I Like to Count

Countdowns.  I have one or more going in my head all the time.  I don't know what it is, but they motivate me (and definitely preoccupy!). Countdown to Christmas.  Countdown to last day of school.  Countdown to first day of school. :) Countdown to birthdays.  I've even been known to make calendars to induce excitement.  Like for upcoming vacations. My favorite homemade calendar celebrated the last day Scott would deliver newspapers as a 2nd job. Not only did we have big boxes to check off, but I attached various pictures of Scott asleep - because that's mostly the way we saw him during that season and we were looking forward to having him back.

Marking off days makes me happy.  Is that weird?  Don't answer that. It gives me something to look forward to.  I kind of think it makes me appreciate the event I'm counting down to and all the days in between, living each one to the fullest. 

I noticed this trend recently and how often I do this.  It became more pronounced when our firstborn, Drew, left home for college. After he's been gone a while and the calendar shows we are less than 2 weeks out from the next time we'll see him...I start counting.  "____ days until Drew Burtis is home" rings through the house daily.  The downside:  when it's less than a week until he leaves again, the counting resumes.  This time I keep it to myself.  Not the same anticipation.  :(

Today I have several countdowns on my mind.  I thought you should know. HA!  5 hours until Ben's big game tonight.  2 and 1/2 weeks or less of this basketball season which leads us to the day Ben will live here with us full time again.  Woohoo! It's just one month and one day until our baby girl turns 15.  (Then we count down to one year until she drives - yikes!)  It's 10 days until we see Drew again. Cut me some slack here - I haven't seen him since Jan. 2!  (Didn't even see him for his 20th birthday, but that's another story.) He's stopping by on his way to a wedding - a brief stop so I can hug him (multiple times) and feed him lunch.  Then just one week after that he will be home for a 10-day spring break.  10 days!!  Then it will be just 3 weeks until Easter and the kids' spring break and then merely 4 days until my birthday.  And then....and then...and then....there's always something!

Maybe I like numbers.  Maybe I should have been a math major.  Maybe I should settle down and take a nap.

How do you keep your mind sharp??

I Never thought I'd Be a Cheerleader

In high school, I didn't go out for the squad. I was never "cheering material". Yet at this point in my life, I realize I've turned into one as an adult.  In fact, Scott and I are both cheerleaders.  It's what we do.  We've been doing it for years. (Little league baseball, soccer, track, volleyball, band, choir, basketball and more). We may as well have pompoms in our hands several times a week.

Tonight we went to Ally's first choir concert at her new school.  We cheered quietly in the dark auditorium.  Tomorrow we will watch Ben and his team play basketball for the Division 2 Championship.  We will cheer loudly from the bleachers.  Next month Drew will fly out of the U.S. en route to his 5th missions trip.  We will cheer from home with our prayers.
 
As I considered this, I couldn't help but think of how God cheers for us. It's true. Our Maker, the One who loves us more than any other, has provided cheerleaders for us every step along our journey.  Check these verses out:

• "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses...let us run the race..." Heb. 13:1 and following
• "Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings on our behalf."  Rom. 8:26
• Jesus has prayed for us.  John 17

That's good stuff!  Do we really need more than that?  I mean, as much as we love and appreciate human cheerleaders, let's face it, they may not always be there when we need them. They might be sick for our "game" or out-of-town or just be busy with their own lives.  No worries, God's got us covered.  He is the only One we can put our whole trust in.  Don't you just love that? 

I know I do.  We're all running our own race.  Life is hard.  There is a lot of pain.  We get defeated.  And lonely.  And frustrated.  And depressed.  We lose our way.  And sometimes we just don't feel like trying anymore.  So, when you're feeling weak, remember the promises God already made to you (because He knew you'd feel that way from time to time).  Imagine those in heaven, who are looking on, waiting for you, cheering you to the finish.  "Just take one more step and another until you get your momentum back. You can do it!"

Did you know we are supposed to be doing this for fellow Christ followers as well?  (Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works. Heb. 10:24)  Maybe you don't have any children to cheer on at sporting or school events.  Maybe you've "been there, done that".  Why  not seek out a weary brother or sister and cheer them on?  Tell them they've done great so far but they need to keep going.  Tell them you're rooting for them.  That you'll pray for them.  That if you can do it, anyone can! It could change someone's destiny...or even just their day.

