Take It

A good friend/spiritual mentor of mine told me many years ago that he always has a book on prayer going because his prayer life can always be improved. I've never forgotten that and try to keep that practice myself as my prayer practices, too, can always be improved.

Earlier in the summer, as I wrapped up a slowly savored, wonderful book titled "Deeper" by Dane Ortlund, the author recommended his favorite book on prayer. I perked up. (Little known fact: I can. not. resist a book suggestion.) Naturally, I whipped out my phone, clicked on the Amazon app, and the next day it was on my front porch. I do not take this speed and ease for granted.

I devoured "A Praying Life" by Paul E. Miller and was both encouraged (I'm doing some of these things!) and challenged (girl, what about this?) by it. (Yes, you should grab a copy of both titles. You'll thank me.) Here's a smidge - "Prayer is all about relationship. It's intimate and hints at eternity. Jesus made extravagant promises about prayer. He encourages us to ask boldly and surrender completely. One easier than the other but both necessary together."

In tandem with highlighting page after page, I was living life, you know? And trying to put what I was learning into practice. Then, I attended two funerals in one week of women who loved Jesus and served Him wholeheartedly to the end of their 70-year-old and 91-year-old lives. You know I brought pen and paper to both memorial services. 

A pastor shared how one of these grandmas prayed for her grandchildren. It really stopped me in my tracks and caused me to question if I could pray such a bold prayer: "Lord, you know our hearts and you know the future. If any of my grandchildren are not going to accept Jesus' offer of salvation and live their lives for Him, take them young (before reaching an age of accountability) so they don't receive hell as their final destination." Whoa.

Such an unusual prayer stays with you. I'm not sure how I could tell my children I've chosen to pray this for theirs. It's huge. It's bold.

But it's also smart and eternity driven. It's long game thinking which is what we've always tried to have in front of us while parenting our three. 

This is the stuff of hard-core faith. Eternity is the long game. This lifespan on earth is a blip we're told in comparison. The good stuff, the reward, paradise - is yet to come and what every decision we make, every prayer we speak should point to.

I hear the Spirit whisper (not in actual words, but in my thoughts) that this isn't the only area for such a boss prayer.

A darling young woman I love is standing on the edge of a new relationship with a young man. She met him online and is about to test the waters with an in-person visit. I texted her on the big day. 

"I wrote a poem for you. 

Today's the day-

how shall we pray?"

She giggled. Then we teased it out. She said she was praying bold prayers, so I challenged her to kick it up a notch. "Let's ask God to raise any red flags right away." Check.

I dared plunge deeper. "What if you offered your Father permission to say no? 'Lord, if a relationship with this man will cause my heart to fall away from you, take it. Don't let me have this.'?"

Kind of tests what's in the heart, doesn't it? Don't you wish you had me for a friend?

As always, Holy Spirit doesn't let me get away with this kind of counsel without turning the mirror around. So I asked: What in my life can I offer God to take if it's going to cause my heart to distance myself from Him? What might lure me away from intimacy with God and into self-pleasure, sin even? An entitled expectation that I deserve something or someone perhaps?

Take it.

If I'm worried about living a large life, comfortable, stress-free dream life, worrying and controlling outcomes, working myself to exhaustion to make it happen and not looking to You to write my story, take it. 

If I'm going to stress over investment in my bank account, 401k retirement savings, and what's happening with the stock market, panicking like You won't take care of me, showing no faith in Your promised provision, take it.

If I'm living from pleasure to pleasure insisting on doing things my way failing to consult Your Word and obedience to it, refusing to deny self, disregarding Your boundaries while grabbing what You've not given, and these keep me from loving You with my whole heart, seeking more of You to share with others, take it.

If I'm clinging to another person(s) to validate me, value me, love me as only You can and I fail or forget to make my most important relationship with You, God, built on Your unfailing, covenant love, take it.

I could go on. 

Seems risky, no? Oh, to love Jesus more than any other thing or person. There are endless counterfeits - all hostile and powerful to keep us from devoting ourselves wholeheartedly to the only thing that matters. The Only One who matters.

What do I have to be afraid of? Psalm 84:11 tells me, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly."

And James 1:17 boasts "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights."

Which begs the question, do I believe the Father loves me? Where is THAT written?

If you wonder, I beg you to read the Bible. From cover to cover, you can't miss it. More times than I can count His love and desire for all of mankind to draw near to Him that we may become His people so that He can bless us forever is repeated. Paraphrased yes, but it's there.

The matter comes down to a few questions. Do we trust the love of our Father in heaven and the gifts He chooses to give us (lavish on us as the text reads) to be gratifying and fulfilling enough? More than what we want right now - what's in front of us? Or do we desperately (perhaps impatiently) take or demand what He hasn't given - even if it will cause us to love Him less?

God forbid. 

I am proud of my friend who accepted the challenge to give God control over her new relationship. She's learning that if Jesus can be trusted with her salvation and eternal life, He can be trusted with every area of her earthly life. She's inviting Him to do His will, not just hers (but hoping they are the same, which is totally cool).

The older I get the less I even trust my own prayers - especially the passionate ones where I beg for what I want when I want it the way I want it. I heard it said once that we can't pray for God's will in a situation until we don't care what it is.

Yes, I love that place. His will. Not mine. It's safe. It surrounds me with God's care which never fails. It surprises me with delight and abundance. Don't miss that.

It reminds me of the prayer I shared from the sister above and now add my voice to. Knowing Jesus and living our lives for His glory is the only way to live. If anything, or anyone threatens that level of devotion in my life (or that of those I love), take it. 

I believe our Father esteems and receives that prayer because He digs when His children trust Him. 

Lastly, it must be recorded that looking back and seeing the many things He has taken - some with my invitation and some not (because He protected me) - none of them are missed. Not one. Father knows best.