Home Alone

This certainly seems to be the summer of letting go! We had a surprise opportunity to send both Ben and Ally to Word of Life for a week of summer camp. Without parents!! It came about quickly but I knew it was directly from the hand of God. After all, isn't it me who always says 'Word of Life can change your life'. The boys have attended camp at the Ranch back when they were younger, but Ally has never had the chance to go. Well, here it is. I admit I had a crisis of thought. Can I let her go? How will she do without parental instruction? Will it be too much freedom? Will I have to reprogram when she returns? Reminder from God - whispering to me - maybe Word of Life can change her life too! Now, that's exciting. Yes, I can let go for that reason. We had a sweet breakfast together the morning she went to camp. I told her I wasn't going to tell her all the things to do and not to do. Heavens! Doesn't she hear that from me enough (nag, nag, nag). No, I wanted to speak to her heart. I told her to live it up. To have as much fun as possible. To play every game. To really listen to every speaker and see if he has a message for her. To learn from her counselor. I told her that it is her turn to shine. That she could be a great influence on the other girls. That perhaps God would speak something into her life while I wasn't there because maybe Mom is an interference at times. Well, I expect big things. She was a little nervous, but very ready to spread her independent wings. I hope it's the best week ever for her. Probably the best part is no brothers. She really is on her own with no one watching over her shoulder.

As for Ben. Well, he's on the island with big brother. He, too, was excited to be with the big kids. He couldn't wait to do the high ropes course, slide down the massive water slide and just generally pick on his brother who he really has missed this summer. I know he will listen intently to each speaker and try to apply the messages to his life. He has already implemented that discipline and I thank God for it. He will come back really charged up for God.

It's so strange in the house. It's quiet. I'm not expecting anyone to show up and say, "What's for lunch?". It's weird actually. Even going to church Sunday without them. All three gone at once. I reflected that Scott and I haven't been alone in the house for an entire week in 16 years. How about that? So far so good. I hope to not utter the forbidden words "I'm bored". I'll let you know how it goes. In the meantime...

I'm deeply grateful that God is at work in the lives of each one of our children this summer. How I pray they come home changed. I pray that they won't return just knowing the right things TO DO. But, that they will be even more enchanted with the God who created and saved and has a plan for each of their lives - and be motivated to pursue it!!

You've Got to be Kidding Me

Anyone who's known me for 5 minutes knows I love to read. I was challenged about 10 years ago to become a reader and I took it. I'm always reading something. It makes me feel smarter. It inspires me. Mostly I read Christian books that challenge me to walk closer to Christ. Occasionally I'll read a novel, but not often. I don't like getting so caught up in the lives of the characters that I ignore those in my life because I can't put the book down. But my favorites are missionary biographies. A wise mentor encouraged this practice at a women's retreat more than five years ago.

After a while, the instructional books take their toll as I feel I'm spending too much time on self. Always trying to improve self. I know it's happened when I need a break because I'm sick of myself. At those moments, I always pick up a missionary biography. Especially the old ones. There's nothing like getting inspired by the life of one who denied so much of self for Christ. Makes me want to straighten up and walk taller. Makes me want to give more of me to Christ. Makes me want less of the world and more spiritual fruit.

About three years ago I started requiring one missionary biography to be read by my children each summer. Prior to that, I read them one. Now they are on their own. They never fail to groan at first, but I know they get interested. Each day (esp. the ones with no agenda) we read for close to an hour. It's their favorite time. They look forward to it. Yeah right. I wish.

I have a dream that my children would love to read. This dream has not come true yet. (They are 16, 13 and 11.) Today the unthinkable happened. One of my children, who will remain namelesss, uttered the following question when I stated it was time to read. "Why do we have to read in the summer?" You might have thought a demon overtook their mother. Had the child just been dropped off to live in this family? I incredulously replied, "You've got to be kidding me, right? You have no idea why I have you read in the summer? Have I not been clear on my purpose? You think I'm going to let your mind go to mush just because you're on vacation?" I'm sure I said a few more things that I'm not willing to admit to this blog.

But, if you want to see this child again - I'd pray for her safety.

2 Weeks Down, 6 Weeks To Go

Talk about being unprepared. We went camping this last weekend with three other families. I expected to have our usual relaxing, fun time with all of us together. Of course, Drew wouldn't be there, but we'd manage, right? I had no idea the emotions that would come flooding through during mealtimes and while watching all the other kids play. Someone significant was missing. I had to leave one meal when I was overcome with tears. It just wasn't right to not have him with us. Maybe it was because that day marked two weeks since we had left Drew at Word of Life. Maybe it was because we couldn't have any contact with him while in Canada. Regardless, it was a mommy heartbreak moment for sure.

After that mini meltdown, the rest of the weekend went fine. Still, Scott and I talked later and compared feelings. Was it just me? No, he was feeling it too. Indeed, there was a hole. A gap. One that only Drew could fill. It was hard to shake it and I'm not sure if I was very successful. That is, until we got back to the States and I could call him and hear his voice.

