Birthdays are for Reflecting

Very soon our family will reach yet another milestone.  Son #1 turns 20.  Of course, as we always say, "It seems just like yesterday he was born.  Where has the time gone?"  So much of family life rises and falls on the life of the firstborn.  Truly, they are the family guinea pigs, aren't they?  I wonder sometimes if we were harder on Drew than Ben and Ally.  He had to wait longer for things all his friends had or could do, because we wanted to make sure we were making the best decisions for him.  And we didn't want the next two to expect something that we later regretted allowing.  He was disciplined sooner and perhaps more severely because we wanted to set the "tolerance tone" for the other two to follow.  We encouraged his independence early and often, but with the other two maybe a little more reluctantly in an effort to hang on to their childhood a little longer because now we know (thanks to you, Drew) that they grow up and leave all too soon.

However, on the positive side, we rarely took our eyes off of Drew. We sterilized his pacifier when it fell on the floor, and just blew on Ben and Ally's.  We took way more pictures and video of him than the other two, because he was the star of the show and didn't have to compete for our attention like they have.  This was never more evident than Drew's senior year of high school when parents have to dig through pictures and make slide shows and poster board collages of their kids' life.  The amount of pics I found was, well, ridiculous.  Not to mention that his siblings insist that the only time I bake homemade rolls and cinnamon buns and stock the house with "good food" is when Drew's home from college.  (For the record, I categorically deny that accusation.)  I find myself saying frequently, "He's not the favorite, he's just the first!"

A few years ago, when he turned 16, I wrote down a bit of what was going on in my heart.  You can read that here.

This year, my heart isn't as "sad" as 4 years ago.  Instead, we feel blessed having watched this son grow out of what we affectionately call "the stupid stage" of adolescence into a fine, young man that any two parents would be proud of.  No, he's not perfect or sinless (none of us are) and still teases his younger siblings :) and chooses the flesh over the spirit at times, but his maturity - spiritual and otherwise - is noteworthy.  And we thank God for promises in His Word like if we train them up in the way they should go, they will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). And also, that He will be faithful to us by showing His love to a thousand generations (Ex. 20:6).  Truly, there is no greater joy than to see your children walk in the truth (3John 4).

So, parents, if you find yourself in the midst of parenting little ones a little frustrated by the day to day tedious tasks that go with it and wonder if this stage will ever end or make a difference, take heart!  Not only will it pass all too quickly, but every effort you make toward raising your children to love and follow Jesus will not go unnoticed  by God.  He delights in all of it - especially when it's a sacrifice because we are too tired and just don't feel like it.  Be encouraged and be strengthened - your God is pleased!

Or if you find yourselves trying to put the brakes on because you're kids are growing up too fast, relax.  Live fully in each moment, giving thanks for the good, the bad and the ugly.  Rest in the fact that when they leave, God will take good care of them.  He will do a maturing work in them that maybe can't be done under a parent's watchful eye (or mouth, as in my case).  He dreamed up each one of our children and truly does love them more and with a purer love than even the most adoring parent can produce.  He has a great plan for their lives (Jer. 29:11)...and that is what we choose to celebrate as our little guy turns 20 this weekend.

Happy 20th Birthday Drew!