It was obviously winter.
As these years (in hindsight) seem to have sprinted by and I miss them, I feel a longing to leave hurry in the rearview mirror. Have you noticed winter is the only season most cannot wait to get through and see end sooner rather than later? The other three can linger as long as they want and we don't complain.
The shift to slow down winter came for me when my first son was finishing his childhood living with us. I left the Christmas tree up longer hoping it would delay the calendar knowing next year he'd only be home for a portion of December. I cheered snow days. I baked a lot. This continued as the other two eventually flew away to adulthood.
Not much has changed in the empty nest, but for different cause. I dig my heels into winter for more reasons than just the pretty snow. Today I heard February described as monochrome, monotonous and anonymous. Yes, this is true. (It sounds so white and colorless.) But the older I get, the more value I find beneath the arctic surface of this season.
Would you believe I recently thought this, "Winter is going to end before I'm ready. There's still things I need to pay attention to, do and enjoy."? I wrote the following in my journal:
It's mid-February and while winter seems to have us by the throat, I know spring rumbles underneath the surface and soon we will hear and see its stirrings - new life will abound everywhere. I will surely love it, but I'm not quite there yet.
I'm not ready to say goodbye to dark early mornings, sitting in the quiet by an electric fire and crackling candle. I'm not ready to pack away the white lights on evergreen branches in every room of our new house. I still eagerly watch the clock to feast my eyes on blue dusk at the 5:00pm hour. I want to indulge in more orange and cranberry sweets, richly flavored hot drinks and warm comfort food dinners (Joanna Gaines' cookbooks, anyone?) and smell homemade bread wafting through the house. I need more indoor time because once the sun shines warm, I'll want out!
I pray everyday but winter seems to be more about listening and I need more time to listen and be still before the birds interrupt the silence. I have yarn to knit into mittens and hats and a stack of books saved for a snowy, cold afternoon. I haven't taken enough walks outside, listening to the snow crunch under my boots (even if I fall off the sidewalk and down in a very unflattering, ungraceful heap like last week). Also, I need to finish the Iowa Pine-scented dish soap before I trade it for something fruity and light! In short, I still have room for the wonder and pleasure that winter brings to all five senses.
The Bible tells us God, the Father created every season for a purpose AND that He is the best giver of gifts. Each season is full of gifts He gives us to enjoy and I'm determined not to leave this one unfinished because just like the season of full-time, in house parenting is far behind me, this one will be before I know it too.
And, like all others, I won't be able to go back to add to, modify or do differently.
