We Said Yes! ...A Family Decision

The days are long and the years are short they say.

They're right.

After two boys and five years of blue and denim, this little girl was born to a mom who couldn't wait to accessorize - in pink and experience all things girly. She has given us so much more.

In March she turned 22.
In April she said yes to a marriage proposal.

If you know me and/or have been reading this blog for awhile, you already know a lot about Ally Burtis. So let me introduce you to the star of this blog post, Ethan Morin.

Ally presented Ethan to us almost two years ago when they were toddlers. She wanted to date him. Right. Now.
We were not in such a hurry; encouraging a slow approach: "Focus on building a friendship. There's no rush to name it something or 'commit' to each other. Chill."
She was not impressed.

However, they both honored our request for at least six months before we agreed they could make it Facebook official (God, help us survive the social media culture.)

As we took our time (s-l-o-w-l-y) getting to know Ethan and observing their relationship, we could see he was not only good for Ally, but that he meets the Burtis requirements - godly, funny, cute - in that order. Personally, I think it took him some time to get used to me, and introducing him to vintage Dr. Mario video games could be what God has used to knit our hearts together. Whatever it takes, you know?

A special wink from God to my heart is his connection to my beloved Word of  Life. Ethan grew up camping at the Campground (like our family), he attended the Bible Institute (like our kids - and me), and he hopes to serve the Lord in full time ministry at Word of Life. I mean, come on. 

Now that we've spent some time with them, it's easy to see he was raised well by parents who love Jesus; a couple with whom we expect to become fast friends, bonus gifts.

Since then, this brave young man approached Scott a few times for an acceptable timeline to propose. Even though we were blessed and impressed at his willingness to ask, we delayed him consistently knowing there was more growing up to do for all of us and waiting for the Lord's timing.



It felt right a week or so ago. Ethan was adorable when he came to us, rolled out his plan for marriage, and told us why he wants to marry Ally and how he would propose. Unbeknownst to us, he had purchased a ring back in November. What a champ - respecting our wishes and waiting for us to be ready. Big points!

He asked for our blessing.

We gave it without hesitation along with a few words from our hearts. We told him he has proven himself to us - love for the Lord first and foremost, a strong work ethic with desire for full-time ministry, can handle delayed gratification, and he's nuts about our girl. He loves her well, takes care of her, makes her smile big, thinks she's hilarious and sees the work God is doing in her life; wanting to join together with that. 

One of my favorite things about Ethan I wanted him to know is how he calls her out and calls her up to Godly wisdom and behavior, not letting her get away with foolishness or sin.

Is there anything more important than all that?

No, there isn't.

As you can imagine, when he sweetly asked her to marry him through tears (hers and his), she said yes. And then he kissed her. Her first one. And the parents said, "Amen".

When they called to tell us their news (after I had been stalking her phone on Find Friends all night), Ally showed us a written note Ethan started his proposal with. In it were three detailed categories describing Ally- 
godly, funny, cute. 

What a breathtaking moment for Scott and me. 

God has answered our prayers abundantly (a 3rd time) and helped her along with her brothers to choose well. We are so grateful and will praise His Name forever. The Lord can be trusted with our children and their future. Our job is to hold them to Biblical standards, model God-centered living, surrender them to His will, and pray without ceasing, always believing.

I guess I'm going to have to let go and let my girl be a grown up. In these later years, she has made herself irresistible to me by her joyful self-deprecating sense of humor, steady maturing, and growing deeply in her faith in a way that tells us she's ready to commit to a lifelong partner.

Mission accomplished.

Welcome, Ethan. Fasten your seat belt.
You're about to join the crazy.

We are wasting no time plunging in to planning my - I mean, Ally's - dream winter wedding. Ahem.
I believe I've already found a suitable mother-of-the-bride outfit.

Come and See....

