words (even though I realllllly want to), just listen. He gets the process of awareness to lament to hope and we need this.

Remember Me

Never Miss A Good Party

Speaking of sacred holidays (ahem, last post), did you know God likes to party? Have you considered that He actually instructed His people to celebrate - including feasting? As in, a command if ignored by those living in Old Testament times, could lead to penalty of excommunication or death? 

It's true. Hold that thought.

A few years ago, during one of my annual trips through the Bible cover to cover, a noticeable theme emerged. (This usually happens, by the way, which is so much fun to discover! I highly recommend.) The pattern started with Abraham back in the first book, Genesis. 

As he endeavored to follow God's instruction to leave his people "and go to the land I'll show you", he made many stops along the journey. He would hold up the whole caravan, build an altar and worship. I mean, many, many times. 

It was so repetitive it seems like he halted every few miles and they were on a looooong journey. One (type A-let's-make-the-best-time kind of person) might think he was running a bit behind. 

In reality, Abraham paused every time God did something remarkable. He couldn't help himself! He had to drop everything and respond.

This theme continues throughout the narrative of the Bible.

Some say Numbers is a boring book, but I beg to differ. There is some good stuff in there - take this passage for example. We pick up in chapter 9 when God's people - the Israelites - were in the desert of Sinai preparing to celebrate their second Passover (the commemoration of God miraculously rescuing them from slavery in Egypt).

As they prepared, the Lord spoke to Moses with some instructions. What stood out to me was in verse 13:

But if anyone who is clean and is not on a journey fails to keep the Passover, that person shall be cut off from his people because he did not bring the Lord's offering at its appointed time; that man shall bear his sin.

We can easily surmise that celebrating big things God has done in the past for His people matters to Him. A skeptic might argue, "What kind of God demands worship? What an ego trip!"

I don't think that's what is happening here. These celebrations are not for Him, they are for us. He knows we are fickle and forgetful and need to be reminded of His goodness. Remembering His faithfulness, His mighty power and outstretched arm, His tireless forgiveness, His generous care and provision, His never-ending, unstoppable love for the people He longs to call His own. This strengthens us for the journey called our lives.

THAT's what the sacred holidays are for! They are God's gifts to us, a sometimes weary, embattled group of followers, caught up in the busyness of our daily responsibilities. Deliberately spaced throughout our calendar year meant to bolster our faith; to draw our eyes and hearts back to His greatness. Included are days of feasting together, singing together, shouting for joy that they get to be in relationship with the one true God. That sounds like fun!

God knows this and in His mercy (notice the absence of condemnation), He leaves no room for excuses. What if someone is out of town or unprepared? See verses 9 -11:

The Lord spoke to Moses, saying, "Speak to the people of Israel, saying, if any one of you or of your descendants is unclean...or is on a long journey he shall still keep the Passover to the Lord. In the second month on the fourteenth day at twilight they shall keep it."

Raincheck. He gave them a six-week window. 

I love this about our Father. He means to delight us. He doesn't want us to miss out. He knows this type of commemorating is actually something we need. It's a recognition for when we fall into the temptation of feeling like everything depends on us (as if we actually keep the world and all our people in it spinning). Consider this a respite, an acknowledgement, that oh yeah God, this is all on You. You made the promises to run the world and take care of your children. You keep the promises. It's not on us! Can I get an amen?

As each festivity approaches, I imagine Jesus in front of me, coaxing me to look back at the history of the Bible and the memories from my own personal experiences since He rescued me from my slavery to sin and self. I stop. (Why is that the hardest thing?) I smile. He smiles. I thank Him. I probably cry for the great mercy I've been shown. I rejoice. Now I, too, want to party!

Then He dares me to follow Him forward in expectation that there will be more. Yes - there will be more. God hasn't stopped working or revealing Himself or rescuing or delighting. We can be as sure of this as we are of what has happened thus far. Remember, worship, anticipate what's next. This is my kind of party!

A solid takeaway is to notice in my own life what God has done, is doing and stop everything to praise Him. And do it often. 

Confession. It always bothers me when I hear some of God's children say, "Yeah, I don't really get into Easter or Christmas."

Here's the thing. Opting out of God's sacred celebrations and remembrances - in group settings with other Jesus followers - says a lot about our heart.

Will God isolate us or strike us dead for not partaking? Probably not. Those Old Testament requirements were fulfilled with Jesus' death and resurrection. 

But make no mistake, if we ignore the party invitation, we will be the ones missing out on blessings He wants to give us. I, for one, am taking no chances on that. I need all the delight and persuasion I can get. Why wouldn't I draw near to the One who wants to give it? 

Our brother Abraham started this parade of celebrating decades before the Israelites joined in with their various feasts and festivals and now it's our turn to take up our place in the rhythm of important God-honoring holidays.

Pssst...did I mention Lent starts tomorrow (see previous post for more on that)? Don't opt out. Because Easter follows on April 17 - I'll have my party hat ready.

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Living Lent

The next best thing on the holiday calendar is on the horizon. For Christians, we are about to move from Ordinary Time to Lent. 

