I Want to be Different in 2012

I wrote this 2 days before New Year's Day 2012.

 This is the time of  year to shake off the post-Christmas blues and start looking toward a fresh start.  I love change and I love a new beginning.  Seems like this is a season of new beginnings for this Burtis family.  This morning, early before any one in the house was stirring, I sat in front of a big bay window in my living room with a hot cup of Starbucks Christmas blend and a pen in hand, asking God to tell me what He'd like my new year's pursuits to be.

I  love New Year's goal setting. This is when I start irritating my husband and kids as I encourage them to set goals for the new year too. (apparently, not everyone is a goal setter - who knew?) Still, I pound away: Let's strive toward something new!  Let's get rid of old habits.  Let's challenge ourselves to do something hard. I'm sure you've heard the old saying "if you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every time."  That is not acceptable. I want to be different and there's no better time of year to put hand to the plow and try to make it happen. I'm not actually advocating self-improvement, but rather I find it's best to ask God what area He would like to focus on regarding my sanctification and spiritual growth and then rely on the Holy Spirit to lead the way.

Admittedly, I'm reluctant to stop reading my Advent devotionals (trying to hold on to Christmas as long as possible) - still listening for God to speak through this "most wonderful time of the year".  I'm slowly finishing up "This Christmas Night" by Billy and Ruth Graham.  I'm stunned and delighted at what I read today and feel it is a direct answer to my inviting God to write my New Year's Goals list.  Maybe it will speak to you too.

My Revised Christmas List by Ruth Graham 

Let me offer for our consideration a revised wish list -

This New Years,  I am giving my parents more loving appreciation for the years of time and effort - yes, and money - that they invested in me, so much of which I took for granted.

To my neighbors - nice or not - I will give thoughtful consideration.  I will be slow to gossip, quick to sympathize, ready to help - praying all the while that God will give them the necessary patience to live next to me.

To those who serve me in restaurants or shops - grumpy or obliging, cold or curt or otherwise, I will be courteous, friendly, interested, remembering: If I worked so long for so little, if my back ached and my feet hurt, and if when I got home I still had supper to prepare, I too would be grumpy, cold or curt or otherwise.

To all I meet - remembering that each carries burdens known only to himself, and some too big to cope with - I will say the kind things I want (but hesitate) to say.  I will tell them the nice things I've heard about them.  I will express my appreciation warmly.  If there's nothing nice to say - I'll do more than keep my mouth shut sweetly, I'll find something nice to say.

To my husband - remembering how much he has to put up with and for how long - I will give a frank, honest reappraisal of myself.  I will remember that happy marriages don't just happen.  They are the result of good hard work.  Then I will take my Bible and reread those timeworn, ageless passages that speak of love and marriage and the responsibilities and privileges of wives.  Sensible, delightful, down-to-earth passages, which if any woman would follow would make her husband the happiest, most contented man on earth.

To my children - this new year I will be more articulate in my love and appreciation of them as persons.  If I cannot give them a perfect mother I can at least give them more of the one they've got - and make that one more loving.  I will be available, knowing that a mother needs, like God, to be "a very present help in trouble."  I will take time to listen, time to play.  Time to counsel and encourage.  In a world of confusion and uncertainties, I will give them the eternal truths of the Word of God.  I will try to help them cast their anchor on the goodness and mercy of God. (end of excerpt)

To this list I would like to add - to God through my prayers - I will redirect my motives.  Instead of daily seeking God to be my vending machine in the sky, expecting Him to gladly grant every request, I will pray for His glory to be revealed and obvious in every area of my life.  For His will to be done and that His purposes will be at the heart of each thing I ask for, resisting the natural urge toward self-gratifying prayers.  That others will see His glory and presence in my responses to life's challenges and blessings.

This is my newly adopted New Year's Goals list.  I will print it and read it regularly.  And through this type of giving, grows the giver I pray.  I want to be different in 2012.

Reminds me of a verse I've loved so much in 2011 - God speaking in Isaiah 48 "Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold, I am doing a new thing: now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?"  Or more pointedly, do you not want it?

Where Has the Time Gone?

I almost forgot I had a blog...it's been so long since I've posted.  I know why.  Facebook.  Yup, I traded the blog for Facebook about 3 years ago.  But I'd like to bring it back so I can use it to share with both new friends and those I've loved for years.  There have been a lot of changes in my life these past few months and I have a lot of "words" because of them.  Some of you know, I rarely am at a loss for words. :)

So I hope that these thoughts will bring you some laughter, an opportunity to get to know me and my family a little better, but most importantly point you to the One I've found to be worth living for and the source of everything good in life.  Here I will share some of the adventures He and I experience together.  You will find that many of these experience happen through what I hear and read from God's Word, the Bible.  The words on those pages are far more inspiring and life-giving than any I could write.  I hope they will encourage you to grow a closer relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Dinner at the Rescue Mission

Last night I accompanied our boy's modified soccer team to serve dinner at the Rescue Mission. The coach, Mr. Murphy, wanted to add a service project on to the end of the season. I quickly offered to drive and attend - I didn't want to miss something this meaningful.