 Focusing your attention God-ward (and helping others do the same) will be worth it, just like it was for Paul: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."  2 Tim 4:7

One Step at a Time

I wonder if there's anyone out there who is discouraged.  Are you facing something scary?   Have you committed to something that looked small at first but now seems like a giant that you're becoming convinced you can't conquer?  Are you in over your head?  Have you attempted something BIG for God but are having second thoughts?  Do you feel like you're swimming in the deep end?  Has He asked you to do something you know you need to do and even want to do (like forgiving someone) but it seems too big a task and you find yourself unsure you're up to it?  If so, this post is for you.

I read this today from Sarah Young*.  It's written as if Jesus was speaking straight to you.

"Follow Me one step at a time. That is all I require of you.  In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time world.  You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you're going to scale those heights.  Meanwhile, because you're not looking where you're going, you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now.  As I help you get back on your feet, you tell Me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead.  But you don't know what will happen today, much less tomorrow.  Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away from those mountains.  There may be an easier way up the mountains than is visible from this distance.  If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb.  I will even give My angels charge over you, to preserve you in all your ways. (Ps. 91:11,12)  Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying My Presence.  Walk by faith, not  by sight, (2 Cor. 5:7) trusting Me to open up the way before you."

I needed that today.  The phrase that really gets me is "because you're not looking where you're going, you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now." I don't want to be like the person described in James 1 - undecided, tossed to and fro in the wind.   If you're like me, sometimes you are looking too far ahead to see the wonder of what's right before you.  I love the promise that even if that road becomes steep, He will equip us thoroughly for the strenuous climb.  So, let's not borrow trouble for tomorrow, or next week, or years from now.  We don't know the future.  But we know Who does.  And He is both trustworthy and our  help no matter what may come.

So, take heart if you're discouraged.  Enjoy God's Presence TODAY.  Don't miss the blessings He has for you right now.  And imagine reaching the end of this destination you're worried about, or the top of the mountain, and hearing Him say, "I knew you'd make it.  You had it in you (Christ in you) all the time."  Don't give up!

*40 Days with Jesus by Sarah Young

Something to Look Forward To

I love holidays!  Preparing for the next holiday celebration is one of my favorite things about turning calendar pages.  I'm often thinking, "What's next?!" Maybe that's why the letdown after Christmas can be so noticeable.  Seems like the next reason to celebrate is so far away.

As a Christian, we have much to celebrate.  I'm always struck by this when reading through the Old Testament and noting how often God's people dropped everything and celebrated God and His goodness to them - often for days at a time.  I'd like some of that party action!  Yet sometimes it feels like we major on Christmas but minor on Easter and anything else.  I don't know about you, but I can barely get through Thanksgiving dinner without looking forward to the next few weeks.  Decorating the house, buying gifts, preparing food, attending parties...and my most favorite....meditating on the birth of Christ.  I read the Biblical accounts as well as a number of devotionals.  I listen to sacred Christmas music and watch movies that point my heart in the direction of the real meaning of Christmas.  I love it all and want it to last as long as possible.

Then comes Easter.  And so much less emphasis. Why?  You rarely hear it referred to as the Easter season.  Sometimes it feels like it sneaks up on us.  One day it's Palm Sunday, then we'll attend a Good Friday service and suddenly it's Easter.  And then it's over.  And yet, the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is a GIGANTIC miracle and deserves at least an equal amount of my attention.  The last few years our family has tried to correct this gross inconsistency in our  focus of this less emphasized holiday.  Each year it evolves into something a little more meaningful.  And we back out the amount of time we spend preparing our hearts to give God His due for such an amazing gift.  The cornerstone of our faith.  For without Jesus' resurrection, our faith is worthless.

I posted this quote on Facebook today:  "I heard it called spiritual housekeeping:  Praying (drawing close to God), fasting (denying self for a spiritual purpose) and giving (to the poor what we no longer need). What an intentional way to begin preparing to celebrate Easter, to lengthen and give honor for a season the resurrection of Jesus Christ, which is the foundation of our faith."  Participating in these disciplines in private makes the public celebration on Easter Sunday so much more powerful and motivating for our "rest of the year living", remembering what was given and suffered and secured for us. 