To skip Lent and jump right into Easter is missing depth and richness leading up to the Big Day.

Easter is too monumental to the Christian faith to only give it one day of the year. Impossible! Heart preparation is needed.

Like Advent (my 2nd favorite sacred holiday), Lent is a time to open the doors of our hearts a little wider and understand our Lord a little deeper, so that when Good Friday and eventually Sunday comes, it is not just another day at church, albeit an exciting one bursting with pastel colors and Spring flowers.

Unlike Advent, more characterized by excitement and abundance, this is a more solemn season, meant to be a lament. One can't appreciate the light and the miracle of resurrection without spending a significant amount of time remembering the dark side, the sin, the pain, the rejection, the suffering, the death.

Both holidays - the focus is Jesus.  During Advent, we anticipate His comings to earth (the first 2000 years ago, the 2nd date TBD). During Lent, we walk the footsteps of Jesus to the cross of suffering all the way to the empty tomb. He is risen, hallelujah!

I've heard practicing Lent called spiritual housekeeping: 

Praying (drawing close to God)
Fasting (denying self for a spiritual purpose)
Giving (to the poor what we no longer need)

If I want annual heart transformation and to present God with pure, meaningful worship, it has to cost me something. All spiritual growth does, by the way. 

I actually look forward to fasting (after the initial dread). I look forward to denying self on purpose. I've seen the results and I need this annual purge.

I guess you could consider this my annual invitation for you, too, to open your calendar and heart a little wider. To approach Easter - the holiday that sets Christians apart - and enter into a 40-day journey with Jesus on His path of suffering and death to purchase our salvation with an empty tomb. This is the stuff!

Lent starts next Wednesday, March 2nd. I write today so you have some time to think about it and pray. Make a plan (like a good Type-A personality would!)

Ask God what He has in mind for you, what would make it most meaningful to you and pleasing to Him. How to live Lent. The goal is always to grow closer in our relationship with Him.

This could look like so many things. 

• Focused Bible readings.  Start with any Gospel. That's where the story picks up. In addition, there is no shortage of printed and digital devotional guides that will lead you in awareness of sin, repentance and appreciation. 
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• Fasting from something you will truly miss daily (not something you hate, but something you love and think you can't live without - go big or go home!); denying of self (when you miss it, you trade that desire for prayer).
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• Giving to the poor. Purging our souls of sin and self, also emptying our home of excess. What can we give away to benefit another (both money and stuff)?
  
  

If you've never done anything like this, I'm excited for you. 

Explore some of the ideas above. 

Maybe it will become the (other) Most Wonderful Time of the Year for you too. Who doesn't want that?

Bible reading, prayer
Confession of sin
Fasting
Giving to the poor

We can do this. We need to do this. When we decrease, Jesus will increase and our focus become sharper. (any other 50-somethings out there need some clarity?)

Living Lent is not simply a religious ritual. It's better than that - this is about relationship, relationship, relationship. God wants more of us and the attention we give to sacred holidays is an outward sign of how much we give to Him. It matters. Our efforts will not be wasted.

When we hit the final stretch - Holy Week - we are going to have so much to share with those around us regarding what we've experienced. How real and present God is. How sinful and helpless we are without Him. How mighty and loving Jesus is. 

And that's part of the point - spiritual growth and celebrating sacred holidays is never just for us, it's meant to be shared. 

Finally, when Resurrection Day is upon us and we gather in our churches, we will sing "Up from the Grave He Arose", "He's Alive", and all the other Easter songs with gusto!

Did I mention it's so much more than just a holiday?

Good stuff pictured:

40 Days with Jesus | Lent Study – The Daily Grace Co.

There is a women's and a men's study.

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My Midlife Crisis

I used to think midlife crises belonged to middle aged men tired of driving a family van for decades; eager to trade for something fun and faster to be seen in during the empty nest season. But, not for women. We know how to transition from season to season with grace and ease and contentment, right?

I thought so too, until I lost my footing. Not small changes - work, home, town, church, family (all the biggies, really) - converging at the same time can shake even the steadiest of us. I've spent the last year slowly adjusting. First unemployment (thank you, covid), then moving further away from our grown children and grandchildren. Shifting from working together in Camp ministry every day, my husband has taken his next assignment, pastor of a small local church while I wonder what is next for me. 

I love ministering with Scott at our little church, getting to know our new people and serving them in our small community. But what else am I supposed to be doing? There must be more. Truth be told, I've come to enjoy the quiet and slowness of these eighteen months, hurry in the rearview mirror. Yet, I'm lonely for our growing family and familiar, intimate relationships no longer "on the daily". I worry about becoming stagnant, retreating within. Who knew an extrovert can take on introvert tendencies when secluded or withdrawn for a time?

The dictionary definition of a midlife crisis is "a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45 to 65 years old." Uh oh.

Adding to my restlessness are consecutive memoirs I've feasted on this winter, written by two very different men. One is a man of faith, an established musician, singer, author and gardener; endlessly creative. Another an actor, no faith recorded, who came to fame young, but didn't embrace the Hollywood spotlight; choosing instead a quieter, behind the scenes kind of life, now boasting four different successful career choices. Four! Both gifted with crafting words from memories and experiences into sentences and paragraphs that evoke deep emotions. They moved me. 

