For the Graduates and the Rest of Us

Last summer, we celebrated countless weddings. I was at HomeGoods every week it seems combing through the kitchen section. One for the couple (and one for me). Not really. Well, sometimes.

This summer seems to be the year of graduations. High school, college, grad school. So many smart people I know! As I write my congratulations and well-wishes in one card (or book!) after another I find myself wanting to pen a volume of counsel and maybe even a few warnings. You know, the "learn from my mistakes" type.

I think back a few decades (ahem) to the shaky end of my high school career and wonder what my party guests could have imparted by way of advice to guide me on my way to adulthood. Something more than just "Great job!", "You did it!" and "Have fun in college!" Wisdom, perhaps, that would have helped in every season. Nuggets I would remember and maybe still need when I got older - like now.

Once firmly planted in my twenties, I began seeking friendships with older women. I didn't have many friends my own age having left high school and its immature drama in the rearview mirror. I was craving something though I couldn't name it at the time.

I accepted every woman's invitation into homes and studies; even inviting myself from time to time. I loved sitting in their kitchens, watching them prepare meals, interact with their husbands, discipline their children, serve at church. I asked endless questions especially from the ones I deemed having "done something right." I wanted what they had.

I understand now I was looking for wisdom. I ached for the ability to make better decisions going forward than I had in the not-too-distant past of adolescence. I had been a teenage trainwreck and needed a new and better path for life going forward. I desired my new faith in and relationship with Jesus to be the focus of it. But how? 

I could answer that question in a myriad of ways. Pray. Read your bible. Love God. Go to church and serve in it. Cultivate authentic relationships with other Christ-followers. Try not to sin. Learn from those further down the road, be obedient to and led by the Spirit and so much more. But for graduates, consider this.

The Book of Proverbs is a good place to start. It's important to know this is not a book of promises, guarantees or formulas for success. Rather, it is a volume of teachings on how to live skillfully, honoring God and others with your one life. 

It was written by the wisest man in history for this purpose:

To know wisdom and instruction,

to understand words of insight,

to receive instruction in wise dealing,

in righteousness, justice and equity,

to give prudence to the simple,

knowledge and discretion to the youth - 

Let the wise hear and increase in learning,

and the one who understands obtain guidance.

Wisdom is not just being smart. It's skill, action and applied knowledge. Did you see all those glorious power words in verses 2-5 of chapter 1 up there? This is the stuff! This is what I wish I knew way back when.

One thing I can say with confidence is that these characteristics don't come by accident. You won't stumble upon them. They require intentionality. They must be pursued and sought out (verbs!)

Proverbs is not just a book of good advice. It's God's invitation to learn wisdom from previous generations; what the older know now that they wish they knew then. 

What have they discovered? The only thing that matters, that delivers joy and meaning is this; knowing God is the chief business of our lives. 

And that's my graduation advice - spend your life getting to know God. And I might add (because I can't just offer one thing), don't waste a minute of it on any lesser things. (Hint: Everything else is a lesser thing.)

Consider your life a house -

By wisdom a house is built,

and by understanding it is established,

by knowledge the rooms are filled

with all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 24:3-4

Knowledge - having the facts.

Understanding - knowing how to discern what the facts mean and how things fit together in the big picture.

Wisdom - knowing how to apply knowledge and understanding into the everyday life of a Christ-follower.

But first, the foundation of the house must be laid, and it is found in 1:7...

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

Fear here is defined as reverence and awe of who God is in relation to who I am and accepting God's idea of right and wrong. It's a moral mindset of "I am not God and don't get to make up the rules."

But there is a second part to the verse,

                                                ...fools despise wisdom and instruction. 

The Bible has plenty to say about the opposite of wisdom - foolishness, folly and where that will take a person. Disappointment, discouragement, broken lives, destruction, disaster and more.

Any questions?

I, for one, want to stay as far away from foolishness and folly as I can get. Imagine arriving at the middle or end of your life and finding you have always been known as a fool? Fear of the Lord, living in awe of who He is and according to His ways is the hands-down better option. It leads to the very best life and benefits everyone around us.

I often repeat to myself and my children a teaching from Andy Stanley that has proven extremely helpful. "In all the decisions you face, ask yourself the following question. 'Based on what you've experienced in the past, your current situation and where you want to end up in the future, is there wisdom in this?'"

Here's the thing I didn't fully comprehend at eighteen years old; every decision I make effects my future and someone else. Heeding that piece of advice could have saved me a good amount of pain and regret.

Not convinced yet? Read the Book of Proverbs for yourself. I triple dog dare you.

Graduates and the rest of us, there are choices before you that require action (verbs!): 

• Wisdom or foolishness? 
• Live according to His word, the Bible, or do things your way? 
• A God-blessed life or a life filled with regrets?

You can't have it both ways. You'll never slide into wisdom by being indifferent, but into foolishness you surely will. I pray you choose well. I'm cheering for you.

P.S. My husband will be preaching through the Proverbs this summer as our church pursues wisdom for living. You can watch messages here or listen to them here.