And it was. Our boys did everything from serve, clean tables, wash dishes, pull turkey off the bone and more. I was given the privilege of scooping and serving ice cream. It was no easy task to hold back the tears from time to time. Mostly when I let my mind wander to what their lives really are like.

It was a particularly cold day, too. The manager said they have record numbers for free dinner when the temps drop. My heart went out when I saw how many children came in. I do believe I have a new page to add to my prayer journal.

The experience also reminded me of a book I read this summer and loved - and highly recommend: "Same Kind of Different as Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. Don't hesitate to get this book and add it to your library.

I'm happy that our Sunday School class will be heading to the Mission again to serve and clean up dinner 2 days after Thanksgiving. All 3 of my kids will be there then. I pray God uses it to change us, make us more giving and appreciative.

Called on the Carpet

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A special woman made the following statement to me this past weekend. I bet she didn’t know it would become a “quote”, but here it is. “Knitting socks isn’t for wimps.” I believe she was trying to encourage me not to give up despite several errors, but I got to thinking about my walk with God.

Regularly (if not daily), I give God permission to search my soul with a fine-toothed comb. To discipline and correct me as He sees fit. I do this because I’m more fearful of who I’ll become if He doesn’t point out hypocrisy, sin, self-focus than I am interested in being comfortable with who I am and how I live. This practice is not for wimps! The past two weeks have been very rough as God has called me on the carpet and graciously (it’s always for my good) revealed some areas in my life that are not pleasing to him and need immediate attention.

There are some really hard verses of Scripture that I’m afraid I’ve given the once over for too long. Clearly, I’ve not been taking God’s tone in these verses seriously.

“Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” Eph. 4:29-30

So many verses address how we use our words. Of course this is intentional on God’s part. Our words define us. Our words are contagious – both positive and negative. Our words reveal what we believe about God. Now that’s a biggie.

Here are a few of the things I wrote in my journal recently to reinforce what God is revealing:

1. No more talking about others. Especially negatively. It can be gossip. It can be hurtful. It is judging and assuming. It is not godly. And also, it causes me to justify and elevate myself because I am right, right? Pride – don’t you hate how many ways it manifests itself?
2. No more worrying by leaning on my own understanding. We really do this all the time especially when we predict how a situation is going to go or judge in the middle of it. The question needs to be: ‘How big is my God?’. When I worry about situations I can’t change I’m making God a pretty small God and putting my trust in man or the situation. Is He sovereign or not? If He is then I shouldn’t worry.
3. No more complaining about what I don’t have or can’t afford. This is an insult to my Jehovah Jireh (God who provides). Not once in my life can I remember a time when I have gone without a life surviving need. He is generous and good and on time. Even though I’m joking about what I think is lacking I hear Him whisper, “Is there something you need that I have failed to provide?” Ugh.

Sometimes I go over a recent conversation I’ve had and cringe at how negative I can sound. The part of Eph. 4 that really challenges me is the phrase “so it may benefit those who listen”. I know how negative talk and complaining make me feel when I’m hearing it from someone else – so I have to turn the tables and realize I can sound the same way. And it benefits no one! The verse says our words should “be helpful for building others up according to their need”. I need to pray these verses before I leave the house in the morning or answer the phone.

I preach others first in every other area. Why not when it comes to my speech? Do I cause other people negative feelings or stress because of my complaining, judging, etc.? This is “grieving the Holy Spirit of God”. Would He participate in my conversations? I should be focusing on building others up according to what their need is for the day. I want to be a positive influence leaving a good taste in people’s mouths.

The worst part of this – what is going on in my heart? The Bible says the two are connected. I’m so grateful that God has addressed this in His Word, too, and given someone like me a solution.

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

I realize I need to make a choice. I can really relate to Prov. 10:19 “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”

I choose to put foolishness and childishness behind me because I want to grow in maturity in Christ so badly. Maybe I won’t be as much fun and may even talk less, but I hate staying the same. I believe God has afforded me another opportunity for growth that I don’t want to ignore or give little importance to. I want to please Him in this area.

Yesssssssssssssssss!

It was the right decision. A long 8 1/2 hour endeavour - but right. And freezing cold, but right. Drew not only played, but played well. And we won! So sectionals continues. Scott will be able to be at tomorrow's game.

I'm glad I was there for him and could share all his reactions with him as an eyewitness. Those of you who did - thanks for encouraging me to go. Oh and I hear Bible study went great too. God is good!