Of course, I couldn't help but think of friends of mine who've actually lost loved ones to eternity. I think we got a tiny (and I mean tiny) glimpse of what it could be like trying to fit in with everyone else's complete family when someone you love and miss won't be joining you. Takes a lot of faith to walk that road. Makes me admire those who are walking it even more. I was grateful that God could take my self-focus and turn it into prayers for others.

Don't get me wrong. I still don't regret that Drew is spending the summer working at Word of Life. I don't want him to come home yet. I just miss him when the rest of us are together making special family memories. We'll be going to visit him this Friday (which will mark 3 weeks since we left him). This is the longest time apart ever. We just can't wait! We are expecting eternal dividends from this summer. When he and I chatted yesterday he told me of BIG things God is doing in his life. I marveled at them - especially since it's only been 2 weeks and he has 6 to go! What more can God do? A lot, I pray. I'm excited for him.

Here's a photo of us in our favorite picturesque spot at Charleston Lake. Hated taking that picture without Drew - so I improvised. Can you see my hand-drawn portrait of him?

Yeah, I know...don't quit your day job.

The Beginning of the Letting Go

Well, it's been a week since we took Drew to Word of Life Island for the summer. Here he is in his cabin (w/Ben). Pretty small (and stinky) for 10 boys to share, but I think he's gotten used to it.

It was a rough week for me imagining how I would handle Drew being gone for 8 weeks. But by the time Friday came and we took that boat over to the Island, I was pretty excited for him. He will be in a God-saturated environment, working hard and being stimulated and challenged spiritually all summer! Here at home he'd probably just play video games, sleep in and want to go golfing every day. Nah - this is better. Even though we miss him terribly. I'm thankful for the gift of email, texting, cell phones and IM. It means we stay in touch everyday.

Below is the letter I wrote Drew and gave him the night before he left. I am amazed at God's plan for this family. Twenty two years ago I went to WOL for the summer and God got hold of my heart forever - and now my son is there. Amen!!


Hey Drew,
I was thinking about you as I just finished the "Do Hard Things" book that I bought for Ben for his birthday. Thank you for agreeing to read it before you go to Word of Life for the summer.

I'm quite excited about this "rebelution" among teenagers spreading the globe. I'm praying you'll be a part of it and that you'll even lead something in your school and youth group. For years your teachers have described you as a leader. Which means there are "peeps" following behind you. They are watching and like what they see. I like what I see in you. You have made Dad and me so proud with your good decisions and ever-growing godly character. (not to mention fun personality!!) To quote some of your old friends "God made you special - and He loves you very much!" (remember who that is? - hint they are green and red.)

But, the thing about leadership is that you can never remain the same. Godly leadership requires changing - all the time. Becoming more Christ-like. Learning more about Jesus and adjusting your life to it. We must never stay the same because then we quit growing. God has His hand on your life and it is no coincidence that you are a part of the Core, attend NSBC, go to Faith Heritage and belong to this family. It's all part of your shaping.

Additionally, I've been praying about your upcoming summer at Word of Life. Excitement and anticipation of what you will experience hardly covers all my feelings. I get mixed reactions (particularly from mothers) when they find out that we are letting you be gone for 8 weeks. Some say "that's cool - he's going to love it.” Most, though, get out a sad voice and say, "The whole summer? That's a long time. What will you do without him? That's going to be hard." Indeed. It will be hard on all of us - Dad, Ben, Ally and me. Why? Because we love you so much. You are an integral and important part of this family. Your presence will be missed. Days without being the first and last one to see you each day will be hard for me. Wondering if you're sick or sad and wanting to hug you. Tough. I know it's coming.

But, like the title of the book says - Dad and I are doing "the hard thing" by letting you go. There are 2 BIG reasons why. 1. I, personally, know from experience that Word of Life is a life-changing place. Most of my defining moments happened the summer I spent up there. I was even a rebellious 18-year-old and yet God got hold of my heart and has never let go. And I've never been the same since. Thankfully, you don't have that obstacle to overcome. So just think what a great BIG vision God can give you for your life as a teenager and beyond. That is what Dad and I are praying for. That you will hear God's voice all summer long as you meet and listen to one dynamic speaker after the next, week after week. And that He would whisper dreams into your heart. Dreams of what He can do through you in your lifetime. We pray that you will meet young men older than you who will inspire you to be Godly now. And we even pray that you will influence those your age or younger. Showing them what it looks like to live for God now. Solidly doing your best for God. He may even reveal sin or complacency in your life and give you the opportunity to leave it behind. Do it.

