Confessions of an overeating shopaholic self-indulgent woman in desperate pursuit of God's holiness

Hey friends, I hope you're doing well today.  All this sunny warm weather makes me long for Spring...and Easter.  I've got a few things on my mind today.  I don't know about you - but I sort of over-do most everything in my life.  If a little is good, more is better, right?  This can be so easy and very fun when eating at an all-you-can-eat buffet, finding a jam-packed clearance section in my favorite store or going overboard (kind of) redecorating my house for every season.  To put it bluntly, I'm an overeating, shopaholic, seasonally-driven home decorator.  As my kids would say, "I go hard."

 Like the pic above...I could eat that whole party mix (well, leaving the pretzels at the bottom, of course!) or like here where I'm making a cake and touching up the living room paint before company arrives - doesn't everyone do that??

The question needs to be asked, "When is enough, enough?"  Indulgence is not always our friend.

I read and have been re-reading this quote daily for a little bit now.  "Each day God can be the perfect portion of everything we need - every longing we have, every desperate desire our souls cry out for. God will be our portion."

I believe it is based on these verses:  Lamentations 3:24 "The LORD is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him." and  Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Sometimes exercising the discipline of fasting can bring my portion control issues into the spotlight. Just like when you're a kid and your parents say you can't have something or aren't allowed to do something you want to do...what happens?  You want it more than ever!!  I find in adulthood this hasn't changed this much unfortunately.

When I attempt to set up boundaries for a spiritual purpose - my weaknesses are suddenly thrust into the spotlight. This makes me ultra thankful that God has already provided a way of escape for the many areas where I'm tempted to overindulge.  (1 Cor. 10:13)  The LORD is my portion.  He is enough.  He is more than enough.  When I fill up all my desires with Him, I can resist the counterfeits.

I like how Lysa Terkeurst words it, "Making the connection between my daily disciplines with food (or shopping, etc - add your guilty pleasure here) and my desire to pursue holiness is crucial.  Holiness doesn't just deal with my spiritual life; it very much deals with my physical life as well.

It is good for God's people to be put in a place of longing so they feel a slight desperation.  Only then can we be empty enough and open enough to discover the holiness we were made for.  When we are stuffed full of other things and never allow ourselves to be in a place of longing, we don't recognize the deeper spiritual battle going on.

Satan wants to keep us distracted by chasing one temporary filling after another.  God wants us to step back and let the emptying process have its way until we start desiring a holier approach to life."*

As we are nearing Easter, consider that Christ emptied Himself for us, gave up everything, to call out a people of His own to display His holiness. How does my appetite for the world and all it has to offer compare with my appetite for God and His holiness?  Is there something I can empty out of my life so that He can fill it with more of Himself? What would happen if everyday I started out with the prayer, "Lord, be my portion today.  Fill me with the good things you have provided for me - and help me turn down any offer that keeps me from depending on you to fulfill my every desire."?

Ann Voskamp writes, "Why feed the flesh and fast the soul – instead of fasting the flesh and feasting the soul – and on God? I’m a soul, not a body, and a soul can starve to death when it feasts only on this world.  When the ache of our soul craves communion with our Savior more than consuming more stuff, our realest self – not our bodies, but our souls — feast on joy.  And God is satisfied."**

"Crave means to long for; want greatly; desire eagerly.  Pursuing holiness means God is the only One we should long for; want greatly; desire greatly.  The Only One worthy of our worship."*  I want to crave God more than I crave any other thing, person, emotional need, don't you?  He is enough.  He is more than enough.  He is the perfect portion of everything we need.  Let's overindulge on the things of the Spirit.  Truly, they are the only things that really matter.

*quotes from Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst
**from Ann Voskamp's blog www.aholyexperience.com