Millstones, Holiness and our Children

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Parenting in the year 2008. Not an easy task. Many of you know this because you’re in it too. Some of you aren’t moms or your kids are grown. Stick with me. I think there’s something here for all of us.

A young friend and I are reading a book together. It is Amy Carmichael’s biography written by Elisabeth Elliott titled “A Chance to Die”. Are you familiar with her story? Amy was a missionary in several countries throughout her life, but mostly she served in India. Never married, God called her to start orphanages for children dedicated to temple worship of idols. Nasty stuff. One might think God would use someone with parenting experience, but he chose Amy. Don’t you love that about Him? He doesn’t limit our opportunities to prior experience or man-made obstacles.

These last few chapters my single girlfriend and I have discussed have spoken to me deeply regarding my season of parenting. Living with a 16, 13 and 11 year old keeps you swimming in it pretty much 24/7. Just the other night after giving a familiar ‘lecture’ I thought, “This is hard work”.

Who would think I could glean some great ideas from a single woman raising many, many orphan children back in the 18-1900’s? I thought it might be worth sharing with my friends. If you’re not a mom – don’t stop reading. You don’t have to have biological children in your home to be an influence to those younger. You have an incredible ministry to all the children in your life. And you have a responsibility to pass down God’s faithfulness to the next generation – mother or not.

Here’s some of the encouragement and exhortation (some hurts) I’ve read:

“Let those parents that desire holy children learn to make them possessors of heaven and earth…. To remove silly objects from before them, to magnify nothing but what is great indeed, and to talk of God to them, and of His works and ways before they can either speak or go.”

Talking to my children of God and of His works and ways is not a big challenge for me. I probably overdo it if anything. (If you know me, you know I rarely lack words!) It’s the middle that challenges me. “To remove silly objects from before them and to magnify nothing but what is great indeed.” Only God is great and worthy of magnification. So what silly objects am I allowing to crowd their lives and/or take a much larger place in their view? TV shows? Sports? Pop culture? Possessions?

I think there ‘s a fine line between being aware of the current culture we find ourselves living in and not allowing ourselves to be conformed to this world. The line is choosing holiness. We don’t have to saturate our lives or allow our children to be indoctrinated by this world’s values in order to be relevant. Rather, we need to go overboard the other way in stressing the importance of “being holy as God is holy.”

God has something to say about this in the book of Romans: “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out…unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” (12:2, MSG)

Are we powerless to fight the culture and its seduction of our children? I don’t think so. More from Amy’s life: “Amy, as always, was zealously protective of her children, fearing European influences that would contribute nothing to their spiritual welfare.” Heavens! Do I fear American influences or do I simply accept its contributions that add nothing to my child’s spiritual welfare? (at present, I can’t help but think of Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Youtube videos, the new Batman movie, etc. They may not necessarily be “evil”, but do they add anything of spiritual content?) These are the kind of things I like to refer to as ‘why bother things’. For example; white wedding cake with white frosting is ‘why bother’ cake to me. What’s the point? No chocolate, no value to me. You get the idea.

“Always in her (Amy’s) consciousness was the solemn charge that was hers as one accountable to God for these little ones. It were better that a millstone be hung round her neck than for her to cause one of them to stumble.”

Of course, the verse she’s referring to here is Luke 17:2 “It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.” The context here is Jesus warning his disciples not to live in such a way that would cause others to sin. Whew. Usually when I’ve considered this verse I’ve applied it to child abusers. Well, what if God had a broader scope in mind?

What if he means for us to be expecting (like Amy) repercussions for the slightest stumble we caused our children? What if some of the “lesser things” I allow to inhabit our home, minds and hearts are actually avenues of a present or future road to sin for my kids? And I’m going to answer for it one day? I’m thinking I need to pay closer attention – always conscious that I will be accountable! I can’t risk a sloppy approach to the Biblical expectation of holiness. I need to be on guard and more aware of the silly objects that I allow to be magnified as any level of importance and/or preference over the spiritual.

We simply can’t risk this, girlfriends. We serve a holy God who has called us to participate in His holiness. Set apart; different; reflecting His glory in every area. If I’m motivated about anything in my life right now it is the strong drive/desire to raise holy children. I want to passionately complete my God-given responsibility of passing on His faithfulness and the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the next generation. I want to be totally sold out to the task. Preoccupied with it. But, of course, it can be just words unless my life matches up to what I preach. Obedience is a choice. Godliness is not something that will happen to us accidentally. We must be intentionally pursuing it with every choice made.

One more thought from the book: “Amy Carmichael’s aim: to lead children out of themselves and into service for others, ‘untarnished by earthly thoughts.’”

That seems like a good place to start. Let’s band together in this quest. Let’s not let the lesser things of this world eclipse the greatness of God and His Kingdom to come. We need to magnify Him above all else! Ask God to help you clean up your life and then model it for your children, grandchildren and/or all the children who know you. Let’s be unimpressed with and undistracted by what this culture has to offer. Instead, let’s be expectant of the what’s to come! We were created for heaven, you know! We’re just passing through our time on Earth. It would be best not to get too planted here. I’d rather deny self now and enter heaven with fewer regrets, wouldn’t you? One day we will see Him as He is – and then we will know what impressed means!!

PS - This is why we should read missionary biographies (even old ones) once in a while. They can have so much relevancy into our situations. Thanks, Amy!