Two Of My Favorite Things

If you've been reading this blog, a.k.a. my heart, for very long you know I have lots of favorite things. We all do I imagine.

I clocked another birthday of a non-remarkable, albeit still shocking, number this past Sunday. On Friday a dear, sweet, thoughtful, funny friend showed up at my door with her husband, a cake (my favorite kind), a pastry to be saved for my actual birthday morning, a sentimental card with some spending money and a gift of two brand new books. She announced, "We are only staying as long as it takes to order pizza for dinner and eat it with you."

You can imagine my delight. What love! My favorite part? Well, I savored every detail, but of course - the books! This woman has bought me books before and always hits a homerun. She introduced me to Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts a few years ago and it changed my life. Which basically means for any future selections, I pay attention.

Favorite #1 - when someone who knows me presents me with a book specially chosen for me because it reminds her of me. (I totally despise that sentence because it says 'me' four times. Please forgive me. Ugh, there I go again.)

Favorite #2 - when I pick up a new book, begin reading and immediately identify with the author and the content. Like put the book down and have an ugly cry kind of identifying. In other words, I feel like it was written solely for me (narcissist much?) or it's so similar to my current situation that I could have written it myself.

I love when either of those things happen. Both of these favorites collided this weekend and it is glorious. I know God was behind it.

I just have to share a few morsels with you. Get it? Morsels? Bittersweet? Chocolate? Haha - sometimes I crack myself up.

Yeah, I know, don't quit your day job.

First of all, were you able to make out the subtitle? "Thoughts on change, grace, and learning the hard way." That's more bitter than sweet. After reading the title, I lifted my eyes to meet my friend's which were still on me and she said, "I got myself a copy also because I think I need it too." Oh man, I love her. Took the sting right out. This is grace.

Just the prologue alone was so rich I had to read it twice. I wonder if it will resonate with you.

"Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the callouses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, earthy."

Rotten teeth. Check. (Hereditary from my Dad and possibly a lifetime of chocolate sweetness.) Lines on face. Check. (I don't want to talk about it.) Callouses on hands. (Well, do warts count? I have two.) So, check.

Still, the description smells like purpose to me. And I love purpose.

"This is what I've come to believe about change: it's good, in a way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good and failure is good. By that I mean that it's incredibly painful, exponentially more so if you fight it, and also that it has the potential to open you up, to open life up, to deliver you into the palm of God's hand, which is where you wanted to be all along, except that you were too busy pushing and pulling your life into exactly what you thought it should be."

Please tell me that last sentence made you shiver too. If not, go back and read it again. I'll wait for you. Talk about a bittersweet sentence. Be sure and note the beauty in it. Friend, sometimes the truth hurts, but we need to hear it.

With Easter just a stone's throw behind us, resurrection and new life have very much been on my mind lately. Specifically the end of Winter and the newness of Spring. It feels like Scott and I have been in winter figuratively for almost three years now. We ache for new life, new beginnings, new growth.

I often refer to a favorite Bible passage that has been real and relevant to so many areas and seasons of my life. God speaking:

Remember not the former things, 

nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert. Isa. 43:18-19

Wilderness? Desert? New thing. Springs forth. Keep talking, Lord.

Then this:

"I believe that God is making all things new. I believe that Christ overcame death and that pattern is apparent all through life and history: life from death, water from a stone, redemption from failure, connection from alienation. I believe that suffering is part of the narrative, and that nothing really good gets built when everything's easy. I believe that loss and emptiness and confusion often give way to new fullness and wisdom."

Are you still with me? How do you feel about change? Are you fighting a change you didn't want in the first place or waiting for a long awaited change? Me too.

"...change is one of God's greatest gifts and one of His most useful tools.  ...change can push us, pull us, rebuke and remake us. It can show us who we've become, in the worst of ways, and also in the best of ways. ...change is not a function of life's cruelty but instead a function of God's graciousness.

If you dig in and fight the changes, they will smash you to bits. They'll hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you. But if you can find it within yourself, in the wildest of seasons, just for a moment to trust in the goodness of God, who makes it all and holds it all together, you'll find yourself drawn along to a whole new place, and there's truly nothing sweeter. Unclench your fists, unlock your knees and also the door to your heart, take a deep breath, and begin to swim. Begin to let the waves do their work in you."

And that's just the first chapter.

I so get how real the feelings of fear and confusion can be. You probably do too. Why not let's together take this author's advice and trust in the goodness of God, who makes it all and holds it all together, including our lives and hearts? Don't you want to let the waves do their work in you? Remake you? Bring out something new? Oh I do. I do. Pick me!!

I truly believe with all my heart God will eventually reveal that He was up to something good the whole time. Believe that with me.

Keep your eyes open all around you for new growth. After all, the long winter is over - it's Spring - the season for new life. Again the verse above... "Remember not the former things or consider the things of old." New life is in front of us. Hope is in front of us. Keep moving forward. No more looking for it back there behind us. It's not there any more than Jesus is still in the tomb.

Do you not perceive it?


All bold quotes from Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist
italics mine