A Warm Welcome and a New Friend

I was invited to lunch the other day by a lovely lady I just met. She told me that since seeing and hearing me on the stage at church back in October she hoped we could become friends.  She took me to a very girly restaurant where we ordered chicken salad and iced tea and later browsed through an attached gift shop.  

She shared some of her story with me as I ate.  I was so touched by her honesty and openness.  She's lived a long life with its fair share of both joy and heartache.  My hurt heart as I felt the pain of some of her experiences.  She certainly deserves the title a "wounded woman", but remarkably doesn't carry herself as a victim.  Instead, she's completely focused on serving others.  I mean, talk about a life chock full of other-centeredness.  She loves the Lord and the church with all of her heart.  Her home and calendar are open to those in need.  And here she is reaching out to me.  I felt undeserving but at the same time delighted that she noticed me and reached out to this new kid on the block.  I felt so comfortable with her that I actually thought, "If I'm ever sick, I want to go to her house, lay on her couch to just be near her and ask her to take care of me."  You know how when you're sick you just want your mom?  She's that kind of lady.

I don't think he's silly looking, I think he's cute! 

If our lunch date wasn't enough, in her kindness she presented me with a gift.  She said, "I know he's silly looking, but consider him like a prayer shawl.  Since the day I saw you, I began knitting him for you and prayed for you every day as I worked on him." (Sometimes it takes a fellow knitter to appreciate how much work and love went into a project like this). She went on to say that she knows transitions are hard for families, and that our teenagers especially were on her mind and in her prayers everyday.  Everyday.  Furthermore, she offered her husband and herself to be there for our kids in absence of family members.  In other words, if the kids have a band concert or sporting event, they want to come and show our kids support. Took my breath away.

If this sweet woman is so committed to me (someone she barely knows) and my family, how much more of herself must she give to those she loves?  I'm always on the lookout for an older woman who "gets it" and I found one!  One who in obedience to Christ is willingly and intentionally "teaching the younger women" (Titus 2:4-5).

She taught me a lot about Him that day at lunch. Things that I need to emulate.

• Like how to live in your pain.  I mean, live fully in every moment in spite of your pain.  She didn't wait for God to remove it or reconcile the circumstances to her liking and then move forward with her purpose in life.  She just lives and brings joy to everyone she knows as she does.  How often am I paralyzed when pain comes into my life?
• Like how to sacrifice her own comfort and independence to give to those who can't return the gesture. 
• Like how to stand for what is right and true even if it results in loss.
• Like how to naturally be so self-less that she notices people (who might be lonely) and reaches out an invitation to friendship.
• Like how to find humor when life is hard. She is so funny and laughed a lot!
• Like to be devoted to prayer on behalf of someone else.  Did I mention that she prayed for my family and for me EVERYDAY?

Once I start listing, I realize I could name even more.  For now, I think that's enough for me to chew on and thank God for.  In the meantime, my little prayer elephant is sitting in my office to remind me of my lovely new friend and why I do what I do.

Change Can Be Good

Change.  Some people avoid it at all cost and some people thrive on it.  I think I fall somewhere in the middle.  I love to change the furniture around in my house and the wall colors and the overall decor to suit the seasons.  But I also love familiarity, predictability and stability.  So you can imagine what the last few months have been like.  We have sold our house, bought a new one and said goodbye to the familiar - our life and ministry in Syracuse.  We've uprooted our family and moved to a new city and a new church, a new life really.  I've lived through the ups and downs of the excitement of starting something new but having to say goodbye to what I've known for so long.  I've been looking forward to meeting new friends, but reluctant to leave the current friends - many who have been a large part of my life for years.

When conflicted emotionally, I would remind myself that God is a God of Adventure.  He doesn't necessarily want us to plant ourselves in just one place for a lifetime.  He has the right to move us wherever He likes.  That energizes me.   I like adventure.  I want to go where God is going and be obedient to His call no matter when it comes in life.

Recently I read this:  "The truth is, God uses change to change us.  He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny.....How will we ever change if everything around us stays the same?  Or what will ever cause us to move on to the next place He has for us if something doesn't happen to change the way we feel about where we are?  God is thoroughly committed to finishing the masterpiece He started in us (Phil. 1:6), and that process means one thing: change."*

I love that!  I can get excited about change if it's going to bring me closer to the destiny God has planned for me. And I can always trust that God is ahead of us leading all the way.  As Scott and I have said quite a bit this last few months, "I'm all in". 

