I've been missing Ben this week. Our middle child has been living in Syracuse, attending school there to stay eligible to play basketball through the end of the season. Without us. I'm not worried about him. He's staying with loving, capable, generous friends. They are taking good care of him. But I miss him. I miss us. The 4 of us together at the end of each day around the dinner table. Being the first one he sees when he wakes up and the last before he goes to sleep at night.
I've been rehearsing "I trust you, God" every time I begin to worry about how he'll be away which results in how much further behind he gets at his new school. (Today marks 3 weeks). It is an out loud way for me to emphasize that I really do trust Him. I truly do believe that even though we are apart, God has got us safely in His hand and is working His plan in all of our lives. And that this basketball season will end. :) I'm exercising that belief by thanking Him for all of this in spite of my ambivalent feelings. Radical, no? You see I've been taught that we must give thanks in all things (1 Thess. 5:18). Usually when we choose gratitude for what we don't necessarily want....He returns with blessing.
Last night the blessing came. Scott was at worship team practice and Ally and I were home together. We were watching "Soul Surfer". She saw it a while ago and wanted me to as well. The further we got into the movie, the closer Ally got to me on the couch. By the last half hour we were sharing the same blanket and she was wrapped around me. Love. I thanked God. While Ben is away, she and I are getting loads of time just the two of us. Uninterrupted conversations. My undivided attention in her direction. Laughter. Respect. For each other. It's changed us. Our relationship is maturing and most pleasurable. It was not always this way.
God answers prayers. Like the many years of desperate prayers from a worn out mother who has tried everything she knows to reach the strong-willed child. Repeating over and over "I thank you in advance for completing the good work You started in her"* shifts the heart from discouraged to hopeful. Trusting even when no results are visible. God is at work. He is always at work. Sometimes we just have to wait to see it. Paying attention is key. Often it comes through a deficit in another area. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I'm doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" Isa. 43:18,19
*Philippians 1:6
2 comments:
Love the encourgment on where we should let our focus fall and with what kind of heart. really really love all the Ally and mama time you have been getting. xoxox
Years of prayer, wow..... - kudos to you for remaining steadfast and giving thanks. So hard to do sometimes.
Praising God this morning for the blessing and fruit you are seeing in your relationship with your "little" girl! Love how He works it all out - yes, you miss Ben, but He is using this time to bless you in another way. He is so good!
Post a Comment