I finally had some extra time in the car this week to listen to a podcast I've been eager to hear. It was an interview with an author I dig, and the subject was aging; a Theology of Aging to be precise. That phrase grabbed my attention as, unless I'm going to live a decade into my hundreds, I'm well past the halfway point of my life and I am always looking for instruction on how to live wisely to the end.
Unfortunately, my poor husband - always a champ to listen to what I suggest - had to suffer with me through too much drivel about outward appearance and the myriad of ways women vainly try to drink from the fountain of youth at nearly any cost (botox, really?). Not a proud to be an American moment if you know what I mean.
Eventually, some gold nuggets were unearthed, like the possession of wisdom and experience among the mature as a gift and responsibility to share with those coming behind.
There was talk about how older women struggle to know what their significance to the church is once they've "aged out" of certain ministries. Discussion continued regarding whether or not the younger generation values the wisdom of the older in this forever young culture. Perhaps some insecurity rises and the olders question their contribution thereby giving little; not putting themselves out there for fear of rejection. That's one consideration.
Scott and I lowered the volume and resumed the conversation, moving into the subject of retirement and subsequent shift of priority and commitment to church ministry once this crowning age has been achieved.
My mind darted to the ever-popular bucket list. You know that list middle agers compile of must-do adventures to experience before their life is over (kick the bucket). Often the checklist is reserved for retirement. Delayed gratification, right? Wink wink to you longtime friends and readers.
I, too, have been thinking about retirement in recent days more than I ever have but not eagerly; rather in uncertainty more than anticipation. Not only because my husband has reached a certain decade when retirement usually commences (ahem) and some of our friends have made their move, but also because I find it elusive.
Sure, I look forward to a time when work doesn't dominate my weekdays and I can do whatever I want with my time. Traveling sounds fun and I am excited for the freedom to spend longer stretches of time with my children and grandchildren. There's no sin in that as far as I can tell, but still, I have some concerns.
I have no bucket list. It wouldn't take me long to compile one I'm sure, but I'm not there yet. I fear the nature of such a tally. I'm still wondering about the post-career day-to-day. I worry about myself - I am so self-centered by nature; something I fight daily. How can I be sure in retirement I won't flip an American culture switch and begin to live out the last of my years focused on my own agenda of enjoyment and pleasure dulled to a former passion to serve the Lord and the church with gusto? Who will I be living for?
Back to the discussion in the car, could detachment of the olders on a regular basis, who possess the wisdom and experience the youngers need, be a missing piece in the health and strength and growth of our churches? Are they aging as the Lord would have them in relation to their church family, constantly investing their knowledge and experience of Jesus? Or have they adopted the cultural norm of "you do you" even if it leaves gaps meant to be filled by them?
In my experience when I ask someone close to retirement what their future plans are, often dreams point to a hobby or activity they've longed for - usually of the self-gratifying sort. Something they haven't had the time to engage in while being driven by work and career demands.
You can imagine my delight and thrill when recently, a man in our church who is in his last months of full-time employment, told me he is looking forward to having more time to spend at church helping out and working on projects that need to be taken care of. Wow! What a breath of fresh air. Yes! So countercultural! I wanted to hi-five but was afraid I'd spook him.
Now, before you take offense, I'm not taking shots at anyone looking forward to much deserved rewards from a lifetime of hard work. You go for it! I am certainly not suggesting retirees shouldn't travel or go on long planned trips. You have earned rest and recreation. Send pictures!
But for how long? Is it a new lifestyle or could there be a way to scratch that itch and still stay connected in a meaningful, mentoring way to the younger generation in your church and community? Because here's the thing, your gifts don't stop being needed for the Body to function as Jesus intended for His glory to be displayed in the Church.
The younger generation need you for so many things. Even if they don't ask. Even if it doesn't look like it. They are watching. They are learning. You are influencing.
Paul in his letter to Titus makes God's will for older men and women crystal clear:
"But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you."*
Yes! Now these are the kind of influencers who are needed! Reminds me of several longtime friend couples who regularly schedule local ministry and mission trips into their calendars, who are investing in their local church when present and when away. I love how they are doing this, leading the way.
It seems like this is another area of life to be asking ourselves if we have subscribed to an American cultural worldview, or the opposite - a biblical worldview. (Hello, Romans 12:1,2, I see you looking at me.) So much is at stake. We older men and women, this isn't the time to check out, we have to take up our place and teach, train and model all that the above passage exhorts.
I've been studying Colossians this last month or so (I highly recommend, so much goodness here) and Paul, its author, also gives us something here to consider on the subject:
"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."**
He's teaching a continuous ongoing effort of regularly assessing whether our ambitions and lifestyle are consistent with the ultimate goal which God has called us to - where Christ is. We live for heaven.
I love how Eugene Peterson translates it in the Message version:
"Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up and be alert to what is going on around Christ - that's where the action is. See things from His perspective."**
A Biblical Theology of Aging. Has a cool ring to it. I feel motivated to get this right. No botox required.
*Titus 2:1-8, 15
**Colossians 3:2, ESV and The Message
