A Conversation With Myself

Nothing like packing up all your belongings and moving to a new location to make you evaluate your life. Last week, after four months living out of a suitcase and in small accommodations, Scott and I have finally moved into our home here at Camp of the Woods.

Just to be clear from this point forward, anything I write will NOT be a complaint. No one wanted to move and start over more than I. My heart is happy and filled with gratitude.

But friends, moving is hard (insert whining). Oh my back, my feet! Not to mention my emotions. Just under four years ago we engaged in what I then referred to as the big move because we packed up our home of fourteen years. At that time, Drew was home from college and at my side as my lovely assistant while Scott finished one job and started another. Ben and Ally were in school.

In case I've never said it here, Drew is a good son. He's the only person on the planet I know who never complains, about anything! I have no idea where he got it from. Oh wait, maybe his Dad. Come to think of it, Ben doesn't complain much either. (Burtis women need some help in this area.)


Anyway, between he and I, we moved twenty one years of life ninety minutes down the road and had it unpacked and settled in less than three days. I would empty boxes and throw them down the stairs. The kid made all the boxes and packing material disappear while I decorated for Christmas. Don't judge me - we moved on December 16, I had no choice! It ain't easy being Type A. It ain't easy being the child of one either. He does it well. For being Scott's clone, he does seem to have a little of me in him. I know, you'll pray for him.

This time around, it was just me and Scott. Same scenario except now we are both juggling jobs and have no slaves, I mean kids here to do all the things we don't want to do, I mean help us. Ahem. The empty nest is great for some things, not so much for others.

I'd like to tell you it was smooth sailing, but in my heart there was a war going on. Believing by faith for the past year that God would be moving us upon Ally's graduation, I was weeding out unnecessary items for months. You know, the things that don't need to follow us to our next place. I thought I was making a significant dent. Well, as I saw the boxes pile up and the space on the trucks (yes, plural - don't get me started - I'm not even going to tell you we also filled two vans, a trailer and Scott has to go back for one more trip) shrink, I grew more and more agitated. What are we doing with all this stuff?

I may or may not have even muttered, "You know the kids are just going to throw all this out when we die anyway, what are we keeping it for?" I was near meltdown stage for two days, the day we packed the trucks and the day we unpacked them.

I may or may not have wailed things like, "Why do we have all these clothes?" or "Where did we get all these reusable bags? and hangers?" or "Are we ever going to drink out of all these mugs?" or "Who is going to read all these books?" "Under no circumstances are you to allow me to buy another throw blanket or pair of colored tights!" and the biggie... "I declare NO ONE is getting clothes for Christmas this year! Not one item! Not even Christmas jammies!" It's bad here, folks.

In an effort to feel better, I left a pile of garbage at the place we left and I created a whole new one upon arrival (significantly bigger!).

Don't tell Scott, he'll never know what he's missing. I even donated 55 books from my own personal library. That's big!

As good as that purge felt, even it didn't make the problem go away.

I inherently knew it was time to take a step back from my life and evaluate its course. I needed to have a conversation with myself. I don't want to be tied down by stuff. But I love my things. But I don't need all this. But I want it all (...and more if I'm brutally honest). See the war?

Ultimately, I do want to live leaner physically, materially, and spiritually so I can serve the Lord without distraction. Kind of like what the writer of Hebrews suggests in 12:1

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Speaking of a great cloud of witnesses, very recently, in an effort to learn the history of Camp of the Woods, I read a document written by the founder called "Pop Tibbitts' Personal Resolve" formulated in 1907.

I was quite moved by it and sought permission to share it here. This text motivates me to live a more well-ordered and purposeful second half of my life. I hope after you read it, you are inspired too.
I love that it was written in 1907 and yet is timeless and valuable to all generations. See for yourself.


"Whereas my earthly career must be but a few short years and realizing the necessity of a zealous, concentrated and intelligent service for my Maker:

1.  That with God’s help I will live a true life, with one supreme ambition, namely, to do His will and spend my life in unselfish endeavor to present the Gospel of salvation to mankind.

2.  That I will live a quiet, restful life, not anxious nor restless, knowing that “it is not by might nor by power, but by My spirit” that victory and success is won.

3.  That I shall spend a portion of every day in devotional Bible study and communion with Him.

4.  That I will abide in Him so that His presence and power may be revealed through me. 

5.  That my vision of the work and its need shall be as broad as humanity and the redeeming power of Jesus Christ. 

6.  That I shall be stable in my belief, tactful, a living sacrifice, but not fanatical.

7.  That my ambition will not be greater than my judgment in caring for my body, so that I will be able to do the work to which He assigns me.  That I will live, at stated periods, close to nature that my body may be re-created and my soul refreshed.

8.  That I shall endeavor to introduce at least one person to Jesus Christ each day and teach that one to know Him as a personal Savior.  Where a conversation is either inadvisable or impossible, other means to the same end shall be employed, such as tracts and other religious literature.

9.  That I will prize every individual, making no difference as to condition, education or position, knowing that the soul is of more value than the whole world, and that Jesus Christ came to save every sinner, “not willing that any should perish.”

10.  That I shall have true sympathy and compassion for all men, patient with those who are thoughtless, ungrateful and critical; and ever seek to do for others as I believe Christ would do for them and for me.

11.  That I will rely completely upon the Holy Spirit for guidance, instruction and power for service. 

12.  That these simple fundamentals shall be read at least once each week to the end that I may be “steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord.” 

See what I mean? That's good stuff! I highlighted phrases that could use attention in my life. Yes, I know it's nearly all of them. I plan to take some time these next weeks as we head toward a new calendar year, to consider these and possibly create my own Personal Resolve, then endeavor to live it with gusto. I have a feeling I may be stealing some of Pop Tibbits' ideas.

In the meantime, we are almost all unpacked. Nothing left to do but decorate for Christmas.