Tomorrow, February 6, I officially begin my new position at First Baptist Church in Johnson City.  I'm excited to see what God has in store for all of us who call this our church.  I picture myself right behind the Lord Jesus with my forehead pressed into His shoulder blades.  I can't really see where we're going, but He can and I'm safe and looking forward to the ride.  Where He leads, I'll follow!

A note to my new ladies at FBJC - won't you come along on the adventure?  I know God has wonderful things in store for us as we begin to get to know one another and engage in studying His Word, praying, growing and serving together to further His Kingdom through women's ministries.  I believe strongly that God has a specific purpose and plan for every woman who names the name of Christ as Savior and I'm looking forward to intentionally discovering what this is for each and every one of us - and then living it to the fullest.  I love this promise:

"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has "prepared" for those who love Him."  1 Corinthians 2:9

I hope you will get involved in activities and allow God to equip you and also use you in the lives of other women as we begin this next season of ministry together.  As we go, stay tuned to the blog here.  I hope that these thoughts will bring you some laughter, an opportunity to get to know me and my family a little better, but most importantly point you to the One I've found to be worth living for and the source of everything good in life.  Here I will share some of the adventures He and I experience together.  You will find that many of these experience happen through what I hear and read from God's Word, the Bible.  The words on those pages are far more inspiring and life-giving than any I could write.  I hope they will encourage you to grow a closer relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

And please come in to the office for a visit too.  I'll make you a cup of coffee and we'll share life. 

*So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore

Community in the Bleachers

Reality is settling in (again).  One last goodbye is on the horizon.  It hit me the other night that I am really going to miss this group of people and their sons.

These are most of the parents of the Faith Heritage Saints Varsity Basketball Team.  We have been sitting in these bleachers together a few times a week since November, and some of us for many other seasons over the years. 

We've shared life together. We've sat on uncomfortable bleachers.  We've driven far distances to watch games (often in not-so-great weather).  We've eaten together.  We've carpooled. We've secretly celebrated snow days and no-practice days. We've sent text scoring updates to any parent who had to miss a game.We've listened to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem countless times.  We've laughed together.  We've picked on each other. We've tolerated a certain someone who insisted on a group picture.  (The one who called me queer will not be named here).  We've called, texted and emailed.  We've prayed for these boys. We've prayed for each other.  We've stood by one another when life gets hard.  We've encouraged one another when needed.  We've hugged. We've cheered for each others' sons by name.  We've collectively gasped when one of them has gotten clobbered.  We've rejected the ref's calls on each others behalf.  We've celebrated their victories and commiserated their losses.  We've loved each others' sons. I think it's safe to say we've loved each other - or at least, extremely liked.  :)  I know it's true for me.

Because I typically have many words for any occasion, I have a few for each of you. Thank you for being a very large part of my family's lives.  All those things mentioned above, you've done them all for us.  I don't know if there's anything more meaningful than when someone loves and encourages your child.  You've all done that for ours.  Whether it's Ben, Drew or Ally - or all three.   They hear you calling their names from the stands and woohoo-ing them.  They remember the after-game encouragements and pats on the back whether its been a win or a loss. They think you're cool (especially if you feed them). You've made them feel special, important and even loved.  They love you too. Scott and I haven't missed any of these gestures and we thank God for every deposit you've made in their lives. This is the stuff that matters and it means a lot to us - all of us.

Maybe it means even more this year, because Ben won't be on the team next winter.  We always assumed that our final year as basketball parents would be Ben's senior year and that our guys would graduate together, but God has different plans.  It hits me heavier than I thought it would because I will miss each and every one of you.  You matter to us. God has used you - don't underestimate the depth of that.

Community can happen in  many different places, the church being my favorite.  But if Jesus is yours and you are His, then you know that His children are the church. It's not about a particular physical structure. This group of parents - attending a different church on Sundays- are "the church" at the games.  And I'd like to go out on a limb and say that we have been "doing church" together every sport season (we're just lacking a sermon and some songs!).  We're glad we got to be a part of it for 8 years. We are better for knowing you.

I speak for Scott too, when I say we will also miss your sons very much. Scott, especially because he coached many of them on JV. They are awesome boys - and they are fun to watch.  We will  pray for them and ask God to continue growing them into Godly young men.  Sometimes I wonder how long it will take for us to know the names and personalities of each boy on Ben's next team or how long it will take to sit comfortably with the other parents, know them by name and feel as we have with you, like we are in one of our living rooms together enjoying the game. Even if it doesn't, the memories we have of our time with you will be enough.  We will never forget you and hope we will stay in touch often!!  Some might say, 'It's just high school basketball.', but it means so much more to me.

