Home Alone

This certainly seems to be the summer of letting go! We had a surprise opportunity to send both Ben and Ally to Word of Life for a week of summer camp. Without parents!! It came about quickly but I knew it was directly from the hand of God. After all, isn't it me who always says 'Word of Life can change your life'. The boys have attended camp at the Ranch back when they were younger, but Ally has never had the chance to go. Well, here it is. I admit I had a crisis of thought. Can I let her go? How will she do without parental instruction? Will it be too much freedom? Will I have to reprogram when she returns? Reminder from God - whispering to me - maybe Word of Life can change her life too! Now, that's exciting. Yes, I can let go for that reason. We had a sweet breakfast together the morning she went to camp. I told her I wasn't going to tell her all the things to do and not to do. Heavens! Doesn't she hear that from me enough (nag, nag, nag). No, I wanted to speak to her heart. I told her to live it up. To have as much fun as possible. To play every game. To really listen to every speaker and see if he has a message for her. To learn from her counselor. I told her that it is her turn to shine. That she could be a great influence on the other girls. That perhaps God would speak something into her life while I wasn't there because maybe Mom is an interference at times. Well, I expect big things. She was a little nervous, but very ready to spread her independent wings. I hope it's the best week ever for her. Probably the best part is no brothers. She really is on her own with no one watching over her shoulder.

As for Ben. Well, he's on the island with big brother. He, too, was excited to be with the big kids. He couldn't wait to do the high ropes course, slide down the massive water slide and just generally pick on his brother who he really has missed this summer. I know he will listen intently to each speaker and try to apply the messages to his life. He has already implemented that discipline and I thank God for it. He will come back really charged up for God.

It's so strange in the house. It's quiet. I'm not expecting anyone to show up and say, "What's for lunch?". It's weird actually. Even going to church Sunday without them. All three gone at once. I reflected that Scott and I haven't been alone in the house for an entire week in 16 years. How about that? So far so good. I hope to not utter the forbidden words "I'm bored". I'll let you know how it goes. In the meantime...

I'm deeply grateful that God is at work in the lives of each one of our children this summer. How I pray they come home changed. I pray that they won't return just knowing the right things TO DO. But, that they will be even more enchanted with the God who created and saved and has a plan for each of their lives - and be motivated to pursue it!!

You've Got to be Kidding Me

Anyone who's known me for 5 minutes knows I love to read. I was challenged about 10 years ago to become a reader and I took it. I'm always reading something. It makes me feel smarter. It inspires me. Mostly I read Christian books that challenge me to walk closer to Christ. Occasionally I'll read a novel, but not often. I don't like getting so caught up in the lives of the characters that I ignore those in my life because I can't put the book down. But my favorites are missionary biographies. A wise mentor encouraged this practice at a women's retreat more than five years ago.

After a while, the instructional books take their toll as I feel I'm spending too much time on self. Always trying to improve self. I know it's happened when I need a break because I'm sick of myself. At those moments, I always pick up a missionary biography. Especially the old ones. There's nothing like getting inspired by the life of one who denied so much of self for Christ. Makes me want to straighten up and walk taller. Makes me want to give more of me to Christ. Makes me want less of the world and more spiritual fruit.

About three years ago I started requiring one missionary biography to be read by my children each summer. Prior to that, I read them one. Now they are on their own. They never fail to groan at first, but I know they get interested. Each day (esp. the ones with no agenda) we read for close to an hour. It's their favorite time. They look forward to it. Yeah right. I wish.

I have a dream that my children would love to read. This dream has not come true yet. (They are 16, 13 and 11.) Today the unthinkable happened. One of my children, who will remain namelesss, uttered the following question when I stated it was time to read. "Why do we have to read in the summer?" You might have thought a demon overtook their mother. Had the child just been dropped off to live in this family? I incredulously replied, "You've got to be kidding me, right? You have no idea why I have you read in the summer? Have I not been clear on my purpose? You think I'm going to let your mind go to mush just because you're on vacation?" I'm sure I said a few more things that I'm not willing to admit to this blog.

But, if you want to see this child again - I'd pray for her safety.

2 Weeks Down, 6 Weeks To Go

Talk about being unprepared. We went camping this last weekend with three other families. I expected to have our usual relaxing, fun time with all of us together. Of course, Drew wouldn't be there, but we'd manage, right? I had no idea the emotions that would come flooding through during mealtimes and while watching all the other kids play. Someone significant was missing. I had to leave one meal when I was overcome with tears. It just wasn't right to not have him with us. Maybe it was because that day marked two weeks since we had left Drew at Word of Life. Maybe it was because we couldn't have any contact with him while in Canada. Regardless, it was a mommy heartbreak moment for sure.

After that mini meltdown, the rest of the weekend went fine. Still, Scott and I talked later and compared feelings. Was it just me? No, he was feeling it too. Indeed, there was a hole. A gap. One that only Drew could fill. It was hard to shake it and I'm not sure if I was very successful. That is, until we got back to the States and I could call him and hear his voice.

Of course, I couldn't help but think of friends of mine who've actually lost loved ones to eternity. I think we got a tiny (and I mean tiny) glimpse of what it could be like trying to fit in with everyone else's complete family when someone you love and miss won't be joining you. Takes a lot of faith to walk that road. Makes me admire those who are walking it even more. I was grateful that God could take my self-focus and turn it into prayers for others.

Don't get me wrong. I still don't regret that Drew is spending the summer working at Word of Life. I don't want him to come home yet. I just miss him when the rest of us are together making special family memories. We'll be going to visit him this Friday (which will mark 3 weeks since we left him). This is the longest time apart ever. We just can't wait! We are expecting eternal dividends from this summer. When he and I chatted yesterday he told me of BIG things God is doing in his life. I marveled at them - especially since it's only been 2 weeks and he has 6 to go! What more can God do? A lot, I pray. I'm excited for him.

Here's a photo of us in our favorite picturesque spot at Charleston Lake. Hated taking that picture without Drew - so I improvised. Can you see my hand-drawn portrait of him?

Yeah, I know...don't quit your day job.