 "For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that He was buried, that He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures......And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain."    1 Corinthians 15: 3,4 & 14

Learning to Trust

I've been missing Ben this week.  Our middle child has been living in Syracuse, attending school there to stay eligible to play basketball through the end of the season.  Without us.  I'm not worried about him.  He's staying with loving, capable, generous friends.  They are taking good care of him. But I miss him.  I miss us.  The 4 of us together at the end of each day around the dinner table. Being the first one he sees when he wakes up and the last before he goes to sleep at night.

I've been rehearsing "I trust you, God" every time I begin to worry about how he'll be away which results in how much further behind he gets at his new school.  (Today marks 3 weeks).  It is an out loud way for me to emphasize that I really do trust Him. I truly do believe that even though we are apart, God has got us safely in His hand and is working His plan in all of our lives.  And that this basketball season will end. :)  I'm exercising that belief by thanking Him for all of this in spite of my ambivalent feelings.  Radical, no?  You see I've been taught that we must give thanks in all things (1 Thess. 5:18).  Usually when we choose gratitude for what we don't necessarily want....He returns with blessing.

Last night the blessing came.  Scott was at worship team practice and Ally and I were home together.  We were watching "Soul Surfer".  She saw it a while ago and wanted me to as well. The further we got into the movie, the closer Ally got to me on the couch.  By the last half hour we were sharing the same blanket and she was wrapped around me.  Love.  I thanked God.  While Ben is away, she and I are getting loads of time just the two of us.  Uninterrupted conversations.  My undivided attention in her direction.  Laughter.  Respect.  For each other.  It's changed us.  Our relationship is maturing and most pleasurable.  It was not always this way.

God answers prayers.  Like the many years of desperate prayers from a worn out mother who has tried everything she knows to reach the strong-willed child.  Repeating over and over "I thank you in advance for completing the good work You started in her"* shifts the heart from discouraged to hopeful. Trusting even when no results are visible. God is at work. He is always at work. Sometimes we just have to wait to see it. Paying attention is key. Often it comes through a deficit in another area. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I'm doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"  Isa. 43:18,19

*Philippians 1:6

None of us lives to himself....Romans14:7

I'm reading through My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers this year.  I was struck this morning with our responsibility toward one another as Christians.  I know we aren't supposed to do life by ourselves but sometimes I wonder if I mostly apply that to asking for help/encouragement and offering the same in times of need. The notion that how I live, choices I make, etc. effect everyone in the body of Christ.  This should make me pay attention. Read these questions/statements from Chambers:

• Has it ever dawned on you that you are responsible spiritually to God for other people?
• If you allow physical selfishness, mental carelessness, moral insensitivity, or spiritual weakness, everyone in contact with you will suffer.
• How many of us are willing to spend every bit of our nervous, mental, moral, and spiritual energy for Jesus Christ? (knowing it will benefit others as well as Him and me)
• Am I willing to be of no value to this age or this life except for one purpose and one alone - to be used to disciple men and women to the Lord Jesus Christ?
• My life of service to God is the way I say "thank you" to Him for His inexpressibly wonderful salvation.

Kind of takes the guesswork out of the question, "What is God's will for my life?".  And breathes new life into the phrase I've preached ad nauseum for the last 20 years "others first".  It's good to matter to others.  It's good to live on purpose for Christ knowing a brother or sister will benefit.  Note: perfection not required - that's why we have each other - to spur one another on to good works (Heb 10:24) ...and wise living!

*all bullet points from the above noted book minus italics

Some Valentine's Day Love

This is a re-post from February 2008.  That year for Valentine's Day I asked my family to write me "love poems". Words can be so much more meaningful than a gift. Did I just say that? It's true I love a well-thought out gift, but sometimes I just want words. Not only did I get them, but I gave them. At the time of writing, the kids would have been 16, 12 and 10.  If they can do it, you can do it!  Why not write a poem for someone you love today? "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19


From Drew
The Love Poem
Dear Mom,
I have known you ever since I was one,
and back then you were pretty young.
You always put a smile on my face
and in parenting, you are an ace.
I will never stop loving you,
because you have always loved and cared for me.
You were a gift from God to me,
that everyone can really see.

Happy Valentine's Day

From Ben
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am so lucky to be living with you!
You encourage me when I am blue,
and give me a clue on what is good to do!
And I will always LOVE u!

From Ally
Why I Love You
You're always there when I need you,
like brushing teeth or hair.
You're always looking beautiful
no matter what you wear.
Your ideas that you have are so marvelous to me.
______________________________________
NOW, my poems to the kids

For Drew
Roses are red
Violets are blue
We love you, Drew, our blond boy
Even when you don’t have a clue!