I confess, reading their contributions to the world has exacted two responses - first, inspiration! I loved these books and didn't want them to end. And second - the dark side - jealousy. Never a career-minded woman, happily a wife and stay-at-home mom for over two decades, this surprised me. I feel a new stirring inside to learn, to experience, to change, to share something of value; and not keep it to myself.

Here's what I know.

You can't be married to the same man for nearly thirty-two years, still looking forward to spending time together and daily dreading 'til death do us part, without having learned a little something about commitment, forgiveness and conflict resolution that might breathe some new life into weary marriages.

You can't raise three children to adulthood, all married with children of their own, and with their spouses still seeming to enjoy our company and welcome our continued input without some regrets, some wins, some losses, no few regrets and many joyful, hard-won experiences that might help younger moms on their journey. Or encourage older ones (like me) to stay in the game, engaged and intentional.

Most importantly, you can't be in a daily, intimate relationship with the God of the Universe who calls Himself Father, who sent His only Son Jesus to earth to purchase my salvation on the cross dying for MY sins, now called my brother, and then implanted His Holy Spirit, living inside my body to comfort me, instruct me in the ways of Jesus, convict me of sin, and guide me into an obedient, blessed life since I was eighteen years old, without knowing something about this 3-in-1 God that those coming behind need to know.

I also know that was the longest sentence in the history of sentences. Congratulations! You survived it. I appreciate you powering through.

Like Jeremiah of the Old Testament - my paraphrase - there is in my heart a burning fire and I cannot keep it in.

So, I vented and agonized with a few girlfriends who get me and they advised (unbeknownst to the other) we start by meeting back here at this blog, my small corner of the world. It's been a while. I realize there are already a myriad of voices available to you and I don't wish to contribute simply more noise. I pray and hope that what is written here in the days, weeks and months ahead will encourage, comfort, challenge and delight in some way that is personal, important, and enriching to your life.

Please scroll up and subscribe and follow to receive each post in your email (is email still hip?) so you won't have to rely on Facebook algorithms, or my memory to link through many social media platforms. And I'd love for you to share with your friends, family or someone who you think might find it worthwhile.

You can also respond or ask questions in the comments section. How fun would that be to chat together?

I'm glad you're here with me. 

More Winter

I was working at my desk the other morning (I've never had a desk of my own at home and I'm pretty jazzed about it) when I discovered this picture and promptly made it my background. Hadn't seen it in a while; it was taken ten years ago I think. One was home from college, one finishing up high school and the littlest just loving her teenage life.

It was obviously winter. 

As these years (in hindsight) seem to have sprinted by and I miss them, I feel a longing to leave hurry in the rearview mirror. Have you noticed winter is the only season most cannot wait to get through and see end sooner rather than later? The other three can linger as long as they want and we don't complain.

The shift to slow down winter came for me when my first son was finishing his childhood living with us. I left the Christmas tree up longer hoping it would delay the calendar knowing next year he'd only be home for a portion of December. I cheered snow days. I baked a lot. This continued as the other two eventually flew away to adulthood.

Not much has changed in the empty nest, but for different cause. I dig my heels into winter for more reasons than just the pretty snow. Today I heard February described as monochrome, monotonous and anonymous. Yes, this is true. (It sounds so white and colorless.) But the older I get, the more value I find beneath the arctic surface of this season.

Would you believe I recently thought this, "Winter is going to end before I'm ready. There's still things I need to pay attention to, do and enjoy."? I wrote the following in my journal:

It's mid-February and while winter seems to have us by the throat, I know spring rumbles underneath the surface and soon we will hear and see its stirrings - new life will abound everywhere. I will surely love it, but I'm not quite there yet.

 I'm not ready to say goodbye to dark early mornings, sitting in the quiet by an electric fire and crackling candle. I'm not ready to pack away the white lights on evergreen branches in every room of our new house. I still eagerly watch the clock to feast my eyes on blue dusk at the 5:00pm hour. I want to indulge in more orange and cranberry sweets, richly flavored hot drinks and warm comfort food dinners (Joanna Gaines' cookbooks, anyone?) and smell homemade bread wafting through the house. I need more indoor time because once the sun shines warm, I'll want out! 

I pray everyday but winter seems to be more about listening and I need more time to listen and be still before the birds interrupt the silence. I have yarn to knit into mittens and hats and a stack of books saved for a snowy, cold afternoon. I haven't taken enough walks outside, listening to the snow crunch under my boots (even if I fall off the sidewalk and down in a very unflattering, ungraceful heap like last week). Also, I need to finish the Iowa Pine-scented dish soap before I trade it for something fruity and light! In short, I still have room for the wonder and pleasure that winter brings to all five senses.

The Bible tells us God, the Father created every season for a purpose AND that He is the best giver of gifts. Each season is full of gifts He gives us to enjoy and I'm determined not to leave this one unfinished because just like the season of full-time, in house parenting is far behind me, this one will be before I know it too.

And, like all others, I won't be able to go back to add to, modify or do differently.