As I ate one piece of candy after another, ordered dessert and pastry to go for the morning, then popped five Trader Joe's ice cream bonbons in my mouth (things I save for special occasions), I wondered if this is nervous eating. And why?

Tomorrow I leave for the trip of a lifetime. You  know, the one you hope for and dream might happen, but are never really sure it will become a reality; touring the Holy Land (in the season leading up to Easter as a bonus).

I may be nervous about flying half way around the world, over the ocean, overnight, leaving all my people on a different continent for eleven days.

Or maybe I'm nervous my husband won't be with me: the one who tells me where to be, what to be holding, when to be ready, and handles all the tedious details of travelling. Realizing we haven't spent this many days apart since enduring trauma together a few years ago. Yes, we have become that knit together couple, and love it.

Of course, I realize these things will work themselves out; I am schlepping to the Middle East alongside a travel-experienced friend and an organized tour group that likely will set this Type A tourist at ease.

(For the record, just because I packed 5 dresses and a skirt DOES NOT mean I'm trying to make a fashion statement every day (as I've been accused). They are just more comfortable and take no space in my suitcase! Also, for those worried, I'm wearing one pair of shoes and bringing only one more. One set of gold jewelry, one silver. One watch. So there. I can do this.)

Ahem. Back to important things.

Excitement and anticipation flood my thoughts. I can scarcely think of anything else.

It started back in August when I received this message from my friend Sue.

"Shrieeeeeeekkkkkkkk! Gladly fund the trip? But why? I still don't have that answer. What an incredible gift from multiple givers! From two friends; one who chose me as her companion, the other - her husband and my best high school buddy - treating me to this adventure. I'm still reeling at the weightiness of this generous gesture.

And also from God Himself. Convinced my Father in heaven has invited me to come and see, I've poured over the maps, the study guides, the agenda - everything in my packet and other resources (book nerd) - and I know this trip will change my life.

Tucked in my suitcase is another special gift. A thoughtful and creative young woman I love (my pastor's wife), gave me something to take with me. It's a travel journal she designed - an offering for every day I'm gone. Prayers, Bible verses, questions to answer, encouragements. In many ways, her presence will accompany me through this book.

On one of the first pages is the question,

"What are you expecting from this trip?"







I expect to cry a lot. Sincerely, I hope time is scheduled just to sit down and bawl. Frankly, I already have quite a few times and I haven't even left the U.S.

To walk where Jesus walked. To witness the stories in the Bible come alive. To imagine. To see. To taste: olives, olive oil, figs, and much more I hope.

I expect in seeing the land up close and in person to be given fresh insight and understanding to so much of the image and illustration in the Bible text. Things I have yet to know the full meaning behind because I haven't seen the trees, the stone roads, the plants, the mountains, the caves, the waters, and the people, their eyes; and how all of these interact with the Greatest Story.

I expect to marvel not just at what it looks like, but what Israel feels like: the wind, the Dead Sea, the Jordan River, the dirt paths, the rugged trees.

I expect to leave with a full technicolor representation of God's ancient plan to love, rescue and redeem all mankind, and the zeal to tell everyone I meet.

I expect to see faces different from my own, beautiful faces to enlarge my scope of loving all people created in God's image. I expect new friendships and extra affection and fun in an existing one.

I expect to become BFF's with Lysa TerKeurst, our Bible teacher. I mean, maybe we already are: I have read her books, completed her Bible studies, heard her speak from the stage and met her here at Camp of the Woods once. No big deal.

Mostly, I expect to feel, know and experience God's very individual love toward me, which is a work already in progress. My feet are most likely in the shallow end right now, and I expect to be launched into the deep. I am sure I will be enamored with many things in the Promised Land (hello shopping for souvenirs!) but growing closer to God and knowing Him more intimately is the main reason for this trip.

I expect Psalm 66 abundance and Ephesians 3:20, 21 surprises.


I expect I can't really expect all God has in store for us. I've pack lots of tissues.

