Tuesday, June 30, 2015

The Next Thing

Day 5 of the Empty Nest. But who's counting? The kids are gone and our house is empty. What to do.

A few weeks ago, as my 24/7-time-to-wake-up-here's-your-sandwich-clean-your-room-don't-forget-your-coat parenting was imminently drawing to a close, I engaged in some heavy duty prayers. I told God how all I know is raising kids and women's ministry. 

The time at our little church where Scott serves as interim pastor is also ending, which means more change on the horizon but I refused to become panicky.

I know myself and I know that I could not handle the quietness of our house and lack of something to do, so I prayed more fervently that God would give us the next thing before those things ended.

Through a series of conversations, emails, texts and connections, God opened a door. Our first empty nest adventure is taking place here, at Camp of the Woods in Speculator, NY. We've been hired to join the summer staff for the next seven weeks. 

This is where you'll find Scott and me. In our own little cabin in the Adirondacks. It has a porch! Just big enough for two. Perfect. 

 
We are excited for the change of scenery and to serve the Lord by serving people. I thought I'd tell you about our first week. Orientation.

The thing we noticed right off the bat is that we are old. 

I'd say 90% of the staff is made up of college and high school aged kids. Gulp.

No wonder the man who hired us kept talking about our "maturity" and how our ministry "experience" was something they were looking for. Code words for old people.

So the first day went pretty well as we learned of our tasks. Handing out keys at the beginning of each week, blowing up balloons, greeting guests, setting up rooms for meetings, delivering people and packages on golf carts, carrying a master key for all accommodations, etc. Psh. We've got this.

Then during day two I learned some new words. Words I'd never actually heard before. Our supervisor/trainer told us we would becoming certified belayers that afternoon. Excuse me? Come again? What might a belayer do? Then he said, "Meet me at the climbing wall after lunch."

I knew this wasn't going to be good. I've attended many a retreat here through the years and hanging out at the climbing wall has never been where you'd find me.

Well, I did ask God for something to do this summer. Begged, in fact. Gulp again. When you say yes to a position called Guest Services, this is never what you imagined to be a part of your job responsibilities. 

So after lunch we went to the climbing wall. Did I mention 90% of the staff are kids? Make that 98% in this particular situation. That's right. All kids except Scott and me. The first thing they told us to do was put on a harness.

I'm sorry, but I have to stop here. You may not know this about me, but I hold to a few personal policies. One is to never wear a harness. Ever. Unless, of course, I'm dangling from an airplane about to crash into a mountain. Maybe then. 

I looked at Scott. He grinned. Yeah, real funny, buddy. I quickly sent a family text to all of my kids. "Mayday! Personal Policy Violation! They want me to put a harness on to learn how to belay. Is belay even a word?"

You can imagine all the support (and emojis) I received. No pun intended.
I put the harness on.
Do you even know what belaying is?  Here's what Merriam Webster has to say: "Definition of BELAY. 1: the securing of a person or a safety rope to an anchor point (as during mountain climbing)."

Then I watched and listened to the whole demonstration of what they would be expecting us to do. I was to use my body on the ground to anchor a person (of any size) who would climb the wall while I perform a series of rope tricks secured through carabiners and GriGris. Another made up word. Have you ever?

I began to sweat and feel a little nauseous. I mean, adventure is one thing but holding someone's life in my hands, literally? 

Then this: "Before we can certify you, we want you to get into groups and practice belaying and climbing. Belay three people and climb the wall three times."

I don't think so. That's it for me.

I had to believe at this point that a 47-year-old mother of three could opt out of this one little thing. I mean really, with this room full of certified belayers (if that really is a word), would they seriously call on me in an emergency? How about I just sign people in?

An executive decision had to be made quickly. I took the harness off and sat down to watch everyone else, willing to take whatever punishment I deserved. 

A few of the overachievers noticed and tried to motivate, "You can do it! It will be fun!"

Yeah. No.
Turns out, I got away with it. No one seemed to notice. We were to come back a few days later for the certification. I didn't go back.

Next stop, help at the TeePee. Look what we got to do here - practice making ice cream cones. This is more like it! Lucky for me working at an ice cream stand was the very first job I ever had. Scott, however, didn't have any experience to fall back on. As you can see.


