There Will Come a Day

....when you don't mind your children interrupting.

Almost two weeks ago we had one night, one single meal together with all of our kids at home. Hasn't happened since Christmas Day and no one knows when it will again. That's the thing about children growing up and starting to lead their own lives. These gatherings can become fewer and farther between. You take what you can get whenever you can get it.

We had some time to prepare. I created a menu and did the grocery shopping. I set the table, changed sheets on all the beds and set out clean towels in anticipation of their arrival. (This is my happy place!) Most importantly, Scott and I discussed what we wanted to talk about at dinner.

Sound kind of nerdy, Type A, controlfreakish? It probably is but dinnertime has always been our preferred window to "talk about important things" with everyone at the same time.

When they were young this was a challenge as they eagerly (and constantly as I recall) interrupted any coherent thoughts we were trying to string together. I wondered if the day would ever come when Drew, Ben and Ally would simply fold their hands and listen, gazing adoringly and intently at their loving, albeit long-winded parents.

Ahem. Oh sorry, I was daydreaming there for a minute.

Once they became teenagers, the interruptions did decrease some, but there was enough eye rolling to make even a strong-willed parent give up. When we would ask questions, answers were brief and sometimes awkward.

Let me put it this way, it wasn't their favorite thing to do. They poked fun and accused us of preaching, perhaps somewhat dreading what they called "sermon time".

We pressed on. What we know now is that they were indeed listening.

Back to our one night. After we had eaten, they had sufficiently made fun of us, we exhausted the nonsense topics (like sports) and caught up with the details of our day to day lives, I quietly got up and got my Bible. A few of the whippersnappers encouraged the others to get comfortable. I ignored them. Scott began to talk. Good stuff about life, their future and what the Bible says they can expect as Jesus-following adults.

Before I could get to my two cents (or 50 give or take), Drew stood and fetched his Bible declaring, "I've got something I want to say". He proceeded to basically teach us the lesson he taught his kids in youth group the previous Sunday.

Next Scott turned to Drew, "Let me see your Bible" and began bouncing more off what Drew shared. Ping pong at the table.

Finally, they let me get my words in. Before I could declare dinner over and release them from the table, the greatest thing in all of Burtis history happened.

Drew grabbed his Bible back from Scott, "Wait, I'm not done. Uh-oh! Looks like I'm turning into Mom". He then flashed me the grin I can't resist. I know he meant it as a diss and to get an Amen or sigh from his brother and sister (which he did) but I loved it. Since he's nearly a 100% clone of his father, I'll take any maternal  likeness he will admit to.

I don't know how much more time passed. I didn't care! Ben talked about how God has amazingly provided funds from anonymous givers for his upcoming mission trip to Poland. The girls could hardly get a word in but I think we all left the table with more than just full stomachs.

In the quiet of our room after we turned the lights off a few hours later, Scott and I looked at each other and grinned with tears in our eyes. This is what it's all about. All those years of talking, sharing, preaching, whatever you want to call it, is bearing fruit. It has sunk in. We thanked God for letting us raise these people.

Even though we have all frustrated and disappointed each other in this family often enough, I think most of the time our kids want to please Scott and me. I also know they like hearing we are proud of them especially in regards to their spiritual character.

Our house has since emptied back to three - soon to dwindle to the original two - and I sit in my chair remembering that night with a deep down happiness. As Easter approaches I continue to read through the Gospels. Daily reminded how Jesus invites anyone who will listen to experience the love of God, His Father. Now my Father too. An a-ha moment overwhelms me.

If I, a mere sinful, flawed but loved woman experience this much joy when my children follow the path we have marked for them and make even the slightest turn toward God in their lives, surely God feels the same way when I make that same effort.

He is the perfect parent after all. He loves His children with a pure, unselfish love, something I certainly can't offer mine. When we choose Him, He is proud of us. I think He smiles and even high-fives Jesus and the Holy Spirit every time we are more enamored with Him than the world of temptations around us. When we read His Word, obey it and let it change us. When we share it with others.

When we live our lives with our full attention facing in His direction, I believe His chest puffs up with pride. 

Just the thought of that makes me happy. And motivated.

Often when moms of children younger than mine ask for parenting advice, I point them to several Bible passages that gave (and give) us focus and direction. My first and favorite is Deuteronomy 6:6-7. Here Moses is giving the children of Israel the Ten Commandments and advising them how to raise their young.

 "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Dinnertime sermons. I can't overstress the importance of these regularly scheduled conversations. They are opportunities to train and pour into our kids in non-conflict moments.

If they groan, roll their eyes and their body language makes the experience miserable for everyone (like ours sometimes did), do it anyway. And keep doing it. Even though they selfishly interrupt to distract you in hopes of making the time go faster, take heart, they are listening.

Later when they are grown, they may not only interrupt, but hijack the whole conversation and you will welcome it, sit back and be amazed at what God has done in their hearts.

PS. They still relentlessly make fun of us. Make that me. One of them took this shot while I was simply trying to get a good pic of everyone. I think it's obvious who the guilty party is. A spanking is not out of the question.