Each time reading through the Bible, when I get to the Triumphal Palm Sunday entry of Jesus into Jerusalem, I cheer and imagine a palm branch in my hand while shouting "Hosanna!" as He rides in. Just as quickly, I say, "I'm not ready!" because I don't want to read on to His last week of suffering, betrayal and death.
This morning's devotional reading put my mixed emotions into words "As we rehearse His messianic entrance on this last Sunday of Lent, we sing with exuberance and we wince with foreboding."* Indeed.
Forty days ago I wrote about fasting for Lent. Along with my family, some of you shared with me what you'd be resisting in your own journey. I love that. Maybe it won't be revealed to us immediately, but as I sent in a family text yesterday, it's time to now stop and evaluate the last 40 days as much as we can. Answer a few questions:
What has God revealed about Himself in the space we made for Him to do just that?
What has He revealed about us?
Has there been growth/change?
What will I do with what I've discovered?
I think it's good to share these findings with each other as we spur one another on in good works and devotion to Jesus. That said, pull up a chair and let me share mine with you.
I can do absolutely no good thing without Jesus' help and the Holy Spirit's filling. My first response to pretty much anything is usually tainted (by any number of things). I have no pure thought or motive on my own. Jumping to conclusions without facts, cutting remarks disguised by a joke, not giving the benefit of the doubt, ignoring the plank in my eye while highlighting the speck in someone else's. Truly every thought, word and deed needs to be transformed by God to be of any value whatsoever.
I am the most self-centered, self-focused, selfish person I've ever met. Self, self, self - blech! I was given fresh eyes to see this over and over again. Six weeks of me first, judging others, craving and seeking approval and admiration from men instead of pointing to Jesus, etc. Oh the pride, yuck! I could barely stand myself. Honestly, I don't want to see this most of the time, but I invited God to reveal and He delivered, remaining close by as I processed the horror of what was clear in the mirror's reflection.
In light of all the above, God isn't mad at me. I heard it said once that God's intention is for us to see the depth of our sin, acknowledge it, tell Him we're sorry and move on. He never expects perfection because we can't achieve that. There is always forgiveness (1 John 1:9) so we don't have to worry about how God will respond to our confessions. This is good news, friends! A 40-day Lent (or any) fast should never end in defeat. God is for us!
My annual goal here is always transformation, not just to wallow in the fact that I am a weak sinner or to feel bad about self (another form of self-preoccupation - insert throw up emoji), but rather to invite God to make me aware and change me. Oh I pray He has, even a little will be a vast improvement.
Some of you tender hearts are going to want to soothe me and say, "Don't be so hard on yourself, Jesus loves you. You're doing just fine and need to lighten up." Thank you for your kindness, but I believe when God reveals what's deep down in us, it is our obligation to look at it honestly. We need to take our sin seriously, be sorry for it and confess. This is the way to freedom from sin and I'm grateful for it.
Repentance is quickly becoming a forgotten concept in our tolerant culture. May it never be! Repentance is a gift from God. It is the path back to close intimate relationship with Him when our self-driven passions and decisions have resulted in an uncomfortable distance between Him and us. One thing you can be sure of - any rupture in our closeness with God is on us. He never moves. He is always wanting us to draw near. It's us who pull away.
We accumulate bad habits and pick up baggage along the way sometimes without realizing it. This is why regular attention to soul care - fasting and purging - is such an important spiritual discipline. Doesn't always feel great during the process, but there is a cleanliness and peace that replaces the corrosion. Worth it.
So as we near Good Friday and the remembrance of Jesus' unfathomable pain and suffering on our behalf to purchase our salvation, stay in that uncomfortable moment for a while. Stay for as long as it takes you to acknowledge the sin you are currently in and remember the state of hopelessness due to sin you were in when He found you.
Offer a fresh confession of current sins, gratitude for Jesus' sacrifice, and receive His abundant forgiveness and mercy. Then repent and don't look back.
Just as sure as Friday is on the horizon, remember, so is Resurrection Sunday.
This week is going to end very well. Hallelujah!
PS. The top pic - so cute, right? On the back of each card** is a daily prayer, Scripture to read, encouragement or activity of some sort for each of the 40 days leading up to Easter. Today I turned the last one over and hi-fived God. Can you make it out?"Have coffee with or call a friend or family member and share with them something that God has been teaching you during this Lent season."
Get it- I had been fasting from coffee. Ha! God is good and funny (insert Praise hands!). I love Him so much. He is worth everything and amazingly, He feels the same way about me and you. Thus, Easter.
*Living the Christian Year by Bobby Gross
**Available at www.allgoodthingscollective.com