Reason #2. And this is where I gulp over the large lump in my throat. As I consider that we only have you in our home in this capacity for 2 more years and then you're off to college, I would be crazy to lose these summer weeks without you. As your departure date nears, my heart wants to selfishly keep you here with us. However, God has been good to remind me that you are His. He bought you with a price. And, most importantly, Drew, you were created for God's pleasure. Not mine. Not Dad's. Ironically, though, because God is so gracious and kind, we have received immeasurable pleasure and blessing during these first 16 years with you. So, instead of hogging you to myself for the summer - which would be the easy thing to do, I release you to strategically be in a place where you will meet God and head more purposefully in the direction He has for you.

Remember the Jim Elliott quote, “Live to the hilt every moment you believe to be the will of God.”? Drew, it is God’s will for you to be at Word of Life this summer. Grab every moment and live it to the fullest. As usual, you’ll have to be careful who you’re friends are because you’ll meet all kinds of kids. You know what to do. Remember that we are just a phone call and/or 3 hour drive away. We will be praying diligently for you each day and loving you every moment. Recognize that Satan doesn't want any good thing to happen in and through you this summer, will oppose every good thing God is doing, and will probably try to confuse you. Don’t fall for it. We'll pray you through.

It's going to be an awesome summer, Drew. We will miss you each and every day. We love you tons and tons.

What's God been teaching you lately? part 3

Well, here we are at the final installment. Review: I pretended you asked me what God’s been teaching me lately. I couldn’t answer it in one devotional. So here are the previous two bullet points.

1. Spend your life pursuing God and investing in people.

2. If we seek comfort from what this world has to offer and we build our life around that pursuit - trying to insulate ourselves from pain and discomfort – we’ll miss our calling.
Time for number three.

3. Deliberate mediocrity is a sin. I read this quote over a year ago but can’t get it out of my mind. Since then, it’s been confirmed and revisited in other books I’ve read and some songs I love.

Let me give you some definitions:
Mediocrity – a moderate degree of excellence; ordinary; indifferent
Complacency – contentment; a smug feeling of self-satisfaction (with who you are and what you’ve done).

Ok, so I have a new favorite book. I bought "Do Hard Things – A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations" by Alex and Brett Harris for my sons to read. Naturally, I read it first and I’m so jazzed about it that I’ve already bought 5 copies for every teenager I know who has an occasion coming up that I might need to give him/her a gift for. (It’s written by teens for teens and is really motivating.) Read on and see what I mean.

“The daily periodical Bits & Pieces shares this chilling picture of what's

really happening: (in our culture)

Complacency is a blight that saps energy, dulls attitudes and causes a drain

on the brain. The first symptom is satisfaction with things as they are.

The second is rejection of things as they might be.
"Good enough" becomes today's watchword and tomorrow's standard. Complacency makes people fear the unknown, mistrust the untried, and abhor the new. Like water, complacent people follow the easiest course - downhill. They draw false strength from looking back."

I think that truth-packed quote certainly could be applied to so many areas of life. How many of us could be characterized as fearful of the unknown, mistrusting the untried and abhorring the new? Do we have little energy and a dull attitude? Are we satisfied with things as they are and prone to reject what they might be? Gracious – how big do we think our God is…or isn’t? Do we believe He can only accomplish what we are able to explain or what we’ve already seen? Or is He waiting to unleash His Spirit in a new way in present and future generations?

Later the authors say, “Over time, refusing to reach higher, try harder and risk more robs us of the glorious purpose and wonderful future God has created us for.” What are we so afraid of? What other people think? That we’ll fail?

MercyMe puts it well in their song “Goodbye, Ordinary”.

I wonder when we first bought into this
So satisfied with status quo
Have we convinced ourselves that this is all there is?

We were never meant to compromise
Settle for mediocrity
This life was never made to be a waste of time
Well all that is within me says no more just existing

Live like there’s no tomorrow
Love extravagantly
Lead a life to be followed
Goodbye ordinary. Goodbye ordinary.

The Harris boys give three strategies for stepping higher. “We recommend that teens do three hard things that go above and beyond what our culture expects:
1. Do what’s hard for you.
2. Be known for what you do (more than what you don’t).
3. Pursue excellence, not excuses.”

Granted, I’m not a teenager anymore but what an awesome message for adults too. If we’re bored with life or bored with church, it’s not because God is boring. Perhaps it’s because we’ve settled for complacency, status quo or mediocrity. We’re comfortable with who we are and what our life looks like. We’ve got to break free from that lesser thinking! No more comfort zone living. Engage God. Ask Him to do something big through you. Tell Him you want an adventure. Then go do something hard for Him. He’ll give you everything you need to accomplish it because it’s for His glory!

And you might just find yourself satisfied and hungry for more. Deliberate mediocrity is a sin. Let’s be deliberate for God instead.

P.S. Jesus was far from mediocre. When He came, He changed modern-day ‘religion’ as it was known. Everything He did flew in the face of religious rituals. What if He tried that in the ‘church’ of 2008? Would He get the same response?

italics mine