Lastly, I expect to take lots of photos and take good notes for anyone who'd like to journey along with me. I'll see you back here as often as the wi-fi is available- and only then -  because Scott has already informed me we aren't getting a special international phone plan. That's my guy!

If you're interested I can be found on Instagram @adk_angela and Facebook Angela DeFrancis Burtis. I'd love your company.


Ephesians 3:20, 21
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

Psalm 66

Shout for joy to God, all the earth;
2     sing the glory of his name;
    give to him glorious praise!
3 Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds!
    So great is your power that your enemies come cringing to you.
4 All the earth worships you
    and sings praises to you;    they sing praises to your name.” Selah

5 Come and see what God has done:
    he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man.
6 He turned the sea into dry land;    they passed through the river on foot.
There did we rejoice in him,
7     who rules by his might forever,
whose eyes keep watch on the nations—
    let not the rebellious exalt themselves. Selah

⁸ Bless our God, O peoples;
    let the sound of his praise be heard,
⁹ who has kept our soul among the living
    and has not let our feet slip.
¹⁰ For you, O God, have tested us;
    you have tried us as silver is tried.
¹¹ You brought us into the net;
    you laid a crushing burden on our backs;
¹² you let men ride over our heads;
    we went through fire and through water;
yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.

The Other Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I walked into work today and declared to everyone in earshot, "Tomorrow is the day! We have to decide what we are doing, what we are fasting from, etc." It was my joy when one said, "I knew Lent hadn't started yet, because Angela didn't tell us!" In addition, an email came today from a sweet friend, "What are WE doing for Lent?" Yes, it's time.

For years now as my obsession with God grows ever deeper, celebrating the sacred holidays with gusto has become one of my great joys. If you've been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know Advent is truly my most favorite time of the year. Taking a concentrated amount of time to reflect, meditate and act on the anticipation of the arrival of Jesus (both - the one that already happened and the one to come) has transformed my family's December. It enables us to live Romans 12:1, 2 - not conforming to the world, but being somewhat different in our approach. It's so good.

The 40 days before Easter, Lent, has also taken on new meaning and new prominence on my calendar. In fact, it may be in first place now. We are invited to the undertake the journey with Jesus and thereby prepare ourselves for the two big events that are the pillars of our belief system - the crucifixion and the resurrection.

Typically, these days and weeks should turn our minds to Jesus' ministry here on Earth, specifically leading up to His death on the cross to pay for the sin of mankind, purchasing salvation for all who place their trust in Him. We contemplate the darkness of those days, what it cost Jesus on our behalf (it wasn't pretty), how He suffered willingly, lovingly and ultimately culminate with a grand celebration of His resurrection. The day He rose from the dead, securing eternal life for those who believe! Proof that there is none like Him. While a somber period, the purpose of Lent does not stop at sadness and despair - it points us to the hope of the Resurrection and the day when we will see Him face to face.

Like Advent, Lent is a time to open the doors of our hearts a little wider and understand our Lord a little deeper, so that when Good Friday and eventually Easter comes, it is not just another day at church but an opportunity to receive the overflowing of graces God has to offer. 

Unlike Advent, which is more characterized by excitement and abundance, this is a more solemn season, meant to be a lament. One can't appreciate the light and the miracle of resurrection without spending a significant amount of time remembering the dark side, the sin, the pain, the rejection, the suffering, the death.

Approaching Easter Sunday as a one day celebration with little to no heart preparation is no longer an option for me (or my family who I insist accompany me on this journey). It's too important. If I want annual heart transformation and to present God with pure, meaningful worship, it's going to cost me something. I look forward to fasting. I look forward to denying self on purpose. I've seen the results and I need it again.

So here we are the day before. Time to decide how to make it real.

I guess you could consider this my yearly invitation for you, too, to open your calendar and heart a little wider to approach Easter, the holiday that sets Christians apart, and enter into a journey with Jesus. It's always more fun when you have company.

