Our Kids Are Now Calling Him "The Rev"

So I did something yesterday I've never done before.  I sat in on my husband's ordination council.  

Some back information in case you are new to this, Scott has been licensed to preach for more than twenty years now, which is the initial step of a church recognizing the calling and gifts for ministry. 

Ordination, on the other hand, is more formal where the church is putting its "stamp of approval" on him.  It says that he's been examined and has given evidence of doctrine, calling and gifts that are suitable for ministry.  It's saying that a man is not a novice, but has been tested in ministry and found faithful.

In preparation, Scott wrote a paper on all his doctrinal beliefs supporting each from the Scriptures.  Then a council of peers, already ordained, convenes for a period of questioning the candidate.  They can ask him any question about pretty much anything pertaining to his call to ministry, his doctrinal beliefs, you name it.

That was yesterday.  Since wives are welcome to attend, Scott asked me to come.  For some reason, I believed George Miller, our former pastor and the moderator for the council when he said it would be fun. 

Not so much.  He also said it would take no longer than three hours and then the men would meet afterwards to discuss and vote on the outcome.  He was right on the money on that one.  Three very long hours.

About 16 men gathered.  I sat in the back as quiet as a church mouse.  It didn't take long for me to want to get out as quickly as possible.  As the questions kept coming and Scott was on the hot seat, I felt like throwing up.

It reminded me of the time I had a few hours to kill so I camped out in the high school gymnasium while Drew's varsity basketball practice was going on.  Big mistake.  To this day the coach laughs his sinister (and funny) laugh about what I observed that day and never did again.

It wasn't that the men were particularly hard on him, no it was something else.  The Apostle Paul's instructions to young Timothy were coming alive before my eyes. 

• "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

• In regards to sound teaching, "Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you - guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us." 2 Timothy 1:14

• And from Peter, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." 1 Peter 3:15

I was completely struck with the gravity of the importance of this process and the heavy weight of the mantle my husband was picking up - being approved to preach the Gospel.

The time seemed to go so slowly and to be honest I couldn't wait for it to be over.  It's not that Scott wasn't doing a great job answering the questions, he was.  I was so proud of him and how firm his beliefs are.  He must be the most humble man I know.

I even cried a few times like when Scott testified to how much our time at North Syracuse Baptist Church (17 years) means to both of us.  Then again when he was asked what is the area he feels the enemy is trying to discourage him the most in right now.

Just what a group of men were hoping for, a weepy wife in the back of the room. 

Eventually, they dismissed us so they could have their meeting.  We walked out and I started breathing again.  Because of the nature of many of the questions, it was hard to discern how he did.

Before too long, they sent a happy looking representative to collect us.  I opted out of going back in.  I didn't think I had it in me.  Minutes later, the same smiley face came out and said they wanted me back too.  Really?  I resisted whining.

They had me sit in the chairs up front with Scott.  Thankfully they didn't make us wait too long to tell us that by unanimous decision, Scott will be ordained Sunday night.  Talk about "WHEW"!  Unanimous is my new favorite word.  Looking around the room at these men we appreciate so much and seeing their huge smiles in congratulations changed my perception of the day's events.

I was relieved and didn't expect what came next.  The men gathered around Scott and me to pray for us.  The designated pray-er was one of my favorite people in the room.  Have I ever mentioned the power of words?  I may never forget some of the ones that stood out in that prayer.  On behalf of all of them he affirmed our gifts and call to ministry and he declared their full support of God's work in our lives right now.  Full support.  Right now. 

Guess what happened next?  Waterworks.  Again.  And I had no tissues, nothing.  Just a bunch of noisy bracelets clanging as I tried to discreetly sop up my face with my hand.  Skin on skin really doesn't work.

Sometimes it ain't easy being a girl in a man's world.  But I'm glad I was today.

I didn't go in expecting to be blessed by God, but that's how I walked out.  Nothing quite like seeing a group of respected, godly men clapping your beloved husband on the back and giving him man hugs.

So what's next?  An ordination service.  It will be held at North Syracuse Baptist Church this coming Sunday night (June 22nd) at 6pm with a reception to follow.  Some of the men from the council will speak and our daughter Ally is going to sing.

If you're in the area, I'd like to invite you to come.  God may just bless you too.  I can't promise there won't be crying because some people clearly can't control themselves, but I am fairly certain no one will have the urge to throw up.

The Time Of My Life

Ten days and counting until our oldest son gets married and leaves our nest forever.  Everything is pretty much done but the waiting.  Friends ask me how I'm doing, if I'm ready and what I'm feeling as the Big Day approaches.  In all honesty, I've answered that I'm excited and ready.