You’re our firstborn, baby number one
You’ve always been so smart
Since the first day that we met you
You’d stolen away our hearts!

Basketball’s your game
You’ve got talent, there’s no doubt
God has given you many gifts
For Him to others – never running out.

For Ben
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ben, you are our brown boy
Pure chocolate all the way through

You were a crabby baby
But you sure turned out just right
You’ve charmed us and unarmed us
You’re a joy and a delight!

God made you very special
Your life holds a special plan
Don’t doubt His word but trust it
For He is your biggest fan!

For Ally
Roses are read
Violets are blue
Ally, you are our princess
What would we do without you?

You’re our resident drama queen
You sure can give a show
Still, you make us laugh and are so fun
Our favorite girl to know!

God loves you very much
In our family you’re a big part
Keep following His path with all your might
And love Jesus with all your heart!

Book Review and a Few Thoughts on So Long Insecurity

I love to read.  And I love to read a great book alongside a friend - so we can discuss.  This is a book I read a few years ago, but read it too quickly because it was a borrowed copy, and worse yet, I couldn't mark it up. With all the new changes in my life recently, I figured a refresher was in order so I bought 2 copies at Christmastime and gave one to a special young lady in my life.  We've been reading it "together" since.

This is a book I recommend for women of all ages.  After all, if we're honest, don't we all struggle with feelings of insecurity from time to time?  Or all the time?  Whether it's at home, at work, at church, in relationships or just when we look in the mirror.  I know I've struggled with it all my life and have had enough.  Well, here is the step-by-step guide that puts God's Word in the driver's seat on how to identify what lays behind our insecurities and how He wants us to be overcomers and live in the security He provides - daily.  It might be the right selection for you to read with a girlfriend or group of friends. 

Here are a few favorite quotes - see if they resonate with you:

• "God's approval is a whole lot easier to get than man's."
• "Much of what we fear is fueled by our imaginations."
• "One way we can detect insecurity is by our knee-jerk reaction to any change in a relationship, particularly if we perceive that the focus has shifted away from us. The more easily threatened we are, the more insecure we are."
• "The goal in our female relationships should be to encourage one another's security.  Not enable one another's insecurity.
• "God wills for us to walk out the depth and breadth of our lives with dignity and security. Neither God nor you have anything to gain by your persistent insecurity."
• "To find yourself, your true, secure self, you must lose yourself in something larger."
• prayer "Help me to stop using a person as my mirror and start seeing myself as You alone see me."

I mentioned above that I bought a copy of this book for a special young lady in my life.  Emphasis: young. If she can lick this thing at her age - she'll have saved a lot of time and heartache and likely be closer to living her God-given destiny.  "Heaven knows how many people never fulfill their destinies simply because of their own insecurities."  This should not be! I'm sick of how our girls (me, leading the way) have grown up and never out of feeling less than someone else who may appear to be more talented, more gifted, more liked, etc.  How the simplest situation can throw us into a tailspin of wondering how worth it we are. Truly we will act like who we believe ourselves to be. I heard said once that we've allowed the enemy to come into the church, take our girls by the hand and show them how to live. 

Whether you are a mother or not Beth says, "the entire generation of adult women in any culture is systematically raising the next, whether they mean to be or not. Now get out there and show some wide-eyed little girls what a secure woman looks like."  Since I've been around the block a few times and am raising a daughter, I know that it's my job (and yours) to take up this challenge. (Titus2) After all, "We (Christ-followers), of all people on earth, possess the reason, the residence and the ongoing revelation to be, of all things, most secure."  Anyone want to join me?

*all quotes from So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore

A Warm Welcome and a New Friend

I was invited to lunch the other day by a lovely lady I just met. She told me that since seeing and hearing me on the stage at church back in October she hoped we could become friends.  She took me to a very girly restaurant where we ordered chicken salad and iced tea and later browsed through an attached gift shop.  