"I thank my God every time I remember you."  Phil.1:3

Birthdays are for Reflecting

Very soon our family will reach yet another milestone.  Son #1 turns 20.  Of course, as we always say, "It seems just like yesterday he was born.  Where has the time gone?"  So much of family life rises and falls on the life of the firstborn.  Truly, they are the family guinea pigs, aren't they?  I wonder sometimes if we were harder on Drew than Ben and Ally.  He had to wait longer for things all his friends had or could do, because we wanted to make sure we were making the best decisions for him.  And we didn't want the next two to expect something that we later regretted allowing.  He was disciplined sooner and perhaps more severely because we wanted to set the "tolerance tone" for the other two to follow.  We encouraged his independence early and often, but with the other two maybe a little more reluctantly in an effort to hang on to their childhood a little longer because now we know (thanks to you, Drew) that they grow up and leave all too soon.

However, on the positive side, we rarely took our eyes off of Drew. We sterilized his pacifier when it fell on the floor, and just blew on Ben and Ally's.  We took way more pictures and video of him than the other two, because he was the star of the show and didn't have to compete for our attention like they have.  This was never more evident than Drew's senior year of high school when parents have to dig through pictures and make slide shows and poster board collages of their kids' life.  The amount of pics I found was, well, ridiculous.  Not to mention that his siblings insist that the only time I bake homemade rolls and cinnamon buns and stock the house with "good food" is when Drew's home from college.  (For the record, I categorically deny that accusation.)  I find myself saying frequently, "He's not the favorite, he's just the first!"

A few years ago, when he turned 16, I wrote down a bit of what was going on in my heart.  You can read that here.

This year, my heart isn't as "sad" as 4 years ago.  Instead, we feel blessed having watched this son grow out of what we affectionately call "the stupid stage" of adolescence into a fine, young man that any two parents would be proud of.  No, he's not perfect or sinless (none of us are) and still teases his younger siblings :) and chooses the flesh over the spirit at times, but his maturity - spiritual and otherwise - is noteworthy.  And we thank God for promises in His Word like if we train them up in the way they should go, they will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). And also, that He will be faithful to us by showing His love to a thousand generations (Ex. 20:6).  Truly, there is no greater joy than to see your children walk in the truth (3John 4).

So, parents, if you find yourself in the midst of parenting little ones a little frustrated by the day to day tedious tasks that go with it and wonder if this stage will ever end or make a difference, take heart!  Not only will it pass all too quickly, but every effort you make toward raising your children to love and follow Jesus will not go unnoticed  by God.  He delights in all of it - especially when it's a sacrifice because we are too tired and just don't feel like it.  Be encouraged and be strengthened - your God is pleased!

Or if you find yourselves trying to put the brakes on because you're kids are growing up too fast, relax.  Live fully in each moment, giving thanks for the good, the bad and the ugly.  Rest in the fact that when they leave, God will take good care of them.  He will do a maturing work in them that maybe can't be done under a parent's watchful eye (or mouth, as in my case).  He dreamed up each one of our children and truly does love them more and with a purer love than even the most adoring parent can produce.  He has a great plan for their lives (Jer. 29:11)...and that is what we choose to celebrate as our little guy turns 20 this weekend.

Happy 20th Birthday Drew!

And She's Off...

Yesterday she said goodbye -with some tears and lots of hugs- to the familiar, her school and her friends.  Today is the first day in her new school.  She doesn't look nervous in this picture, but she was.  After a pep talk and prayer with Dad and me, I took her off to school. (Which by the way is roughly 2 minutes from our house - unlike FHS which was 25 min!)  When we arrived, there were 4 smiley girls waiting for her (the Welcome Wagon).  They whisked her away before I could hug and kiss her in public.

I walked to the car and one word came to mind.  Surrender.  The Christian life is full of opportunities to surrender.  Then came my tears....few and brief.  Not tears of fear or nervousness, but tears of peace and even excitement.  Surrender is not difficult when one knows to Whom she is surrendering.  Jesus is good.  Jesus is loving.  Jesus has promised to be with Ally and with me always, everywhere we go.  He is trustworthy.  I have no reason to fear or be nervous.  This is all part of the story He's writing in our lives and I'm thankful today that these lives rest in His faithful Hands.  And I'm joyfully looking forward to this new season for us and so very grateful for all the friends and moms who've pledged to pray for our girl today.  Love, love, love "the church".

"He will never leave you or forsake you."  Hebrews 13.5

PS - the picture is for those of you (and there were many) who wanted to know what she would wear the 1st day!  Not khakis and a polo, that's for sure :)