But everybody loves Scott. So no biggie. And we got to eat our cones no matter how weird and warped they came out. Very cool.


Did I mention driving the golf carts...or limos as they are referred to? Now this training was fun although I admit I'm a little nervous to drive people around on these sometimes bumpy roads. Please pray I don't dump anyone off. Not that I think I'll get much driving time. Surely this is the main reason the kids work in this department.


Entering the workforce, so to speak, after all these years has rattled me a bit. My confidence is low and my insecurities high which I'm just taking day by day.


Scott had to go back home for a few days to finish up at church so I've been by myself, except for my good friend Sandy next door who is a pro at working and living here. This helps immensely.

But, the other night it was so cold I didn't know what I'd do to stay warm. So I layered up and put every blanket I brought on my bed. The next morning one of the kids said, "Don't you have heat in your cabin?"  Heat in my cabin? Why would there be heat at a summer camp? I guffawed (an old people word meaning a loud, unrestrained burst of laughter. A real word.) Kids - always looking for comforts from home.

When I went to my cabin at the end of that day, I saw this staring back at me, plain as day, mocking.


Oh. Hmmm. Well, maybe just a little.
I slept much better that night.
I'm going to be just fine until Scott returns.
As long as the kids (and Sandy) look after me.

There are so many good things about being here. I like meeting new people, listening to the speakers, helping where needed, and being another mom to these young'ns.

Oh and I may or may not have mentioned that all meals are provided. No cooking all summer!

Looking at this view every day....


and night. Beautiful.

And a daughter, very thankful to her Father who knows her well, and has granted this respite from what could have been a very different summer.

Jesus loves me, this I know.
Jesus knows me, this I love.

He is always worth trusting and following. Always.

Pray to your Father in Heaven, who hears your prayers, even the desperate, whiny ones. 

PS. Did you happen to notice that God made it so that my new adventure (the subject of my prayers) started the very same day as the empty nest began?  

Now that is beautiful. 

Friday, June 26, 2015

There She Goes

These weeks have been heavy with activity as any mom of a graduate can understand. Awards ceremonies, prom, last days of school, exams, grad parties, etc. I know, I know, I've been writing a lot about it here lately. This is the last post, I promise.

Like her brothers did, Ally will be attending Word of Life Bible Institute in the Fall. (Shameless plug - if your child - like all three of ours - doesn't quite know what they want to do with their lives upon leaving high school, spending one year studying the Bible and putting it into practice while trying to figure it out is time never wasted-  and nobody quite gives that opportunity like WOL. Ahem, commercial over.)

One of the benefits given incoming students is an opportunity to work at WOL camps for the summer to earn scholarship money. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? But did you pick up on the timing? All summer. A.k.a. immediate departure after graduation.

One might think this would get easier with the third and final child. Yes and no. Truly it is a gift from God that they not only earn the money toward tuition, begin their independence, meet students who will also be there in the Fall and seamlessly transition into the Word of Life culture. Starting school in September is a breeze. A win win!

We could give in to our emotions and keep them home as long as possible but we don't. These decisions come from what Scott calls purposeful parenting. It's a good thing, this leaving a little early, and we are for it.

Our girl is the loudest and most animated (see what I did there, not using the word dramatic?) of all our kids which means it's going to be especially quiet around here.  

But we are not sad. We are proud of her! She graduated tonight. We are so thankful and full of joy for her accomplishment and future.
She leaves us tomorrow.

For her 18th birthday, knowing she would be leaving us a few months later, we wanted to give her an especially meaningful gift. One that might matter to her for a long time. Like most teen girls, Ally is obsessed with (overpriced) Alex and Ani bracelets. I decided to check them out. It was hard to narrow it down until I saw this one. It was worth the splurge and might be my favorite gift I've ever given her.


Dear Ally,

I bought you this bracelet because the dove charm represents the Holy Spirit. As you continue growing up into adulthood apart from us, remember that the Holy Spirit is both with you and in you. Jesus gave Him to you for several purposes:

1. He will remind you what you've already been taught about Jesus.
2. He will convict you of sin (learn to recognize and pay attention to this).
3. He will teach you the Scriptures (so read them a lot). He will help you understand them.
4. He will warn you of temptation and danger (listen carefully and watch for rescue).
5. He will fill and control you daily if you empty yourself, leave room for Him and ask.
6. He will comfort you because He is your friend.