She shared some of her story with me as I ate.  I was so touched by her honesty and openness.  She's lived a long life with its fair share of both joy and heartache.  My hurt heart as I felt the pain of some of her experiences.  She certainly deserves the title a "wounded woman", but remarkably doesn't carry herself as a victim.  Instead, she's completely focused on serving others.  I mean, talk about a life chock full of other-centeredness.  She loves the Lord and the church with all of her heart.  Her home and calendar are open to those in need.  And here she is reaching out to me.  I felt undeserving but at the same time delighted that she noticed me and reached out to this new kid on the block.  I felt so comfortable with her that I actually thought, "If I'm ever sick, I want to go to her house, lay on her couch to just be near her and ask her to take care of me."  You know how when you're sick you just want your mom?  She's that kind of lady.

I don't think he's silly looking, I think he's cute! 

If our lunch date wasn't enough, in her kindness she presented me with a gift.  She said, "I know he's silly looking, but consider him like a prayer shawl.  Since the day I saw you, I began knitting him for you and prayed for you every day as I worked on him." (Sometimes it takes a fellow knitter to appreciate how much work and love went into a project like this). She went on to say that she knows transitions are hard for families, and that our teenagers especially were on her mind and in her prayers everyday.  Everyday.  Furthermore, she offered her husband and herself to be there for our kids in absence of family members.  In other words, if the kids have a band concert or sporting event, they want to come and show our kids support. Took my breath away.

If this sweet woman is so committed to me (someone she barely knows) and my family, how much more of herself must she give to those she loves?  I'm always on the lookout for an older woman who "gets it" and I found one!  One who in obedience to Christ is willingly and intentionally "teaching the younger women" (Titus 2:4-5).

She taught me a lot about Him that day at lunch. Things that I need to emulate.

• Like how to live in your pain.  I mean, live fully in every moment in spite of your pain.  She didn't wait for God to remove it or reconcile the circumstances to her liking and then move forward with her purpose in life.  She just lives and brings joy to everyone she knows as she does.  How often am I paralyzed when pain comes into my life?
• Like how to sacrifice her own comfort and independence to give to those who can't return the gesture. 
• Like how to stand for what is right and true even if it results in loss.
• Like how to naturally be so self-less that she notices people (who might be lonely) and reaches out an invitation to friendship.
• Like how to find humor when life is hard. She is so funny and laughed a lot!
• Like to be devoted to prayer on behalf of someone else.  Did I mention that she prayed for my family and for me EVERYDAY?

Once I start listing, I realize I could name even more.  For now, I think that's enough for me to chew on and thank God for.  In the meantime, my little prayer elephant is sitting in my office to remind me of my lovely new friend and why I do what I do.

Change Can Be Good

Change.  Some people avoid it at all cost and some people thrive on it.  I think I fall somewhere in the middle.  I love to change the furniture around in my house and the wall colors and the overall decor to suit the seasons.  But I also love familiarity, predictability and stability.  So you can imagine what the last few months have been like.  We have sold our house, bought a new one and said goodbye to the familiar - our life and ministry in Syracuse.  We've uprooted our family and moved to a new city and a new church, a new life really.  I've lived through the ups and downs of the excitement of starting something new but having to say goodbye to what I've known for so long.  I've been looking forward to meeting new friends, but reluctant to leave the current friends - many who have been a large part of my life for years.

When conflicted emotionally, I would remind myself that God is a God of Adventure.  He doesn't necessarily want us to plant ourselves in just one place for a lifetime.  He has the right to move us wherever He likes.  That energizes me.   I like adventure.  I want to go where God is going and be obedient to His call no matter when it comes in life.

Recently I read this:  "The truth is, God uses change to change us.  He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny.....How will we ever change if everything around us stays the same?  Or what will ever cause us to move on to the next place He has for us if something doesn't happen to change the way we feel about where we are?  God is thoroughly committed to finishing the masterpiece He started in us (Phil. 1:6), and that process means one thing: change."*

I love that!  I can get excited about change if it's going to bring me closer to the destiny God has planned for me. And I can always trust that God is ahead of us leading all the way.  As Scott and I have said quite a bit this last few months, "I'm all in". 

Tomorrow, February 6, I officially begin my new position at First Baptist Church in Johnson City.  I'm excited to see what God has in store for all of us who call this our church.  I picture myself right behind the Lord Jesus with my forehead pressed into His shoulder blades.  I can't really see where we're going, but He can and I'm safe and looking forward to the ride.  Where He leads, I'll follow!