It's a beautiful and wonderful gift when your child chooses the kind of mate you envision him to have.  God didn't skimp on the details when He brought Brittany to Drew.  We couldn't have chosen better for him even if he would have let us!

We told our kids years ago that when they begin dating and seeking a mate that this person has to love Scott and me and we have to love that person.  Because if they don't love his family, our child will always have to choose between her/him and us.  Naturally, they will  choose their mate. How heartbreaking would that be? We are happy to report that there is a mutual love fest going on between Brittany and Scott and me.  It's so glorious and makes all the difference in this ultimate letting go.

Scott and I have been given a great gift these last six weeks.  Our boy has been living at home since he graduated from college back in May.  We've had gobs of time to spend together with all different combinations of our family members.  I think it's fair to say I've had the most one-on-one time with Drew (as the mama should!).  Don't feel sorry for Scott, he gets boy time every night watching sports on tv.

Drew and I have talked about everything from wedding details, their first home and ministry in Indiana and what we think it takes to grow a strong, lifelong marriage.  Sometimes we just sit quietly.  I've taught him how to cook some of his favorite meals.  He has relentlessly teased and made fun of me.  (I may or may not have given some of it right back.)

We've sorted all the shower gifts and repacked them to go on a moving truck.  Packing his room has proven challenging for one of us, so he does that alone. We've shopped for honeymoon clothes.  We've revisited all the silly family jokes that crack us up. We've worked out together (he slows his pace to stay with me).  We've selected all the wedding and reception music. 

I told one friend it's just like it was before Ben was born.  Me and my little buddy.  He hasn't let me read to him though.

At the end of each day and many times throughout, I've exhaled thanks to God.  The enormity of this gift of time is not lost on me.  God knows me.  He has generously given me weeks of time to spend with my boy before I hand him to his new and forever caregiver, companion and love.  He didn't have to.  It could have been a quick visit like what we've lived these past four years, but God is so good.

I see now that I needed this time to really see and appreciate that Drew has grown into a man (gulp).  He's capable of taking a wife and caring for her now.  He can hold down a job, earn a wage and love another selflessly.  The time is right.

Scott is going to marry Drew and Brittany.  I've overheard some details as the ceremony is planned.  My husband has been cool as a cucumber up until now but he has yet to write his charge to the bride and groom.  Says he just has too many words (a common Burtis problem).  I know he'll see that little blond mini-me of his standing before him at the altar next Saturday and wonder how we got here so quickly.  People, it's going to get emotional. 

And me, the mother of the groom? Well all I have to do is dance with the groom.  The Mother/Son dance.  Piece of cake.  Yeah right.  Choosing the song has proven to be a long process.  I've been thinking about this for months.  Is there just one song that can absorb 22 years of memories and emotion?  Probably not, but I think I've got it.  And no, I'm not going to reveal it here.  Check back for post-wedding recap in a few weeks.

So then there's yesterday and today.  I haven't felt quite right.  Not unhappy, not depressed, just a little off.  Albeit a slow learner, I am becoming better at checking my emotional temperature and recognize the familiar unsettled feeling that comes over me a few days before my kids go back to college.  Yuck.

You see, Monday Drew leaves us to head to Connecticut to spend the last few days before the wedding with Brittany's family, helping with whatever they need done.  Half of me thinks, "Yay!  We are getting closer!"  Then there's this other part.  Not to be a drama queen, but it will signify the end of his living here in our home as just a boy (not part of a couple).  So I figured that was it.  No problem, it will pass.

Remember how I said I've been doing fine?  Ya, about that.  I was out getting groceries and scanning through the radio stations barely listening.  It stopped on an old familiar song.  Before the first line was completely sung hot tears streamed down my face and my throat nearly closed.  What on earth? 

I guess I've never heard that song in this particular context before.  It won't be a song we dance to at the wedding, but I experienced something powerful in just seven words. I bet you've heard it before.

"I've....had......the time of my life"

Boom.  See what I mean?  Those are some loaded words and they sum up exactly how I feel.

I have had the time of my life raising this son and watching God grow him into a young man who I love deeply, enjoy tremendously, truly admire and am fiercely proud of.  I am going to miss him. He is the constant character in all the firsts of my experience as a mother.  He is the first piece of my heart to walk around this earth outside of my body. We share the same last name and we share history.

No wonder the tears appeared.  When it all comes down, they are happy tears.  I'm glad I got them out again today.  Will it be the last time?  Nobody knows.  But as for me, I feel all sorts of joy....it's time to get on with the wedding and the celebrating!