When you look at the bracelet, remember all these things.
And how much we love you,

Mommy and Daddy

PS.  7. He will pray to your Father for you when you don't know how or what to pray for.
Jesus says: "It's better for you that I leave. If I don't leave, the Friend (Holy Spirit) won't come. But if I go I'll send Him to you. When He comes He will expose the error of the godless world's view of sin, righteousness and judgment...
I still have many things to tell you, but you can't handle them now. But when the Friend comes, the Spirit of Truth, He will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is. He won't draw attention to Himself, but will make sense out of what is about to happen and indeed, out of all that I have done and said. He will honor Me; He will take from me and deliver to you."  John 16:6-8, 12-14

"Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Rom.8:26 

What a comfort to me and Scott, that even without us, she will never be alone. God is so good like that.

Her home for the summer.  Man, we love this place.


 And that's a wrap. It's been good.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I'm Going To Miss Her

Well, here we are. Middle of June, racing toward the end of June, which translates - our baby's graduation from high school is days away. Which translates - she grew up and is leaving home soon! Which translates - the beginning of our empty nest season. Which translates - what does a full-time stay-at-home mom do now? Let's just save those last two for another day, shall we? (hint hint)

Today I'm thinking about how much I'm going to miss my girl. Indulge me for a few minutes?

I'm going to miss how she plops down on my freshly made bed to talk but never smoothes out the bedspread. I always know she's been here.


I'm going to miss how she loves to get involved in fun things. Here she is with her Aunt Chris walking in a parade to promote her Uncle Tim's political endeavors.


I'm going to miss her emoji-filled texts from school, when she should be paying attention in class. Here we are chatting about why I don't want her to kiss boys (for awhile). I think she's just messing with me, but I'll take it.


I'm going to miss how when she wakes up too early, she comes out and plops on the couch to sleep a few more hours. And how much she loves soft blankies.


I'm going to miss how she claims to have made her bed. Sheesh. Really?


I'm going to miss how she collects body sprays and lotions. Maybe I'm going to miss her messy room. Nah! Probably not.


I'm going to miss her emptying the dishwasher (and cleaning the bathrooms). More chores for me to do now.


I'm going to miss her school spirit and what she's willing to wear to participate.


I'm going to miss hearing her sing at school and church. Click here to watch one of my favorites from a recent school concert. Her quartet is featured. She's the one on the far left in the sparkly dress. Seriously watch it...you'll enjoy, I promise.

I'm really going to miss our rides to church on Sundays. Here she is in the backseat, half her outfit came from my closet. (I will also miss seeing her in my clothes. Come to think of it, I'd better lock my closet door when she's packing.)

I'm especially going to miss our must-listen-to-playlist of hymns that she insists on every week. It's as hokey as the day is long, but we have fun and good things are growing deep within all of us as we sing and car-dance along. You read it right, we car dance.


I'm going to miss finding pictures like these on my phone.


I'm going to miss our weekly dates to discuss "important things". We are not above bribing. Favorite foods in exchange for her captivated attention and listening ear. Worth every calorie.


I'm going to miss sneaking by her room expecting to bust her for being on her ipod first thing in the morning ("Jesus before Insta") and instead finding her reading her Bible and praying. Oh the shame of a suspicious mother.

I don't have pictures for everything I will miss, like how she and I outnumber Scott and may or may not gang up on him from time to time. Or everyday. How we together make fun of him and talk about "girl things" relentlessly in front of him.

I will miss how most every night this last month she has tried to get Scott to sleep in one of the boys' rooms so she can "sleep with Mommy". And how he never does it, sending her back to her room.

And especially this, I'm going to miss how she grabs Scott and I around the neck for a group hug and says, "I love it when it's just the three of us. You guys are my best friends."

Uh-oh. Where are the tissues?

In short, like her brothers, she will leave a gaping hole in our household. She has filled up our lives with fun and laughter (and challenge and frustration at times for sure), but I am so thankful to have been given the gift of raising this young woman and now sending her out into the world to start her adult life. I think she's ready.

Next stop - graduation. Nine days. I got this.