A note to my new ladies at FBJC - won't you come along on the adventure?  I know God has wonderful things in store for us as we begin to get to know one another and engage in studying His Word, praying, growing and serving together to further His Kingdom through women's ministries.  I believe strongly that God has a specific purpose and plan for every woman who names the name of Christ as Savior and I'm looking forward to intentionally discovering what this is for each and every one of us - and then living it to the fullest.  I love this promise:

"What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has "prepared" for those who love Him."  1 Corinthians 2:9

I hope you will get involved in activities and allow God to equip you and also use you in the lives of other women as we begin this next season of ministry together.  As we go, stay tuned to the blog here.  I hope that these thoughts will bring you some laughter, an opportunity to get to know me and my family a little better, but most importantly point you to the One I've found to be worth living for and the source of everything good in life.  Here I will share some of the adventures He and I experience together.  You will find that many of these experience happen through what I hear and read from God's Word, the Bible.  The words on those pages are far more inspiring and life-giving than any I could write.  I hope they will encourage you to grow a closer relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

And please come in to the office for a visit too.  I'll make you a cup of coffee and we'll share life. 

*So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore

Community in the Bleachers

Reality is settling in (again).  One last goodbye is on the horizon.  It hit me the other night that I am really going to miss this group of people and their sons.

These are most of the parents of the Faith Heritage Saints Varsity Basketball Team.  We have been sitting in these bleachers together a few times a week since November, and some of us for many other seasons over the years. 

We've shared life together. We've sat on uncomfortable bleachers.  We've driven far distances to watch games (often in not-so-great weather).  We've eaten together.  We've carpooled. We've secretly celebrated snow days and no-practice days. We've sent text scoring updates to any parent who had to miss a game.We've listened to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem countless times.  We've laughed together.  We've picked on each other. We've tolerated a certain someone who insisted on a group picture.  (The one who called me queer will not be named here).  We've called, texted and emailed.  We've prayed for these boys. We've prayed for each other.  We've stood by one another when life gets hard.  We've encouraged one another when needed.  We've hugged. We've cheered for each others' sons by name.  We've collectively gasped when one of them has gotten clobbered.  We've rejected the ref's calls on each others behalf.  We've celebrated their victories and commiserated their losses.  We've loved each others' sons. I think it's safe to say we've loved each other - or at least, extremely liked.  :)  I know it's true for me.

Because I typically have many words for any occasion, I have a few for each of you. Thank you for being a very large part of my family's lives.  All those things mentioned above, you've done them all for us.  I don't know if there's anything more meaningful than when someone loves and encourages your child.  You've all done that for ours.  Whether it's Ben, Drew or Ally - or all three.   They hear you calling their names from the stands and woohoo-ing them.  They remember the after-game encouragements and pats on the back whether its been a win or a loss. They think you're cool (especially if you feed them). You've made them feel special, important and even loved.  They love you too. Scott and I haven't missed any of these gestures and we thank God for every deposit you've made in their lives. This is the stuff that matters and it means a lot to us - all of us.

Maybe it means even more this year, because Ben won't be on the team next winter.  We always assumed that our final year as basketball parents would be Ben's senior year and that our guys would graduate together, but God has different plans.  It hits me heavier than I thought it would because I will miss each and every one of you.  You matter to us. God has used you - don't underestimate the depth of that.

Community can happen in  many different places, the church being my favorite.  But if Jesus is yours and you are His, then you know that His children are the church. It's not about a particular physical structure. This group of parents - attending a different church on Sundays- are "the church" at the games.  And I'd like to go out on a limb and say that we have been "doing church" together every sport season (we're just lacking a sermon and some songs!).  We're glad we got to be a part of it for 8 years. We are better for knowing you.

I speak for Scott too, when I say we will also miss your sons very much. Scott, especially because he coached many of them on JV. They are awesome boys - and they are fun to watch.  We will  pray for them and ask God to continue growing them into Godly young men.  Sometimes I wonder how long it will take for us to know the names and personalities of each boy on Ben's next team or how long it will take to sit comfortably with the other parents, know them by name and feel as we have with you, like we are in one of our living rooms together enjoying the game. Even if it doesn't, the memories we have of our time with you will be enough.  We will never forget you and hope we will stay in touch often!!  Some might say, 'It's just high school basketball.', but it means so much more to me.