First, pray. Ask God what He has in mind for you.

This could look like so many things. Focused Bible readings (there is no shortage of printed and digital devotional guides), fasting from something you will truly miss daily, denying of self (when you miss it, you give trade that desire for prayer), and giving to the poor.

As I purge my soul of sin and self, I also empty our home of excess. What can I give away to benefit another (both money and stuff)?

Finally, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it (Deuteronomy 6). I am seeking to know the Greatest Story, the pillars of our faith, with greater familiarity and sharing it with others. It's never just for me.

If you've never done anything like this, explore some of the ideas above. Maybe it will be come the Most Wonderful Time of the Year for you too. Who doesn't want that?

If you have, share some ideas in the comments on my Facebook or Instagram. I love to learn from others. One of my Advent/Lent buddies, when I questioned him today said, "I want to exude so much  joy that people ask me what is wrong or right with me!" Yes!

I will be spending 10 of the 40 days in the Holy Land this Spring. I've been invited by some special friends and in reality by Jesus Himself - an offer I have dreamed of for years to draw near and learn, to walk where He walked, to see what He saw. I will be sure to share pictures and more importantly, the lessons I will learn.

Remember, we start tomorrow at dusk and conclude on Good Friday.

Bible reading, prayer
Confession of sin
Fasting
Giving to the poor

We can do this. We need to do this.

And like every spiritual effort, pass it to the next generation.

The Songs Matter

We've begun our fourth year in the empty nest. I think we're navigating it pretty well. We love it when our kids are home. We love it when we're just two. It's all good.

Except in December. Here's the problem. In order for all the traditions to happen, it takes a whole month. All the songs that need to be heard (usually in my car on the way to everywhere), all the movies that need to be watched (have I mentioned my extensive Christmas DVD collection?), all the books to be read (not enough days in December for that even if they were home), etc. cannot be observed when they are only home a day or so around The Big Day. It makes me whiney.

I knew last year was the final of its kind when Ben and Ally would be home for at least three weeks. Now they've joined their older brother and family whose time is limited since he became a grownup.

It's just not as much fun watching all The Santa Clause movies without their commentary and laughter. How can I read aloud their childhood Christmas books without the eye rolling and sighing as I giggle or cry through them? I miss hearing them sing with gusto (or falsetto in Ben's case) Karen Carpenter's endless glorious riffs.

Last and most important, I miss our daily Advent traditions which evolved with their maturing. 

What's an overachieving, overzealous, overenthusiastic, overexcited, overdramatic, overeverything mother supposed to do with that? How do we keep it going now that they are in their 20's?

In an Advent reading this week, the subject was the importance of the songs. The sacred songs of old. The ones we only listen to this time of year. You know the ones. They reflect the glory of the story. 

One of my expectations (ok, rules) for December in our home was that we ONLY listened to Christmas music. Nothing else. I still try to enforce this, but am quite sure it's not happening to my liking. 

So the other night Scott and I were driving home from our small group, enjoying some favorites. Songs I'm pretty sure no other normal kids were subjected to. The ones, frankly, that I discovered after coming to faith in Jesus as an older teenager. New to me and enchanting as a new believer. (Think Sandi Patty, Michael W. Smith, 4Him, the Carpenters)

While we were belting The Form of Man by Bryan Duncan (look it up if you don't know it-you'll thank me) and killing it by the way, a thought came to me: I'll send the kids a song everyday that they've listened to all their lives but am certain won't be found on their own playlists. Ones that will provoke a family memory - remind of a part of the Greatest Story - bring a smile and/or maybe even cause a moment of thanks and worship. 

Yes, brilliant!

I floated the idea to them. Of course there was a little sass (expected), but as usual, they agreed to their mother's latest shenanigans. (Side parenting note - just because they roll their eyes, make fun of you or push back a little doesn't mean you shouldn't try (or insist). Sometimes a little Italian guilt helps too.)