"I thank my God every time I remember you."  Phil.1:3

Birthdays are for Reflecting

Very soon our family will reach yet another milestone.  Son #1 turns 20.  Of course, as we always say, "It seems just like yesterday he was born.  Where has the time gone?"  So much of family life rises and falls on the life of the firstborn.  Truly, they are the family guinea pigs, aren't they?  I wonder sometimes if we were harder on Drew than Ben and Ally.  He had to wait longer for things all his friends had or could do, because we wanted to make sure we were making the best decisions for him.  And we didn't want the next two to expect something that we later regretted allowing.  He was disciplined sooner and perhaps more severely because we wanted to set the "tolerance tone" for the other two to follow.  We encouraged his independence early and often, but with the other two maybe a little more reluctantly in an effort to hang on to their childhood a little longer because now we know (thanks to you, Drew) that they grow up and leave all too soon.

However, on the positive side, we rarely took our eyes off of Drew. We sterilized his pacifier when it fell on the floor, and just blew on Ben and Ally's.  We took way more pictures and video of him than the other two, because he was the star of the show and didn't have to compete for our attention like they have.  This was never more evident than Drew's senior year of high school when parents have to dig through pictures and make slide shows and poster board collages of their kids' life.  The amount of pics I found was, well, ridiculous.  Not to mention that his siblings insist that the only time I bake homemade rolls and cinnamon buns and stock the house with "good food" is when Drew's home from college.  (For the record, I categorically deny that accusation.)  I find myself saying frequently, "He's not the favorite, he's just the first!"

A few years ago, when he turned 16, I wrote down a bit of what was going on in my heart.  You can read that here.

This year, my heart isn't as "sad" as 4 years ago.  Instead, we feel blessed having watched this son grow out of what we affectionately call "the stupid stage" of adolescence into a fine, young man that any two parents would be proud of.  No, he's not perfect or sinless (none of us are) and still teases his younger siblings :) and chooses the flesh over the spirit at times, but his maturity - spiritual and otherwise - is noteworthy.  And we thank God for promises in His Word like if we train them up in the way they should go, they will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). And also, that He will be faithful to us by showing His love to a thousand generations (Ex. 20:6).  Truly, there is no greater joy than to see your children walk in the truth (3John 4).

So, parents, if you find yourself in the midst of parenting little ones a little frustrated by the day to day tedious tasks that go with it and wonder if this stage will ever end or make a difference, take heart!  Not only will it pass all too quickly, but every effort you make toward raising your children to love and follow Jesus will not go unnoticed  by God.  He delights in all of it - especially when it's a sacrifice because we are too tired and just don't feel like it.  Be encouraged and be strengthened - your God is pleased!

Or if you find yourselves trying to put the brakes on because you're kids are growing up too fast, relax.  Live fully in each moment, giving thanks for the good, the bad and the ugly.  Rest in the fact that when they leave, God will take good care of them.  He will do a maturing work in them that maybe can't be done under a parent's watchful eye (or mouth, as in my case).  He dreamed up each one of our children and truly does love them more and with a purer love than even the most adoring parent can produce.  He has a great plan for their lives (Jer. 29:11)...and that is what we choose to celebrate as our little guy turns 20 this weekend.

Happy 20th Birthday Drew!

And She's Off...

Yesterday she said goodbye -with some tears and lots of hugs- to the familiar, her school and her friends.  Today is the first day in her new school.  She doesn't look nervous in this picture, but she was.  After a pep talk and prayer with Dad and me, I took her off to school. (Which by the way is roughly 2 minutes from our house - unlike FHS which was 25 min!)  When we arrived, there were 4 smiley girls waiting for her (the Welcome Wagon).  They whisked her away before I could hug and kiss her in public.

I walked to the car and one word came to mind.  Surrender.  The Christian life is full of opportunities to surrender.  Then came my tears....few and brief.  Not tears of fear or nervousness, but tears of peace and even excitement.  Surrender is not difficult when one knows to Whom she is surrendering.  Jesus is good.  Jesus is loving.  Jesus has promised to be with Ally and with me always, everywhere we go.  He is trustworthy.  I have no reason to fear or be nervous.  This is all part of the story He's writing in our lives and I'm thankful today that these lives rest in His faithful Hands.  And I'm joyfully looking forward to this new season for us and so very grateful for all the friends and moms who've pledged to pray for our girl today.  Love, love, love "the church".

"He will never leave you or forsake you."  Hebrews 13.5

PS - the picture is for those of you (and there were many) who wanted to know what she would wear the 1st day!  Not khakis and a polo, that's for sure :)