As I'm choosing a song each day, naturally it's doing a work in my heart too. I do expect to add some silly to the sacred selections but I mostly hope that one of the outcomes is that we each sing the song to the Lord. That it would stand out from the culture's holiday noise and distraction.

"The angels, as they sang their glory song that night, began the singing of of a glory song that would never end. God's people have penned and sung glory songs ever since. Whenever and wherever they gather, they sing together of the birth, the life, the death, the resurrection, the promises, the presence, 
the power, and the grace of Jesus. Around the world, the precious truths of God's most wonderful gifts to us, the gift of His Son." Starting with the angels who sang over the manger.

Later in the Bible, the book of Revelation, we hear those who've passed to heaven singing their glory songs with the angels. "One day we will join that multitude, no longer looking forward in hope but looking back with the security of redemption accomplished, and with the angels and the saints of old we too will sing glory songs about Jesus forever and ever."

Friends, do you see it? The first Advent the angels were singing. The second Advent we will join the angels. Right now we are both looking back to celebrate the first Advent of Jesus' coming to earth AND looking forward to celebrating the second Advent of Jesus' future return to earth. It's going to happen.

And did you see that amazing line up there? "...no longer looking forward in hope but looking back with the security of redemption accomplished."

Aaaahhhh! Security of redemption accomplished. The day we no longer need hope! I can't wait for that day. Can you?

Sing the glory songs. Make them your song.

 P.S. If you want me to send you my daily choice, I will! 

If you think I'm nuts, disregard!

*Quotes from O Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul David Tripp

Bringing Wonder Back

"What has captured the wonder of our hearts will control the way we live."

Wonder.

It's a Christmas word I think. You hardly hear or read it any other time of year. Some might consider it a fluffy, whimsical expression, but it always makes me stop and consider what fills me with wonder.

When I read the quote above this morning out of the Advent devotional I bought for the important men in my life, something stirred.

The author cautioned that the Grand Story of Jesus entering our world to rescue us can become familiar. Familiar enough to not find wonder it anymore. God forbid.

I looked up the word familiar. And by 'looking up', I mean I asked my phone what it means (I'm so techie).

Familiar - well known from a long or close association; a close friendship; intimate.
OR
- common.

Oh. A choice. The first definition is wonder-ful. I like it. I want it. The second makes me think complacent, unimpressed, unnoticed, or worse - bored.

Paul David Tripp writes, "You are familiar with the story of the gospel of Jesus Christ because the love of God has been lavished on you." Whoa. Let's just take that in a second. Feel free to re-read. I'll wait for you.

That's the good familiar. Read on.

"But familiarity often does bad things to us. Often when we become familiar with things, we begin to take them for granted. When we are familiar with things, we tend to quit examining them. Often when we are familiar with things, we quit noticing them. When we are familiar with things, we tend not to celebrate them as we once did. Familiarity tends to rob us of our wonder. And here's what's important about this; what has captured the wonder of our hearts will control the way we live."

Is it possible for the Greatest Story, familiar to most of us, become unwonder-ful? It certainly is. I shudder at the thought. We must make it our job to work hard to prevent it from becoming so. We mustn't let ourselves or our children and grandchildren miss the Wonder.

My prayer this first day of Advent:

"Father, may the Story I will trace every December day, Your Story, make me fall on my knees afresh in worship. Open my eyes to Your Love in ways I've not discovered yet or worse-forgotten. Help me to notice You in every seemingly ordinary, mundane, unimportant thing I see and experience. Make familiar things new - like the songs and movies and books annually revisited. Don't let me miss one detail. Grip my heart with the wonder of your character and plan and Biblical truths of the incarnation of Jesus. May the extravagance of your Gift overshadow every other delight of the season. Amen."

You can pray it too. I hope you do.

PS. Nerdy detail - Prayer verbs! Verbs are so good. Live the verbs.

Quotes from O Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul David Tripp